Day23 Learn to write a considerate mother-in-law

I have been married for 15 years and experienced two seven-year itch. In the past 15 years, there have been many small quarrels and stumbling blocks. Every time, danger is turned into safety, and conflicts into friendship, thanks to the mother-in-law's gentle handling.

No matter whose fault it was, the mother-in-law criticized her daughter first, which made her feel extremely wronged and unable to complain. I was secretly having fun on the sidelines, making a face and jokingly telling my wife: The goods have been sold and will not be returned. Sometimes, I would also beg for mercy and say: We are already so old, but we still have to complain to our parents (face covering expression) and let our parents worry because I have not yet been weaned.

Couples are like hedgehogs. When they are in love, both parties hide their thorns. Hello, I am good, everyone is good. After getting married, both sides are exposed, you stab me and I stab you. The contrast between before and after marriage, use a joke: before marriage, you are a pug, after marriage, you are a big wolfdog. ("Before marriage, you were like a pug, begging for mercy, stumbling around, rushing to do things to show off"; "after marriage, you were a big wolf dog, impatient, always yelling at people, not washing shoes and socks, and not cooking").

Why does the mother-in-law only criticize her own daughter and less often criticize her son-in-law?

1. Blood and family ties, blood is thicker than water, breaking bones and connecting tendons. He will not hold grudges when his own children are beaten and scolded. Even if their children contradict their parents, the parents will not hold grudges. It is all the flesh that fell from their parents. A son-in-law born to other parents must be treated with courtesy. Of course, the daughter-in-law should also be criticized if she does something wrong.

2. Conducive to family happiness. As the saying goes: It is better to demolish ten temples than to destroy one relationship. The happiness of their children is the greatest joy for parents. Criticism prompts children to reflect, and couples should be considerate and tolerant of each other. If you are ignorant and support your children's impulsive behavior, your work will be divided.

3. It is easy to change yourself, but difficult to change others. The mother-in-law's concept has been completely overturned: all children are her own good and her own right. It is not good to point one finger at the other party, but it is not good to have four fingers pointed at oneself. Every time the mother-in-law criticizes her daughter, I feel ashamed and make my parents worry again.

The husband and wife each review their responsibilities for the family, and both share the responsibility for housework and educating the children. If you have different opinions, communicate calmly. Even if there is a quarrel, the wrong party should take the initiative to admit it. If the other party does not admit his mistake, he should take the initiative to show weakness, ease the tension, and continue to live happily.

We rural people often say: The key to whether your uncle is good or not depends on whether your aunt is good or not. I want to say: The key to whether a couple's relationship is good or not depends on the attitude of the mother-in-law. Mother-in-law will pass on her housekeeping experience to her daughter.

In the same way, as a mother-in-law, you should also treat your daughter-in-law well. Your daughter-in-law is your daughter, and you should not be indifferent, critical, or instigating. Because the mother-in-law has worked hard to raise her daughter until she is in her 20s, there will be a process of getting used to it when marrying into her husband's family, and she must accept her daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law gives birth to children for the family and works hard to make a living together. The young couple had a conflict and criticized their son, asking him to admit his mistakes to his daughter-in-law.

If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense, the son has the responsibility. Mother-in-laws should also not be arrogant or show off to their daughter-in-law, otherwise it will easily lead to the retaliatory consequences of "the daughter-in-law finally became a mother-in-law." If you want a harmonious family, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should understand and respect each other and run the family with sincerity.

I am grateful to have met a considerate mother-in-law.