Humorous joke: A girl in the factory talked about a man on the Internet.

When buying duck neck, stick your head in the window. The aunt who sells duck necks said that the girl was obedient and could not come in. Good boy, I promise to give you more. I feel wronged, auntie. Who are you kidding? I'm not a child anymore! ! !

I woke up drooling on the pillow, then looked at the mobile phone next to me and lost in thought. Fortunately, it's not all on my mobile phone, otherwise I won't be able to live this month and I have to buy a mobile phone.

A girl in the factory talked about a man online and made an appointment to elope, but she came back soon. This is how she remembered us: packing that day, there was no big bag at home, so she found a snakeskin bag with pig feed and half a bag of clothes. When she arrived at the railway station, the man was holding a backpack and notebook, and I broke up on the spot with a snakeskin bag. Think about that picture. I was drunk, too.

Primary school exams often fail, and the damn teacher asks parents to sign. One day, I was out of my mind and folded the failed paper into a small square. Then I went to my father and said, "Dad, how do you write your name?" Dad took a look and said, "Son of a bitch, how dare you insult your father's IQ!" " "Then, ahhh, a terrible beating.

When I was a child, I played with a cleaning gun during the New Year, lit it and threw it in front of my friends. She covered her ears and stepped back. Knowing the power of cleaning the gun, I quickly yelled at her: there was a toilet in the back (there was a big can of stock behind the toilet in my hometown) and she fell down. I just looked at her, struggling, struggling feebly ~ I was quiet for a Spring Festival that year! Mom hit my dad and couldn't stop him, so we started fighting. )

Yesterday, I was on the road with my wife, who pretended to push me into the road. I said, "If something really happens, there is no hope for our family." Wife: "If something really happens, there will be hope for our family!" " "The son said angrily at the back:" Well, you can pay hundreds of thousands! ""I am. . .

The whole class staged a dance, which was really varied and varied, with various stretches and twists. Boys try their best to imitate the movements of their classmates in front, only seeking the movements at the beginning and the end, and ignoring all the movements in the middle, which makes people want to be crazy! ! ! !

When I went on a blind date, the woman saw me smoking and casually asked, how many years have you been smoking? I said, for ten years, women said they could buy a BMW without smoking! I'm happy when I hear it. I immediately took out my card and said, I draw 400 yuan a month, which is 48 thousand in ten years. Here, give you 50 thousand and give me a BMW.

When I was a freshman, my classmates had dinner together and ordered a plate of fried snails. The landlord ate it for the first time. I said, how should I eat this thing? They said suck it out and eat the meat. I didn't expect my suction to be ok, and I can basically suck it out. After dinner, they said in surprise: Wow! How come your snail is so clean! I took a look at them and found that they didn't eat tails, but only the meat on their heads. I ate them all ... ate them. ...

I ate all the snacks in the street next to the school. At noon that day, I came back from dinner outside. On entering the room, the third child, who was sleeping in an Internet cafe, poked his head out of the bed, narrowed his eyes and sniffed his mouth, muttering that it was eggplant bibimbap from Fulai Hotel. How delicious his diced meat is! Say and swallow saliva fell asleep.

"Husband, the last thing I like is that when I arrive at a store, a clerk will chase you and ask what to buy, so I will just stroll around!" "I'll teach you a trick. If you encounter any situation in the future, you must kill them!" "Come on, come on, come on ..." "They asked you what to buy, and you replied: I can wear it! They will definitely retreat! " Damn it!

Li Yinan's Classic Quotations

1, plan your own path well, don't follow your feelings! According to personal ideal decision, most people do not expect to be academicians or professors, but hope to live a moist and refreshing life. Then, you need to carefully arrange your own trajectory. From which industry to start, get to know this industry gradually, and don't change jobs frequently, especially for a little salary. In the long run, this money is nothing at all. When you have so many years of experience in an industry, money is not a problem at all in the future. Frequent turmoil is not the best policy. Finally, you don't know anything about any industry, and you will always be a novice!

2, you can do technology, you must not be addicted to technology. Never focus on technology! Put a lot of pressure on yourself. If you put your mind on it, you are destined to be like Kong Yiji! Enough is enough, because technology is only one of the pillars of your future, and it is not the biggest pillar, unless you just want to be an engineer until you are old!

3, don't be a technical expert, just be a comprehensive quality expert! When we are in the enterprise, we often look down on a person and say that he "knows nothing, why do you get so much money and why do you get promoted!" This is a common and typical pedantic remark of engineers. 805 1 awesome? Anyone who can go up must have his ability, but you don't. Think about it, the boss has been in business for so many years, isn't he as knowledgeable as you, a recruit? People may be good at management, understand the boss's intentions and coordinate departments. Therefore, we should cultivate our abilities in many aspects, including management ability, affinity, ability to observe words and observe colors, and ability to tackle key problems. If you want to be a master of comprehensive quality, the future is bright, otherwise you can only hide in the corner and watch the oscilloscope! Skills other than technology are more important skills! ! The United States and Japan have always been like this since ancient times!

4. Make more friends in society! Don't just associate with engineers, thinking that they have a common language. In fact, it is more important to associate with other types of people. If one day you want to be a boss or a senior manager, you will face these people all day. Understanding their experiences, thinking habits, hobbies, learning their problem-solving models and understanding the phenomena and problems in all corners of society are great capital for future development. Without these, they will be clumsy, stumble, encounter many difficulties, pay a lot of tuition fees, and the probability of success will be greatly reduced!

5, knowledge does not have to be specialized, but it must be wide! Read more books on other subjects, such as finance, accounting, import and export, taxation and law. Do some accumulation for the future, it will be more useful in the future! Will pay a lot less tuition! !

6, seize the opportunity to do technical management or marketing! If you want a future, you can't always engage in development. At the right time, you should switch to management or sales, and the future will be even bigger. It was not for nothing to engage in technology before, but it will be needed in the future. Management can cultivate one's leadership ability, while sales can cultivate one's market concept and thinking, and at the same time accumulate huge contacts for one's future development! It should be said that this is the real pillar of the future.

7. Gradually overcome your weaknesses and personality defects! Suspicious, sensitive, naive (derogatory, unlovable), hesitant, timid, worrying, too thin-skinned, not black-hearted, dogmatic thinking ... these common personality weaknesses of engineers must be changed! Is it difficult? It's impossible to think in bed alone. To help a friend set up a stall for a month. I'm sure it will work. Practice, not just thinking! Without overcoming these shortcomings, everything is impossible, and even you can't be a good project manager-although you may be very skilled!

8. Prepare for the future while working! Establish your own working environment! Configure a working environment for yourself as soon as possible, equipped with computers, oscilloscopes (you can buy second-hand), simulators, programmers, etc. So that you can work in your spare time. On the one hand, you can get in touch with the market, cultivate a sense of the market, and at the same time you can accumulate funds. More importantly, you can prepare your own products. We don't have the money to engage in technology, only technology. The representatives of technology are not academic qualifications and certificates, but products. If you come up with decent products, you can transfer technology or cooperate with people to set up enterprises. Get things ready first and wait for the opportunity, otherwise, you can't catch the opportunity!

9. Learn to be good at selling yourself! Not only be competent, but also speak and write, and be good at using every opportunity to promote yourself and establish your own brand image! Create conditions for others to know yourself, otherwise how will the boss know that you are capable? How can outside investors trust you? Sell yourself early, and the opportunity will come to you! It's a good idea to have a personal homepage! In particular, to cultivate their own reputation in the industry, with fame, the opportunity for high salary is self-evident, and more importantly, the opportunity for cooperation. ...

The screen name of a man and a woman.

1, fall in love with your knife mouth and your tofu heart 2, a kite song and a bright moon scene.

No one will marry you except me.

4. Please! Bo you love!

5. Less stories, less feelings and more stories.

6. Drink alone and walk alone.

7. Drink wind and kiss goodbye with the evening wind

8. Enough waves. Tianya is used to drinking hard liquor.

9. Staying dirty words and losing paragraphs

10, love words turn to dust, and the past is invalid.

1 1, my enthusiasm is limited, so you should seize the time.

12, mild green tea in the south and hot spirits in the north.

13, please breathe if you love me, and hold your breath if you don't.

14, northern solitary wine, southern tenderness

15, let the past wind all over the street.

16, a prostitute who moved her heart.

17, the eyebrows of each painting are deep enough.

18, singing wine and half sorrow.

19, there is no wind to accompany you all your life.

20, and a girl with a weak crown

2 1, you said that if I remember you in the next life, you said that if I meet you in the next life.

22. The sky is still blue and the stars are still bright

23. I still love you when I miss you.

24, like to sleep.

25, early spring and late spring wine warm flowers deep.

26. During the trip, the doctor met a patient halfway.

27, a two-word love story. Seven-character love letter.

28, childe solo dance night winding mushroom cool accompaniment night lonely.

29. I am super cool and super boring.

30. Fairy in thinking hat and Master Jia with gray beard

3 1, the cute captain of the basketball court, the girl who is a cheerleader.

32. I will always be with you.

33, willing to ruin my life for you to turn back.

34, the so-called hinder people but hinder people

35, the third rib, the second heart

36.[ Never left] [Full of deep love]

37. Migratory birds never break their word.

38. Proud tigers and affectionate reindeer

39. Break the knife and abandon the halberd for you. Study ink and write for you.

40, love empty city, single city, government.

4 1, warm-hearted lover, peace of mind lover

42, mental derangement little girl's mental derangement

43. If I want to keep you, I won't run away.

44. Negative second generation and poor second generation

45, breeze, wine and ink tones

46, clean as the wind, quiet as the wind

47. Shan Ye goes to the study from morning till night.

48. When people are cold, they will be sultry and cold.

49.りTinglg LG is the only one injured.

50, son, don't eat spicy uncle, don't drink.

5 1, promiscuous, careless and ambiguous, prevalent

52. Help your eyebrows and waist.

53. Three-point turbid wine and seven-point music

54. Unknown lover, enthusiastic lover

I don't love you. I told me not to.

56. In.

57. The warmest person and the most distressed person with gg.

58. Wake up like a dream, like the beginning of love.

59. Give you darkness. I am afraid of light.

60. You are a disgrace to your sister's world. You're wasting your sister's world.

6 1, drug-induced drug addiction

62. Nanxiang is lonely, while Beihai is a ronin.

63. Long-term love addiction has become chronic addiction.

64. Warm harbor girl Wen Xiang teenager

65. Be loyal to your own life and say joys and sorrows for the emperor.

66. The old driver of the gun field carried the handle by radio waves.

67. Three thousand ideas

68. Begonia is forgotten

69, the wind with soul alone with wild dogs

70. I miss you, I want to cry, I love you and I'm tired of it.

7 1, holding colorful clothes and legs to cover up the kiss.

72. Meng Sen Town. A lazy cat is careless.

73. Long song and the Floating City and Lovers.

74. Meet the Woods and refuse to meet them.

75. The promise disappeared in a fleeting time. My promise was lost in exile.

76. Dissatisfied people have been hurt.

77. Give me a hug and a kiss.

78. song for you, tell for you.

79. Affectionate, hateful and changeable.

80, smelly feet old man sweet feet old lady

Please be kind to him in August and wait for her in September.

82. It is happy to be young at night.

83. I will hit you again. You can't bear to hum.

84. When I was young, I would say mulberry.

85, fall in love with poisoning, I love bones.

86. Chen Jinmo dyed the painting as incense.

87. I would like to spend the rest of my life with you.

88. I'm still worried about pregnancy

89, slow and silly, cute, black, handsome and crazy

90. Hide the baby in your heart and the stars in your eyes.

9 1, lost his sense of proportion and lost his voice.

92. Ningbeisen House in Orange South Hutong

93. I'm still lonely. I also have sake.

94. Hug and forget.

95.⊙ Sunset at dusk ⌒ Moon at dawn

96. Don't get tired of being near me. If I leave you, I will cry.

97. Petite Lori is proud and proud.

98. Before the sun warms up in the breeze.

99. Your mouth is so sweet. Would you like to have a try?

100, free wind of troubles and lovely wind of troubles.

Signature of 2020qq couple: a man and a woman are humorous.

1: It begins with a happy heart and the first loyalty.

2. Start with a happy heart and loyalty.

3: No player found.

4: Players are online.

5: Don't rob my pig.

6: Don't arch my cabbage.

7: Nothing has a definite taste.

8. Delicious people are precious.

9. Write word for word.

10: Remember for a lifetime.

1 1: Don't let go if you can grasp it.

12: Don't pull if you can.

13: I am willing to win a person's heart.

14: the bald head does not separate.

I love you forever.

I love you forever

17: hard mouth and big temper

18: softhearted and jealous

19: I have a story. Do you have any wine?

I have something on my mind. Do you have any cigarettes?

2 1: I just want to be with you. You can only love me in this life.

I just want to be with you. You can only miss me in your life.

23: ponytail, white coat, short skirt, canvas shoes. This is the girl I love.

24: White shirt, jeans, middle sneakers. This is the teenager I love.

I like you and have a bad temper.

26: I like you, silly character

I always have you in my field of vision.

28: You must have me in your field of vision.

29: Seek and never give up.

Looking around, no one is like you.

3 1: I regard you as a treasure.

I love you so much that I'm wet for you.

33: Hello everyone. Let me introduce you. This is my boyfriend.

34: Hello everyone. Let me introduce you. This is my girlfriend.

You said that people are afraid of loneliness when they walk.

I said this is not even what you should do when there are many people.

37: I was born in cool thin, how to warm others.

I am an affectionate person, how can I be single-minded?

39: Why are you so free?

40: Because my salt value is high.

4 1: You took it. I said the gun went off.

You stabbed me with a knife and said my hands were shaking.

43: League of Legends broke up many couples.

44: Meitu Xiu Xiu has done a lot of online dating.

45: Well, who, how about going to the Civil Affairs Bureau today?

46: Why go? Do you want to change my ledger?

47: Don't stop if you go far.

I can't see the way back for a long time.

49: Fat is fat. Don't be hungry. Nobody wants me to do this.

50: You are ugly, don't feel sorry for yourself, it doesn't matter if I am blind!

5 1: Woman, keep your eyes away from my man.

52: Man, protect your woman and don't touch my love.

53: Our love. Wet, torn, lost, gone, dead.

54: Our love. Always hurt, always hurt, always flashing, always flashing, always scattered.

55: Because there is nothing I can do, let nature take its course.

56: I am very happy because I have nothing to be afraid of.

No matter how bad your conditions are, there will always be people who love you.

No matter how good your conditions are, there will always be people who don't love you

Don't tell me forever, I won't live to that point.

Don't talk to me about the future, I can't see that road.

6 1: My heart is big, it can hold thousands of people, but it is not as good as yours.

62: My heart is so small that I can only leave you alone. I have no regrets in this life.

63: I just like your shyness.

64: I just like the way you focus.

Since you chose me, don't abandon me.

Since I chose you, I will love you well.

You cut off my leg, how can I accompany you to the end?

How can I hold you in my arms when you cut off my arm?

69: Abandon ten thousand just to be with you forever.

70: abandon thousands of pets just to be alone with you.

7 1: Fool, your company is the future.

72: Idiot, the days with you are called happiness.

Wife, I am willing to put on a suit for you and be your groom.

Honey, I am willing to put on a wedding dress for you and be your bride.

75: Men want to lock the zipper of women's wallets.

76: Women want to lock the zipper on men's pants.

77: Only girls know which girl is not a fuel-efficient lamp.

78: Only boys know which boy wants to fuck you.

79: The doctor shouldn't have a boyfriend because he is very busy.

80: Soldiers shouldn't have girlfriends because they are bitter.

8 1: I am a madman, a madman who only loves you.

82: You are a fool, a fool, and a fool is really sensible.