@ @ Emergency help @ @ Who has a funny joke? Come on!

1, after dinner today, I found a bench on campus and took a nap. When I woke up, I found some money in the rice basin.

2. Last time I helped a classmate lift the computer, I rented a scooter at the north gate. Then I rode back from the south gate. Near Nengke Building, a middle-aged man rode a bike quickly to catch up with me and asked me, "What junk do you collect?" This makes me very depressed.

When we finished the design, a brother in the opposite lab took three boys in our grade to process the circuit board. The Yike factory near the southwest gate is said to have left with a broken woven bag. At that time, Lanqiying Community was under construction. On that day, there was a sandstorm that blew other disciples to the ground. When I arrived at the gate of the factory, I was stopped by the guards. They said it was used for processing. The doorman said, "Come here. One of you can write and fill in the visitor list! " "

4. I just moved to the new campus that day and went out to buy a box lunch for everyone. 1 * * * 7 copies. When I entered the gate of the dormitory area, two mm saw me, and then one of them said to the other, "Didn't you say you couldn't deliver takeout?"

Once in front of Shuang 'an shopping mall, I was waiting for my classmate with my schoolbag on my back. A man stopped the car and told me that I was from the mall, and then I walked away. ...

6. Once I sent GF home, I was stopped by the doorman downstairs, saying that I would not be allowed to clean up the garbage at night, and I would clean it up tomorrow morning.

7./kloc-When I was 0/6 years old, I went to a public toilet to pee. After paying 20 cents, I went straight to the ladies' room. The old man who collected the money grabbed me and shouted, "Where have you been, smelly boy?" ! "

8. Three of our classmates were walking in Zhongguancun Street, and a CD seller ran over and asked, Do you want a CD? This classmate ignored it and asked another classmate if he wanted this software. Students ignore it. He came to me again and asked me, do you want porn? Shit, the giant lost face and was laughed at by his classmates. Go back and look in the mirror. It's not like watching too much porn.

9. Also, when our family first moved here, we didn't know the manager downstairs very well. Later, the manager downstairs once said to my mother, Your maid seems to be punctual. When I got home from school, it was already 4 o'clock sharp. This misunderstanding was solved in a month.

10, I was waiting for the bus at Gongzhufen that day, and an uncle pretended to know a lot and said to me, "You can't fool me, mobile phone collector!" As he spoke, he took out his mobile phone from his coat. I said I don't accept it. I'm waiting for the bus! The man actually said, "What's wrong with the mobile phone business now? Don't be such a good thing! " Depressed!

1 1. I didn't shave once in college, and then I went to the classroom to study by myself and was stopped at the door. "Uncle, what time is it?" Suddenly petrified! ! It's pathetic, only 20 years old! From now on, shave every day!

12, I had a red dress in college, and I wore it to Carrefour. I was dragged by an uncle and asked, Miss, where can I sell seasoning salt here? ...

13, I saw someone in our school set up a stall looking for a tutor that weekend and was about to say hello. He MM stepped forward and said, "Uncle, do you want to hire a tutor for your child?" I'm dizzy!

14. On the eve of graduation, I accompanied a buddy to the talent market to apply for a job. When I saw that the recruitment of a normal college had ended, I sat down in front of their recruitment desk and asked a plmm, "Teacher, what major are you looking for?" At that time, I stayed, you know, I was also a graduate:-(((

15, once I was walking down the street with a classmate. We were both men. A man came up to us and asked, "Do you want a couple's watch? A pair of 28 yuan. Are we so gay?

16. When I used to have long hair, I went to my classmate's house to play and was praised by her mother: This girl is really tall.

17, I went to the toilet again and saw a man with long hair when I went in. We are all surprised: we may think we are in the wrong toilet. ...

18, moved into a new home and bought a lot of things to go home. I met my neighbor at the door. He asked me sympathetically, how did I bring so many things back by car? Hi, do I look like someone who can't afford a taxi? I told him that I drove by myself, and he lamented that being a taxi driver was very hard and his waist was not good. Gao, do I look bad? I told him that I was not a taxi driver, and he suddenly realized, "Oh, you used to be the driver of the unit for the leader." I said lazily and let it go. But one day I met him and knocked on my door early in the morning and asked me to give him a ride. Because it was basically on the road, I wanted to forget it, but I even said, "It's public oil anyway."

19, I know I look old, but some ticket scalpers have gone too far. Every time I get on the bus, as soon as I stand firm, the conductor shouts: That comrade gave his seat to this master. I'm only 22 years old ... My brother, with developed hair, forgot to tidy up his face one day and went out on a broken donkey, carrying a big green cloth bag (not military, pure green). He was asked by more than n people to repair gas stoves, sewers and security doors.

20. Occasionally wear a US military jungle camouflage to go to the bar, and MM drinks too much. I'll wait at the door of the toilet. Then a GG came over and borrowed a lamp from me and asked me what time it was. When he left, he asked me, "What time do you go to work?" I don't understand, he stressed. Aren't you the security guard here? Shit, has he seen a security guard wearing 2500 sets of original camouflage, a rover with 6000 yuan, and a China security horse with a soft box? I told MM, and MM laughed all night. Although I am not very bookish, I am a postdoctoral fellow after all.

2 1, I have the same experience occasionally. I like to wear a black bag at work, dress casually, and my hair is generally messy. As a result, when I went to work in the morning and entered the office building, someone always asked me, "What's the phone number of your courier company?"

22. A friend's colleague went to Shanghai on business and went to the director's house to ask if the director was in. The nanny shouted in Shanghainese, "Director, there are two country people coming to see you." I didn't know that my colleague could understand Shanghai dialect, so I said helplessly, "We are from Beijing." As a result, the nanny shouted again, "Director, there are two country people from Beijing looking for you." Dizzy! Those two guys earn more than 10000 a month.

23. On a summer evening, our two brothers strolled past a construction site. A brother in a rotten white vest and slippers walked slowly, and one of them fell behind. At this time, a kind migrant worker came over and patted him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, it's time to eat ..."