Urgent! ! ! A humorous sketch script about campus.

Humorous comic dialogue sketch short play lines

Campus sketch

Characters: Communist Youth League Secretary, Xiao Ai, Xiaoling and Xiao Wu.

Scene: classroom

League branch secretary: classmates, classmates, comrades and compatriots. . . Same. . . Why? Please listen to me!

Three people: Go ahead.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you listening?

Three people: I'm listening!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Really?

Three people: Really!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you sure?

Three people: OK.

Communist Youth League Secretary: No remorse?

Three people: no regrets.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you serious? Did you lie to me?

Three people: Do you want to talk or not?

Communist Youth League Secretary: Oh, I'm starting to talk! -What am I going to say?

Three people fainted.

Youth League Secretary: Ah! ! ! ! exactly

Three people sit up.

Youth League Secretary: I really forgot what I was going to say!

Three people fainted again.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Well, get to the point, you can't get drunk again! You should keep working hard, be self-reliant, volunteer, stand on your own feet, stand on your own feet, stand on your own feet. . . Make good changes and boycott Japanese goods!

Xiaoling: What a mess!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Xiaoling! Why do you sleep in class?

Xiaoling: I was sleepy and fell asleep!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Why don't you sleep in the dormitory?

Xiaoling: I think! But the teacher won't let me go!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Can't you sleep after class?

Xiaoling: I sleep after class!

Communist Youth League Secretary: What to do in the evening?

Xiaoling: What do you do at night?

Communist Youth League Secretary: Go to sleep!

Xiaoling: We have the same habits!

Communist Youth League Secretary: What do you do besides sleeping?

Xiaoling: It's very important! -Eat!

Communist Youth League Secretary: What about studying?

Freshman: "(walking out of the platform, as if wandering) I am a freshman in Grade #, 16 years, unmarried. I, a very talented person, have great momentum. I know everything from astronomy to geography. Today, I suddenly heard that my students are going to recruit new students as cadres. Originally, I was not interested in being an official, but I heard that being a student union cadre is quite imposing. Go and have a look! "

(shaking to the student union)

Freshman: "Wow! As soon as you enter the door, it is the learning department. Our school really focuses on learning! "

Department cadre: (As soon as the freshmen entered the door, they met the department minister, who was reading a book of poetry in her hand) "Is there frost on the bright line at the foot of my bed?" . Looking up, I found it was moonlight, sinking again, and I suddenly thought of home! " (Khan! ! ! ! ! )

Freshman: (applauding him, of course, in a flattering tone) "This must be the Minister of Learning!" Come and see me, junior! ! "(hands bow)

Learning cadre: "Oh, yes, I am the minister of learning department who claims to gather the top learning backbone of the whole school!" " (smug) I wonder what's the matter with this brother? "

Freshman: "I'm here to apply for the position of student union cadre. I was in your learning department as soon as I came in, and I was attracted by your voice, so I applied in your learning department first! " I don't know what it takes to be a cadre. "

Learning cadres: "Dare to think and do! Brother is really ambitious. The conditions are hard to say, but we need some basic things. " (Shen takes a positive and negative look)

Freshman: "What is it?" (looks curious, looks at her hand)

Learning cadres: "(facing the audience) For example, the academic performance should be ranked in the top ten of the whole school. In fact, I am the first in my grade, so I have relaxed my requirements for you. This is the most important; Then, if I want to know a musical instrument, such as piano or flute, I know three musical instruments! (turning to the freshman, watching him motionless, and then turning to the audience) So I relaxed my requirements for you; Of course, I also have the same ability to appreciate art (freshmen immediately spit out when they heard this and ran off the stage). There is no need to be as poetic as I am, but they should have the same hobbies as me. Finally ... huh? Where are people? "

(Before he finished, the freshman was gone. )

Cadre: "Why are students so impatient now? Forget it. Even if I am the only one in the Ministry, I can hold up a sky! I am so poetic! ! ! HOHOHO！ The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already? ... "(read aloud from the audience)

Freshman: "(running to face the audience) Wow! I didn't expect there to be such narcissists in the learning department. If I am elected, it will be miserable! Go to another department. Huh? There is a girls' department in the student union? I don't know if this department is closely related to MM? " (a rather lewd expression appears)

Female cadre: (Seeing someone outside the door, she comes out and asks) "What can this classmate do for you?" I am the Minister of Female Student Affairs of the Student Union. "

Freshman: "(whispering) Wow! The girls' department really hides beautiful women. Hey, big sister, I'm here to apply for the position of student union cadre. "

Female cadre: "Oh, welcome, which department do you want to apply for?"

Freshman: "this ... hey!" " Only your girls' department! "

Female cadres: (facing the audience) "Ah? But our girls' department has never received male cadres. Because a lot of work in our department is centered on girls, all in order to let girls have a better study and living environment, you are a boy ... "

Freshman (crazy, suddenly want to open): "Sister, this statement is poor!" " There was Shang Yang's political reform in ancient times, and now the United States is attacking Iraq. There are exceptions to everything, and everything seeks innovation. I always care about girls in every way. Girls' problems are my problems, and girls' troubles are my troubles, big sister! For the happiness of hundreds of girls in our school, please let me join the girls' department ... "(kneeling on one knee, decisive)

Female cadre: "... OK, OK, OK, I'll take you there, and our department will make an exception and accept you as a male cadre." Then you come with me now to solve an urgent girl problem ... "

Freshman: "Oh? What's the problem? "

Female cadres: "Alas, although we girls usually love to talk and laugh (there are pictures of two girls joking on the table), we sometimes have some minor conflicts." It's not true that two girls in Grade Two are quarreling over a trivial matter now ... "(Don't make any noise when you start quarreling, be more intense, this is sudden).

Freshman: "Hey, isn't it just girls quarreling?" I'm going to solve it ... "(I just wanted to leave, but I was pulled back)

Female cadre: "Wait ... you don't know. Our girls' problems are small and big. If you don't handle it well, they may ... "

Freshman (scared): "What will happen ..." (Two girls watch the platform together)

Female cadres: "Grasp the hair (new students hold their heads), hook their nostrils (cover their noses), tear their clothes ..." (At this time, the two of them are at the table, and the female cadres do what they say, just for fun)

Freshman: "(hands blocking chest) Wow! Indecent assault! ! "

Female cadres: "Are you afraid?"

Freshman: "Ah ... no, no ... this dress of mine belongs to Metersbonwe Bang Wei Bang Wei. This question is not suitable for a boy like me. Let's leave it to you girls to solve it yourself! I walked first ... "

Female cadres: "Hey! Don't go! We girls need you ... "(chasing the freshmen off the stage and coming back soon, I said to the audience," Hey, let me solve the girl problem myself! ") As he spoke, he went over and said a few words to the two girls, and then the three of them walked down the steps together.

Freshman: (running on stage again) "These girls are really troublesome! Forget it, then go to other departments. "

Veteran cadre: (appears from the opposite side) "Alas ..."

Freshman: "Hey? Why does this big brother sigh? Is it also for girls? "

Veteran cadres: "Oh! No, no, I'm the Minister of Labor and Health. (To the audience) It has always been our bounden duty to let everyone live in an elegant campus, study in a bright and clean classroom and rest in a tidy dormitory. (I didn't return to absolute being for a long time, and then I brushed it at the freshmen.) Excuse me, are you ... "

Freshman: "(To say the least) I have heard a lot about the Ministry of Labor and Health. My brother is here today to apply for the post of cadre of the Ministry of Labor and Health ... "

Veteran cadres: "Good! You come with me at once! " (Pull up a freshman and talk while walking)

Freshman: "Go? Where to go? "

Veteran cadres: "canteen!"

Freshman: "(excited) canteen! (Walking forward for a while, whispering to the audience) Oh, the Ministry of Labor and Health is the Ministry of Labor and Health! Talk about everything at the dinner table! What a style! (Stop to hold the hand of the veteran cadre) Big Brother! I support you ... but? It seems that it's not time for dinner yet. What about the future? "

Old minister: "Alas, where is the rice?" ! We will reflect our opinions on the canteen to the students. "

Freshman: "What do you think?"

Old minister: "You are a freshman, so you may not have noticed. I ask you, when you go to the canteen to cook, have you found that when the waiter scratches your rice or food, your hands always shake like this ... "

Freshman: "(thinking for a moment) hmm ... it seems that there is such a thing."

Old minister: "That's right. Every time she shakes it like this, she loses ... a piece or two of meat. " It hurts to count the fallen meat. ! ! ! ! ! ! )

Freshman: "(Never mind)? Isn't it just one or two pieces of meat? "

Old minister: "classmates! (Seriously) You don't understand this! Each of us lacks one or two pieces of meat, and thousands of our students add up to a fat pig! " (makes a gesture of holding a pig)

Freshman: "Ah! ! ! Sorry, I'm not good at bargaining. You'd better go by yourself ... "

Old minister: "Hey! Why don't you go? Classmate ... "(chase)

Freshman: "(Khan! ! ! ! ! I went on stage again to face the audience. How many times is this! ! ! ) The Ministry of Labor and Health used to be a bunch of cheapskates! It doesn't matter if this department doesn't make progress. Huh? These two men in front are extraordinary in spirit. There must be some connection! (Running up to block the front) These two heroes, I will meet you. "

Minister Zhi: "Oh, I am Minister Wei, and he is my assistant. It seems that you are a new student, right? Our security department is the security department of the cooperative college, doing a good job in school security. Do you need help? "

Freshman: "No, no, I, I want to apply for the cadre of the medical insurance department ..."

(The phone rings suddenly, and the assistant picks it up and hands it to the minister, saying, "Minister, your phone!" " " )

Minister Zhi: "Oh, wait a minute, I'll take a call. Hello? Yes, this is the medical department. What happened? (Curious freshman, sneaking up to listen to the content) What? There are two drug dealers in our city? Nine deaths and one injury have been caused on the way! (The freshman looks surprised) What? Probably hiding in our school! ! (Freshman looks stiff) Ok, please inform other departments, I ... Oh, I just recruited a new cadre here, call him right away! (The freshmen run away in a panic) Wait a minute. How did the Yi people disappear ... "

Freshman: "(Super Sweat! ! ! ! ! ! ! Run up again, angry! That was close! I didn't expect it would be dangerous to join the medical department ... (seeing a boy walk into the student union) classmate! Classmate! Do you want to apply for a student union cadre like me? I advise you not to go! The student union is full of weirdos, either bitchy or stingy, plus a narcissist! By the way, life is in danger! ! Listen to me, don't go! Don't go! " (At this time, the four ministers took turns to take the stage to greet the chairman, and then glared at the freshmen to step down and hid in the eavesdropping. The freshmen bent down without hearing the chairman's words once until one hand touched the ground. )

Freshman: "Ah Lord ... Chairman"

Principal: (the principal helps him up) "Well, hello, classmate, I forgot to introduce myself to you. I am the president of the student union in this field. What you just said is absolutely right. What our student union cadres do is really hard, but as long as we can serve the students and help them, we will do it no matter how hard and tired we are! (Four people hiding on one side come out to applaud, and then follow the chairman's sentence "I'm not finished" and run down. If you are just addicted to official business and afraid of hard work, I advise you not to join the student union. "

Freshman: "... Chairman, you are absolutely right. Compared with other cadres just now, (looking at the stands) I found myself selfish and insignificant. Be sure to correct it when you go back and learn from them! (Affectionately) I had n chances to join the Student Union, but I didn't cherish it. Suddenly, a student came running and handed him a napkin. After the freshman took it, he twisted his nose and said thank you and gave it back to the students. The student looked at the new student with an expression of disgust. If God gives me another chance, I will definitely apply for the presidency of the Student Union (pause)! ! "

President: "Oh, my God!" " (stunned, four people came to the stage to help the chairman, and all stopped.)

Exam Crazy Cloud (Campus Sketch)

People: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiaoling, teacher.

Scene: classroom

Content:

Xiaoling sleeps on the table.

Iverson lost a book with him. Get out.

Xiao Wu came in and took Xiao Ai's seat.

Xiao Ai (entering): Oh, man, this is really confusing. Are you kidding? Don't you see, I've already occupied this seat!

Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding and Mao is Mao. Actually, I took it before you!

Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning. Why didn't I see you?

Wu: I took it last night.

Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I get up early every day, grab the head and bleed like a river. I can't lose this position!

Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. This place is unique. If you want to get rid of me from here (AI:-Why? ) I advise you to pull it off early!

Xiaoling woke up: What was that noise?

It's a waste of youth to quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning!

Do you know what mistake you made? Huh?

Xiao Ai: Yes.

Wu: Let's stop arguing.

Xiaoling: What you can't forgive is that you woke me up!

Iverson sat in front of Xiaoling.

Xiao Ai: Last but not least, develop style. Dude, take the exam as I say!

Wu: Huh? Today's exam?

Xiaoling: Really? My hands are numb today!

Xiao Ai: Scared?

Xiao Wu: Did you sleep?

Xiaoling: None of them are right! I'm tired of playing with grass!

Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent the middle of the night burning a lamp and boiling oil!

Xiao Wu: Oh, have you studied hard?

Xiaoling: Do you also play with grass?

Xiao Ai: Oh, I'm thinking about the exam strategy!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling leaned over: What do you think?

Xiao Ai laughed wildly: I tell you, this is a great move!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: Come on!

Xiao Ai: Copy from the book-(picks up the book)

Xiaoling: Go to hell!

Wu: Good idea! Why didn't I think of that?

Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick?

Well, to ease the tension, I'll give you a humorous quiz.

Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu ignored her.

Xiaoling: Say, how many steps are there in the exam answer sheet?

Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu leaned in: How many steps are there?

Xiaoling: Three steps!

Step 1: Write down your name. (Both nod)

Step 2: Read the topic again! (Both nod)

Step 3:-hand in the roll paper!

Xiao Ai: Hand in a blank sheet of paper!

Wu: What's the problem?

Xiaoling: I'll give you another question; Say, who didn't come to the exam today?

Xiao Ai: Who can't take the exam today? Xiaoling?

Xiaoling: I'm not here!

Xiao Ai: Look around, Wu?

Xiao Wu: Yes!

Xiao Ai: Ah! I see-little moxa!

Wu: You came for nothing! It's not the same whether you come or not!

Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! Not yet!

The teacher came in.

Three people are startled: coming? Why did you come without saying anything? Oh, dear! (noisy)

Teacher: What's your name? Did the toad come in?

Three people laughed.

Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? Score! On and off, your lifeblood! (Laughter) Exams are our magic weapon!

Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, our unique skill!

Teacher: Give out the roll paper quickly! Don't come early after the exam. What time is it now? The exam has started for half an hour! What did you do?

Curly hair

Teacher: The exam time is * * * two hours! Don't hand in the papers for more than an hour! Students who want to answer questions, please pick up the pen. Students who don't want to answer questions, please rest in place. Students who want to go to the toilet-please restrain yourself!

Xiao Ai: I think teachers are better.

He is a mouse looking for a cat as an escort-unreasonable demands!

Xiaoling: Exactly! Is he a legendary rapper, or why can't he keep mumbling?

Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than a tree! Do you know how serious a mistake you have made? Heavier than the salt sea!

Three people copy.

Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please don't copy this classmate!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: I didn't copy it!

The teacher came to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying!

Xiao Ai: How do you know? I copied it in my desk!

Teacher: You dropped the board in front of your desk. I saw it!

Xiao Ai: (looking at it) Ouch! have bad luck

The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's roll paper, and Xiao Ai just wanted to get up and go.

Teacher: Sit down! Go out in an hour!

The teacher went to see Xiao Wu, who took the roll paper to the table and copied it.

Teacher: Come on, come on, stop pretending!

I despise you people who cheat with books most. You have no technical content at all.

How did you copy it? Like this? Like this?

Wu: Lower it! Lower it!

Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu's roll paper) You also sit and reflect. Why did you cheat with this book?

Xiao Wu: I don't want to take the book either! I can't play grass as well as her (Xiaoling)!

Xiaoling stared at Xiao Wu.

Teacher: That's right. Remember to mow the grass next time! I like this kind of hard-working child.

Teacher: Time is up! Hand in the papers.

Put away the roll paper.

Teacher: OK. Remember to take the advanced math exam this afternoon! (below)

Xiao Ai: Ah! Still taking the advanced math exam in the afternoon?

Xiaoling: Ah! ! Take the exam in the afternoon! (Picking up grass) What did you take just now?

Wu: Gao ... number? ! What kind of tree is that?

Three people: study how to mow the grass!

The teacher came in (all teachers can dress up alone).

Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher!

Teacher: Xiao Ai, how is your composition? (Roll paper to Xiao Ai)

Xiao Ai: What's the matter?

Teacher: You read it.

Xiao Ai: "My teacher", my teacher has an oval face ...

Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign that says claws) Are you a melon with a melon face? You wrote that my teacher has a claw face!

Xiao Ai: Teacher, paw face is also a face. Can't you make do with it?

Teacher: Keep reading.

Xiao Ai: My teacher is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. ...

Teacher: Stop! You wrote so much. It's beautiful. Why? Just write it to the end!

Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn't the composition required to be no less than 500 words?

Teacher: So you only paint beautiful pictures?

Xiao Ai: Isn't it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings!

Teacher: Hum, tell you, you are only 496 words!

Xiao Ai: Oh! Then add: how beautiful!

Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. Touch the tree and die.

Xiao Ai: Find an old pagoda tree to hang yourself!

Teacher: Why is it an old pagoda tree? Look, you explain words, explain death, and you write death!

Xiao Ai: Oh, I want to write to death!

Teacher: (with a helpless face) You, you hung up again!

Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I have rebuilt it five times!

Teacher: OK, I'll give you a chance. I've heard of pemphigus, and I'm comfortable with it, right? You can make sentences easily, and I'll give them to you when it's right!

Xiao Ai: Do you have any fish? ! Fish ... fish, fish swim in the water, and there are fish in the blade. ...

Teacher: (Laughter) Congratulations, you won-

Iverson: Have you passed?

Teacher: (it doesn't matter) the sixth chance to rebuild. (below)

Xiaoling and Xiaowu: Forget it. Come and study the grass with high number.

The teacher came in.

Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher!

Teacher: Xiao Wu!

Wu: Yes!

Teacher: Look at your roll paper!

My question is: this is the question, please answer.

what did you say ?

Xiao Wu: This is the answer. Please give points ... Is there a mistake?

Teacher: Is this a question?

Teacher: You-OK, next,

Essay question: What is courage? Why didn't you answer it?

Xiao Wu: I answered!

Teacher: Just five words!

Wu: (reading) This is courage! That's right! Then I handed in my paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained my courage!

Teacher: You-you wait to hang up!

Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I hung up fifteen times!

Teacher: Then let me ask you two questions. It depends on your nature. ...

Wu: Two-too many!

Teacher: OK, the first question is correct! If you don't answer the second question, I will let you pass. How many hairs do you have?

Xiao Wu: I wish I were bald.

Teacher: Answer!

Xiaowu: 123456789!

Teacher: How do you know?

Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don't have to answer the second question!

Teacher: OK! Very good! Very good! Take it (pass a piece of paper)

Wu: This is-

Teacher: Reconstruction Act! (below)

Xiaoling and Xiao Ai: To learn advanced mathematics-

The teacher came in.

Xiaoling: English teacher! (trying to run)

Teacher: Xiaoling, why are you running? No breakfast!

Xiaoling: I didn't eat-

Teacher: I saw you eating this morning!

Xiaoling:-Have breakfast tomorrow!

Teacher: Xiaoling, look at the roll paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just choose the topic without looking at it at all?

Xiaoling: No!

Teacher: How dare you quibble!

Xiaoling: I didn't even look at the question, just the answer!

Teacher: And your composition! Why does it look familiar?

Xiaoling: Does it look strange? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph.

Teacher: Xiaoling, you should wake up! You this time-

Xiaoling: Ah! Teacher, I have failed five or five times, no, fifty times! Can't hang up any more!

Teacher: it's not that I didn't give it to you ... this ... for example, can you translate what evening dress means?

(to the audience) This is an evening dress!

Xiaoling looked at Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu.

Xiao Ai: Night is night, right? Perfect for big games!

Xiao Wu: clothes are clothes, MM is always clamoring to buy them!

Xiaoling: Oh! Teacher, I know! It's a night suit!

The teacher shook his head. (below)

Xiaoling: No, I have to find a teacher! You two take your time! (below)

Xiao Ai: Forget it, the grass has been mowed.

/lili 1234abc Click on the cross talk and choose carefully from the Internet. Take a good look at 50 of them. I wish you success, hehe.