(Kneeling for help to recommend a funny sketch)

(Props: table, stool, paper, pen, narrator)

Person: President of Student Union (male)

Competitor 1 (male)

Player No.2 (female)

No.3 contestant (female)

Player No.4 (male)

[The chairman sits on the stool and gets up when he speaks]

Principal: Ouch, our school is getting cleaner and cleaner (look around), the corridor is clean, the classroom is clean, and the cleanest thing is that our scene is so clean that there is no applause. ...

President: Today, we held an election campaign for student union cadres, and we ... (interrupted by the number 1

1: I am a soldier, patriotic and loving the people! I sing like Jay Chou, dance like Jolin Tsai, look like yang shen from a distance, and look like Avatar from a distance. One, two, one, I stand like a pine tree. (Step)

President: I think you look like an onion. Hey, what happened to this classmate?

1: Boss, I am the first.

PRESIDENT: Oh, I'm not the boss. I am the president of the student union. By the way, how did you get in?

1: I came in and smelled it.

PRESIDENT: What's that smell?

1: A smell I am familiar with.

PRESIDENT: Hey, so you also like reading very much? (delighted)

1: Ah, no, no! My mother is rubbing her feet in the pedicure center.

PRESIDENT: Is this a smell?

1: Lao .. No, Chairman!

President: Hey, (pretending to be serious) What's your name?

1: willow stem (blue flower finger)

PRESIDENT: Yo, that's a very elegant name. What's your last name?

1: Last name is Qin.

President: (reading aloud while filling in the form) Bird flu, I think I have heard your name somewhere. Alas, classmate, you are still a celebrity.

1: Yes, Madam President, I dare not.

President: Tell me, what are you competing for here?

1: Oh, I'm here to compete for the position of Minister of Women's Department! ~

CHAIRMAN: A Le? You are a boy, competing for the position of minister of women's affairs!

1: Ah, Chairman, you don't know! In ancient Shang Yang's political reform, now the United States is attacking Iraq, seeking differences in everything and innovating in everything. And I always care about girls in all aspects, and girls' problems are my problems! Girls' troubles are my troubles, Madam President! Please help me for the happiness of hundreds of girls in our school!

President: God, the species of animals are decreasing, while the species of people are increasing. You call this "how bold people are and how productive the land is"

1: I can go as far as I want.

PRESIDENT: You can go far now.

1: Well, where are you going?

President: Just go ahead, don't look around, go out and run around the playground for ten times, then turn right when you leave the school gate and run home to the finish line (No.1 ends foolishly).

President: It's really the first time I've met someone who's messing around. Fortunately, I am smart and resourceful. Wow, hahahahahaha (sinister smile) No.2! (2 come with your eyes closed)

2: The foot of my bed shines so brightly, hey! Is there frost already? ! Looking up, I found it was moonlight! Shout down from home! Hey, where's the chairman? The chairman was knocked down. I found that I had gone too far, and the chairman was already behind.

President: (stands up painfully) I'm here. What is this?

2. Talent show. Audience friends, the golden cup and silver cup are not as good as the reputation of the students, the gold medal and silver award are not as good as the praise of the students, and the bear's paw and goose's paw are not as good as the applause of the students!

President: Wow, that's interesting! Say, what are you competing for today?

2: Minister of Literature!

President: OK, how tall are you?

2. Confidentiality

PRESIDENT: Weight?

2. Confidentiality

PRESIDENT: Age?

2. Confidentiality

PRESIDENT: Are you from the Secrecy Bureau? I think it is very appropriate for you to go to the FBI.

2: Wow, hahaha (with a smug face) Sometimes I think so.

President: Seriously, what's your name?

2: Sudan Red

PRESIDENT: Oh, this name is very personal. Since I am a literature department, I will ask you some basic questions. What is your favorite masterpiece?

2. Biography of Water Margin (this word is deliberately pronounced as "Xu")

PRESIDENT: Oh, that word is Hu!

2: Oh, a slip of the tongue! slip of the tongue

PRESIDENT: Tell me which paragraph you like best? Did Lu Tihai hit Kansai or did Lu Shenzhi make a scene in Wutai Mountain? "

2: No, Zhuge Liang versus Ximen Qing.

PRESIDENT: What a mess?

2: Oh, Chairman, let me finish first.

PRESIDENT: Huh?

2: It was a dark and windy night. Suddenly, a horse passed by on the grassland, and Zhuge Liang and his son immediately sat down. Zhuge Liang shouted, Ximen Qing, stop! Your mother wants you to go home for dinner! Ximen Qing sneer at a way, you think you are brother sharp, I don't listen to you! So, a big war began! Ping ping ping ping ping ping ping. Aha! (posing)

PRESIDENT: All right, all right! You stop! I think you are really creative!

2: Of course! If the chairman dares to ask, I dare to say that if the chairman gives me a glass of water, I dare to generate electricity! Students, support my applause!

President: Hey, I'll let you know if you are elected successfully. Go down.

2: Madam President, do you want me or not? Do you want me or not? (End)

PRESIDENT: Hey, ok. Next, number three.

(3) Take to the stage and appear)

3: Susan left Hongtong county ... county, county, county. .

Principal: Hey, hey, classmate! What is this?

3: Answer the voice, ahhh!

PRESIDENT: Turn off the echo!

3: Oh, hello, Chairman! (Bowing)

Chairman: I finally have a polite classmate!

3. Yes, I am ashamed to spend the moon, but I am a wild goose. Talented people are very imposing. Knowing astronomy above and geography below can be described as omniscient, omniscient and omnipotent. (Stop).

President: narcissist.

3. Wow, hahaha (sinister smile, the chairman holding the table in shock)

President: (reluctantly) Do you have any tricks?

3: Of course! After the election, you can never walk out of here alive!

President: (continuing to make a positive decision) What do you mean by unique skills? Okay, okay, what do you want to argue about?

3: Wen Yi, Minister! (Placement position)

President: (vomiting) Oh, I can see at a glance that you have music bacteria. Oh, no, it should be a music fungus.

3: Madam President, this is the music cell.

President: Ah, hehehehehe, wrong, sorry! Tell me what else are you good at?

3: So much. Let me say first, oh, I gave a speech at Peking University before!

PRESIDENT: It's amazing! Where did you study before? Have such a good opportunity to speak at Peking University!

3: Oh, I graduated from Jiaotong University!

Chairman: Shanghai Jiaotong University?

3: No, I was educated by my grandmother, and then I went to North Ham University to give a lecture on the secret recipe of toads in caves. North Ham University is called Peking University for short!

President: Oh, not bad, I haven't seen such a talented person for a long time!

Madam President, with me, the radio listening rate of our school will definitely go up!

PRESIDENT: What can you do?

3: I said, ladies and gentlemen, anyone who can insist on listening to the broadcast of the Ministry of Arts and Culture 100 hours without going to the toilet! Per person 1000 yuan!

Principal: Haha, interesting, classmate.

3: oh oh! ~ Crayon Shinchan Salted Egg Superman Altman!

President: classmate, please tell me your name and home address.

Oh, I am a descendant of Lei Feng, or Ren Lei for short. I live in bed 40 1 16 on the third floor of a mental hospital.

President: poof (one mouthful blood spurts out and falls off the chair)

3: The chairman seems to have passed away, so I'd better go first. I am suspected of killing mainlanders. Don't tell the public security bureau (to the audience). Susan left Hongtong County ... County. . (Floating off the stage)

President: (getting up slowly) It's killing me to recruit several ministers these days.

4: (whistling to see the chairman) Chairman, are you all right? (quickly raises the chairman)

PRESIDENT: Thank you, eh? Are you here to run for office?

4: Yes, Madam President, my name is Feng, and I'm here to run for the post of Minister of Water Resources.

President: Ministry of Water Conservation? Our student union does not have this department. If you go out and turn left, you will see a running fool. You can run with him.

4: Madam President, I really came to run for the post of Minister of Water Resources.

Principal: Classmate, we really don't have this department.

It doesn't matter without this department, just be my minister.

Principal: (Khan) classmate, we really didn't ... (interrupted by 4)

4: You really just need to be a minister.

President: OK, OK, OK. Why do you want to be the Minister of Water Resources?

I want to save water because of the recent increase in water price, so I came to run for water saving minister.

PRESIDENT: What does this have to do with the increase in water prices? To save water, the whole people should participate, and save water ...... (At this time, a man holding a sign "Please don't disturb the chairman during the lecture" came on stage.

Narrator: Thirty minutes later. .......

4: (can't help interrupting the chairman), stop, stop, stop, stop! I'm not as great as you, okay? I just came to the student union to be a minister because the water price has gone up! Please stop nagging!