Ten jokes

My wife went out to collect debts and returned empty-handed a few months later.

The husband said angrily, "You are really incompetent!"

The wife said disapprovingly, "although I didn't get the money, the boss's child was taken hostage by me!" " "

The husband was overjoyed and asked, "Where are you?" The wife patted her belly and said, "It's locked inside!"

3、

The deskmate changed the QQ name to "before your father died" and added our class teacher.

So the class teacher's QQ often prompts:

Your father asked to be your friend before he died.

Your father invited you to play in the parking space before he died.

Your father gave you a QQ show before he died.

Your father stole your food before he died.

Your father reported you before he died.

Your father forwarded your Weibo before he died. . .

The fiercest: Your father left you a message before he died.

4. What should I do if I am bitten by mosquitoes in summer?

Of course, we should raise him.

Send him to school.

Buy him a house.

(4) Help him get a wife.

Show him the baby, or what can you do?

After all, it is your blood.

5、

The supermarket lined up to pay the money, and the MM in front stepped on me without apologizing.

So I took the biggest box of Durex from the side and put it on her shopping cart when she wasn't looking.

6、

My wife often says that if she wins the lottery one day, she will definitely get divorced and move abroad without giving me money. She must not know that I have been buying lottery tickets with the same number as her for five years ... see if she can still laugh then!

7、

An employee bought a cup with "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting.

Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

8、

Classmate a hit classmate b.

The teacher asked him, "Why did you hit someone?

A replied that C asked him to call.

Hearing this, the teacher was very angry. "Call you play, you play. If you were asked to eat shit, would you eat it? "

After listening, classmate A left angrily without saying anything.

After a while, the teacher called the monitor at once. "Go and see what a classmate did. ...

9、

Learn from me: Is the mayor of Nanjing called Jiangqiao?

I said: no!

The classmate said: Then when I took the train yesterday, I saw a big sign saying-Welcome to Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge!

I am speechless!

10、

Look at these last words. How many can you know?

Eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit,

Have you ever found that you can do nothing but eat shit?

One of the most classic cold jokes

Why don't I have a third aunt?

One day, I suddenly found out,

I have one aunt, two aunts, four aunts, five aunts, and no third aunt.

So I went to ask my dad: Why don't I have a third aunt?

I thought for a moment: Did Third Aunt die when she was young?

My dad said angrily, your third aunt is your mother! !

One of the most classic cold jokes

Tell us next time.

Party A, Party B and Party C travel together,

A has a cold ... everyone sleeps in the same bed at night, and A sleeps in the middle.

In the middle of the night … A took a big sniffle, and B and C were covered with A crystals.

Let us know next time ... In half an hour,

Attention ... B and C get into the quilt and make sure there is no contact with the outside world. ...

As a result, a fart ...

One of the most classic cold jokes

Think about the teacher.

Teacher: "Students, if you feel stupid, please stand up."

The students looked at each other and dared not stand up.

Only one brave man stood up,

Teacher: "This classmate, do you think you are stupid?"

Student: "no, teacher, I just don't want you to stand alone!" " "

One of the most classic cold jokes

I know the truth.

There was a child who was very close to his master when he was a child. His master is full of bad water.

One day, I taught my child to say, "Son, when you go home and see someone's family, don't say anything else, just say to him," I know the truth! "

I'm sure it will be good for you.

The child learned.

As soon as I came home and saw his mother,

Step forward and say: I know the truth.

His mother turned pale and quickly took out fifty dollars to tell the child: Baby, don't tell your dad, mom gave fifty dollars for flowers. "

Soon I saw his father again, and he said, I know the truth!

Without saying anything, his father took out 200 yuan and put it in the child's hand. He also told the children: Don't tell mom!

The child thinks he is rich now.

Found a way to get rich.

Everyone who saw it said that I knew the truth.

One of the most classic cold jokes

Prove the existence of conditioned reflex

In primary school science class, the teacher told us that knocking on the knee would lead to knee jump.

When I got home, I took a hammer and hit it on my dad's knee. And my dad stood up and kicked me.

It turns out that the teacher is right!

One of the most classic cold jokes

The consequences of the rise

Dayong went home suddenly on a business trip. At the door, he heard a man snoring.

Dayong walked away silently and sent a short message to his wife: "Divorce!"

Then throw away the mobile phone card and fly away. three

Many years later, when they met again in a city, the wife asked, "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

Dayong explained the situation at that time, and his wife turned her head and simply said, "That's Rising's little lion."

One of the most classic cold jokes

I dare not kill my husband.

The wife, who has always been known for her strictness, taught her husband a lesson.

Don't cheat your wife like some playboys.

Husband swears:

"I don't have the courage to have that heart; Have courage and no money (money);

With that money, I dare not take that risk.

We can't lose that man, and now we can't lose that eye.

Madam, please rest assured that I dare not kill my husband! "

One of the most classic cold jokes

Ten characteristics of boys who can't find girlfriends.

1 No smoking.

Drink only a small amount of beer.

Can't play poker, mahjong or games.

Can't fight.

The wage income in May was less than 2000.

There are no fancy clothes.

Go straight home from work.

8 Height is less than1.70m..

9 There is a father and a mother, no car and no room.

10 can't dance hip-hop and doesn't look like a handsome guy … how many do you have?

One of the most classic cold jokes

be in a dilemma

Teacher: Xiao Xin, please use "dilemma" to make a sentence.

Xiao Xin: I was in a dilemma during the exam.

Teacher: Are you in a dilemma because you can't answer the question?

Xiao Xin: No, left and right students have different answers, which puts me in a dilemma. . .