Laugh till your stomach hurts.

1, I am finally amazing today. I found an exercise method that doesn't need a treadmill at all. I eat three apples a day and then run to the toilet.

The boss asked me to work overtime. I said I wanted to be with my girlfriend. The boss said, "Is my girlfriend more important than the company?" I replied, "Yes, the company won't get sick."

My mother asked me whether I like grapes or watermelons. I said, "I like the red one."

The girl took off her coat, and I suddenly felt that I couldn't hold on, so I said, "I'm leaving. I seem to have a cold. Goodbye. "

A girl in our class hasn't been listening well. I suddenly found her reading my handwriting and asked her, "What are you reading?" She said, "Your handwriting is very beautiful." So I said, "You don't read either. Why do you watch me write? " She replied, "Because your handwriting is much better than what the teacher said."

6. When I went to the hospital today, the doctor asked me, "Did you eat too much?" I replied, "I came without eating." The doctor said, "That's the problem."

7. I went to drive and my wife sat next to me. I asked, "Are you afraid?" She replied, "I'm afraid." I smiled: "Don't be afraid, I drive safely!" " "His voice did not fall, and as soon as the car hit the road, it almost hit the car in front.

8. Today, I secretly changed a gay friends mobile phone into a toy mobile phone. He called my home, and I picked up the toy phone and pretended to answer it. He shouted over there, "Give me my phone back!" I said, "Keep your voice down, I'm playing with my son's toy phone."

9. I went to the barber's and the barber asked me, "What kind of hairstyle do you want to cut?" I said, "Just trim my hair, don't cut off my confidence." The barber said, "What about your confidence?" I replied, "It's in my hair."

10, I went to buy eggs, and the clerk asked me how much, and I said, "50." The clerk asked, "So many, what do you do?" I replied, "I want to teach that chicken to count."