Funny phrases about your mood: Mothballs are the most disgusting hard candies I have ever eaten.

1． Don't fall in love with me, you're a hypocrite, let's get married if you can.

2. I am losing weight. I am neither dieting nor exercising. I am using my thoughts. I will lose weight. I will lose weight. I will lose weight.

3. I have always had the courage to admit my mistakes and never correct them.

4. When I walked to the examination room, I collapsed and cried when I saw the papers. I didn’t take the test on anything I memorized, and I didn’t know anything on the test.

5. There are some things that you don’t need to argue about, obey on the surface, and resist secretly.

6. Adolescent love is like spiritual opium. Whether you take it or not, there is always a group of Lin Zexu standing behind you.

7. Brothers are siblings, women are clothes. Whoever touches my limbs, I will take off his clothes.

8. After wearing bangs for a long time, if you suddenly lift them up and go out on the street, you will feel very insecure. You always feel like others are looking at you.

9． The long road of life is always lost.

10． Smurf sings to Avatar: When I grow up, I will become you.

11. The longer I interact with people, the more I like dogs. Dogs are always dogs, and sometimes people are not people.

12. The purpose of pinching the cross on a mosquito bite is to tell Jesus: cure it.

13. In order to save water, try to take a shower with your girlfriend

14. I’m curious: What did the first guy who knew milk was drinkable do to cows?

15． Life is like making a phone call, either you hang up first or I hang up first.

16. I saw my boyfriend and his sister flirting in my group, so when they were chatting in high spirits, I quietly dismissed the group.

17. Are you tired? Just be tired, comfort is reserved for the dead.

18. It turned out that I didn’t have anyone I liked at school, so I really had no motivation at all to go to school.

19. Every time I take a shower on the street, I feel like someone is watching me.

20. The opening ceremony for new students is just nonsense.

21. Today I saw a post from a mistress saying: Don’t be so mean as to steal other people’s boyfriends. I immediately laughed

22. School made me understand what the temptation of going home is.

23. Mothballs are the most disgusting hard candies I have ever tasted. It tastes so weird, so why would anyone buy it?

24. You exist in my staying up late yesterday, in my nights, in my dreams, and in my all-nighters. Goodbye, my summer vacation. Funny phrases to talk about your mood

1. In fact, it is not a good idea to express your feelings because it looks shady.

2. You are frozen to death in the north, while I am showing my thighs in the south.

3. I made 200 million, one has amnesia and the other has memories.

4. He is born with a villainous appearance, with a narrow forehead and a long mouth and tongue.

5. Eat more celery, no need to ask, it will lower blood pressure.

6. I don’t want eternity, I just want the happiness you give me.

7. Brother, let me throw a brick first. If there is jade, just throw it over.

8. It seems difficult to keep the things you like, such as money.

9. I asked the old lady to put on red lips and give you some color.

10. Others wear shorts to show off their legs, but I wear shorts to show off my fat body.

11. No one who is born is afraid of death, and no one who is photographed to death is born.

12. It’s strange that I am so lazy but miss you so hard.

13. Thank you for stealing my partner and letting me know that he is just like a dog.

14. Try messing with me and watch me teach your teeth to walk on the ground.

15. Without a strong master, don’t think that you can bite people just because you are a dog!

16. I hope to hold your hand and take a romantic walk with you one day.

17. The most honest moment in a man’s life is when he signs the marriage certificate.

18. You should be better than everyone else, but you have a mobile phone.

19. People who say good night and go to bed are often still upset half an hour later.

20. How did the pig die? How do I know if you're not dead yet?

21. Smart people are all unmarried. It is difficult for married people to become smart again!

22. Boss: Please collect it for me first, and come over and give it to me later.

23. Make more efforts while you are still alive, because we will all be dead for a long time.

24. Don’t show off your power in front of people with little power, and show off your power in front of people with power.

25. What is the minimum standard for being friends with you? It has to be a human being.

26. We cannot be born together, but we can harm the common people together.

27. I regard money as my grandson and you regard money as your biological father. Who do you think I am to you?

28. I don’t know much about music, so I am sometimes unreliable and sometimes out of tune.

29. Others point at your sore spots and laugh, but you can only smile stupidly.

30. I am not bright, charming, or gentle, but I love you more than just words.

31. I also want to be an elegant lady, but life has forced me to become a shrew.

32. The world belongs to us and our sons, but ultimately it belongs to the grandchildren.

33. Every time I quarrel with others, I always feel that I have not performed well and want to quarrel again.

34. It’s noon on hoeing day, so class is really hard. A small shabby book that can last all morning.

35. If I could travel through time and space, I would definitely plant a durian tree in front of Newton’s house.

36. I want to spend every hot summer and rainy day with you under an umbrella!

37. The three words "I love you" are the incense that enchants the soul. How many people have been deprived of their souls by it, leaving only their bodies.

38. If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will go to jail, I tell you.

39. It is said that long hair means short knowledge. Why are you, a bald man, so short of knowledge?

40. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do.

41. If you ignore me, I will become a dumpling, and I am the most famous one in Tianjin.

42. After the sports meeting, some people won rankings, while some people became emoticons.

43. In addition to cold fronts, there are warm fronts. I hope our relationship can become a quasi-stationary front.

44. In fact, I worked so hard to gain weight just to occupy more space in your heart.

45. God, I will never call you father again. You don’t love me as your granddaughter at all.

46. Rely on men, men will run away. If you lean on a tree, the tree will fall. Rely on yourself and you won’t run away.

47. That day, I put on the wedding dress and you put on the suit, how can I experience that kind of satisfaction.

48. Who is your mother? I want to ask her why she had so much courage to give birth to you.

49. I have a pretty good temper and I won’t be angry at all because of my bad temper.

50. Love is inherently a shameful project. Love has no truth, no truth, and no dignity.

51. It is our business to be a gangster or not, to be a naughty person or not. Don't worry, there's no need to argue behind your back.

52. Making money is a kind of ability, spending money is a kind of level. My ability is limited, but my level is indeed very high.

53. Before there was an iPhone in the world, vanity was not so portable and the threshold was not so low.

54. There is a kind of person who only does two things. If you succeed, he will be jealous of you; if you fail, he will laugh at you.

55. When a good friend has a partner, I feel like the pig I worked so hard to raise is being eaten.

56. When I want to shake hands with the person I like, I can probably only say: Let’s arm-wrestle.

57. Today someone called me a handsome guy. I rushed up angrily and slapped him. TM, isn’t this nonsense?

58. Don’t be complacent. Only villains know how to play dirty. Don’t admit that identity so quickly!

59. My dear, what I love is not your past, nor your family. What I love is only you now.

60. When the love is there, we call the words we say vows. When the love is gone, the vows are called dead words.

61. My girlfriend ate mutton skewers in one go, and her boyfriend said one word. Which word did you say, and your mouth was so horny?

62. Some people say that my photos are ugly, and I laugh. That’s because you haven’t seen me in person, and that’s how ugly I am!

63. Teachers always teach us to care for trees. But teacher, I want to tell you: it seems that trees have been made into test papers. .

64. My dream: Be a secretary when you have something to do, and be a secretary when you have nothing to do. The reality is: I can’t be a secretary if there’s something wrong, and I can’t be a secretary if there’s nothing wrong.

65. If your classmate suddenly faints, what measures should be taken immediately? Give him a slap first to see if he is faking it!

66. What does it mean to repay a drop of water with a spring of water? If someone touches you a drop of water, if you want it, just use a bucket of water to throw it over to death

67. Love once No regrets, although it hurts my heart, but when I think of your tenderness, in the snowy days, I will also see spring and miss you.

68. In high school, I had enough money to spend, but not enough sleep. In college, I had enough sleep, but not enough money to spend. After going to work, I didn’t have enough sleep, but not enough money to spend.

69. In fact, the most disloyal thing in the world is money. If we agree to go out together, then it won’t come back with me. It’s a waste of my heart and soul for it!

70. If something happens to you one day, please be sure to call me. I won’t say anything, and I can’t block the knife for you, but I can come out and be handsome to death.

71. The farthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death. But I stood in front of my future mother-in-law, but I could only call her aunt!

72. Back then, Xiao Yanzi became a director, Ziwei became a director, Fifth Prince became a director, Jin Suo became a goddess, and only Erkang became an emoticon.

73. Only your feet know the right shoes. Only your heart knows the right person. When you walk a thousand roads, only one is suitable. When you meet all kinds of people, one person is enough.

74. When a Samsung falls on the ground, it’s not the screen that breaks, but the heart; when an Apple falls on the ground, it breaks not the screen, but the kidneys; when Nokia falls on the ground, it breaks not the screen, but the floor tiles.

75. If there is no moon, I don’t have to miss you. If there is no sun, I will not miss you. Even if the sun and the moon reincarnate and the years fly by, how can I forget you.

76. Do you know that you can walk out of my sight but you can never walk away from my deep yearning for you; you can stay away from my figure but you can never stay away from my deep attachment to you.

77. Someone asked, how big is your school? I replied that the reason why the aunt who sells spicy hotpot in the west gate of our school refused the pursuit of the uncle who sells rice noodles in the east gate is because she doesn’t like long-distance relationships.

78. The teacher asked Xiao Ming a question in class, but Xiao Ming stood up but said nothing.

Teacher: Xiao Ming! What's the matter with you? Do you know the answer? At least give it a squeak! Xiao Ming: Zhi~

79. The courier called me early in the morning. As soon as he got through, he said: Hello, I am here. He settled for a few seconds, and then said, wait a minute. , let’s see what skill I have!

80. A friend of mine started a micro-business business. He quit after working for more than a month. He earned 380,000 yuan and is now free at home. I asked him how he made the money, and he said he was selling fake goods. His leg was broken and the insurance company paid for it.

81. There is a sissy in the class. One day, he had a quarrel with another classmate. The other classmate humiliated him and said: You are such a good mother! He said: Hello, son. The whole class was silent. After 3 seconds, there was thunderous applause.

82. In the biology class, the teacher said: In fact, weasels do not eat chickens. Scientists have done an experiment. They once locked a chicken and a weasel together. Guess what happened the next day? ? A classmate interjected: Is the chicken pregnant?

83. Just as I left the gate of the community in the morning, a five or six-year-old little loli hugged my thigh and cried: Uncle, please marry me! I was in a mess when I suddenly heard a voice behind me saying: Even if you are married, you still have to go to school for me today! QQ classic funny talk, funny talk about mood phrases

1. I used to be a top student, but I was just curious about the world of underachievers. I went in to take a look, and ended up getting lost.

2. Don't think of me as a love rival, don't worry, I don't like your partner.

3. The typhoon is coming. Please close your doors and windows. If I am blown to your house, I will not leave.

4. It was raining in the city where you live. I really wanted to ask you if you brought an umbrella, but I held back because I was afraid that you would say you didn't and I would laugh out loud.

5. When I was playing with my phone late at night, I was not only sentimental but also slapped in the face by my phone.

6. I am a person who is good at reflecting on myself. For example, after I slap you with my backhand, I will think about whether I hit you lightly.

7. Do you know how good I am in bed? I could lie down and sleep for a whole day without eating or drinking. Classic funny mood phrases.

8. I remember when I was young, my brother and I planned to steal money to buy food. Once, our parents found out and asked us to repeat the crime. When I pointed at the fifty yuan and said, "Look, brother, let's use it to buy something to eat," this guy actually said, "No, brother, we can't do this!"

9． When I said "go away" instead of "guai", I knew that I couldn't win this quarrel.

10． My class is, at best, colorful and ever-changing; at worst, it is like a mental hospital.

11. One day, Bai Suzhen farted, and Xu Xian suddenly realized: Madam, could it be that you are a rattlesnake?

12. What is a master? It is to be able to judge the opponent's intention in an instant, and then kill the opponent invisibly. For example, I: Mom, I think my mom: No money!

13. I am so beautiful. First of all, I have to thank my parents. If they hadn't given me a pair of skillful hands, would I have been able to make myself so beautiful?

14. Life is not just about the things in front of you, but also the invitations from your ex.

15. Kidnapper: I have your class teacher in my hands. Student: I won’t give you money. Kidnapper: I'll let him go immediately if you don't pay him. Student: I’ll collect the money right away.

16． Just now I was lying on the balcony upstairs eating pie, and I heard a conversation between a man and a woman downstairs. The boy said: Can you fall in love with me? The girl said coldly: If you want to talk to me, it will be pie-in-the-sky. As soon as I heard this, I threw the pie on the girl's head. Come on, brother can only help you so far!

17. Holding the charging and hot mobile phone, putting life and death aside, this is a rare brave moment in my life.

18. There is no need to quarrel between women, as long as you are prettier than her.

19. You are only twenty years old. It is normal that you have not met someone you like. As time goes by, you will find that you probably will never meet someone again.

20. I like to eat with knowledgeable people. As long as I ask a question that they are good at, then, for the next two hours, the food will be mine.

21. When you get married in the future, if the groom is not me, I will move in next door to your house and treat your children better than my own, until your husband doubts his life.

22. I want to kiss you. If you agree, we start kissing. If you don’t agree, I start kissing you forcefully.

23. I am relatively fat. Taking the bus one day, there were many people and it was very crowded. An old man was pushed over by the crowd, and I was about to get up and give up my seat. As a result, the uncle said in horror: Don't move, you will take up more space if you stand up!

24. When I came home from school, I saw my mother working hard in the kitchen cooking for me. They were all my favorites and most wanted to eat. Thinking of the simple food at home, I couldn't help but feel a sore nose. Just when I was about to speak, my mother turned around and saw I was shocked and said with a look of astonishment: Today is not the weekend, why are you back?

More QQ classic funny stories

Collection of classic funny stories: Mathematics is actually very simple, but the remaining 90 points are difficult

Funny classic stories Talk about mood phrases. Funny phrases about mood.

1. Children without umbrellas must run hard.

2. It is so classic now, but so thrilling in the past.

3. When you see someone on the road, roar unyieldingly, then continue walking forward after roaring.

4. Life is full of disappointments that can change with circumstances.

5. If you wear the mask for too long, it will grow on your face. If you want to take it off again, you will have to peel off the skin.

6. I am not a fortune teller on the bridge, and I can’t talk as much as you like to hear.

7. To be a man, you should be like Chen Zhen who beats Japanese men and plays with Japanese women.

8. The first thing you do when you get up in the morning is to open your eyes, and the first thing you do when you go to bed at night is to close your eyes.

9. This evil new society, why don’t you have arranged marriages?

10. If I couldn’t beat you, I would have fallen out with you long ago.

11. I don’t have a pot. If I had a pot, I would stew you!

12. The reasons for insomnia are too full, too hungry or missing you too much

13. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself: If you eat too much, you will die. But it turns out that I am really not afraid of death.

14. People who care don’t understand, and people who understand don’t care.

15. The monks are very fashionable because they all wear harem pants.

16. The three most confusing sentences in class: Why are you reading? Look at the blackboard! Why are you looking at the blackboard? Look at me! What are you looking at me for? Read a book!

17. People who liked me and treated me well when I was fat will definitely repay you when I lose weight.

18. Dogs are always dogs, and sometimes people are not people.

19. I heard that you are very thin-skinned recently, and you are almost gone?

20. After the vicissitudes of life, why do we remain as lonely as before but would rather be strangers.

21. Look at your appearance, you look like you are joking!

22. It doesn’t mean that equality between men and women is now implemented, why can’t I? Go to the women's restroom.

23. The final review for top students before the exam is called checking for omissions and filling in vacancies, for those who are average, it is called Jingwei filling up the sea, for those who are close, it is called Nuwa mending the sky, and for me, it is called creating the world.

24. A bitch is a bitch, even if the economy is in crisis, it won’t be expensive!

25. Thank you for hypocrisy and sudden sincerity, thank you for making lies come true.

26. It’s not that good medicine tastes bitter, but why has it never been effective?

27. There are only two kinds of people who can play with me, and one is those who can tolerate my neurosis. People, one is a neurotic person like me.

28. Can you blame me for your round face? Can you blame me if the food is delicious?

29. A man’s strength is the RMB in your pocket.

30. For Bai Fumei, you have achieved three points - idiot, rich, and stinky

31. Forgive me for often pretending to be indifferent even though I clearly care.

32. The couple has never had a quarrel in the more than 20 years of marriage. Reporter interviews husband: How did you do it? Husband answered: The day my daughter-in-law got married, the dog roared at her, and she said calmly, this

33. Xiang Yang: Some people say that insomnia is because you are busy working hard in other people's dreams

34. Cherish what you can have and give up what you can’t get. Why not?

35. The most frustrating time in the exam was when I saw a question. I vaguely remembered that the teacher said it, but I clearly remembered that I didn’t listen.

36. The supermarket is so cheating, the original price is 10.00 Yuan, the special price is 9.99 Yuan. If you have the ability, give me 1 cent.

37. I once owned you, and the thought of it makes me sad.

38. Hard-working people eat food from the world. Hell's work.

39. There are only women who die for love, but there are no infatuated men.

40. I shine in this beautiful moment as a god. Don’t disturb me.

41. Life is a chess game, and I am willing to be a pawn. Although I move slowly, who has ever seen it? I took a step back.

42. Do you know that the biggest advantage of humans evolving from walking on four limbs to walking on two limbs is that they save two pairs of shoes?

43. Don’t say sorry to me if you are hypocritical. , you get out is the best apology!

44. No matter how much you make a girl laugh, it is nothing more important than a man who makes her cry once. These words gave me insomnia for a long time.

45. If your mind is not as big as the sea, how can you have a career as big as the sea?

46. The sleepless night slowly drifts over (╰_╯)#

47. No one holds my hand, so I just put it in my pocket.

48. For a person like you, in the TV series I direct, you can survive for at most two episodes.

49. Tell me, do you want to die or not live anymore?

50. When you see through, pretend not to see through.

51. I have made so many mistakes that I don’t even know where I went wrong now.

52. Often you can’t afford the clothes you fall in love with at first sight. The person who falls in love with you at first sight will often not like you.

53. When you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket, shake the Coke, pound the rice vat, break Dove, squeeze Master Kong.

54. The air purifier is the most pretentious home appliance I have ever seen, especially like us in the classroom pretending to listen.

55. Don’t always think that being tanned will cover up the fact that you are an idiot

56. During sleepless nights, those sheep will look like you

57. You have to know that Deluxe’s future will not be too bright, so we don’t have to be so pure.

58. Life is wonderful, with food, drink and a computer.

59. You are a very kind person, especially when you feel sorry for others.

60. I hate hearing the word "sorry". This means that I have been taken advantage of by someone, or that I have been taken advantage of. Cheated, even let down.

61. You are so awesome, why don’t you have your photo hanging in Tiananmen Square?

62. I just had a phone interview and talked about anecdotes from my student days.

Ask me how my grades were back then. Did I serve as monitor or something? I was really not sure, so I turned around and asked my wife in a low voice, were you the class monitor when you were in school? My wife nodded. I turned to the phone and said: Yes, I did it.

63. We are all tired. I didn’t shed tears and you didn’t regress.

64. Sanitary napkins are so expensive, can we still afford them?

65. Today’s dreams are not meant to be realized, because if you put your dreams in front of reality, they won’t even count.

66. Will someone who has insomnia fall in love at night? Confess to you

67. I don’t listen to anything outside the window and only watch soap operas.

68. The only difference between a friend and an assassin is: when an assassin stabs you in the back, you turn around and say in pain, ah, who are you? -A friend stabs you in the back. You turn around and say in surprise, "Ah, it's you!"

69. Don’t lose sleep all night when I tell you a story.

70. First love is infinitely better, but it is too late.

71. Not knowing is sad, not wanting to know is even sadder.

72. Some men are as smart as the weather and changeable. Some women are as stupid as weather forecasters, and they can’t tell when the weather is changing.

73. Other people’s money is something that belongs to me.

74. Let it be. Even if I like you very much, I can’t disturb you all the time. I hope you can think about me occasionally.

75. High-tech era, high-tech talents. Instead of kneeling on the washboard, let’s go home and kneel on the washing machine.

76. If handsomeness can be used as food, my appearance can feed you for two lifetimes.

77. The most beautiful thing is sleeping with you, which is called sleeping with you.

78. Don’t make promises to me easily, I’m afraid you can’t do it.

79. It is said: women are as fickle as the weather, and men are like weather broadcasters- -Unreliable.

80. When you feel lonely and helpless, think about the hundreds of trillions of cells that live just for you.

81. Buying a computer but not having broadband is like having all the food and wine prepared but becoming a monk before eating.

82. We women are the only flowers in the world, so where do we get so much cow dung?

83. Some questions have no answer, which is the final answer. Nothing is the best outcome.

84. God has not given me any great responsibility, so why do I have to suffer so much from my will, my muscles, and my body?

85. Hold your hand and walk with me with your eyes closed. You won't get lost either.

86. A word of caution to all parents: Please do not call your children little bastards, because from a genetic point of view, this is very detrimental to you.

87. True trust is when you say: I fart not smelly, and she will never cover her nose.

88. I like your personality, but I don’t like your gender.

89. Just like every drop of wine cannot return to the original grapes, I cannot return to my youth.

90. If you don’t harm others, you are contributing to society!