Selected short jokes

In the hotel lobby, a very thin man met a very fat man.

The fat man said, "judging from your appearance, there may be a famine."

"Yes," replied the thin man. "Judging from your appearance, you may have caused the famine."

2. Humorous patients and doctors

The doctor said discontentedly to the patient, "You must have drunk too much again! Tell me honestly, how much do you drink every day? " "Four bottles of beer." "Didn't I tell you that you are only allowed to drink two bottles a day?" "Yes, but the doctor who treated me before told me to drink 2 bottles a day!

3. Doctors and patients who are completely out of step

A man went to see a doctor and said to the doctor, "My leg is inflamed." Doctor: "Let me see." He lifted his trousers, revealing a black and dirty leg. Doctor: "I bet your legs are the dirtiest in this city." The man immediately replied, "doctor, you lost." Look at my other leg, 1. "

4. Why does the patient have a fracture?

A broken patient went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor asked him why he was broken.

The man said there was sand in my shoes, so I took off my shoes to hold the telephone pole and shake the sand out of my shoes. I don't know who thought I got an electric shock, so he came forward and gave me a stick.

5. Interesting Chinese character dialogue

The mouth said to Nye: The taste of electric shock is unpleasant. Right? J said: Your second-floor villa is really beautiful! Feelings about catfish: The higher you climb, the more painful you fall. I feel sorry for you: money is different. Such a strong house, we also have two bodyguards at the door.

6. Lively Chinese characters are like building a house.

The prisoner said to the tenant, you are so strange. You stay outside this four-bedroom house every day. Why don't you go in and live? The tenant said, the prisoner said, look at this suite. It doesn't even have doors or windows. Can I come in and live? You can go into your room, but I didn't see you come out.

7, 1 10? I want to report

" 1 10? I want to call the police! Someone always kicks me here! ! ! "

"Okay, don't worry, we'll send someone over. Where are you? "

"The landlord telecom room 86, table 47.

8. The convenience brought by high technology

The leader asked me, why didn't I send you a message?

I said I didn't see it. I'm sorry. Look right now.

At the first glance, the text message told me to look at the WeChat record. Click on WeChat and find a QQ message: "I sent you an email in my mailbox."

I immediately felt the convenience brought by high-tech life.

9. A child who can't talk

My nephew in grade one asked me: Aunt, a snake chased a frog to the river, and the frog plopped into the river, splashing countless waves.

I ...

10, distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors.

When you really need money badly, you find that distant relatives are not as easy to steal as close neighbors.

1 1, slip of the tongue

Shopping outside with my mother, when I mentioned a headache, I slipped a sentence. My mother bought me some birth control pills. I feel terrible. Just finished, I saw pedestrians and my mother looking at me strangely. Did I say something wrong?

12, the child's name

A friend's surname is Yin, and my favorite son asked me to give him a name the other day. I said, I hope your son will be strict with himself in the future, just call it strict ~ he thinks it's not bad … I met him today and he chased me …

13, does it hurt?

Junior high school likes a girl. Once she squeezed my hand and asked me if it hurt. I said it didn't hurt! ! As a result, she kept pushing, and finally my hand was pinched and bleeding, and I said it didn't hurt. . As a result, she was not only unmoved, but also told others everywhere that I didn't know the pain. .

14, otherwise

"Come on, go out to play with ammonia.

"I have seen through the indifference of this world and just want to get rid of it."

"Speak human words"

"It's so cold outside, I don't want to move."

15, praised

On the high-speed rail, the old man next to me praised me vigorously. The young man lives a very elegant life, eating eight-treasure porridge, adding biscuits and drinking boiled water, unlike other young people who eat junk food! Grandpa, can I say I'm poor?

16, don't eat more lotus roots.

A: It is said that eating too much lotus root will make it ugly.

B: Why?

Because eating lotus roots is ugly. .

17, open sesame

I went to my classmate's house to play. When I got to the door and heard him shout open sesame, I laughed at his naivety. I'm sure nobody cares about you, but the door opened and his sister opened. I went in to say hello to his sister. That's very kind of you. Your brother is so naive that you still play with him. As a result, she glared at me and said, my name is sesame. . . .

I want to buy a pet.

Wife: "Honey, people want to buy pets ~"

Husband: "OK, what do you want to buy?"

Wife: "Cheetah, Land Rover can do it"

Husband: "Can you change it to a smaller one?"

Wife: "The cat that day."

Lv You 19

High school classmate, named Lv You. Every time I go to find her girlfriend, she calls her name downstairs, Lv You. His girlfriend knew he was coming and made an excuse to see him. Then they really hit it off. When his girlfriend took him to meet his parents, she said, this is my boyfriend, Lv You. Her mother said: There is also a Lv You near our home. I always hear someone calling him!

20. Favorite shutdown location

"Where do users like to turn off their phones?"

Ningbo "

"Why?"

"Sorry, the subscriber you dialed (Ningbo) is power off."

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