"I only take my grandchildren when I am distressed by my children, but I am really tired." Old people with grandchildren say that it is not good to be a free nanny. what do you think?

The game between old parents and young parents? The greatest filial piety to parents is nothing more than giving them a good look.

A friend complained to me the day before yesterday that her parenting sister-in-law left again because she was going back to her hometown to take care of her grandchildren, and this is the second parenting sister-in-law who resigned for the same reason. "In fact, both aunts don't want to go, but they dare not fight with their children. The child asked, I can only accept it. Now that the aunt has won, it is said that the daughter-in-law is very unhappy ... The old man is actually very weak. Many children in China are used to thinking about themselves first. They never thought that parents also need their own lives, instead of living in their children's houses separately from their wives, and being a free nanny while being complained. "

As an experienced person, I understand this passage very well. There are really many old people around me who don't want to take care of their children-they have great responsibilities, are tired and tired, and may be complained by their children at any time, but the reality is that many old people have to compromise and take care of their children.

Among them, children have children's sufferings, and old people have old people's sufferings. However, as children, we should remember that they have no obligation to help you with your children, and it is their obligation not to take them; Yes, it's mutual affection. No matter what happens, you should give your parents a good look. A smile on your face is enough to wash away their fatigue.

Oral record emotion series

0 1.

Old people with children have a lot of helplessness and sadness.

@ Qingyue

In our community, many grandmothers live in children's homes and help to take care of them. Their daily work is washing clothes, cooking, washing dishes, looking after children and cleaning rooms. There is no salary, no rest days, and some even give money to children. Some of these old people are willing, but more out of love for their children, they have to come to help. Complaining is not normal, but old people really have a lot of helplessness and sadness, especially grandmothers, who are more likely to be accused, scolded and have conflicts with their daughters-in-law.

Nowadays, many children always think that parents take care of their children for granted. For example, the parents of a colleague of mine, with two sisters, are running at both ends of the city. In fact, their parents are only in their early 50 s, and they are not young, living a life without freedom. My colleagues, however, had no idea that their parents had their own needs.

In other words, the biggest injustice for the elderly to help their children take care of their children is that on the one hand, children take it for granted; On the other hand, many elderly people are not only disrespected when they volunteer to work, but also often accused of "not getting a good job after paying", which is the most unbearable injury for the elderly.

In fact, there are many old people around who are unwilling to help with the children, because it is really tiring to take care of the children, and just because they can't bear to see the children working too hard, they bite their teeth to share. Therefore, as children, we must remember:

Raising children is the obligation of parents, but there is no obligation to raise grandchildren, and the elderly also have the right to live their own lives.

Many old people in China give their time to their children. Even if they help, we should respect their efforts. I really can't show them materially and economically. Please take a good look at them. For them, a child's good face is the best placebo.

If possible, try to bring your own, which is the responsibility and obligation of parents.

02.

I don't want to, and I'm helpless.

It's raining.

I am ashamed to say that I am one of the NEET in disguise-my children are brought up by my mother-in-law and mother in turn.

However, I also have my difficulties. After giving birth, I was in a situation that most young couples had to face-

I work from nine to five during the day and go home at night; Husband is an IT worker, working 996 hours, working overtime from time to time; Our working condition means that no one has time to take care of the children during the day. If you want to take care of them by yourself, you can either quit your job and stay at home as a full-time parent or hire a nanny. One party resigns, and economic conditions do not allow it; Please hire a nanny, my monthly income is just enough for the nanny fee, and we are not at ease when the nanny takes care of the children; Finally, there is only one way left-ask parents for help. ...

I think this may be the life state of most novice mothers.

Actually, in my heart, I don't want my mother-in-law or my mother to take care of me. Speaking of free babysitters and free babysitters, I can't help feeling sorry for them. They have worked hard all their lives, and finally retired easily, and they have to be cattle and horses for their grandchildren. This is really unfair. However, the real problem lies here. If I don't invite them to help me with my children, it seems that there are only two ways-no birth.

The only thing I can do is to go home from work and help in the kitchen. After dinner, I will take the children to take a bath and sleep. When my husband has a rest on weekends, I will try to give them a holiday. It's unfilial to do so, but I'm also helpless.

03.

Hold the money field and don't go out.

@ Happy Mama Lin

Since my son went to college, I have been brainwashing him that I will not take care of his children in the future. At first he foolishly asked me why. I always smile and throw him a joke: "I've brought you enough." Later, he gradually understood the way of the world, and we began to seriously discuss love, marriage and pension. I solemnly told him that I would not help him with his children in the future for four reasons:

First, you can only know your parents' good by raising children. Only by raising children in person can you truly realize what is called "family" and "responsibility", and can you truly realize the hardships of life and the hard-won happiness.

Second, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an eternal problem. Keeping a proper distance will help two generations of women live in harmony.

Third, there are great disadvantages and problems in intergenerational education. Age will limit my thinking to keep up with the development of the times, and blood relationship will make me unable to resist meddling and doting. For the healthy growth of children, parents' education is still the main thing.

Fourth, I need to have my own life, and I don't want to be bound by my children and grandchildren all my life.

The son readily accepted these four reasons. Now, he has talked about a girlfriend, and he is already in the stage of talking about marriage. When talking about whether to help with the children again, I reiterated my point of view, but his father added a supplementary agreement:

"I can also help you with your children in the future, with a monthly salary of 6,000 and a rest for half a year."

Haha, this is more like a joke. If we don't help with the children in the future, but the in-laws or nannies do, I will make up some money for them every month. It is their own business to raise grandchildren, but I am China's parents, and my love will eventually flow to them. I think it is best to support the money market than the people market.