Ask for some short jokes ~ ~ If they are long, you'd better look at my guess ~ ~

1 Who in the world will suddenly get old?

Answer: the bride. Because today is the bride, tomorrow is the wife.

How much is a heart worth?

Answer: 1 100 million. Because of singleness!

How much do I need to bring when I go out in typhoon weather?

Answer: 40 million. Don't go out because there is nothing to do in typhoon weather.

The exam is coming. What books can't I read?

Answer: Encyclopedia (lose all encyclopedias).

If tomorrow is the end of the world, why should someone commit suicide today?

[Answer] Have a place in heaven

Q: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

Question 7: What is the pencil surname?

A: Xiao.

Reason: Sharpen (sharpen) the pencil.

Q: What will Kirin become when it arrives at the North Pole?

Answer: ice cream.

Reason: ice cream (iced unicorn).

Question 9: From 1 to 9, which number is the most diligent and which number is the laziest?

Answer: 1 lazy; 2 Diligence

Reason: One (1) does not do two (2) endlessly.

10 Question: How to make sparrows quiet?

Answer: Click.

Reason: Silence (silence).

1 1 Question: Who runs fastest in history?

Answer: Cao Cao

Reason: Speak of the devil.

12 question: 30-50 which number is worse than bear shit!

Answer: 40

Reason: Facts speak louder than words.

13 question: what should I do if the pigs in the pigsty run out?

Answer: Wang Leehom.

Reason: to coax.

14 Question: What if I come out again?

The answer is: Han Hong.

Reason: Still coax.

15 September 28th is Confucius' birthday, so what's the date of 10 June 28th?

Answer: Confucius full moon

16 the wolf is coming (guess)?

Answer: carambola (sheep escape)

17 what would the world be like if Chiang Kai-shek were still alive?

Answer: One more person. ...

18 There are carp under these two pieces of ice (four-word idiom)?

Answer: Be polite (there are carp in the ice).

19 why does tofu hurt people?

Answer: Because it is frozen tofu.

A bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why is Xiaoming okay?

A: Because he is not in the car.

2 1 There is a place where you can get in but not out. What is this place?

Answer: the grave

Chickens and geese compete in the 100 meter race. Chickens run faster than geese. Why did you arrive at the terminal later?

Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction.

The bell in the east rang, but there was no one in the classroom. What happened?

Answer: physical education class.

Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but the teacher praised her math as one of the best. Why?

Answer: Count from one to two.

What did Columbus do immediately after he set foot on the New World?

Answer: Take the other foot.

Some people say that eating fish can avoid myopia. Why?

Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wear eyes?

What has no tongue in its mouth?

Answer: teapot mouth

What kind of official doesn't give orders, but always smiles at others?

Answer: Xin Langguan

A policeman ran away when he saw the thief. Why?

Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly.

Xiaoming eats gum every day, but others still say he has bad breath. Why?

A: He swears every day.

Why can frogs jump higher than trees?

Answer: because trees can't jump

"You are standing with a pig", guess an animal.

Answer: I like it (like it)

Lao Wang has to shave forty or fifty times a day and still has a beard on his face. What is the reason?

Answer: Lao Wang is a barber.

What flowers can't be touched

Answer: Spark

What can solve all the mysteries?

Answer: the answer

When will the clock in Times Square ring 13?

Answer: when it is time to repair.

In ancient times, who became a father-in-law first and then a father?

Answer: eunuch

When someone knocks at the door, you will never say come in.

Answer: When going to the toilet.

Is it black-bone chicken or white chicken? Why?

Answer: Black chickens are very powerful. They can lay white eggs, but white chickens can't lay black eggs.

Why does everyone like to sit and watch movies?

Answer: Because it hurts to stand and watch your feet.

4 1 What will be the impact of canceling morning self-study?

Answer: Sleep less for half an hour.

Please race the tortoise and rabbit, and ask the pig to be the referee. Who will win the game?

Answer: I can't say! The person mentioned is a pig …

What are the similarities between what two women said and what a thousand ducks said?

Answer: Nonsense (chicken)

There is a pig and a donkey in the farmer's house. Do you think farmers should kill pigs or donkeys first during the Chinese New Year?

Answer: Would you rather kill the pig (silly pig) or the donkey (donkey)?

Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?

Answer: Because the stars will "flash"

One day, a medium-rare steak was walking in the street. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him. Why don't they say hello?

Answer: Because I am unfamiliar.

1 Who is the king of beasts? ● Zoo director

What kind of person will appear after death? ● The characters in the movie

What hat can't I wear? ● Nut

What books are not available in bookstores? ● suicide note

What is the elephant's left ear like? ● Right ear

What water will never be used up? ● Tears

What has five heads, but people don't find it strange? ● Hands and feet

The family asked the doctor about the patient. The doctor only put up five fingers and the family cried. What is the reason? ● Three long and two short.

Put a chicken and a goose on the iceberg at the same time. Why is the chicken dead and the goose not dead? ● Goose is penguin.

10 What English letters do people like to listen to best? ● CD

1 1 What is the secret of longevity? Keep breathing, don't die.

12 The angrier things get, the bigger things get. ● Temper

13 What are the flowers that bloom all year round? ● Plastic flowers

14 Why does Chang 'e like living on the moon? Chang 'e loves rabbit meat.

15 where is the narrowest road? The road to go is very narrow.

/kloc-what's the name of farting before 0/6? ● Unique voice

17 When someone knocks at the door, you will never say come in? ● In the toilet.

18 What is the smallest island in the world? ● Safety island on the road

19 where is the safest place when the earth explodes? ● Hell

A group of henpecked men got together to discuss how to revive men's glory. Suddenly, they heard that their wife was coming, and everyone fled everywhere, but only one didn't run. Why? Low frighten fainted.

2 1 What's in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? ● It is a flat figure.

What word is universal? ● Arabic numerals

A child and an adult are walking in the dark. The child is the son of an adult, but the adult is not the father of the child. Why? ● Because they are mother-child relationship.

Two fathers and sons went to buy hats. Why did they only buy three hats? Grandpa, father and son

Why can't a hammer hammer eggs? Of course, the hammer won't break.

A man was chased by a tiger and suddenly a big river appeared in front of him. He can't swim, but he passed. Why? ● Faint.

What easily knocked down the 27th World Boxing Champion? ● Sleep.

There was once a lady who divorced several times and played a four-character idiom? ● Exhausted (abandoned) former public office (work)

What do stutterers suffer most from? ● Make long-distance calls.

What did Columbus do immediately after he set foot on the New World? Step on the other foot.

3 1 Is "kiss" a verb, adjective or noun? ● Conjunction

After the failure of heart exchange surgery, the doctor asked the dying patient what his last words were. Guess what he would say? In fact, you don't understand my heart.

Why do men have to fight when drinking together? ● Don't eat hard food.

34 Divide 8 in half. What is it? ●0

When does the sun rise in the west? When swearing.

There is a newborn baby, born on the same day of the same year and the same month, and two children with the same parents, but not twins. Is this possible? Maybe, they are triplets.

What is the first thing everyone should do when they wake up in the morning? ● Open your eyes

A new hospital has been opened in this city, with advanced equipment and thoughtful service. But the strange thing is: there are no patients here. Why? This is a veterinary hospital.

In winter, how can ice be turned into water immediately without heating? ● Remove two points of ice.

A hungry cat walked past a fat mouse. Why did the hungry old cat leave without looking at the mouse? A blind cat meets a dead mouse.

4 1 Why do peacocks fly southeast instead of northwest? Because there are high walls in the northwest.

A truck driver collided with a motorcyclist. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was fine. Why? ● At that time, the truck driver did not drive.

Xiaoming's mother has three sons. The oldest son is Daming, the second is Er Ming, and what's the name of the third son? Xiao Ming, of course.

There is a young man who wants to do business in the river. However, there are no boats or bridges in this river. So he swam across the river in the morning, and it only took him an hour to swim to the other side. In the afternoon, the width and velocity of the river did not change. More importantly, his swimming speed did not change, but it took him two and a half hours to swim to the other side. Why do you think it is? Two and a half hours add up to an hour.

There is a big ship at sea. Its initial capacity is 60 people. As a result, when I reached the 59th person, I actually sank into the sea! That's why (there are no pregnant and overweight people on board; There is no weight on board? Relax, it's a submarine.

What is unknown, you don't know and I know? ● The sole is broken.

There are two people, one facing south and the other facing north. They are not allowed to look back, walk or look in the mirror. Can they see each other's faces? Of course, they stood face to face.

What kind of eggs can't be broken, boiled or eaten? ● The test score is zero "0"

Which is more painful, starting with coconut or watermelon? I have a headache.

What is the difference between Confucius and Mencius? ● Confucius' son is on the left. Mencius' son is on it.

5 1 What can I borrow without returning it? ● Sorry.

What was the first animal you saw when you entered the zoo? ● Conductor

What can't a magnifying glass enlarge? ● Angle

What will increase by half after handstand? ●6

You will destroy it by calling its name. What is this? ● Silence

What comes often, but never really comes? ● Tomorrow

When Xiao Wang and his parents traveled abroad for the first time, their parents seemed at a loss because of the language barrier. Xiao Wang doesn't know any foreign languages and he is not deaf, but he has never felt any inconvenience like in his own country. Why? Xiao Wang is a baby.

How do I write the scarlet letter with a blue pen? Write a "red"

When the car turns right, which tire does not turn? ● Spare tire

There is a natural black marble. What will happen if it is thrown into Qiantang River on September 7th? ● Sink into the river bottom

6 1 Under what circumstances will people burst into tears? ● Cremation

Fox is best at confusing men, so which "fine" men and women are fascinated together? ● Alcohol

Why did a healthy couple give birth to a baby without eyes? ● Chicken lays eggs

Why do two tigers have to fight to the death before giving up? No one dares to stop fighting.

Mr. Lin changed an artificial heart after major surgery. After she got well, her girlfriend broke up immediately. Why? ● Never really loved her.

You can do it, I can do it, everyone can do it; One person can do it, but two people can't. What is this for? ● Dreaming

Is black-bone chicken more powerful or white chicken more powerful? Why? ● Black-bone chicken, black-bone chicken can lay white eggs, and white chicken can't lay black eggs.

When you come home in the middle of the night, only to find that you forgot your key and there is no one else at home, what is your greatest wish? I forgot to lock the door.

What are the benefits of black hair? ● Not afraid of tanning

If tomorrow is the end of the world, why should someone commit suicide today? A seat in heaven.

Manager 7 1 can't cook, but there is a dish that is particularly good at. What is this? ● Fired.

What wine can't be drunk? ● Iodine

Why is a bottle of medicine marked highly toxic harmless to people? As long as you don't drink.

You don't need to work hard at typing. ● doze off

Some things, both buyers and sellers know, only users don't know. What is this? ● Coffin

Some people say that a woman is like a book, so what book is a fat woman like? ● bound volume

What's the difference between being bitten by a crocodile and being bitten by a shark? Nobody knows.

A cow, go north 10 m, go west 10 m, go south 10 m, turn right and ask where the cow's tail faces. ● Facing the ground

"Innate" refers to the inheritance of parents, so what is "acquired"? the day after tomorrow

What are the main reasons for divorce? ● Get married

8 1 9 oranges were distributed to 13 children. How to divide it fairly? Squeeze into juice

How to put the pencil on the ground so that others can't draw it? Low on the wall.

Why does the Statue of Liberty always stand in new york Harbor? She can't sit.

Why can frogs jump higher than trees? ● Trees can't jump

Is there anything in the world that can carry people at a speed close to 2000 km/h without refueling or other fuels? ● Earth

What is the name of a beautiful woman who is afraid of losing her figure and not having children after marriage? ● Beauty

Why do blacks like to eat white chocolate? ● Afraid of eating fingers.

88 Who is always afraid to take a bath ● Clay figurine

Why are Buddhists mostly in the northern hemisphere? ● South "no" Amitabha.

Stealing is not illegal. ● Sneak

9 1 Do you know where modern scientists are usually born? ● In the hospital

Why do geese fly south? ● Because walking with your feet is too slow.

Winter melon, cucumber, watermelon and pumpkin can all be eaten, but what melon can't be eaten? ● Fool

There are 6 steamed buns in 94 pots, which are given to 6 children each 1, but there is still 1 in the pot. Why? ● The last child takes the basin together.

Lao Wang has to shave forty or fifty times a day, but he still has a beard. What is the reason? Lao Wang is a barber.

There is a word that everyone will mispronounce when they see it. What's this word? This is the word "wrong"

97 what car can't move? ● Windmill

Xiaoming got a model student instead of studying. Why is Xiaoming a deaf-mute student?

How many sides does the box have? ● Two sides. internally and externally

100 which month has 28 days? ● There are 28 days in each month.