My daughter-in-law is restrained in front of me. How can I make her relax?

Before answering this question, let me tell you something about my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and then briefly talk about my own experience for your reference.

My daughter-in-law and I have been married for almost a year and a half, and the relationship between my daughter-in-law and my mother has changed from being unfamiliar at the beginning, even a little stiff, to a harmonious and free situation now.

First of all, my mother seldom intervenes in our little couple's affairs. She thinks that we are all grown up and capable of making many decisions for ourselves. Besides, if I quarrel with my wife, no matter right or wrong, my mother will basically stand on my daughter-in-law's side and help her speak. Although I sometimes think it's not my fault, I'm not angry because of my mother's scolding, because I know she is helping us maintain the harmony of our small family.

Secondly, the mother respects her daughter-in-law. For example, when I gave gifts to her family during the Spring Festival last year, my mother always asked me to ask my daughter-in-law for advice first, and then take her advice as the standard. For the child's upbringing, the mother will not give much advice, mainly unknown "assistance."

Also, if her daughter-in-law did something wrong, she never mentioned it to her face before, but let me act as a bridge between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law through me (of course, now I communicate by myself, and I don't need to do anything, which is also euphemistic, for fear that I am too tired).

What impressed me deeply was that the daughter-in-law basically didn't "shout" when she went home for the New Year. My mother returned this question to me and I told her. Later, I learned that the reason why my daughter-in-law didn't say hello was because she didn't know how to address people and was afraid of calling them wrong. I explained the situation to my mother again. My mother said it doesn't matter if she is wrong. In the future, they will be called uncles and aunts (the elders in the family). After that, my daughter-in-law was like this. Although she shouted wrong and made some jokes, no one cared.

In addition, mothers usually let the society take the initiative to communicate with their daughter-in-law and ask her some questions (online shopping, online payment, etc. ). Two people get along like this, and the relationship is naturally getting closer and closer. Now I have been with them when I go shopping, and they have become "good girlfriends".

So, if you want your daughter-in-law to let go in front of you, I suggest three things: first, don't interfere too much in their lives; Second, respect each other and give your daughter-in-law enough care; Third, communicate more, be approachable and not condescending.

Man is a perceptual creature. As long as you put your heart and soul into it, the other party will see them and treat you sincerely slowly. Although this can't guarantee that you are as close as mother and daughter, at least you can be good friends.