What are some misleading jokes?

I remember when I was a child, the primary school teacher scolded a student: "I will kick you out with a slap!" " We want to laugh but dare not.

2, a literary evening, the host came to the stage and announced: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! Pores are creepy!

3. A chubby boy said angrily: If the tiger doesn't give the cat, you think I'm dead!

4. I remember a buddy in our dormitory grabbed someone else's buns and said while eating: this thing is only suitable for buttocks.

5. My classmate's high school classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle restaurant and shook his hair cool: "Boss, no onion rice noodles!"

After that, I added: "More rice noodles!" Boss: "Do you want rice noodles or onions?"

6. Once my classmate's mother called.

I am used to saying "he is not in", but this time I want to say "he is out"

The result is: "He ... left"! 7. My sister and I went to Li Ning to buy shoes. My sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?" 8. One of my junior high school classmates likes to touch other people's heads. One day, he touched people's heads and said, "My head is quite round." That classmate was annoyed and took his hand and said, "Don't pull my eggs here."

9. Go to a restaurant one day and check out after eating. I called: husband ~ check out! ! ! ! (The proprietress was behind me at that time) 10. When I go back to the dormitory, I always ask "Is anyone calling me?"11.The test score is very low. I complain bitterly that my grades are too cheap! 12, once a foreign teacher gave a lecture in a big classroom to show Mandarin. I wanted to give him a face and praise him for speaking standard Mandarin, but exporting became your standard. 13, before my mother went out to play mahjong, she said to me, "You put all your clothes in the refrigerator and pick up all the dishes in the washing machine." 14. When you are sitting in a restaurant, just make a phone call and the network management will serve you.

15, once I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?" 16, a girl fell in love, and I advised her: "Toads with two legs are hard to find, and men with three legs are plenty!" 17, two people bickered, and suddenly a person next to them came out and said, "You are really full and have nothing to do!" 18, a group of students went to their home in the suburbs to play. We bought some watermelons to put in the kitchen. I asked a classmate to take a knife to cut it. I haven't been back for a long time. While wondering, he came over with a cut melon in his hand and said in a panic, I cut the pumpkin. Everyone laughed wildly, but two seconds later, everyone laughed even harder. It turned out that he had a melon in his hand. When he was in college, a classmate quarreled with me, and he was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, he got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid! 20. When I was a cashier, a woman once took a pack of sanitary napkins to pay the bill. After checking out, I wanted to say "please take care", but I accidentally said "please enjoy your meal"?

2 1, I met a long-awaited girl who came out of the bathhouse and wanted to get close. For a long time, I said, "Take a shower. Are there many men in it?"