Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What are the funny opening remarks?
What are the funny opening remarks?
Ladies and gentlemen, my sister's friends, uncles and aunts, old and young, sisters: come at ten o'clock. Ok ~ ~! (with open arms) It's hot in summer, and the night is sultry. Crossing the prosperity of the city, you and I meet on the big stage of Liu Laogen again. Thank you! The sun is shining tonight, no, the stars are shaking and the lights are shining tonight. This is the world of flowers, ah, this is the ocean of dance! All right! (Clapping hands at the same time) Uh, the ocean! The vast sea of people, all sentient beings, you and I are all looking for happiness. Your arrival will make our Liu Laogen's stage and walls, er, shed walls dusty, and your arrival will be as warm as going home, no, warm. Here, on behalf of our boss and all proprietresses, I would like to express my deep sorrow, er no, and join all the actors in expressing warm condolences to you! All right! (Clap your hands at the same time) Thank you for enjoying these performances of mental illness with your long endurance, compassionate eyes and good compassion. The actors in our group are all mentally ill, but I am more normal than them because I just finished taking medicine! First of all, my old and new friends don't know me. First of all, please allow me to introduce myself at once. I come from People's Republic of China (PRC), and I am alone. This is my first time hosting a program. My name is Dachang. Dachang is the large intestine. I am twenty-three years old. I belong to a girl, a beautiful girl. I was born on1May 198518th. At night, it rained on the day I was born, er, the day I was born. I have a small education, a bachelor's degree and little education. I went to school for two days and caught up with Sunday. I can't speak any gorgeous language, but I can assure you that I am talking about Turin. Why? Because I opened my mouth, I wish all the friends who applauded me tonight a long life. Better late than never! If you don't applaud, I wish all your friends who play mahjong, choke on water, break the net and applaud for me. I will never forget you, even if I am a ghost, I will never let you go. I will always remember you in my heart. I won't say anything. Don't look at my appearance. I look a little surprised. I didn't mean to come out to scare you. I'm sorry to tell you first! My master Zhao Benshan said that you are the Lord, God, Amen, Jesus and so on, which are all very important to us! For us, you are particularly important. Ah, if you don't come, we will make money, right? The clothes, trousers, trousers ends and socks we wear are all taken out of your pocket. As the saying goes, there must be a spirit if the mountain is not high, and a dragon if the water is not deep. Ah, there will be a dragon! There are not many spectators, just pay! You are happy, the boss is happy, the boss is happy, the boss is happy, the boss is happy, the boss is happy, the manager is happy, and the actor has this (making money gestures at the same time). With this, they can go out at night! Well, I won't be wordy. Don't treat me as an accident, I am more talented. As the saying goes, the sea is getting cold! I am the most talented actor in our troupe, combining all kinds of arts. Unlike them, I can only sing or dance and do everything. Later, I will give you some stunts, acrobatics, ventriloquism, imitation shows, songs, Yue Opera, sketches and plays. My ventriloquism is not like Lausanne. I can play a trombone and sing something. I didn't blow. My ventriloquism is unknown, but I can! I'm definitely not bragging. Please enjoy the wonderful program brought to you by my apprentice! I think this prologue is good, you can filter it for reference!
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