Funny and humorous copy

1. When I grew up, I mastered 1 special skills without learning other skills. You can sleep well without sleeping pills during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.

2. At a literary evening, the host took the stage to announce the curtain call. Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull.

Xiaoming got a job in sales after graduation. One day, he called: "Excuse me, are you Mr. Wang from Zhong Wang?" The other end of the phone replied, "Yes, but my husband is definitely not a ham sausage!" " "

4. Failure is the mother of success. Who is the father of success? Transfer me ten dollars, and you will pay successfully.

I am a prodigal son who is used to wandering, and I have been waiting for someone who can let me put down my backpack. I think you are the one for me. Cut the crap, big bags and small bags have passed the security check, and come on.

6. Ask yourself, if you were someone else, would you like to date yourself? I can't even think about it, how can I have such a blessing!

7. I don't have any outstanding advantages, but I have a special eye for girls. The girls I chased all married good people in the end without exception.

8. Recently, a fish died. I thought about it for a long time and didn't want to be buried, so I arranged for it to be cremated. Who knows, the more roasted, the more fragrant it is, so I have to prepare a bottle of beer for myself!

9. I woke up one morning and found my wife lying on her husband's body. He hugged her and said, "Baby, I always feel like a the Monkey King with you." My wife giggled and said, "Then I am Xia Zixian's daughter, huh?" Husband said humorously, "No, you are Wuzhishan." Madame ...

10. The difference between new heels and old shoes is that when new shoes are stepped on, you will say "You stepped on my shoes", while old shoes are different, "You stepped on my feet"!

1 1. Tell me something you wanted to do but didn't do in high school. God replied: I wanted to go to Tsinghua, but God arranged for me to read the life of Lan Xiang.

12. One month before the exam, my signature was "Everything depends on human effort"; The week before the exam was changed to "everything goes with fate"; After the exam, the signature is "Focus on participation".

13. Today, I went to repair my headphones, and customer service MM helped me pick out my ears. After that, I felt the sound quality was much better. ...

14. It is said that children are pearls left behind, and mothers are angels sent by God to protect children. And I am the top that God dropped, and my mother likes to pull the top.

15. The boss told us a joke in the office today, and everyone laughed hysterically except Xiao Ming. I smiled and asked him why he didn't laugh. I replied, "I have resigned."

/kloc-busy getting married and divorced after 0/6.80, busy falling in love and breaking up after 00. Only after 90, I am very stable and just want to make money.

17. I heard that beggars in Dubai earn 10 thousand a month. How about a trip for two in Dubai? I take you, you take the bowl, I cry, you kneel and shout.

18. When I was five years old, my goal was Ferrari. At the age of twenty, my goal was Audi A6. When I was twenty-five, my goal was Geely Panda. The goal now is to get on the bus, have a place to sit and listen to music.

19. The one with long legs is called New Year's Eve, and the one with short legs is called New Year's Eve. Those who have an object are called New Year's Eve, and those who have no object are called staying up late. Me, skipping and staying up late.

20. I am obviously a rich second generation, but I still have to work hard to make money. I can eat by my face, but I still have to make money hard. This is the gap between me and Mingming.

2 1. The subway to work in the morning was so crowded that all the bread I bought was squashed. Friend: What's this? I used to be much more serious than you. Me: Why, what happened to your bread? Friend: Not bread. I want to fart, but I just burp!

22. Once I looked up at the starry sky with my friends, and then we burst into tears. He was lovelorn and I sprained my neck.

23. Say that the girl is fat and she is angry. How can she come back to life? The Great God replied: You are too fat to leave my heart!

24. One day, I took out my fire jar and went swimming. A little girl saw it and ran over crying, shouting, mom, mom, look at the ladybug! I turned to defend myself, and the girl got a fright: Mom, it's still ladybug essence!