Humorous, funny and incisive copy

I heard that my ex-girlfriend was having a bad time, so I sat at the door and played all day.

2. When I was a teenager, I came out to earn money, from nothing to penniless, and then from penniless to heavily in debt. This is me, different fireworks, I am me, and I see myself burning.

3. It's really not easy to be a man: 18 wants grades before, 18 wants objects, wants children after marriage, wants children's grades after having children, and 18 wants children, all of which are ordinary people. Why bother each other?

I heard that staying up late is not good, which will lead to mental decline and ugliness, so stay up all night.

As the saying goes, everything is difficult at the beginning. As long as you get through the beginning, you will find it difficult in the middle and even more difficult in the end.

6. A man who warms only one woman is a warm man! A man who warms many women, it's a boiler!

7. "Fat people have nine points of wealth. Not rich is also a town house "will be the most fashionable and popular sentence in 2 19, foodies, open your belly and eat with confidence!"

8. A young couple just got married. The wife complained to her husband, "My parents are too anxious. Your mother mentioned the birth of a child again yesterday and said that she wanted to have grandchildren early. " The husband said: mom is a little anxious about this, but dad never says much. The wife pouted and said, "Dad didn't say anything, but he held a copy of Sun Tzu's Art of War in front of me all day."

Nine. What TV says is: I'll give you tens of thousands and keep my daughter. The reality is: give us tens of thousands, or leave my daughter.

10. Because I am too introverted, I have been unable to rush over to check out.

1 1. Me: Mom, I read an article today saying that beating and scolding children didn't play a little educational role when I was a child. Now I think it was really useless to call at that time! Mom: I didn't take it for nothing. At that time, I hit you mainly to relieve my anger. It doesn't matter whether I teach or not.

12. You don't know what dependence is until you lose your belt.

Thirteen. Not all singles represent a sexy state. Some people have no hope of falling in love, just want to get rich quietly. Defatting is better than taking off the bill, and degreasing is better than getting rid of poverty. How to solve the problem, only get rich.

Fourteen. "Boss, how much is this?" "eight hundred." "Oh my god, it's too expensive. What about the one next to it? " "Two days!"

15. Sometimes you don't have a serious relationship, and you have no idea how happy a person is.

15. You told me before you got married. Your greatest strength is kindness. After you got married, I found out that you really can only idle around and do nothing!

17. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up for two reasons. One is that I had no money at that time, and the other is that she guessed that I would have no money in the future.

18. After graduation, I will go my separate ways. When she left, the female deskmate suddenly blushed and whispered to me: There is a saying that I have been holding in my heart for a long time. I want to tell you that if I don't say it today, I won't have a chance. I thought at that time: did she find that I had a good impression on her and wanted to tell me? I also blushed and asked her in a low voice, what's the matter? She blushed even more and said, you lent me 5 yuan last week and haven't paid me back yet.

Nineteen. When I was a child, people always said I was ugly. One day, a group of gangsters called me ugly, and I was unhappy then. I got into a fight with them when I went up. Since then, I have never heard others say that I am ugly, because I was deaf by them.

Anything you like basically has one of these three characteristics. It's too expensive and fat. I don't want to hear from you.

Twenty one. The three most uncomfortable things about going to college are: watching the results show, watching couples show their love, and watching local tyrants show off their wealth; Three things that are even more uncomfortable than this are: watching Xueba show love, watching local tyrants show results, and watching couples show off their wealth.

Experts pointed out that as long as women spend money regularly, their troubles will be reduced by 80%, and their emotional intelligence and IQ will be improved. I think this expert is very reliable, but where does the money come from? The expert didn't say!

23. Live well, and there will be a new blow every day.

24. It's time to leave again. It's time to break up again I hope you can walk alone, I'll take a taxi!

Twenty-five Life is not only now, but also a house that you can't afford and a salary that you can't afford to support your family.

26. The biggest regret in life is that you can't kiss yourself.

27. Stop complaining that you can't find a suitable person among1400 million people. You can't find one of the four multiple-choice questions in the exam.

I hate this world of looking at faces, so I don't know who really loves me.

I know what you will be like tomorrow, really, I will tell you the day after tomorrow.

30. If you are busy, besides being really important, the more likely reasons are: you are weak, you have nothing better to do, your life is too bad, you must make up for it, or you pretend to be busy and make yourself look important.