Kimi's joke

In fact, until I opened the editor, I was not sure whether the news was credible.

After posting Weibo last Friday night, I found that Weibo and Douban were almost paralyzed. Several pictures in the WeChat group said "Kimi died of SM". After watching too many news about stars' suspended animation, I laughed, laughing at how the media now like to do things so much. What fake news can be used for eyeballs and reading! I stubbornly believe that "SM" is fake news and "death" is also fake news.

It was not until the news that "Kimi actually died of depression" came out that I began to believe it a little, and at the same time I was a little scared, because my subconscious told me that he might really go, and it might be really miserable if he went.

In recent days, I opened any app, and the hot search was all his name, even he went to Sina Weibo's hot search ... At this time, writing this article will probably be considered as a self-media that rubs the heat-but in any case, I will write these words that I have never said, because the person who left is you who fell madly in love in the best time.

02

It was with one talent show after another that I was able to spend my girlhood safely.

From Super Girl in Hunan Satellite TV in 2005 to Yu Siyuan in Oriental TV in 2006, and then to Kimi in My Hero in 2007.

Now I occasionally make fun of my cousin and my good friend who loves beans every day. In fact, I may be more obsessed with idols than they are.

The word idol has a strict hierarchy in my heart: because I watched a certain drama and listened to a certain song, I felt that Ta Yan value/talent was good, so I went to see more dramas and listened to more songs, which was just a temporary idol; Want to search for Ta, undersTand Ta, buy posters, buy stickers, and want to see ta, that is the real idol; After the first two states, I was still very excited to hear Ta's works, but the gossip about Ta has faded, and it has become a monument in my heart, not an idol, but a man/goddess.

However, the only place in the last category, for me, is Jay Chou since childhood. Kimi, whom I like because of the talent show, belongs to the second category.

The second kind of love, let me and my friends stay in front of the TV every summer night when there is a game, even without letting go of advertisements; Kimi, who I like, and Fu Xinbo, who my best friend likes, have a heated argument after class every day. Let the shopkeepers around the school selling stars know that we patronize every week and buy us at buy buy every week; Be clear about Wang Leehom's "Let Your Heart Go" in KTV, and insist on singing "kimi, I love you, it's never too late to be happy" like Kimi. Even the last song of every KTV date will always be "Young Battlefield".

The second kind of love makes the appearance never lack a girlish feeling. I will give birth to a girlish heart and feel charming eyeliner. Kimi with a crooked mouth is the most handsome boy in the world. Let the former schoolmaster who only likes studying know that there are Kimi, bands, rock and roll, and many interesting people and things besides studying.

03

But it is also because the second kind of love is too hard, and it will expire soon.

When I was in high school, my classmates were listening to new songs in foreign languages or chasing new stars from Hong Kong and Taiwan. My comparison in adolescence and the feeling of grade two make me feel inexplicably that it is a very low-level thing to like mainland talent stars who are not good at singing and have no recognizable voice. I also began to listen to Chen Qizhen, Natalie, Avril Lavigne and Gaga, but I never met a star who moved me, fascinated me and shouted.

I went to college and formed my own band. I want to say goodbye to those songs and singers who used to think that rock and folk songs are actually very popular now. I don't know what real rock and folk songs are. Anyway, I pretended to listen to some songs and watch some music festivals, but I never met the star I wanted to pursue, including occasionally watching new talent shows.

After work, I watched several domestic cinema films starring Yifeng Li and Jing Boran, and cooked and ate in my spare time. I just smiled. In addition, Kimi hardly made any big moves except that she once went to a hot search because of Weibo's improper words. Although I still remember my crazy love for him, I forgot this person half voluntarily and half compulsively.

I haven't finished watching his movie, even the most famous one, nightclub. I haven't heard his album, together with a famous title song; I also didn't open the variety show he participated in; Not to mention his meetings and concerts.

I convinced myself that I could forget my idol when I was young to this extent, as if I had liked him or fell in love with him, and I avoided my predecessor after breaking up.

04

So I am ashamed. I want to look for him after 1989, but it is because of his departure; At the same time, I am selfish and glad that I don't like him more and more. If I continue to like him, I don't know how to face his departure-just like my brother's fans, no matter how many years later, they will pay homage again, cry and fall in love on April 1 day.

Today, I visited his Weibo all day, only to find that although he always sends photos, he always uses a pause that looks very happy, but depression has long been a clue. When he stopped talking about depression in Weibo, everyone thought he was cured, but in fact he had given up; After listening to his songs all day today, I realized that he is actually very talented and his voice is actually very nice. He and his previous pink7 are actually very rock and roll. . Today, I searched his movies and variety shows all day, only to find that he is not as quiet as I remember. In recent years, he has been working hard, not only to realize his dream as a singer, but also to become an actor and a star. Today, I happened to see the hero in the Korean drama "Let's Eat Together" that I liked some time ago. I felt that Yin Dujun, the actor who played him, was very familiar with him and liked Yin Dujun very much, probably because he and Kimi were very similar in eyebrows and eyes. ...

It's really bad for a fan to be so conscious.

I began to pray that Jay Chou, the male god, must be healthy and happy. He doesn't want to see the 80-year-old concert you promised, but he can proudly tell his children and grandchildren how awesome he was when he was young. I also began to let go: Li Chen must be healthy and happy, and will not resent your infidelity. I hope you don't lose the ability to like and chase who you like; I also began to calm down: all the stars I like or have liked, whether it is the change I like or the change of your style and appearance, it doesn't matter, as long as you feel good and right.

The requirements for idols are getting lower and lower, and the love for idols is getting cleaner and cleaner.

05

While writing, I randomly clicked on a large number of articles about depression in my circle of friends. It seems that I still don't want to believe that the boy who smiled brighter than the sun collapsed because of depression. I don't want to imagine what kind of vicious public opinion he has experienced in the entertainment circle and what kind of painful physical and mental suffering he has suffered in the past nine years. I don't really want to take him away, although he didn't occupy such an important position in my life when he was here. However, existence itself is a good thing.

Yes, existence itself is a good thing.

Thank you for giving me the best thing, that is, I found your cool broken hair on TV, holding the microphone obliquely, and toxic eyes, that is, I excitedly collected your voice and images with magic, that is, I gave you the most real and beautiful joy when you were young, kimi.

But now I have nothing to give you except these two thousand words.