I feel like your world doesn’t lack me

"I have thought about leaving you, not because you are not good, nor because I no longer love you, but because your attitude towards me makes me feel that your world does not lack me." — - Murakami Muraki

At first, I felt that our relationship was as beautiful as a dream. Although we got along childishly, bickering and joking, and fighting, we were happy and able to enjoy ourselves in time. But now that we have been together for more than three months, your attitude always makes me feel that I am not missing in your world.

The fate of our blind date actually made me see love.

It was originally thought that in the blind date stage, choosing personal conditions is the first criterion for blind dates. As long as it meets the standard of "well-matched", it is considered a successful blind date. Nowadays, blind dates continue to threaten contemporary young people. On the one hand, their parents are anxious, and on the other hand, they themselves also hope that someone can fill the gap and accompany them at night after the huge work pressure during the day. Being able to meet someone with equal knowledge and financial resources is already a fate, so there is no need to expect strong feelings, just being suitable.

It was with this original intention that I went on a blind date for the first time in my life, but after meeting you, I fell in love. I feel so incredible.

The company on the weekend, the dinner you made, the streets of Shanghai we walked through, the involuntary hugs... except for the slow response to messages on WeChat, everything was wonderful.

However, catching up with the epidemic in Shanghai, you and I are on opposite sides of the "Mandarin Duck Pot" in different places. Meeting each other has become a luxury. We can only care for each other and accompany each other through WeChat.

But during this lockdown, I felt that your world does not lack me. I have been alone at home under lockdown for more than ten days. I can't feel your care, and I am gradually feeling cold.

According to research, women prefer chatting to build relationships. Yes, I am a person who likes to chat very much. During the lockdown days, I will forward some interesting jokes to you, as well as some epidemic prevention information and food grabbing strategies. And I am a carefree person, and I don’t care whether you reply or not after seeing the joke. But I hope you can share some of your life, even if you help me pay attention to group buying and other information. However, no. I just perfunctory my sharing every day.

Why are you so "indifferent" to me on WeChat when we haven't met each other? (Actually, I don’t want to use the word indifference. I have found countless excuses to explain your "indifference".)

I have been making excuses until that day. At 9 o'clock that morning, I learned that there were multiple positive cases in the apartment building. I nervously dialed your phone number. Although I knew you were still sleeping, you were the first person I thought of. After explaining the situation, I sympathized with you and said, "You can sleep a little longer, it should be fine." Then I hung up the phone. I didn’t receive your WeChat message until one o’clock in the afternoon. My first reaction was that you actually slept until now. But you said, "I've finished eating and done the nucleic acid preparation." This sentence made me collapse.

So you only think of me now? Superfluous condolences after a good meal? Suddenly, all the previous details flashed before my eyes, full of words: He doesn’t care about your situation.

Friends from near and far asked me how I was doing, helped me grab food, collected group purchase information, and ordered meals for me. In comparison, it is so ridiculous.

Don’t want to quarrel, don’t want to say something wrong with him, if a person can’t even care, it’s not a personality problem. My guess is: I don’t like it that much, or I get it too easily and don’t cherish it.

I called you early yesterday morning to ask you to grab food, but you were busy on the line over there. What were you doing? I. I have been alone at home for more than ten days. Have you ever cared about what I am doing?

I have always believed that women should be able to afford and let go. If the thought of "leaving you" suddenly arises, will you be reluctant to leave?

I am not a girl who loses her temper, and I will not tell you about your mistakes on WeChat. But that doesn’t mean I have no feelings or thoughts of my own. I prefer to express my dissatisfaction through jokes or casual teasing.

Adults no longer make sacrifices for their feelings without hesitation or hesitation. Weighing gains and losses, stopping losses in time, and being self-satisfied is a mature concept of love.

What I like is always you who "likes me". If one day you don't like me, then I will love myself.

Once some thoughts arise, I am afraid that I may not be able to go back to the past.

Today we only sent 4 or 5 WeChat messages to say good night to each other...