I want a joke (to be funny)

Report 1. There are three prisoners tried by the king. The king asked the first prisoner, "Do you want to die or swallow maggots? The first prisoner replied that he was willing to accept the punishment of swallowing maggots, so the king said, "Swallow a thousand maggots! The king asked the second prisoner again, "Do you want to die or swallow maggots? The second prisoner also promised to accept the punishment of swallowing maggots, so the king said, "Swallow two thousand maggots! The king asked the third prisoner again, "Do you want to die or swallow maggots? The third prisoner thought, "Next, we must swallow 3000 maggots. It is better to die than to swallow so many maggots. " So he replied to the death penalty. As a result, the king said, "Swallow maggots to death! 」

Reference: I

Funny! ! The posture hall (Sammy's little musical instrument) is boring. Q: Do I have to drop the water four times before it is washed away? A: Birds (a bird fell into the water, a bird fell into the water and was washed away by the water) Q: Black cats and white cats crossed the road together.

The white cat knocked down the car.

A white cat can talk to a black cat. What was the first sentence? A: Meow ~ Q: If a woman goes to a breast augmentation doctor, two mosquitoes are needed 10000.

It's too expensive to talk to women

Turn 1

How much will it cost? The doctor replied? A: twists and turns q: cattle surprise plants? A: Cow (Cow {Afraid}) asked: Is the island of Youba surrounded by the sea?

Except the left safety island? A: Jusco Q: Do plants know how to skate? A: Hua (Hua {knows} skating) Q: Does it look like a queen? A: Empress {Elephant} Square) Q: There is a ham and the same sausage left in the same wok. What's the solution? A: Because we are not familiar with each other. Q: After completing Secondary Five? A: Reading in the afternoon Q: Why not tell jokes on the boat? A: Because a sea will laugh and cause a tsunami. Q: Will wild insects get thinner? A: Ants (eat ants thin) Q: Can you decorate your hands with your sample field? A: Hair (the opponent whose hair can be modified) Q: What do robots like best? A: Play the role of Coke Q: 1+ 1 When is it equal to 3? A: I went to Xiaoming's house, and the door was closed. Finally, I said, Xiaoming opens the door first. A: I'm from Decheng. Q: What's the most leisurely thing by the tree? Ye () asked: What is in Da Vinci's code? A: Da Vinci account Q: What is the most expensive dish in the world? A: Q: Will eating too much lemon hurt the rack? , hurt? A: Sad Luo asked: Pork paste sells pork, and spinach lotus sells spinach; Wei Lan sells baa? My love, my destiny & gt Q: Will sharks become baa after eating the remaining red beans? A: Red bean paste Q: What does lemon fear most? A: Oranges (oranges and lemons) Q: Xiaoming did his summer homework and died the next day.

Solution? A: I can't live because of my homework. Q: If one day you break up with your girlfriend ... because you have moved on.

The same doctor is dating you, so you like your girlfriend ... well, you send a doctor every day! ! I hope the doctor can leave your girlfriend? An apple a day keeps the doctor away! ! Q: Speaking of the Qing Dynasty,

Empress Dowager Cixi always wanted to live forever.

So I ordered people to develop a panacea for immortality.

But it failed. Later, a foreign envoy came to visit with an elixir of life.

Empress Dowager Cixi asked Heng Lingdan to cure Ge with a panacea.

Well, what do you think? Answer: "London Bridge is going to collapse (for magic)! Q:/kloc-0 per chicken,/kloc-0 per goose,/kloc-0 per duck. Isn't it just splitting three soda spots? A: Graceful (Goose? Q: Fish Dan powder has fish Dan.

Beef brisket powder has beef brisket ... baa baa wild powder has ice cream? A: Seven questions: Xiaoming ran a red light and crossed the road, and was finally killed by a car? A: The green light suddenly turned red ... Q: Buzz Lightyear killed the left dragon.

Later generations helped him change the name of Zuo Hua .. Do you know this name? A: Salon bass Q: The theme song of Meteor Garden is Meteor Shower.

What is the first theme song of Tao Tao Garden? Tao Dayu asked: Do animals know table tennis? A: Eagle (English table tennis) nonsense, sir (laughing brightly) "test 1", sir: I didn't know how to listen that day, and I got a D box. Classmate: Oh (a few seconds later), sir: Remember to review the book. After listening to it, I will go to an Italian classmate: ... (I really didn't know how to listen to the sunrise at that time) "2 seconds is not fast enough! Third, Tai ~ ~ Slow Students: ... (One meaning means talking a lot, being wild) Mr. "Examination Paper 3": There are also students who hand out papers at home: the lowest score. Sir: My department can't tell you the lowest score. Student: Mr. Che: Huang Xiaoming, come to see me after school. Classmate: Test 4. Sir: Good home test, burying books, and not getting them (someone raises his hand). Sir: OK, open all the books and preheat them for two minutes (after two minutes). Sir: Good home exam, one party failed (someone raised his hand). Well, wait, the last two minutes of the "Test Five" Sir: You will be given 40 minutes to test your classmates this time: Sir, Sir: I will finish the class in 25 minutes, OK! The family began to test the students: (How many minutes? ) Mr. Test 5: It doesn't matter whether the test scores are high or low, but the most important thing is whether the students with low scores are good or not: (It doesn't matter first) Mr. Test 6: You should remember this part well. When the exam results come out, Mc will have a chance to come out. Part: Oh, sir: dbq (historical data question) has another chance to come out. Part: yes, sir: long questions and good answers. Parts: ... (Except for the left mc and dbq, there seems to be something wrong with a long question and answer. ) Mr. Test 7: Do you know the question of testing your D-baa classmate: Mr. Baa-baa: Actually, this question is to test how well you know your classmates: ... Mr. Test 8: How do you answer your question? Can you face your classmates bravely? What do you know? Sir: Your classmate. So, the first foreigner "settled" a small stone and went down. The second foreigner in ........................................... "fixed" a gold nugget and suddenly heard a scream: [Ah! The third foreigner threw a bomb and heard an explosion: [Boom ................]! ! The next day, Xiaoli, sparerib and Bapozhen were chatting. Eight old ladies: [I was looking for the sun, and I was hit by a stone, and my brain was bloodshot. ] ribs: [find a laojin, d concussion. Xiao Li: [I met a "supernatural" incident when I was looking for the sun! Just finished cram school, farted, turned into cram school and exploded. ]

Reference: Build it yourself

You can go to this website! . joke.yahoo/

Reference: self

You can speak Cantonese in a D of dl Sammi ... Everything is fine and interesting. I hope I can help you.

Reference: I

My whole body aches, Pei: "doctor!" "

It hurts when I press here, and it hurts when I press there! Doctor: Then you have to take an X-ray! "After the report came out.

Xiao Pei asked the doctor: "What was the result? Doctor: Your phalanx is inflamed.

So it hurts to press here and it hurts to press there! 」

Last time, in the third episode, grandma cut a thread for a poor guy and went to plow Zuotian in the New Territories. One day, when she was plowing, she woke up to find a charity nearby distributing shirts, trousers and quilts to the old people, so she immediately went over and picked them up. In fact, a few days ago, a charity was just like the old people, but it was a few minutes late to become a grandmother. Although every charity gave O's shirt and trousers to an old woman, O's size has been sent to the sun and O's size has been given back, but the old woman was waiting for O's shirt for the winter and had to call the police for help ... Grandma: Hello? What is it, Jimmy Dove (999)? Poor guy: What are you, Grandma? Did you see O again this time? Grandma: There are still people playing 3 games. There are people changing shirts and quilts. ) Bad guy: What's it to you to play with people? Do you want to play? Grandma: I'm "Xi", leave a *** o for others! I'm a little left! ) bad guy: o! ? Grandma, are you old and strong? ! How generous are you? ! Is it really difficult? ! Grandma: This is a stork pigeon. (It's a charity. ) bad guy: what line o, is that gay guy wearing an o-frame? Grandma: * * * I don't know how to get to the left of O. I don't know how to get to the left of o. ) Poor guy: What about the O-frame in the outdoor environment at home? Grandma: But everyone with O has finished typing 3, but O with O has a lot of essence. I don't want to wear O with O, but it's good. There are also people who wear O to change shirts and quilts, but the big set of O is clean. I don't want a big set of o's, but it's clean. ) Bad guy: Oh! Grandma, you have to fight a real army with people! ? How many years have you enjoyed it without grandma? ! But people can't help you tan! Grandma: What's the matter with you? Is there a place? ) Bad guy: I have hair! But my brother o doesn't know, but what does it matter to you that I have hair? Grandma: Why don't you give me the sun? Bad guy: I have condoms, but do you want the size? Grandma: I want a small size. Bad guy: Why do I have to win the lottery? Do you want it or not? Grandma: Yes! Bad brother, you are really a good man! Poor guy: Well, am I good at it? Are you Guan Po? Grandma: I come here every week. I came after I left the stadium. In the fourth episode, a woman sleeps at the bottom of the overpass, and a drunk left-handed man waddles through Lebanon with a bottle of soda. A friend tried to bury a bottle of wild drink in his hand, but he couldn't open it. He tried to pry open a bottle cap with a neck necklace, only to find that all the bottles were buried, so one. An old woman was so angry that she went to the police again. Grandma: "Hello? What's the temperature of the dove? " What system is 999? ) Poor guy: "Grandma, do you want to order it again this time?" Grandma: "there is a man named chicken!" A man pried open the lid. ) Poor guy: "It's normal for a man to crow a chicken. Grandma: But being a chicken is not "westernized" at all! " (But it's covered. ) Poor guy: "Don't hang up? Well, chicken is a shemale? Grandma: "He is not tall enough, he ruined Alin! Grandma wants to talk to a man who can't break a necklace on his left neck. ) Poor guy: "Wow, all my friends broadcast live violence. Although it was a shemale who made her have no sister, breast augmentation surgery was very expensive. It takes thousands of mosquitoes to blow Alin's head off. "Grandma:" After kicking a chicken, it got stuck, and D high water flew out and sprayed me! (Yapo said that a friend kicked a lid and was sprayed with D soda. ) Poor guy: "Is a chicken so hurt?" Did you wash that white car? Grandma: "I'm going to bury someone. I know he buried me!" " Yi Jia went from ghost to ghost. "(Actually, my aunt said that a man used dirty words" * * * ". ) poor guy: "wow, this simple value * * *, my aunt will not let go. Very good! I'll send a gang to catch him right away! Everyone knows that grandma is poor.

So he lives under the overpass. But the economy is worse.

There are so many Zuoren living under the bridge. Today, two new guests came.

One is autistic.

The other one is too rude.

Kick at the sight ... grandma was surprised.

So he called the police again ... Grandma: Hello.

Is it a pigeon? Pigeon, pigeon? What is the degree of Mi 999? ) Policeman: Grandma

it's you again

Are you playing wild?

What happened this time? Grandma: There's a boy there! There is an autistic boy! ) Policeman: Grandma

How lucky are you?

All day, Mao Ye.

What do you care about people and land? Grandma: It's a tenacious dog. Do it! In fact, the dog is under the thief! ) p: is it difficult to masturbate?

Uh, a little more? Grandma: There is a man with thick fruit! There is a man with such a bad temper! ) Policeman: Grandma

Does "Zhuang" violate the law?

Well, it's Zhuang.

Everything is for you. Po: The fruit is thick, shoot everywhere! Good temper, kicking around! ) p: why don't you stay at home? Grandma: I want to * * *! I really want help! ) P: Grandma, how slutty are you?

I was buried in the wild in my twenties! Grandma: Can you teach me? Can you help me? ) p: I can't teach you?

You can ask the place over there! Grandma: I am surprised! Shoot me in the face! I am surprised! Kick my face! ) p: how old are you?

It's not good to ask him to stay! Grandma: I really want to do it quickly. I really want to go quickly! ) p: well, enjoy yourself!

There are so many in joke.yahoo/

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