56 sentences about teasing _ Absolute Classics

1 You have your background and I have my story. It's not difficult, but don't touch it

Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain, except one male and one female.

The failure of others is my happiness.

The world is bigger than what you lack.

Me Before You, my world is black and white. After knowing you, wow, it's all black.

If you need me, please shout!

8 can't reach it, can it? Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot.

Being a woman of one person is happier than being the goddess of all people.

10 elder brother was a virgin for 24 years, and finally last night ... it became 25 years.

A gentleman is just a patient wolf.

12 days, did you let summer and winter live together? This kind of weather!

13 mom says people had better not miss two things, the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

14 Wife is tasteless, lover is too tired, and young lady is too expensive. It is better to have a reunion and break up a couple!

15 Although it is interesting to have a new mistress, it is better to have old friends.

16 Being in love is like sneezing. You can always bump into it inadvertently, but you can't bump into it if you want to.

17 why do friends always stay together and bite, but think about it after a while!

18 I can't catch up with that BMW after all, so I can only watch it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

19 You have so many pimples on your face that you will roll over when driving a tractor.

I can't talk. I stutter when I see a lot of people, like a sheep shitting. Please forgive me if it doesn't taste like you.

2 1 Cui Yongyuan natto is a kind of food, and people believe that eating it can treat cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases.

All love can't be caged, an almond is out of the wall.

23 is 10 girl show 9, 9 shows 8 silk, 8 silk 7 black, 7 black 6 transparent, 6 transparent 5 thick, 5 thick 4 coquettish, 4 coquettish 3 ugly, 3 ugly 2 fishing nets, 2 fishing nets 1 broken.

There will be a day when diaosi will attack back, when auricularia auricula has no powder back.

It only takes two new kinds of happiness and time to forget someone.

When the college entrance examination results came out, the teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said to me: In fact, it is a kind of happiness for you and the university.

If you understand peace, you can understand life.

Losing weight is an eternal topic. If someone next to you insists on not standing up, look at weighing scale.

Correct mentality: point back and don't blame society. It's hard to blame the government. No money, you can't blame member d.

The fox is not demon, sexy and not coquettish.

3 1 Women conquer men with stockings, and men conquer banks with stockings.

I have never seen such a beautiful female lawyer. I will be very happy as your client.

You are more capable of revealing people's shortcomings than a mirror, more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi and more resourceful than a grandson, so everyone affectionately calls you "the grandson of Jingzhuang".

34 days! The world is so crazy, mice are mothers to cats!

35 inspiration is not Cao Cao, just say it ~

It is not necessarily a virgin who cries and hurts, but a bitch who seduces a man.

I hate Qin Shihuang. He didn't finish burning the book.

Question: Why must summer vacation be longer than winter vacation? Answer: Because it expands with heat and contracts with cold!

If you ignore me, I will become a steamed stuffed bun. And it is the most famous in Tianjin.

People who hang up QQ all day these days have nothing to do but go to work, that is, people who are not loved after work.

4 1 You should be a bad boy, don't read too much, don't listen to too many mistakes, just do what you like!

Birthday is a stage, a test and an opportunity.

When in love, men will make more use of this;

After marriage, women will take advantage of this.

There is a saying that Huashan has a road since ancient times.

This road on the mountain, down the mountain or this road, if there is another road, it is free fall.

If you love her, dress her in a wedding dress and strip her naked.

There may be several women who don't eat, and none who are not jealous.

A slip of the tongue is accidentally telling the truth.

I went back to my original place just to find my original face and put on my present mask.

Cover your crotch and respect others' crotch.

We haven't eaten for days. Everyone looks like pancakes.

How can you roll in bed without passionate kissing?

5 1 said my sister was beautiful, but it was all made up.

Man next door finally vowed to lose weight.

At the graduation job fair, someone said to him: Sorry, buddy, you are blocking my cell phone signal.

53 drive Audi, wear Dior, and eat Oreo if you have nothing to do.

There is no such thing as empathy. People don't know how painful it is to prick themselves with a needle.

My minimum goal: farmer, mountain spring, a little field; My highest struggle route: I want to be Nobel or Forbes.

When I got up in the morning, I thought I had grown taller overnight, but I found myself covered with a quilt.

Humorous words

Humorous words

1, you are very happy to drag a pig shopping. I said sympathetically, "It depends on who he is with." Before I finished, I saw the pig abandon you with disdain!

You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come into the world to find the other half. I finally found you, only to find that our wings are smooth.

Occasionally forgetting doesn't mean eternity. When busy, faint thoughts linger in my heart; On the lonely journey, please accept my sincere care and sincere blessing; Miss you, invite me to dinner!

Since I met you, you should know your position in my heart. Except you, everyone else is a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different, because you are, two piles of shit.

5. If it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime, and it is really difficult to be a human being. But you're fine. You are right and innocent. I really envy you!

6. Men should love their wives more, be kind to their children, be filial to their parents, be loyal to their friends, be careful about their work and be hard on themselves. After reading it, please hit your head with your mobile phone!

7. Top secret document of the 16th National Congress: In order to improve the quality of the people, the State Council decided to sweep away a group of ugly and incompetent young people. You should pack your things and go out for a while. Don't thank me. Let's go! Be safe!

8. The weather is hot and cold. In this season, I feel calm and always miss you far away. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to your place every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: pull a shit on your head!

9. I miss you day and night. I always want to carve a fantasy. Pay attention to the line of sight during the day and meet you in the dream at night. My thoughts revolve around you. Why don't you come to me-5 million!

10, in order to thank our friends for their kindness, we now offer a one-day weekend tour, with a full bus ride. Activities include cleaning the floor and kitchen of my house, scrubbing the toilet, washing clothes and bedding, and providing lunch for 2 10 people. Sign up as soon as possible!

1 1. On behalf of the CPC Central Committee, the State Council, the National People's Congress, the Central Military Commission and the offices of Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan, I strongly protest to you: Why didn't Taiwan Province Province appear on the map of China that you left after wetting the bed last night? ! ! Remember to make it up tonight.

12, a fly mother and son are eating. The son frowned and asked his mother, "Mom, why do we eat shit every day?" Mother said, "Don't say such disgusting things when eating, eat while it's hot!" " "

13, one monk has to carry water and two monks have to carry water. The classic story is unforgettable and deeply imprinted in my heart. Now, there is also a temple in the mountain, and there is also an old man in the temple, but the old man is smirking with his mobile phone.

14. Come on, wake up! Say hello to dispel a little loneliness! A greeting warms a heart! A blessing, touched by a concern! Nothing, comfort a hesitation! A short message woke a pig!

15, a cricket bet a pig that I jumped into the grass and you couldn't see me. The pig said, I want to see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why is the pig still watching?

16. Friendship means a lot to me. I cry when you cry, and I laugh when you laugh. When you jump from a tall building, I will stick my head out without hesitation: "Wow, it's strange not to die!" "

17, someone told me that it is the noblest thing to send text messages to the most talented, healthy, honest and kind people; On second thought, I think this person must be yours! If you feel the same way, please give me one!

18, I haven't seen you for a while, I really miss you! Are you okay over there? Does the tiger bully you? Does the lion scare you? Did the tourists throw anything at you? Are you used to reading the short messages of two little hooves on your mobile phone?

19, don't be discouraged when you encounter setbacks. (Classic sentence) Work hard, strive to have backbone in the upper reaches, avoid being upset, live an optimistic life, and don't vent in crowded places.

20. I really miss you! I call dawn at night, and the stars in the sky know my heart. I only have you in my heart! How can thousands of waters in Qian Shan stop my love for you! I really miss you, dear ... RMB!

2 1, the most romantic thing is to walk slowly with you, look at the 80-year-old man, and gently accompany grandma on the roadside; The happiest thing is to walk slowly with you and watch your cheerful gait. This is my enjoyment! Run away again, my pet dog!

22. With you, I forget to eat and sleep. Without you, I don't think about tea and rice. I'm a little worried without you. Without you, I am wholeheartedly. Without you, I have nothing to do and a hateful game.

According to your date of birth, you are sure to make a fortune in the near future. Please follow the secret immediately: blow-dry your hair, wear patched clothes, walk along the street with a stick in your right hand and a bowl in your left hand, chanting a spell: Come on!

24. No one can understand the sadness of this city except the wind; No one will see the ending of this story, except the rain; No one is worth worrying about and following except you; Dear, I want to say to you: it's time to pay back the money!

25. Judging from your almond eyes, cherry mouth, Liu Yeer's curved eyebrows, slender hands, tall figure, charming curves and beautiful face, you must have a complete face!

26. I can't help thinking about you. I only rely on images to pin my love for you. Don't laugh at my infatuation with you, just because of that wise saying-life is never shit, leave a photo as toilet paper!

Thank you for listening to my complaints, because with you, I can get rid of all the unhappiness! Thank you for accompanying me through every minute. Because of you, my life is no longer lonely! Wang Cai, I can't live without you.

28. Being your friend for so long, you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you. So, in the next life, I will definitely pull weeds for you.

29. The next step is to witness the miracle. Press the page turn key and you will smile. Press it twice and you will giggle; Press it three times, and you will laugh happily; Click four times, congratulations, a fool was born!

30. What should I do if I am thirsty? Go for a walk by the sea; What should I do if I am hungry? Come to the hot pot to rinse; What if I have no money? Find a fool to cheat; What if you have no guts? Go to the cemetery to practice; What should I do if I miss you? So send a text message and try it.

3 1, without Pangu, the evolution of apes is hopeless; Without Oracle bones as letterhead, history would be lifeless; Without Daiyu and Baoyu, how could the Red Mansion be circulated for a hundred years? I didn't send you a message. Who knew pigs could read mobile phones?

Starting tomorrow, the city has decided to drive away all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

When I met God that day, he said that he would grant me a wish. I said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult to handle. I took out your photo, hoping that he would make you more beautiful. God took your photo and said, "Take the globe, and I'll have another look." .

Classic humorous quotations _ humorous words _ incisive sentences

There are too many people in 1, and too few people can realize their shortcomings.

The wind is rustling and the water is cold. Pay back the money you owe!

The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

What is the most painful thing in people's life, that is, people are not dead and money is gone!

Go shopping when you are bored, and take out the garbage that others throw into the trash can and throw it on the ground.

I heard that getting married is very cheap now, and the Civil Affairs Bureau has settled it for 9 yuan. Let me treat you!

It is a kind of beauty for a woman to make up before the age of 30, and a virtue for a woman to make up after the age of 30!

What do you do when you have sex? Who do you mate with? Yuanyang played with water, and all his mother drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.

It is better to go home and sell sweet potatoes than to be the master of the people.

10 Give me some sunshine, and I will rot.

1 1 Everyone is primitive at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates.

12 is just a gust of wind, but it is so eternal, just a dream, but it is so real. You bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally can't help but say to you: please tell me next time you fart.

13 days is blue and the sea is deep. Men's words are rarely true.

14 where there are beautiful women, there are fantasies; Where there are illusions, there are hooligans!

15 helpless, helpless. Actually, I'm not useless.

I have many advantages to list and state.

But I don't know why, but I can't get the respect and support of others.

16 I tried to close myself, just like the stone I was holding tightly, in order to throw it further!

17 thoughts are like underwear. You should, but you can't prove it to everyone.

18 You're not old after running around brothels. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

19 is a hero, a talent and a fool.

Men are all lower-body animals. Those men keep telling you to give you happiness for the rest of your life, but what they mean is to give you happiness for the lower body.

2 1 If the left hand is tired, change to the right hand.

I would rather sacrifice the last virgin in China than leave any Japanese virgin!

Big head and thick neck, either the boss or the cook!

There is no rehearsal in life, every moment is live.

From the age of 20 to 32, the most important year in life is 12. The goals are wife, children, house, car, tickets and face.

A woman is a sister-in-law if she mixes well, and a bitch if she doesn't.

If marriage is the grave of love, then the annual wedding anniversary celebration is to sweep the grave.

A man's lies can deceive a woman for one night, and a woman's lies can deceive a man for a lifetime.

It's not that I'm obsessed with legends, but they're so beautiful.

I'll help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve.

3 1 The cruelty of life lies in that after being exploited by capitalists, his wife will also exploit all economic values. ...

I smoked countless times until I vomited. Drive into a tree and walk slowly on the dance floor. Everyone thinks you are cool, but you can't walk when you see a beautiful woman.

I'd rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

I really want to become a monk, but there are always things I can't let go of. I don't have a girlfriend yet.

When two people are together, people will spread rumors, just like two branches are close together, and spiders will hang nets.

A bad guy is worthy of good looks, otherwise he can't be a bad guy.

Marriage is a banquet. The better the dishes are cooked, the more dishes are washed.

38 near stupidity is stupid, near wisdom is wisdom, near poverty is poor, and near wealth is expensive.

There is no woman's trouble. If you meet a bad man and want to escape, if you meet a good man, you will be eliminated.

The most hateful thing is that our favorite ice cream is made like shit and specially circled for you.

4 1 Some people say that I don't believe in savages, which really wronged me.

I know there are many barbarians now. Some barbarians became scientists, others became judges.

Of course, most barbarians are acting as hosts.

What is the money coming out? Just ask a bitch to kill herself.

43 years as an official, once something happens, it's all over.

If you go first, don't blame me for ignoring you.

Love is like playing basketball. Grab it desperately, chase it desperately, and throw it out without hesitation when you get it.

There are only two kinds of men: one is lewd and the other is very lewd!

How can you roll in bed without a passionate kiss?

You play with your customization and I play with my formatting.

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

Advertising is to tell others that money can still be spent like this.

5 1 Give you some sunshine and you will be brilliant, give you some flood and you will flood. I'll make the old lady wear a red mouth and give you some color to see see.

52. useless pride: being a useless person is better than being a stable. At least no one shit on his head.

53. The nun rings the bell every day, and the Buddha says: depravity is rebirth. I'm going to fall. Be quiet ~ I'll strangle you when I wake up.

Taking off clothes is an animal, and wearing clothes is the devil.

Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it, but few people see it.

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, even if I don't smash you, I will live in vain.

Four years ago, if a girl lost her temper with me inexplicably, I would quietly want to calm down. She came to Daima.

Four years later, if another girl loses her temper with me inexplicably, I will quietly want to calm down. She must not have come on time.

A good reputation is a woman's best dowry.

When spring comes, a flock of wild geese fly north, one is B-shaped and the other is T-shaped.

60 three points are doomed, seven points depend on hard work, and love to fight will win a dime.

6 1 children are considering genetic and environmental issues.

Mom interjected: This question is very simple. As we all know, children who look like their fathers are inherited. Like neighbors, that is the environment.

You have no brain, or you have mold in your brain! !

Don't talk to me about life, quit!

A first-class man has a home outside his home;

There are flowers outside the second-class men's house;

Third-class men find a home in flowers;

Fourth-class men come home from work;

The wife of a fifth-class man is not at home;

A sixth-class man has no wife and no home.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, so don't go to the unit to find it. There are few people in the unit, not to mention the poor quality.

Today, white-collar workers got paid, paid rent, utilities, bought oil, rice and instant noodles, felt the money left in their pockets and sighed: alas! This month's salary is white-collar again!

Please don't disturb while taking a bath. Please buy tickets for voyeurism, 40 for individuals and 20 for groups. Booking phone: I won't say anything about ordinary people!

Flowers are red, and people are different from dogs.

Men fool women and call it flirting; Women fool men to seduce; Men and women are fooled by love.

Life is not a dance company, and there is no version that loves life.

7 1 A company is recruiting, and the English name of the next girl to interview is spring.

The secretary wanted to take the opportunity to show off her English level and shouted: Hi! That man named Chun, it's your turn!

As the saying goes, a man is a man and would rather die than surrender; But as the saying goes, a man can bend and stretch.

The strength of the 73rd hostess is irresistible to ordinary people.

Complete love exists between two hearts and two legs.

One scandal is that when you take an ugly girl on a trip, you will hear what people around you say.

War: if you can't untie it with your tongue, bite it with your teeth!

Brother 77 is just a game, but you are fascinated.

78 yuan is not a problem, but there is no money.

Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

Blind date is distribution, love is direct selling, and throwing hydrangeas to attract relatives is bidding.

8 1 I am always by your side, worrying about you again and again. Are you full today?

Did you sleep well?

Will it be cold late at night?

I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty.

The road to success is paved with goals, big goals are more useful than no goals, and small goals are more useful than big goals. If you don't work hard now, you will work hard in the future.

It is not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose.

Failure is the mother of success, and success is the mother of failure.

85 people looked for her for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still shrugged off me.

When you put on the wedding dress, I also put on the cassock ~ ~

You are gold, I am coal, you will shine, I will be hot. Don't mess with me, or I will melt you.

It is an idiom story that the old lady grinds the iron pestle into a needle, and it is an adult story that the young man grinds the needle into an iron pestle.

You must eat a little properly to lose weight.

I study, work, live and live like a person on purpose!

9 1 Being single is understanding, falling in love is wrong, breaking up is consciousness, getting married is wrong, and divorce is completely realized! No lover is a waste, but many lovers are animals!

The accountant says to you: Come and get paid later, I have no change now.

It's all fake. I have to pretend to be experienced.

People who are close to pigs are fat, and those who are close to urine are coquettish.

68 funny teasing quotations _ teasing friends

1 The boy is really crazy, and his breath is bigger than beriberi.

Stab a friend in the back and a woman in the back.

Come quickly when you rob a bank, remember to put socks on your head, and you'd better buy Langsha brand.

4 hate me. It's okay. I don't mind. I don't live to please you.

You laugh that I am different from you, and I laugh that you are all the same.

The sweat and tears you shed today are all caused by the water in your head.

Don't hang yourself on a tree, try to find more trees.

Your shameless appearance has my youthful charm.

You are handsome and handsome, and everyone loves you. You must be the best among scum, the animal among beasts and the fighter among rubbish. Oh yeah!

10 I like that you take the initiative to find me, so I believe you won't bother me.

1 1 Which school did you graduate from? Your annoying degree has been completed as a postdoctoral fellow! !

12 I'm not super Mary. I can't support the RMB you want.

13 Some students' heads should not exceed the intersection angle.

14 After the first kiss, the woman will regard this kiss as an investment, and the man will regard it as a loan to be recovered.

15 God created virgins and I created women.

16 Some people always want to let God know when they do good things, and always want to let ghosts know when they do bad things.

17 Let's get married for a better divorce!

18 The bedside table of a couple is actually a condiment of life, especially for women.

But sometimes, it's not that I don't want to talk, but that I'm a little sleepy. ...

19 everyone says that being a man is very tired, and I feel the same way.

Put on a wig, a mask, glasses and smile.

Put on underwear, coat, coat, underwear, trousers and belt.

Put on socks, shoes and shoelaces every day until you go to heaven.

Go your own way and let the cat and dog talk.

2 1 I want to serve the people, but I can't serve all the people, nor can I serve all the people;

I want to serve people like my relatives, friends, acquaintances and beautiful women.

I'm busy enough. How can I have the energy to serve others and serve others?

It is difficult for rich people to have no money.

A woman kissing a man is a kind of happiness, and a man kissing a woman is a kind of luck.

This world is different from other worlds. As long as it is an official, there is a way.

I am not a casual person; But once you get up casually, you are not a person.

Zhu Yuanzhang is my uncle. Call him out and ask!

I can't close the garden in spring, so I pull an almond out of the wall.

In this life, are you here to borrow money or pay off debts?

What is the way to come out? The sage said: waste.

A man can have sex with whoever he wants as long as he has money.

3 1 Today is a majestic rooster, and tomorrow it may become a feather duster with complete discredit.

Not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but afraid to open the lid and have a surprise, enjoy one more bottle.

Money makes the mare go.

Sorry is a kind of sincerity, it doesn't matter, it's a kind of grace.

If you give your heart, but you can't get grace, it can only show the ignorance and vulgarity of the other party!

Think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.

36 college students = eat+sleep+fall in love with pigs = eat+sleep, so college students = pigs+fall in love with more college students-fall in love with pigs = that is, college students don't fall in love with pigs.

Hello: Today is International Women's Day. On behalf of the International Women's Federation, I officially inform you that all women's toilets and bathrooms are open to you free of charge. Please come here.

Motto of non-drinkers: Eat your own food and let others vomit.

39 Low-key people In the real world, low-key guys are the most attractive.

I am young and need your advice, but I don't need your advice.

4 1 Thanks to my figure, I can travel around the world even if I am bloated.

Not afraid of opponents like God, but afraid of teammates like rogue rabbits.

You have a big chest and no brain.

It's better than a small chest and no brain.

It takes ten thousand years from monkey to human, and only one bottle of wine is needed from human to monkey ~

You go! Go as far as possible, please don't pester me, I really can't stand you,

You will only bring me harm. The better you treat me, the more painful I am.

Fly away, dead mosquito!

Everyone says I'm an actor, because my eyes roll at the sight of beautiful mm.

I am poor, and so are my servants, gardeners and drivers.

48 when work and love are not going well, you can take out your little brother, stare at it and meditate on its spirit:

It can be long or short, thick or thin, extensible or bendable, soft or hard. Learn it, and the immediate difficulty is a bird!

49. A woman chooses a gesture that makes her life irreplaceable.

As long as your feet are on the ground, don't look down on yourself; As long as you live on earth, don't take yourself too seriously.

5 1 I will have a son with a handsome name, so others will say handsome dad when they see me.

52 people can't judge a book by its cover, and a small night can't be measured.

I must appear in your household registration book. I can't be your husband, but I can also be your little father.

In love, someone dies; In marriage, some people regard death as death.

I don't look down on you, but I don't care about you at all.

It is not necessarily a good thing for everyone to stand on one side, such as standing on the side of the boat.

57 men are used to rely on, so be reliable; Women are meant to love, so be cute.

Many people love someone by mistake because of loneliness, but more people are lonely all their lives because of loving someone by mistake.

Smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart.

I am in the Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in the Jianghu.

6 1 true love is like a UFO-only heard of it, never seen it. Even if I did, 99.9% of them were fake. If you really meet that 0. 1%, then congratulations, you have found an alien!

The highest state of eating buffet: help the wall in, help the wall out.

Men who have one-night stands are romantic, while women who have one-night stands are lewd.

Next time I meet you, I will definitely pull you to the bedroom and lock the door.

Quickly push you down on the bed, cover your head with a quilt, and stretch out my big hand.

Look, my mobile phone is blue.

There is an dissatisfied wife behind a man who has a lot of entertainment, and a super dissatisfied wife behind a man who has no entertainment at all.

Corrupt officials are everywhere, spending money like water.

Don't fall in love with me, hypocrisy! Get married if you can!

If I give you a pair of wings, you should be braised.