Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Please ask for some jokes, entertainment programs, brain teasers, riddles, etc. As long as the effect is good, it can be turned out like sesame seeds or rotten millet! ! !
Please ask for some jokes, entertainment programs, brain teasers, riddles, etc. As long as the effect is good, it can be turned out like sesame seeds or rotten millet! ! !
Jokes: 1.
Once upon a time there was a man named Ah Shuang.
He died.
The day of the funeral.
His family members cried: ‘
It’s so cool... it’s so cool. ’
Passers-by were puzzled. Asked: "What do you enjoy?" '
The family cried bitterly: 'It feels so good... it feels so good!!
2.
A cat discovered a mouse….
So the hungry tiger rushed towards the mouse to eat him
But later the cat was eaten by the mouse...
Why
Because
==gt; tigers and mice are stupid and can’t tell the difference
3.
Patients in the psychiatric department of the hospital often have questions about Doctors or nurses have an admiration complex.
One day, a female patient came to a male doctor...
Female patient: Doctor Lan, do you love me?
Dr. Lan thought for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient and avoid worsening of the condition)
Dr. Lan: Our relationship is between doctor and patient. Because you are sick, I must take good care of you. You...
(In order not to hurt the patient, Doctor Lan explained for a long time and finally finished)
Female patient: Doctor Lan, you mean you don’t love me oh?
Dr. Lan (thinking hard): Hmm... um... um...
Female patient: Fortunately... I love Dr. Chen...
4.
There is an old lady in the mental hospital.
Wear black clothes and hold a black umbrella every day.
Squatting in the mental hospital At the entrance of the hospital.
The doctor thought: To cure her, he must start by understanding her.
So the doctor also wore black clothes and held a black umbrella. He talked with her Squatting there together.
The two squatted in silence for a month.
The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:
Excuse me-------
Are you---also a shiitake mushroom------?
5.
One day, Turtle father, turtle mother and turtle son's family decided to go on an outing. They took a Shandong pancake and two cans of sea chicken and set off to Yangmingshan. After ten years of hard work, it’s finally here! They sat on the ground, took off their equipment and prepared to eat. As a result, I discovered that I didn’t bring a can opener!
Turtle son: "...Then I will go back and get it."
Turtle dad: "Good boy! Hurry! Your parents are waiting for you to come back and have dinner together. Go and come back quickly!" "
Turtle son: "You must wait for me to come back! Don't break your promise!"
So Turtle son set out on his way home...
Time flies like an arrow. Shuttle, 20 years have passed in the blink of an eye, but the turtle son has not yet appeared.
Turtle mother: "Honey... do you want to start dinner? I'm so hungry..."
Turtle father: "No! We promised our son! Well...wait for him Five years later, if he doesn’t come, I’ll leave him alone!”
Five years have passed and there is still no sign of the turtle son. Turtle’s parents don’t care anymore! The two elders decided to start.
Took out the big cake and was about to eat it...
Suddenly, Turtle Son poked his head out from behind the tree...
Turtle Son: "Damn! I knew you would steal it! You lied to me to go back and get the can opener? I waited for twenty-five years and finally got it! I hate it the most!
6.
Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three gold in my name?
Dad: You are short of gold in your life, so you named it Xin. For example, some people lack water in their lives, so they are named Miao, and some people lack wood in their lives, so they are named Sen.
Xiaoxin: Dad, what do you think Sister Guo Jingjing lacks in her life?
7.
A male and female friend were sitting on a park bench and talking about love. The girl suddenly wanted to fart.
Talking to the man: The singing of the grain bird in my school does not sound like it to you.
The man was happy to listen.
As a result, the woman fart happily under the cover of the chirping of "cuckoo cuckoo".
Female: Doesn’t the elephant sound like a bird?
Male: The fart was too loud, I couldn’t hear it clearly!
8.
The turtle is injured. Let the snail buy medicine. After 2 hours, the snail still hasn’t come back. The turtle got angry and cursed: If you don't come back, I'll die! At this time, a snail's voice came from outside the door: Don't you dare say I won't come back anymore!
9.
One day an elephant was taking a bath. Suddenly an ant came over and said to the elephant. You stand up. The elephant stood up. Ant! Just sit down. The elephant asked the ant what he wanted to do. Sometimes he stands up and sometimes he sits down. Ant replied! I lost my underwear, let me see if you were wearing it
10.
The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and the ants came out in large numbers and climbed on the elephant one after another. . The elephant shook himself and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another ant on the elephant's neck, and the fallen ant shouted "Strangle it to death".
11.
One day in computer class, a row of classmates’ computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer has crashed, and our row is all dead." At this time, many students said, "We are also dead." At this time, the teacher asked: "Who is not dead? "Only one student stood up: "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely: "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?"
12. A monkey must stuff a peanut before eating it. Put it in your butt and take it out to eat. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it a peach, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey was frightened. Now it must be measured before eating.
13. Xiao Ming: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?"
Dad: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy..."
14.
Tell a story: "Once upon a time, there was a eunuch..."
Someone couldn't bear to ask: "What's down there?"
Continue telling the story: "Down there? It's gone..."
15.
There was a man who had just learned a foreign language. He was walking on the street that day and accidentally I stepped on a foreigner's foot, and the man hurriedly said: "I'm sorry." The foreigner also politely said: "I'm sorry too." When the man heard this, he hurriedly said: "I'm sorry. Three." The foreigner was dumbfounded and asked: "What are you sorry for?" The man said helplessly: "I'm sorry five."
16.
Tang Monk A letter to Sun Wukong
Dear Wukong:
I write this letter very slowly because I know you can’t read quickly!
We had rain twice this week, the first time it rained for 4 days and the second time it rained for 3 days!
How are you doing in Huaguoshan? I have a very bad life in heaven. Since there is no gravity, my stool, urine, tears and nose can't fall. Do you think it's hard?
The beef noodles we have here are delicious. When you come another day, we will go to the restaurant on West Street to eat hot pot together!
Your eldest sister Guanyin is about to give birth. Because I don’t know whether it will be a boy or a girl, I don’t know yet whether you will be an uncle or an aunt!
Have you received the clothes I sent you? When I was going to mail it, I was afraid of being overweight, so I cut off the buttons and put them in my clothes pocket!
It’s getting late so I’m writing this here. If you have time to come to my place, remember not to drink too much water, otherwise it will be very uncomfortable if you can’t urinate when you get here!
P.
S I wanted to send you money, but the envelope was already stuck!
17.
· A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. I have pooped out whatever I eat, cucumbers and cucumbers, watermelons and watermelons. How can I recover? What's normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.
18.
· Someone went to Shanghai on a business trip and lost a dollar on the street. The police said, "We will help you find it." A month later, the person went back and lost it. Qian's main street was dug up for road construction, and he couldn't help but sigh, "Shanghai is real"
19.
Classic joke: This ant An ant was basking in the sun one day , suddenly saw the elephant walking slowly, he stood up and straightened his front legs. The rabbit next to him asked what were you doing? The ant said: "Shh~~~~~~~ Keep your voice down and watch me kick him"
20. The earthworm family was very bored today, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces and went to play badminton. Earthworm's mother thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Earthworm's father thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!" The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football
21. The tortoise and the hare... the hare The turtle quickly ran to the front... The turtle saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: Come up, I will carry you... Then... the snail came up... After a while. The turtle saw an ant again and said to him: Come up too. So the ant came up too. After the ant came up, he saw the snail above and said "Hello" to him. You know. What did the snail say? The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...
22.
One day, there was a fire in the house, and the parents escaped, leaving only The next son was still inside. The mother was very nervous and shouted outside the house: "Son...you are doing it...it's on fire and you still can't come out..." The son replied: "I I'm putting on my socks..." The mother said again, "Why should I wear socks if there's a fire..." Five minutes later, the son still hasn't come out... The mother shouted nervously, "Son Ah, what on earth are you doing? Come out quickly~ It’s all on fire, but you’re still in there..." My son said, "I’m taking off my socks...
23.
A man went fishing by the river and first pierced a leaf. No fish took the bait for a long time, so he changed it to a piece of bread. No fish took the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to change it for earthworms. Again, no fish took the bait for a long time. He became angry. ~Took out 100rmb, threw it into the water and cursed: "*—# What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself!!!
24.
gt; My deskmate had a cold and a runny nose, but he I forgot to bring my handkerchief, so I kept sucking snot into my nose. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted: "That's enough!" Stop it! It’s so noisy! "The whole class was quiet. The teacher said again: "Who is eating noodles secretly in class and making such a loud noise? ”
25.
The patient said to the dentist: “You are really good at making money. You made 3 US dollars in only 3 seconds.” ”
The doctor replied: “If you want, I can pull it out for you in slow motion.”
"
26.
"Narcissism" means that I must be reincarnated as a woman in my next life and then marry a man like me; "Despair" means that I ordered two dishes at a restaurant. The first person asked: "Is there anything more delicious than this in the world?!" The second person said, "Damn! It really does!" "Speechless" means the judge asked: Why did you print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I don't know the real money. Huiyin
27.
The Weaver Girl went down to the earth to take a bath and met the Cowherd, and performed a shocking love story. This incident tells us: there is no chance to take a bath at home, so You must go outside to take a shower...
28.
After using the toilet, Xiao Ming returned to the classroom and said to the teacher: "There are a lot of ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of ants. I learned the word ant in English, so I tested Xiao Ming: "How do you say ant?" Xiao Ming looked confused... and said: "Ant... didn't say anything..."
29.
A man kept farting loudly at work, and his colleagues couldn't help but say to him, "Can you keep quiet?" Then they saw him sitting there shaking. His colleagues asked him strangely what he was doing, and he replied: "I'm silent, now it's set to vibrate!!!"
30.
Female mosquito: "My child, what's wrong with you?" The little mosquito cried and said: "Today, the little flies bullied me, saying that I am bloodthirsty and a vampire." Female mosquito: "Don't pay attention to it, their family is not a good thing, they all grew up eating shit
31.
I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday, I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said solemnly: "How can this be from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This was from last week.
32.
Son: "Mom, I failed the math test today" Mother: "Why, what question." Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3= ?I said =6." Mother: "That's right, and what next." Son: "Then the teacher asked me again 3*2=?" Mother: "Aren't these the same thing!" Son: "Me too. That's right...
33.
A prisoner was executed by firing squad. The bullets were produced by "XX County" and were of poor quality. The first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired. ...The third shot...At this time the prisoner cried: "Strangle me to death, it's too scary!"
34.
The father told his son Story: "The uncle asked Xiaoyang to cut firewood. Unexpectedly, Xiaoyang chopped down the peach tree that the uncle loved most. The uncle was very angry when he saw it but did not scold him. Do you know why?" The son replied: "Maybe it is. Because Xiaoyang still holds an ax in his hand, I dare not scold him
35.
Dung Beetle and Mosquito fall in love and meet for the first time. Dung Beetle: "What do you do?" Mosquito: "Nurse, the one who gives injections." The dung beetle grabbed the mosquito's hand and cried bitterly: "It's fate, I am also a doctor, a traditional Chinese medicine, and a pill maker
36.
A man couldn't find a girlfriend, so he had no choice but to go to fortune telling. The fortune teller said: You are destined to have no women in the first half of your life. But the man's eyes lit up: Then I should have one in the second half of my life? The fortune teller said: Hey, in the second half of my life You get used to living alone
37.
Someone was eating and couldn’t see a piece of beef in the beef ramen, so he pointed at the bowl and asked the boss: Why is there no beef in the beef ramen? The boss said lightly: Don't take it too seriously. Do you still expect to get a wife out of the wife cake?
38.
The three mice tasted American, Japanese and Chinese respectively. Wine, the mouse who drank American wine took 3 steps and fell over; the mouse who drank Japanese wine took 2 steps and fell over; the mouse who drank Chinese Erguotou held a kitchen knife in his hand and shouted: "Where is the TMD cat?" p>
39.
While eating in a restaurant, a customer who had been waiting for a long time called to the waiter and asked, "Why is the braised fish I ordered not ready yet?" "Can you please try again?" Wait a moment, sir." "What? Are you still waiting?" The customer got angry and said, "Are your fish caught fresh?"
40.
One day , the cow posed a problem to the donkey, asking which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male.
, which is only female. The donkey racked his brains, but still couldn't answer. The cow scolded: What a stupid ass, men are on the left and women are on the right!
41.
A man was about to jump off a building. His wife, who had just come back, shouted: "My dear, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" After hearing this, the man did not hesitate. He jumped down hesitantly. The negotiator standing next to him said: "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this
42.
The director and the section chief*** While riding in the elevator, the director farted and said to the section chief: "You farted." The section chief said, "I didn't fart." Soon the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: "You can't even bear such a big fart." , what use do you need?"
43.
A lazy cat pursued a mouse crazily, and finally got married. After the marriage, the cat protected the mouse in every possible way, and the mouse quickly became fat. The mouse was very touched: "My dear, why are you so nice to me?" The cat chuckled and said, "You will know when you get fatter.
44.
Every time you look in the mirror , I always encourage myself by thinking to myself: "I am very creative, and being ugly is not my original intention. God, don't lose your temper. I will live bravely and use my endless creativity to set off the world." Beautiful! In fact, I am really creative...
45.
My friends went hiking together. At the top of the mountain, a girl faced the beautiful mountains and rivers and shouted: Motherland Ah! My mother! A boy who had a crush on her quickly shouted: Motherland! My mother-in-law!
46.
I bought two puppies before, called " The "face" is for you, and the "butt" is for you! Unfortunately, "face" died in a car accident a few days later. Whenever I see "butt", I think of your "face"! If your "face" is still there, Now it's as big as a "butt"!
47.
After Tang Zeng drove away Wukong, he encountered a monster again. He had to recite a tight spell to call Wukong back to save his life. Soon, there was a sound in the air A voice: "I'm sorry. The user you called is not in the service area, please try again later.
48.
The mouse went for convenience, but the bear was also there, too scared to dare With a squeak, the bear glanced at the mouse and said, "Can you shed your hair?" The mouse trembled and said nothing. The bear asked again: "Are you losing your fur, you?" The mouse said tremblingly: "No..." The bear grabbed the mouse and wiped its butt and left! [Treat mice as toilet paper...
49.
I was chatting with a friend just now, and they talked about you, do you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was too much! I don’t treat you like a pig at all!
50.
On Panda’s birthday, I would like to say to everyone: I have made two wishes. One is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to have a color photo
p>
51.
The bee chases the butterfly, but the butterfly marries the snail.
The bee was puzzled: How is he better than me? The butterfly replied: I have my own house after all, but it’s not like you living in a dormitory
52.
Hey...! There is always one month. How many days...!
53.
The production team bought a male donkey, but it died within a few days. The female donkey happened to be in heat. The employees of the production team Call the captain of the production team who is on a business trip out of town. "Captain, the female donkey is in heat, but the male donkey is dead. Should I buy a male donkey first or wait for you to come back?"
54.
Little Shit Beetle: Mom, why do we eat shit? Mother Dung Beetle: How could this child say such disgusting things while eating?
55.
A shooting star flashed across the night sky, and I quickly made a wish, hoping that you would become beautiful. Who would have thought that just after I made my wish, the meteor came back with a "swish" and said to me, "Brother, are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?!!"
56.
Give me a steamed bun in the cafeteria as a fulcrum, and I can lift the earth! lt; Understand, the steamed buns in this cafeteria are too hard...gt;
57.
I saw "The food in the cafeteria can only be fed to pigs, but it is still given to us?" "I thought of a sentence. A classmate went to the cafeteria to prepare a meal. After the meal, he asked the cook, "Master, why is there rice in your sand!!!"
58.
A must-read story for girls: A bat was reincarnated by God. God said he could agree to three conditions. The bat said, "I was black in my last life, so in my next life I want a snow-white body and wings. I'm used to it." Blood. Let me suck blood." God said, OK, I agree. Do you know what he will be in the next life? "Sanitary napkin". Haha.
59.
Flies in the restaurant to the toilet The fly said: You chase fish and smell all day long, while I eat and drink hot food all day long, come here! Toilet fly: There is no use in eating well. How many naked beauties have you seen? p>
60.
When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Zhou Huajian’s songs, and a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl on the upper bunk asked: Mine. Where is Zhou Huajian? The girl on the lower bunk replied: On my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then they all fell on the bed.
61.
A boy nicknamed a friend of his class, Fat Pig. The girl cried to the teacher and the teacher agreed to criticize the boy. The next day the teacher came to the class Said: "A certain boy is too rude and gives other people random nicknames. You can't just call them whatever they look like, right?"
62.
A police dog saw him coming on the road. An ordinary dog ??ran towards it with a fierce attitude and asked: I am a police dog, what are you? Ordinary dogs would look at it with disdain and say: Idiot, look clearly, I am in plain clothes!
63.
If there are no flowers, spring will be lonely. If there is no passion, the four seasons will be mediocre. Without me, you will lose the person who cares about you the most! Without you, the little rabbit will ask: "Who should I race with?"
64.
I have a request: treat me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me, otherwise I will write your mobile phone number on the wall, and add two words in front: apply for a certificate. Treat me to a good meal, or write: marriage, no conditions required
65. p>
Male: I really love you, please be my girlfriend!Female: But I have no feelings for you at all!!Male: Okay, tell me what is wrong with me, and I will change it !!Female: Then tell me what is good about me first, and I will change!!!
66.
There is a lady who always calls her grandson a diploma. Someone asked She: "Why is it called a grandson's diploma?" The woman replied: "I sent my daughter to college, but after she graduated, she brought back this little guy."
Brain teaser: 1. There is a jar of wine buried there. After spending a thousand years underground, what did he become?
Answer: alcohol
2 There was a pig who walked and walked until he reached England, but he became What did it become?
Answer: Pig
3 During class, the teacher randomly checked and recited the text. Piglets, puppies, and kittens all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call?
Answer: Puppy, because of Wangwang Senbei
4 Butterfly, ant, spider, centipede, they work together, which one does not get paid in the end?
Answer: Centipede , no reward for no merit
5 The elephant in the zoo has the longest trunk, so who is the second longest?
Answer: baby elephant
6 Which fruit has the worst eyesight?
Answer: Mango
7 Which two vegetables have mobile phones?
Answer: Turnips and greens, each has its own Sony Ericsson
8 A turtle walked across a pile of poop, but only left three footprints on it. Why?
Answer: There is a foot holding the nose
9 Why do people go to bed to sleep?
Answer: The bed does not come by itself
p>
10 It turns out that there were actually 800 Spartan warriors. Why did it become 300 in the movie?
Answer: Wu Bai went to sing
11 Why can Xiaoqiang stop the car with one hand?
Answer: Taxi
12 If there is a car, the driver is a prince and the passenger is a princess, whose car does it belong to?
Answer: If
13 metal, wood, water, fire and earth, who has the longer legs?
Answer: Ham sausage
1 Who in the world gets old all of a sudden?
Answer: Bride. Because today she is the bride and tomorrow she will be the wife.
p>
2 How much is a heart worth?
Answer: 100 million. Because you are single-minded!
3 How much money should you bring with you to go out in typhoon weather?
Answer: 40 million. Because of the typhoon weather, don’t go out unless you have something to do.
4 It’s time to take an exam, what books can’t you read?
Answer: Encyclopedia ( Encyclopedia loses all).
5 If the end of the world is tomorrow, why do some people want to commit suicide today?
[Answer] Go to heaven and occupy a place
6 Question: What are you afraid of cloth and paper?
Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of nothing.
Reason: Don’t be afraid of ten thousand (cloth), just be afraid of something unexpected (paper).
7 Question: What is the last name of Pencil?
Answer: Xiao
Reason: Sharpen (Xiao) pencil.
8 Question: What will the unicorn become when it reaches the North Pole?
Answer: Ice cream.
Reason: Ice cream (Ice Kirin).
9 Question: Which number from 1 to 9 is the most diligent and which number is the laziest?
Answer: 1. Lazy; 2. Hardworking.
Reason: One (1) does not do it and two (2) does not stop.
10 Question: How to make a sparrow quiet?
Answer: Press it.
Reason: silence.
11 Question: Who is the fastest runner in history?
Answer: Cao Cao
Reason: Cao Cao arrived
12 Question: Which number from 30 to 50 is worse than a bear’s poop!
Answer: 40
Reason: Facts speak louder than arguments
15 September 28 is the birthday of Confucius, so what day is October 28?
Answer: Confucius Full Moon
16 The wolf is coming (guess the fruit)?
Answer: Star Tao (Sheep Flee)
17 What would the world be like if Jiang Gong (Chiang Kai-shek) was still alive?
Answer: One more person...
18 Are there carps (four-character idiom) under these two pieces of ice?
Answer: Polite (Bingbing) (There are carps)
19 Why can tofu hurt people?
Answer: Because it is frozen tofu
20 A bus had an accident, and everyone was He was injured, but why was Xiao Ming okay?
Answer: Because he is not in the car
21 There is a place that can be entered or exited. What is this place?
Answer: Grave
22 In the 100-meter race between chicken and goose, the chicken runs faster than the goose. Why does it arrive at the finish line later?
Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction
23 The class bell rang in the east , but no classmates are in the classroom. What's going on?
Answer: She is in physical education class
24 Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but the teacher praises her as one of the best in mathematics. Why?
Answer: From Count to two
26 Some people say that eating fish can prevent myopia. Why?
Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wearing eyes
27 What has no tongue in its mouth
Answer: A teapot spout
28 What does it look like? The official can't give orders, but he has to laugh at others all the time?
Answer: Xinlangguan
29 A police officer ran away after seeing a thief. Why?
Answer: Want to catch the thief quickly
31 Why can frogs jump higher than trees?
Answer: Because trees cannot jump
32 "You stand with a pig", guess an animal
Answer: Elephant (like)
p>
34 What flowers cannot be touched
Answer: Sparks
3 6 When will the clock in Times Square ring 13 times?
Answer: It’s time to repair
37 In ancient times, who became a father-in-law before becoming a father?
Answer: Eunuch
38 When someone knocks on the door, you would never say please come in?
Answer: When going to the toilet
39 Are black chickens or white chickens more powerful? Why?
Answer: Black chickens are more powerful and can lay white eggs. Chickens cannot lay black eggs.
40 Why do everyone like to sit and watch movies?
Answer: Because standing and watching will make your feet sore
41 What will be the impact of abolishing morning self-study?
Answer: Sleep less for half an hour
42 Let the tortoise and the hare race, and let the pig be the referee. Who will win?
Answer: Can’t say! The person who said it was a pig...
43 What is the similarity between what two women said and what a thousand ducks said?
Answer: Nonsense (chicken) talk
45 Why doesn’t the plane hit the stars when it flies so high?
Answer: Because the stars will "flash"
1 Who is the king of beasts? ●Zoo Director
2 What kind of person will appear after death? ●People in the movie
3 What kind of hat cannot be worn?●Nut hat
4 What kind of book can’t be bought in the bookstore?●Suicide note
5 Elephant’s What does the left ear look like? ●Right ear
6 What water can never be used up?●Tears
8 The family asked the doctor about the patient's condition, and the doctor only raised 5 fingers, and the family cried. What is it? The reason? ●Three long and two short
9 If you put a chicken and a goose on an iceberg at the same time, why does the chicken die but not the goose? ●The goose is the penguin
10 Which English letters do people like to listen to and are listened to by the most people? ●CD
11 What is the secret of human longevity? ●Keep breathing, don’t stop breathing
12 The angrier something becomes, the bigger it becomes? ●Temperature
13 What is the flower that blooms all year round? ●Plastic Flower
14 Why does Chang'e like to live on the moon? ●Chang moth likes to eat rabbit meat
16 What is the name of farting before death? ●Absolute Sound
19 When the earth explodes, which place is the safest? ●Hell
20 A group of henpecked men are gathering together to discuss how to restore the glory of manhood. Suddenly they heard that Their wives came, and everyone ran away except one person. Why? ●I fainted from fear
22 What word is used all over the world? ●Arabic numerals
23 A child and an adult are walking in the dark night. The child is the adult's son, but the adult is not the child's father. Why? ●Because they have a mother-son relationship
24 Two pairs of father and son went to buy hats. Why did they only buy three hats? ●Grandpa, father and son
25 Why can’t eggs be broken with a hammer? ●Of course the hammer won't break
26 A man was being chased by a tiger. Suddenly there was a big river in front of him. He couldn't swim, but he passed by. Why? ●Fainted
27 The world boxing champion is easily knocked down by what? ●Sleepy
28 There is an idiom with one or four characters for a lady who has been divorced several times?●The ex-father (gong) has exhausted his energy (abandoned)
29 What is the worst thing for a person who stutters? ●Making long-distance calls
31 Is "Kiss" a verb, adjective or noun? ●Conjunction
32 After the heart transplant operation failed, the doctor asked the patient who was about to die if he had any last words to say. You Guess what he would say? ●Actually, you don’t understand my heart
33 Why do men have to fistfight when they drink together? ●If you don’t eat the toast, you will be fined with wine
35 When will the sun rise from the west? ●When swearing
36 There is a newborn baby. There are two children born in the same year, same month and same day as him, and they are born to the same parents, but they are not twins. Is this possible? ●Maybe, they are triplets
38 A new hospital has opened in the city with advanced equipment and considerate services.
But the strange thing is: not a single patient is admitted here. Why is this? ● This is a veterinary hospital
39 In winter, how can we turn ice into water immediately without heating? ●Remove two points from the ice
41 Why does the peacock fly to the southeast instead of northwest? ●Because there is a high wall in the northwest
42 A truck driver and a motorcyclist collided. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was fine. Why? ●The truck driver was not driving at the time
44 There was a young man who wanted to cross a river to do errands; however, the river had no boats or bridges. So he swam across the river in the morning, and he swam to the other side in just an hour. That afternoon, the width and flow rate of the river had not changed. More importantly, his swimming speed had not changed either, but it took him two It took half an hour to swim to the other side of the river. Why do you think it was? ●Two and a half hours add up to one hour
45 There was a large ship on the sea. Its original capacity was 60 people. As a result, when the 59th person was on board, it sank. Into the sea! Why is this (there are no pregnant or overweight people in the boat; there are no heavy objects on the boat)?●Don’t be nervous, it is a submarine
47 There are two people, one facing south and the other Those facing north were not allowed to look back, move, or look in the mirror. They were asked if they could see each other's faces. ●Of course, they are standing face to face
50 What is the difference between Confucius and Mencius? ●Confucius’ son is on the left. Mencius’ disciples are above
51 What can I borrow without paying it back? ●Borrow light
52 What is the first animal you see when you enter the zoo? ●Conductor
53 What is something that a magnifying glass cannot magnify? ●Angle
54 What will increase by half when it is inverted? ●6
55 It will be destroyed just by calling its name. What is it? ●Silence
56 What often comes but never really comes? ●Tomorrow
57 Xiao Wang and his parents traveled abroad for the first time. Due to the language barrier, his parents seemed at a loss. Xiao Wang did not understand any foreign language. He was not deaf-mute, but he seemed to be in his own way. The country has never felt any inconvenience. Why? ●Xiao Wang is a baby
60 There is a natural black marble. On September 7th, what will happen if you throw it into the Qiantang River? ●Sink to the bottom of the river
61 Under what circumstances will a person smoke from his orifices? ●Cremation
63 Why would a healthy couple give birth to a baby without eyes?● Chicken lays an egg
64 Why do two tigers fight to the death? ●No one dares to break up the fight
65 Mr. Lin received an artificial heart after major surgery. After she recovered from the illness, her girlfriend immediately broke up with her. Why did this happen? ●I didn’t really love her
66 You can do it, I can do it, everyone can do it; one person can do it, two people can do it Can't do it together.
What is this doing? ●Dreaming
68 When you come home in the middle of the night and realize that you forgot to bring the key, and there is no one else at home, what is your biggest wish? ● The door is forgotten
69 What are the benefits of having black hair? ●Not afraid of tanning
70 If tomorrow is the end of the world, why do some people want to commit suicide today? ●Go to heaven and get a seat
71 The manager can’t cook, but there is one dish that he is particularly good at. What is it? ●Fired
72 What kind of wine should not be drunk? ●Iodine
73 Why is a bottle of medicine labeled highly toxic but harmless to humans? ●As long as you don’t drink it
74 What can you hit without any effort? ●Doze
75 There is something that people who buy it know, people who sell it also know it, but only people who use it don’t know, what is it? ●Coffin
76 Some people say that a woman is like a book, so what kind of book does a fat woman look like? ●Bound volume
77 What is the difference between being bitten by a crocodile and being bitten by a shark? ●No one knows
79 "Innate" refers to the inheritance of parents, so what is "nurture"? ●The day after tomorrow
80 What are the main causes of divorce? ●Get married
82 How to put a pencil on the ground so that no one can step over it? ●Put it against the wall
83 Why does the Statue of Liberty always stand in New York? Hong Kong? ●She can't sit
84 Why can frogs jump higher than trees? ●Trees don’t jump
85 Is there anything in the world that can carry people at a speed of nearly 2,000 kilometers per hour without refueling or other fuel? ●Earth
86 For fear of losing shape, what do you call a beautiful woman who doesn’t have children after getting married? ●Peerless Beauty
87 Why do black people like to eat white chocolate? ●Afraid of eating one's own fingers
88 Who never dares to take a bath● Clay figurine
89 Why are most Buddhists in the Northern Hemisphere? ●Nan "无" Amitabha
90 What is not illegal to steal?●Smirk
91 Do you know where modern scientists are generally born? ●In the hospital
Why do 92 wild geese fly south? ●Because walking is too slow
- Related articles
- What is a great country craftsman and what is ingenuity?
- Western medicine joke
- Joke chr
- Inter Milan 3:2AC Milan, what do you think of this game! ?
- "Jingshan Pu jade world is rare, shall we? I learned that I didn't meet Bian He. One-day temple Langdon is the first choice. What do you mean, "the price of 1000 yuan is suitable at any time"
- Every time I walk in the street, I feel that someone is watching me. Sometimes I feel that they are smiling at me, and that feeling is ridicule. People who look down on me seem to treat me like dust.
- A joke about twin girlfriends.
- Is it over?
- Do you think it's funny that Stephen Chow plays the prince in Li Mao?
- Tell me about your heartbreak: what you call worth it, looking back is what you deserve.