Funny double reed script lines

In the rapidly changing modern society, we may all use lines, which not only look forward to portraying the characters' personalities, but also express the thoughts and feelings of the people in the play. In fact, many friends don't know what kind of lines are good. The following are the lines of the funny double reed script I compiled for you. Welcome to study and reference. I hope it helps you.

Funny double reed script lines 1 props: a chair, white oil paint, a handkerchief soaked in water.

(At first, A entered the stage from the left to the middle of the stage)

A: On the occasion of the national celebration of the 55th anniversary of the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), I would like to take this opportunity to wish you good health, happy family and all the best.

Good evening, distinguished guests, friends, ladies and gentlemen!

Who are you? Come here to make trouble!

B: I am getting old.

A: Where are you from?

I have an old yellow car.

A: I already know what you said about Lao Huang What are you doing at the customs?

B: Isn't this our National Day party in my heart today? Mr. Fan Wen, I'm here to perform for you.

A, ah, you can also perform programs?

B, why don't they hit it?

Zhong, what are you doing here?

B, I'll show you a double spring.

A: Double spring? Do you know what a double reed is?

I really don't know. Then tell me what a double reed is.

A: Double spring, that is, "two yellow eggs".

Bah, what a mess.

A: I'm just kidding. In fact, in simple terms, the double reed means that one person talks in the back and one person plays in the front. You can't say what you want to do, and you can't do it if you say it, so you can "teach by example."

B: After listening to what you have said, I dare say that these two reeds are very knowledgeable. Why don't we give you a performance?

Well, how about giving it a try? You talk in the back and I'll play in the front.

B: OK, clap your hands then, and let's begin.

A: (Applause in the chair)

B: Lao Huang, I am 33 years old and my weight has exceeded 330. Ask me why it's so heavy. It's not the policy of the * * * production party. I can drink and eat more! I won't say anything about the food at noon today. It's really delicious. There are flying in the sky, running on the ground, frying, steaming and roasting, which makes my eyes blind. Regardless of him, I ate a mouthful of meat and soup, I ate a mouthful of meat and soup, I ate meat and soup.

A: Scratch when it itches!

No, you can't talk.

Ah, if I go down again, I'll be exhausted! Why don't we change? I said you play.

B: Just change it. No one is afraid of anyone in this world, but I have to do it first.

A: My friends, as the saying goes, the clothes make the man, and the horse depends on the saddle. This man, who doesn't dress up in his old age, just doesn't look good. There is an uncle Li next door who is over 70 years old. Since seeing Zhao Benshan's sketches, he has paid special attention to dressing up. Hey, don't tell me that since Uncle Li dressed up, his waist has been sore, his legs have stopped hurting and his feet have stopped cramping. He went up to the fifth floor without breathing, and when he walked into the street, he could attract a group of old ladies to make eyes at him. Hey, how is it harder for this boy to change clothes than for that big girl to get on the sedan chair? Hey, Huang, are you ready?

Okay, here we are.

Let's have a look at his clothes. Oh, my God. ...

B: How about that? Very handsome.

You'd better not dress up.

What are you talking about? It's officially started this time.

A: You can carry out anything I say, but don't. You can't carry out what I say

B: I'll play whatever you say. Only you can't say it. There's nothing I can't play.

A: Friends, at first, he had to listen to me. I told him to go east, but he was afraid to go west. I told him to chase the dog, but he didn't dare to drive the chicken away.

Why do you talk so much nonsense?

All right, let's get started.

Answer: Hold your chest and abdomen, lift your hips and raise your head, then close your eyes, stretch out your right hand, bend upward at a 45-degree angle, stretch out your fingers, stretch back, open your mouth, put it in your mouth, bite, and bite hard.

Fuck you. I'm crazy. I- ...

Didn't you listen to me?

B: Whatever you say! Listen to you. I lost my hand.

A: Don't be angry! I just want to see if you can act. It's official now.

B: Come on.

See what I can do to him. (to the audience)

There is a sun in the sky-big, big, big.

(Singing) There is a guy on the ground-(Talking) Hot, hot, hot.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why I'm so hot, so hot.

I took out my handkerchief to wipe my sweat,

Drink a glass of cold water to clear the fire,

Take off your coat and blow,

Pull down the tie and let it cool;

(Singing) The north wind is blowing, and there is snow in the wind.

Count to nine, it's cold, I stamp my feet,

What's wrong with me? I don't have a fever. I'm at a loss. I really should make a phone call in such cold weather.

A: I reached out my right hand and hit my left face. I reached out my left hand and hit me on the right face.

A: Put out your right hand and hit your left face.

Hold out your left hand and hit your right face. ...

A: Hold out your right hand, hit your left face, and hold out your left hand. ...

At some point bilibili got up and left. ...

Answer: Come back, it's not over yet!

If I keep fighting, I will become a pig.

It's time for curtain call.

B return to the scene and make a curtain call together.

Bow, over.

The new year is coming, and the unit is going to hold a party. Beer creation has adapted a double-reed program and is ready to perform on stage. It is difficult to play the double spring for the first time. Here, thank you, Mr. Degang Guo (sorry, I borrowed your bridge) ... thank you, Mr. Zhou Weixing (thank you for your wonderful performance) ...

Props: chair, powder, braid. (A and B go on stage and bow to the audience)

A: The situation in Xinyu is really good, and the leap-forward development has reached its climax.

B: "50 billion yuan" is difficult to break, and "10 10" is a big plan.

(A and B): Seeing that the Spring Festival is coming, we went on stage to join in the fun.

Today, we made up a little program for you. This program is called Shuang Huang and is performed by two people.

A: (La B) Hey, wait, what do you mean, I can't.

B: Don't worry, as long as two people cooperate well, they can play the double spring well. You, acting in front, I, say something in the back, no acting, no acting, that's right.

Oh, I see. I am performing in front. This is called the front face.

B: The front face is funny. It's called "Front Face Music".

He is talking in the back. That's called back face.

B: the back face is naughty.

A: It's called "Hoho".

Go ahead, what are you talking about? What did you say?/Sorry?

Ok, no problem. It's just a happy front face and thick skin. Then let's cut the crap and start right away!

B: Wait, make up before the performance.

Oh, and makeup. (b) make up for a)

I have put on makeup. Look at this guy, how cool he looks, like the most beautiful card in mahjong. ...

A: (looking at B expectantly) Which card?

What a chicken!

Fuck you, and then tell me, are there any other rules for double reed?

B: Yes, as soon as you clap your hands in front, I'll talk in the back, so you can't move. You have to listen to me.

A: Oh, I clap my hands and it won't move. I am at your disposal.

B: That's clever. Can we get started?

Ok, let's get started.

(A turns around and sits down, B hides behind the chair, A claps his hands and starts to move. B come out from behind the chair and look at a)

B: You see, once you clap your hands, he can't move, and then he has to listen to me. Can you believe it? If you don't believe me, let's have a try.

(B turns to A, but A remains motionless. )

Put out your right arm. (A sticks out his right arm)

B: Clench your fist. (clenched fist, solemnly)

Hold out your index finger. (A sticks out his index finger)

B: Please come and have a look. (One handle hooks backwards)

Hook it on your nose. (a) Put your forefinger on your nostril)

Get in. (A makes nose drills, A makes surprises, and B cheers the audience)

B: go deeper. (A got a nose drill again, with a full face of pain)

B: Take it out. (a takes it out obediently)

Put it in your mouth. (A just put his index finger in his mouth. When he heard this, he shook his head and got up at once. )

A: I can't. You are too bad.

B: (sorry) Hehe, let's try your reflexes. Now let's get down to business.

A: It's only official. You can't play this anymore. Here we go.

B: Then let's play a literary drama, an old drama, and that kind of melodrama in an old movie.

A: An old play. All right. It's a little emotional.

B: It must be emotional. Today, for so many leaders, let's have an emotional moment. How about Brother and Sister Farewell?

A: Goodbye brother and sister. Interesting. All right, that's it.

When they returned to their seats, A clapped their hands, B talked, A took a towel, and made exaggerated dramatic movements with B's talk.

B: Everyone sat down and watched me play an old play.

The story is about cousins who are inseparable.

(A begins to play cousin and cousin respectively)

Oh, dear cousin, I will leave you soon.

Oh, dear cousin, where are you going?

Oh, dear cousin, He Mi called me to perform at Beihu Hotel. Oh, dear cousin, I won't let you go.

No, I'm leaving now!

-(A twisted her waist) Well ... I won't let you go.

No, I have to go!

-(A continues to twist her waist, bite a towel and imitate coquetry) Well ... I won't let you go. Um ... I won't let you go! Um ..., um ..., um. ...

You let her go! (A makes an angry gesture, throws a towel, and B comes out from behind the chair)

B: What's the matter? Well, it's so romantic.

A: What mood? My waist is going to break. What a mess! ...

B: it's not for the Chinese new year, to make everyone happy.

You can't come here and make everyone happy. Look at me. I'm tall and strong. You want me to "mm-hmm". Is this me?

B: No, not you.

A: Who is it?

B: Thai shemale.

Fuck you. Hey, I said, you know I'm a soldier. I really can't act this literary drama.

So, you want a martial arts film?

A: Yes, martial arts should fully show my masculinity.

B: All right then. Let's have a martial arts fight. You have to be ready.

No problem. Let's get started.

(A turns around and sits down, B hides behind the chair and A applauds in front; B talking in the back)

When the new year comes, people will laugh. Beihu Hotel is really lively!

Chinese New Year, singing new songs, there are many wonderful programs.

I'll perform next, and I promise you will laugh.

If you want to ask me what I'm playing, I have a brick on my head to scare you!