Look at the world’s humorous jokes

An irrefutable fact: Those with good looks will think that the world is full of goodwill more than ordinary people. ?Well, I don’t see the connotation anyway. Next is the "Humorous Jokes from Kantianxia" that I carefully prepared for you, welcome to watch! Humorous Jokes from Kantianxia (Popular)

1. There was a very handsome guy sitting next to me on the train. I was so confused inside that I kept wanting the number until I got off the bus, but I still didn’t dare. After I got home, I told my mother that I regretted it! My mother said, “It’s not because you are ugly. If you are good-looking, people will ask you for it.” !Okay, Mom, stop talking. I believe you said I picked it up from the trash can. My father’s surname is Ma, right?

2. A man went for a walk in the park with his wild girlfriend. The girlfriend asked affectionately: “Do you love me?” The boyfriend said: “I don’t love you?” My girlfriend gave me a severe beating, and my boyfriend said as he was dying: "Do you want to hear me out? It's weird if I don't love you." ?After saying that, he hung up.

3. My brother had a circumcision operation a few days ago, and he just went to the hospital to have his dressing changed. While queuing up, I was watching this on the waiting chair. Suddenly, a kid next to me was fighting with his dad to play with his mobile phone. I accidentally hit my penis. It was so sour that I almost burst into tears. If you hadn't seen that you were a little brat and your father was so tough, I would have beaten you long ago.

4. My three-year-old son came back from kindergarten and said to me angrily: "Dad, the teacher is not good at all. He is always mean to me and won't pat me to sleep at noon." ?Me: ?Teacher can't take care of so many people like mother. You have to be obedient. Son: Just let the teacher and mother switch. My mother stays with me in the kindergarten every day, and the teacher sleeps with my father at home. ?I feel a little excited when I think about it.

5. My husband went to dinner with his friends, but there was no place because it was hot, so he waited in the car. Ten minutes later, the store owner invited them to eat, and they all entered the store. When I came out after dinner, I couldn't find my car keys. The car door opened as soon as I pulled it! What's even weirder is that the car didn't even turn off! This heart really wants to be so big!

6. The supermarket was crowded with people, and suddenly the radio rang: Who is this? Parents have lost a 4-year-old boy wearing a yellow plaid shirt and blue jeans. Please go to the service desk immediately to claim it. ?I saw an exhausted woman next to me and then said to the man next to him: ?While someone is helping us look after the children, let's go buy some groceries. ?

7. I remember the first time I ate in a revolving restaurant. I forgot about revolving. I went to the men’s room and saw a familiar urinal. I thought the revolving restaurant was very classy. I came in when I was washing my hands. A man, I said loudly, "You went to the wrong place, get out!" The man ran out immediately, and then came back proudly and said to me, "You went to the wrong place!" Oh! I'm so embarrassed, run away.

8. On the day we broke up, my girlfriend said: "Actually, I also want to cry, but reality tells me not to cry." ?My head was hot at that time, and I said with a smile: ?Are you afraid that your makeup will fall off!?

9. I had a quarrel with my husband at night, and the two of us had a volcanic quarrel, and the quarrel lasted until almost seven o'clock. I was anxious: "I don't want to quarrel with you!" My husband said: "You don't want to quarrel with me anymore, that's because you have to cook!"

10. At the end of last year, I bought a A little turtle died during the Spring Festival, but he never told her because he was afraid that she would be sad. Just now she picked up a few small stones and told me to take them home to the little turtle. I said the little turtle was gone, and she asked why. I said: I'm sorry, my mother raised the little turtle to death. I was silent for a while with tears in my eyes, and said to me pitifully: Mom, you have to be careful, don’t feed me to death! Humorous jokes about the world (classics)

1. See My friend called the same number several times, but the other party never picked up. He obviously felt very disappointed. I couldn't help but stepped forward and comforted: The other party must have heard it. It’s just that he didn’t answer. You must have made people disgusted by beating him? Who would have known that he shouted at me angrily: Get lost, you are not the one whose phone was stolen!

2.? Give you the most valuable money Hand over my belongings!? Faced with the threats from the robbers, my boyfriend pushed me out without saying a word.

For a moment I didn't know whether I should be moved or angry.

3. I got up late, bought a cup of porridge and hurriedly got on the bus. After a while, a girl came up and sat behind me. I took a sip of the porridge, and she took a sip of snot. Then she took another sip of porridge, and she took a sip of snot. , girl, can I stop dubbing while I have breakfast?

4. Once, a male classmate in our class said to a female classmate: "Your face looks like a lychee." The female classmate said happily: "You mean my face is very white?" The male classmate said: "I haven't peeled it yet." ?Then he was hunted down.

5. In geography class today, the teacher asked us, do you know what a wind power tower looks like? My second-rate deskmate said in our local dialect: It looks like you. I burst out laughing.

6. During the school sports meeting, I ran 1,500 meters. I asked how I could run fast. They said I could run fast without wearing underwear, so I was full of confidence, but on the day I ran, I ran 300 meters. Meters, just 300 meters, the eggs are all broken. Damn it, I promise I won’t beat the shit out of you when you come out.

7. Yesterday, I took the subway and there were many people standing. A girl with big breasts and low-cut clothing sat on the seat. When I looked down, I could see the belt of her pants, which made me drool. I was a little embarrassed, so I took out a can of chewing gum and wanted to eat one. Accidentally, a piece of chewing gum was transferred directly and fell between the two waves of a beautiful woman. I am so embarrassed, friend, should I take it or not?

8. Today while watching the lol live broadcast, the host said something like "Monkey Single" Pick the alligator. Unexpectedly, my mother came out quickly after hearing it and said: Son, hurry up, play it back. Let me see what monkey can challenge a crocodile.

9. I just went shopping for groceries, and my aunt gave me the wrong change. My brain twitched, and I said: "Don't lie to me, my math teacher died early." ?I saw an old man next to me kicking me? I really didn’t recognize that he was my junior high school math teacher!

10. A friend of mine who was in love once He asked his girlfriend seriously, "Will you elope with me?" His girlfriend said categorically: "Of course!" My friend was so moved that he almost shed tears. The girlfriend then said: "Going to Lijiang or Sanya? Buy a house and a car quickly. Come and pick me up when you're done!" See the world's humorous jokes (selected articles)

1. Chapter 1 with my girlfriend The intercourse was quite tense and she kept crying out in pain. After it was over, I asked her if it was really the first time! She said why do you men like to ask this question! Could it be that I am overthinking it!

2.? How do you feel about me? Pregnancy What does it feel like to be pregnant? What does it feel like to be pregnant? The feeling of wanting to vomit but not being able to vomit it out? It’s so uncomfortable.

3. A man wanted to take the Civil Service Examination. After passing the written test, he entered the unit for an interview. An examiner asked: There was a fire in a shopping mall in the county. There were 500 people inside, and 122 people ran out. What do you think? How many people were burned to death inside? A certain man said calmly: 35. So a certain man later became a national-level cadre.

4. On the bus, I suddenly felt someone touching my buttocks. I turned around and saw two beautiful girls. One of them smiled sweetly at me when she saw me. I smiled back immediately and felt happy. of. At this time, I heard another sister say: Sister, can you get rid of the bad habit of wiping your nose everywhere.

5. Tell me about my roommate. My roommate got off the train in Nanjing and took a taxi. Roommate: Master, is there anything interesting in Nanjing? Master: Is there anything interesting in Nanjing? I mentioned a few scenic spots! Then my roommate said , I don’t like to see scenic spots! The master looked back at the roommate and said: Do you want to find a lady?

6. When my husband is not together, he will say that he misses my second sister, and I will say that I miss him. Little brother. This statement was known to his buddies one by one, so he copied it and sent it to his wife. The next day, he saw a few scratches on his face, haha, he has two sisters, and he is still the boss!

7. My brother’s child is 5 years old this year. One day he went to their house as a guest. The child was spinning around by himself and accidentally hit the wall.

What happened next shocked us all. He rubbed his forehead and asked: ?1 1 is equal to what? Then he answered: ?Equal? ??Then he jumped up happily, hehe, it turns out that I was not hit. stupid.

8. I am an office worker. Because I sit for a long time, my waist hurts a little when I go home and lie on the bed at night. I asked my wife to massage it for me. After a few minutes, it stopped. I asked why it stopped. , the daughter-in-law said leisurely: I will make you comfortable for as long as you make me feel comfortable every time.

9. Teacher: Xiao Ming, get out! Xiao Ming: Didn’t you say that if you want to do your job well, you must first sharpen your tools? Teacher: Is this the reason why you masturbate in class?