Everyone says that big cities have many opportunities. Don't know how to understand this sentence?

1. A spider was weaving a web in a tree and accidentally fell down from it.

Do you know how many legs were left when it fell? Four, (spiders have six legs)

Because when it fell, he put his hands on his chest and said, "God, you scared me to death!" "

2. A colleague keeps a dog named Dazhuang at home. When he speaks, he always says from time to time that my guy is big and strong! Hound! Who dares bully me! My family is really strong! Very good!

One day, I went to his house as a guest, looking for the so-called hound. My colleague shouted, come here!

At this moment, a little brown teddy came along with two drops of fart.

A passer-by passed an acre of land and saw an old acquaintance herding cattle again, so he greeted him and said, Have you eaten?

So so-and-so replied, "My family has three or four cows."

Passers-by are very depressed! I shouted, do you have a ditch there?

So-and-so replied: I raise cattle, not dogs.

As the plane just landed, I unbuckled my seat belt while turning on my cell phone.

When I stood up, I found that my seat belt had not been unfastened, but my belt had just been unfastened. ...

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5. A diaosi suddenly became a local tyrant. Because I have never stayed in a hotel, I went to check in. When I went to the toilet, I found it was a toilet, but I couldn't open it. I have no choice. I pulled on the toilet seat. Later, I remembered to flush it with water. I pressed a button and shit bounced on the ceiling! He found a waiter and gave him 200 yuan to clean up the shit. The waiter was dumbfounded. "I'll give you two thousand dollars. You tell me how you shit on the ceiling!

6. I got paid today. I bought a 500G mobile hard disk immediately after I got paid. It's almost May Day, at least change the "girls" to a mansion.

7. I went to an Internet cafe to get a membership card, filled it with 100 and sent it to 100. There are 200 yuan in the membership card, I used 100 online, and the rest 100 was sold to my roommate for 50 yuan. At this time, the problem came. Who lost?

8. The necklace that the man gave me was broken, so I took it to the shop to have it repaired. The boss in the shop touched my necklace and said, "The ornaments of more than ten dollars don't need to be repaired." When I went out in a rage, I threw the trash can ... and had a big fight with the male ticket. The male ticket took the necklace invoice and dragged me to the trash can to find the necklace. I saw the shopkeeper wearing my necklace around his neck! !

9、

My best friend made a boyfriend a while ago and spent all day together.

I went shopping together today and saw her limping.

Ask her what happened. She minced and answered after a while: "It's not because of the male ticket."

I don't understand: "What happened to him?"

Girlfriend pretends to be mysterious: "In one word, poor."

10, the landlord gave Xiong Haizi an apple at noon to let them eat and sleep. Xiong Haizi jumped up and down on the bed and suddenly dropped the apple into the 1 urinal beside the bed. I pretended not to see it and wanted to see what he would do. I saw him dry with toilet paper and came over to me with a serious face and said, the teacher chewed the skin for me. . . . . Holy shit. . . . I can't be a teacher . . .