2 funniest jokes

1. Military training for students has three advantages: training students' endurance, physical strength and vitality; Train the spirit, soul and physique of soldiers; Highlight the students' style, style and scenery. I wish the students practice their skills and show their heroic spirit.

2. When you were in love with your youth, you said you loved my battered face. In the twilight years, when you supported me, you said that you were born without me. When life and death leave, I finally know your true wish. Dear, happy April Fool's Day!

3. A Q main message: If you want to contact me, please fly to the Antarctic continent. I am playing with a snow storm. Someone replied: I saw you in the game just now, so we are in the South Pole! The earth turns very fast!

4. A newly married daughter-in-law, having dinner with her parents' restaurant that day, received a strange phone call while eating, and said, "Boy, I'm your father." I reflected the express: "liar!" My dad is sitting opposite me for dinner! " And then I hung up. After hanging for a while, my mother said faintly, "It won't be your father-in-law, will it?"

5. In the 21st century, you let me see the non-mainstream in the 22nd century. You are simply a top-notch idiot. About your birth, the world is doomed to waste rice, money, places and even air. How wasteful do you think your birth is? Please don't talk to me with your excretory organs. It's very impolite. Thank you!

6. Customer: What is the best-selling steamed stuffed bun here? Me: Fresh meat package. Customer: Then give me a sprout.

7. On the 318th day of the spring return to the earth, the lucky stars shine brightly into thousands of families, and your family's leisure and wealth enter the home. The box is full of lucky money, and I wish you unlimited money. May your financial resources roll home on March 18th.

8. In a Chinese class, the teacher asked: What is the next sentence in the twilight of a martyr? A classmate didn't hear this sentence, but heard it as "in front of the tomb of the martyrs", so he opened his mouth and replied: On the way to the grave. The whole class fainted and the teacher vomited blood.

9. One day, I was on the bus when I heard a "bump". I didn't know what it was, but I suddenly saw a man, looking around. Oh, I see. It turned out that he farted.

1. I gave my mother 5 yuan, then she counted it and gave me 1 yuan. She said in a generous tone, "I'll give you 1 yuan. Look how good your mother is to you." I want to say: that money is all mine.

11. Many years ago, when we were on a business trip, two people rode a motorcycle. In winter, I sat in the back. Although I was wearing a cotton coat, my hand blown by the wind was too cold, so I put it behind him to keep warm. The road was bumpy, and then the guy in front said, what do you want? Your guy is about to stick it in my fucking ass!

12, moonlit night, in the park. Girl: "There is no woman less fortunate than me, and no one loves me." Young man: "But there are people who love you very much." Girl: "Ah, who is it?" Hold the young man's hand at the same time. Young man: "God!" "Why do you always close your eyes every time I kiss you?" "I didn't see Ai"

13. Dear, whenever I lie in your warm arms, I wish time could stop at this happy moment, but I can't stop the passage of time. Now I have to leave you, dear, under the covers!

14, a colleague, while resting and sleeping at noon, suddenly said, the blood trough is full, zoom in! When others were still ignorant, they suddenly smelled the smell of the house. NM makes your blood tank full, making you zoom in, and today TM makes you unable to take care of yourself!

15. Part One: Play the fool and don't understand, and come to work diligently. The bottom line: calm and forget the light wind and rain, and live safely. Horizontal criticism: the necessary rules for employees

16. Girlfriend soliloquize: Sooner or later, should we make a decision now? When my boyfriend heard this, he comforted me: Honey, if you feel right, don't hesitate. I support you. After a while, my girlfriend said firmly: Let's break up!

17. A mosquito stared at your face and couldn't pull out its mouth. I regret it. After I died, I told all the mosquitoes about it, so everyone knew that you were too thick-skinned.

18. Student Edition: There are a group of college students on this side of the mountain and on the other side of the sea. They are beautiful and smart. They are tall and handsome. They came to the campus happily, and they unconsciously wanted to fall in love. Oh, fashionable college students, oh, trendy college students, they are full of knowledge and determination to rise, and they swear to carry their love to the end.

19-and 6-year-old peaches rummaged around in the study, jumping around, causing their father, who was reading a book, to frown: "Good boy, go outside and play. Dad is reading here!" Peach tilted his head, looked at him and said, "No, I don't think you!" "

2. Just on the train, I heard a sister chatting with a mother with children. She said that when she brought her sister, her parents were not at home. When her sister cried, she poured wine into her sister, and she stopped crying for a while. I wonder how her sister is living now.