Super funny jokes and jokes?

1. I called my best friend and asked her to go shopping with me. My best friend said weakly: I am upset and insomnia these days, and I am in acupuncture. Go by yourself. . . Hearing this, the landlord asked with concern: Is it so serious? May I visit you? Where do you do acupuncture? Girlfriend: Hotel. .

There is an older shy man in the company who recently got a sister, but their relationship has been tepid. Several old drivers of the company surrounded him and gave him advice, persuading him to invite his sister to watch the evening show at night and then take her to the hotel. . . The next day, everyone asked him, did he and his sister go to the hotel? He looked depressed: I just opened the room and she left angrily. She scolded me for not being frugal. Why should I open two rooms in such an expensive hotel?

3. If the beauty you like is asked what kind of person you like ... * * Alice will say, "I'm not demanding, you can do it ..." Gao Fushuai will say, "I'm demanding! At least like you! " ... this is the fucking difference!

4. I remember the first time I took a roller coaster, and the screams came and went! Spit me out. The point is that when I got off the bus, I still had a piece of gum in my mouth. This is not my fucking benefit!

Although my boyfriend is so kind to me, my family will break up if they don't agree. This farewell is in an empty street. I was going to break up happily and peacefully, but I didn't expect to hold KFC. Then I asked him: Is this the legendary breakup bubble? "My boyfriend took a drag on his cigarette and said firmly," No, even if it is fate, we still love each other. If your husband doesn't accept it, we'll do it in secret.

6. At lunch today, my father said that my mother was snoring in bed, and I couldn't laugh. My mother is anxious to say how normal it is for women to snore! Many women are snoring now! Ask your dad! My dad jumped up and said, I know you, how can I know other women ... In the sun, I seem to see the fine sweat on my dad's forehead!

7. My cousin brought his girlfriend back to play in the afternoon. I picked up a cup of coffee and accidentally spilled it on his girlfriend's foot. My cousin yelled at me: "A cup of coffee is not good. What do you eat! " Then my aunt silently washed his girlfriend's shoes and my uncle gave me 500 yuan.

8. My little aunt has never been to school, and I don't know anyone. Then there was cancer, and the doctor concluded that she would not live for three months. My little brother refused to give up, took her to chemotherapy, and at the same time concealed her cancer, telling her that her blood was bad and she needed treatment. Because my aunt can't read, she doesn't know what's wrong with her. I didn't know I was cancer after I was hospitalized, but I was still optimistic ... It's been three years now, and I'm fine ... My mother said that if I could read and know I was cancer, I would leave that year. so this is it？ Knowledge changes fate!