Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ordinary world (3) The fifth chapter
After a long winter and a short spring, the desolate Loess Plateau has gradually entered the most beautiful season of the year.
At the beginning of May
Ordinary world (3) The fifth chapter
After a long winter and a short spring, the desolate Loess Plateau has gradually entered the most beautiful season of the year.
At the beginning of May
After a long winter and a short spring, the desolate Loess Plateau has gradually entered the most beautiful season of the year.
At the beginning of May, around the long summer, most of the plants and trees in Shan Ye have grown leaves, and the rolling mountains are stained with bright green and light green. The sun began to have heat, shining warmly on the vast land. The Shui Bo River is crystal clear, reflecting the blue sky in early summer and the long white clouds on the blue sky.
1982, the production responsibility system was fully implemented in the whole loess plateau. This ancient land has entered a new historical period. Various political institutions have also evolved from the centralized revolutionary Committee for many years to the separation of party and government. People's congresses have been rebuilt at or above the county level, and they are commonly known as "three teams" together with party committees and governments. The world-famous people's commune has been replaced by the township government. Many legacies left by the "revolution" are gradually disappearing in life.
You can't see much change outside Shuangshui Village. The mountain is still the original mountain, and people are still the original people. Dongla River still sings its tireless songs and flows through this ordinary village.
However, Shuangshui Village is really not the original Shuangshui Village. Some of its changes can be felt, while others cannot. One of the most remarkable changes is that most people no longer cook for food. That alone makes people cry with mixed feelings: Oh, my God. ...
Nowadays, for most people, corn-flour buns are a common occurrence. Some doorways are not only white flour, but also rice is no longer a rarity. According to some observers in the village, the grain storage of a single farmer far exceeds that of the old landlords in the old society. Wu Jinjun, the former captain of Jinjiawan Second Team, is one of them.
Need to remind you that all these changes took place in just one or two years; You know, we have been thundering and drumming for decades to engage in agriculture, and we have not been able to solve the problem of farmers' eating ... However, there have also been some disturbing situations. The most prominent problem is that most people are short of money.
To tell the truth, people still have doubts about whether the new policy can last long. Then, while your hands and feet are free now, hurry to collect food for a few years! In order to get more food, most farmers carry out predatory farming on the land. No one will apply organic fertilizer to the land any more. In the past, in order to grab the dung from commune organs and county toilets, it often triggered the warfare of farmers everywhere. Nowadays, no one cares about the excrement in the big and small toilets in the city, and the government has to pay someone to clean it up. Grain production should be high, of course, chemical fertilizer is the most powerful!
But it costs money to buy fertilizer-two crops a year, how much fertilizer is needed! Of course, money has many uses besides buying fertilizer. Farming at home, you have to buy your own farm tools if they are broken. If the livestock don't push hard and need a good servant, it will cost two or three hundred yuan. In addition, as soon as the market opened, all kinds of things that flooded in also made people shine. There are rows of colorful and fashionable clothes on the street of Shigejie, not to mention. Children and daughters-in-law will want to buy one at the market. Won't you give them money? Money! It has become a word that cultivators often talk about. In order to buy fertilizer, farm tools for livestock, children's new clothes and gadgets of the new era like neighbors, farmers have to transport the grain stored in shops to the free market for sale at Shijie Festival ... As the saying goes, mountains are higher than mountains. Indeed, in rural areas, people are a little dissatisfied as soon as they have had enough to eat. Ordinary people have been thinking about how to make their lives richer. This kind of psychology is extremely normal-it is human nature to pursue a better life.
For most farmers, as long as the land is cultivated by themselves, it is not a problem to harvest more food; This is an ancestral profession and skill, and they are full of confidence. However, it is not easy to come up with other ideas outside the land.
But in any case, it is wishful thinking to sell some grain, potatoes and dried tobacco leaves at Shijie Festival, or to sell a fat pig fed by a wife every year. This income can't even buy fertilizer back at ordinary times!
Sesame salt, black bean sauce and shredded silk are all different. There is also a guy who kicked two feet in the countryside and has no place to eat. They do business, run business and engage in sideline business, and the renminbi keeps ringing in their hands, making everyone's eyes red!
Sun Shaoan is the first able person in Shuangshui Village. He built a brick kiln with a machine, and he was the first person in the village to transform a new place. Then, the secretary Tian was unwilling to go to the former Xicheng as a contractor-just because the child's impatience aggravated his emphysema, he recently had to cough and gasp. Jin Junshan, the deputy secretary-he is also the village head now-bought a dozen good goats and raised them in partnership with Jin Cheng, the son of a teacher. Last autumn, he went to the organ of Shijie Festival to sell goat's milk, and it was said that his income was considerable. Well, after all, when will a capable person be capable?
You see, now there are talented people in Shuangshui Village who want to dig pond culture! This man is Tian Haimin, a division commander of the brigade.
Tian Haimin, 35, is a mediocre person in the farming industry. Over the years, he has been a brigade accountant, rarely working in the mountains, relying entirely on abacus beads, and every month is full of work. In addition, his father-in-law sells goods in the public-private retail department of Mijia Town, and his family is well-off. His daughter-in-law Yin Hua comes from the operator's family and is very good at calculation. Therefore, the situation of the young couple has always been top-notch in the village.
After the land was divided, although it was impossible for Haimin to grow crops, his family business did not decline. But it didn't develop much.
Sun Shaoan and others are jealous of their success, and the Haimin couple are no exception. The clever couple thought day and night to see if they could find another way out of this land. They have a deposit of more than 1000 yuan-this is not a small sum in rural areas! This money can't be used to do big things, but a little money is enough.
When Haimin got back a pamphlet about fish farming from somewhere, the couple watched it head-to-head under the lamp all night. They immediately decided excitedly: well, just dig a pond to breed!
Farmers of the Gelao nationality in mountain villages on the Loess Plateau have never had the habit of eating fish-let alone eating it, many people have never even seen fish. People in Shuangshui Village were shocked to hear that the Haimin couple wanted to raise fish.
Ah, this boy is so anxious to see others get rich! Fish? Who eats that thing!
In fact, this couple who graduated from junior high school is far-sighted. Because people here don't like fish, there are few local fish farmers. But you can't help eating fish. During the holiday, Haimin once witnessed how the cadres and citizens in the former Xicheng lined up in the grocery store to buy frozen fish from other places. Yes, they don't expect to sell their products in the countryside, but intend to sell them to city people. Nowadays, in this society, Daimon Masaru is open in all directions, people from all over the west come, and there are many people who eat fish! Haimin has been asking around the city, and several restaurants have suggested that as long as there is fish, you can take it with you!
Because Haimin is the branch committee of the village, he successfully obtained the consent of Tian He Jin Junshan, and at a negligible cost of one year in 36 yuan, he got three acres of six cents pasture on the bank of the Dongla River in the north of the village, ready to dig a fish pond here.
In the afternoon, the bulldozers of Shijie Street Agricultural Machinery Station rented at the rate of 12 yuan per hour roared to this grassland and began to attract attention. The huge roar of bulldozers once again shocked the ancient village.
Many farmers and children who have finished their work are rushing to this place to watch the excitement.
By the way, this is the place where Shuangshui Village stole water and stopped the dam. I believe you still remember the tragicomedy six years ago. Oh, how time flies. Jin Junbin, who died here that year, has already been covered with grass, but life on earth is still going on vigorously here ... Shuangshui Village was immediately stirred up. Now, at the southern end of the village, Sun Shaoan's brick-making machine is rumbling, and black smoke is emitted from the brick kiln; At the northern end of the village, the bulldozer rented by Tian Haimin roared in the sky again, stirring up the yellow dust all over the sky ... Shuangshui Village, you are a world that will never be quiet. Tian and Sun Yuting used to have sex here, but now Tian Haimin is here to show their talents!
Farmers in Shuangshui Village, who are short of money, stand around bulldozers with infinite emotion and watch how steel animals arch a big hole in the wasteland. They envy people who have the ability to toss-some well-informed people say that handfuls of RMB will be fished out of this pit! They are only jealous of themselves. They can't afford it. One has no money at hand, and the other has no courage to go to public houses for loans.
Besides, he is rich and enterprising and can't understand a word. Where did you get the skills? Maybe you have to lose money. It seems that they can only poke the cow's ass on the land! However, they are really poor ... among the people watching Tian Haimin's extraordinary feat, there are his father Tian and his fourth father Tian Wanjiang.
Tian Sitian and Wu brothers squatted together, smoking only in the crowd and not talking. If this is another house, Tian Wu, the chief artist in the village, will immediately make up a funny "chain mouth" for everyone. Now, he is squatting here, with a thoughtful face that is rarely seen at ordinary times.
Wu Tian has his sadness. He will be sixty years old next year, and there are two 14-and 15-year-old daughters at home. At his age, a person has to work hard in the mountains, barely able to paste four mouths. He is so short of money that he can't even buy fertilizer back. Both female dolls are too old to wear decent clothes and often wear rags. Although he is often a lively person in front of people, in fact, a person can't hold his head and cry after singing in the mountains. Haimin ignored him. It's not that the son doesn't want to be in charge, but that the daughter-in-law won't let her son be in charge.
His brother Tian Wanjiang, who is squatting beside him, has a harder life than him. Tian Si's three sons, the situation is different. They are honest people, holding a litter of children, and it is impossible to take care of them.
The old couple are too poor to buy a pot. They have been cooking with a leaky broken pot.
When the two brothers heard that Haimin was going to dig pond culture, they got together to discuss whether they could take a stake in Haimin. They have no money and skills, but they can do all the heavy work. They estimate that although their daughter-in-law Yin Hua can't see whether they are alive or dead, they do heavy work and take small heads. Maybe she can agree.
Now, they haven't mentioned this matter to the Haitian people. However, at the moment they are squatting here eagerly, but in their hearts, it seems that this matter is their own business; Listening to the roar of bulldozers, I am very excited!
Two days later, the fish pond has been dug. Mr. and Mrs. Haimin are nervously doing the work before releasing water. The brochure says that the fish pond should be disinfected with white ash before putting the fry. Put 600 Jin of quicklime in an acre of land, then pour a layer of excrement and plough it again-this will not only disinfect, but also produce microorganisms.
This morning, when Tian Wutian's 40% Yinhua was not at the construction site, the two brothers came to Haimin together and put forward their "suggestions" to him.
Haimin didn't refuse at that time. I'm just embarrassed to say to the two elders that this needs the consent of his daughter-in-law. Yin Hua is in charge of Haimin's family affairs, and he can only explain this to the two old people. The two old people knew this was a fact, so they had to wait for Haimin to ask his daughter-in-law.
That evening, Haimin came to his father's house. He told his father and the fourth father who were waiting for news: Yin Hua didn't agree to their work!
Tian Sitian stared at May Day and didn't know what to say.
Tian Wu was stunned for a long time, sighed and said, "Your fourth father and I will rob your job, but you don't. You are more cruel than landlords in the old society! Your mother and I raised you by swallowing bran and vegetables, and now it's not working. You can't even see our lives! Are you still human? "
When Tian Wu scolded his son, Tian Si hung his head-Haimin is the son of his younger brother, and he has no right to criticize others. The former breeding team can only admit that the real blow is a natural thing at the moment.
Tian Haimin silently accepted his father's scolding, and then silently withdrew from the broken cave that raised him. When he walked home on the dark village road, his eyes were full of tears.
Alas, Haimin is not ignorant of the sufferings of the two old people. But he couldn't convince his woman. I can't help it! He wants to live with this woman, live together; If he falls out with Yin Hua, not only can he not solve the problems of the old people, but his own situation will be very bad! He can't prove his difficulties in front of the old man. He figured that after he earned money, he could only secretly help them with silver flowers on his back, and there was nothing he could do. When a person lives to this point, the pain is beyond the comprehension of outsiders.
The next day, Tian Wu, who was hit by life and feelings, still played his usual optimistic role in public. In the fairy mountain, he is still singing his letter journey happily like a fairy. We don't know whether we cried after singing. ...
Before long, another unexpected storm came. Liu Yusheng, the next-door neighbor of Haimin's family, suddenly made a terrible prediction. The visionary alarmingly spread that a kind of "fish essence" will be born in Tian Haimin's fish pond. It is said that this fish essence will inevitably harm people and animals in Shuangshui Village. And in the future, I will go to work in other places! Some superstitious villagers immediately began to curse the sea people and honeysuckle, and some even threatened to sprinkle poison in the fish pond!
The cheerful Haimin couple were so angry by this rumor that they couldn't even eat. They can't afford to mess with this god who claims to control the life and death of the village. But they will never give up raising fish-they have already spent 700 yuan!
At the same time, Wu Tian, who was angry with his son, even invented a "chain mouth" in an absurd way, turning Liu Yusheng's rumors into a playful art and spreading it in the village-
Shuangshui Village has talents, but it can't beat Yin Hua and Haimin.
Dig a pit by the Dongla River and keep fish essence in it.
Fish essence, turtle essence and frog essence all eat animal essence before eating people.
Eat this village and that village, all the way to the original Xicheng.
It turns out that the west side is in chaos, and men, women and children are fighting for their lives.
Anxious county magistrate Zhou Wenlong, request Huang Yuan to send troops quickly!
Tian Fujun, secretary of the prefectural party committee, picked up the phone and gave the order.
China People's Liberation Army entered the former Xicheng overnight.
After entering the city, I opened my eyes wide and reported the invincible situation of my superiors-it turned out that fish essence didn't eat people, and then people ate all the fish.
After eating the fish head and fish tail, only a bunch of needles of pueraria lobata were left ... When the "chain mouth" spread in the village, Tian Wu regretted it very much.
Alas, how can he make fun of his son? He has gone too far! What is good for my son when he is in a bad situation? Besides, can this solve his own difficulties? "Chain mouth" no one gave the manuscript fee!
On this day, Tian Si found Tian Wu with a sad face and said to his younger brother, "Let's go to Shao An again and see if we can do odd jobs in his brick yard." Otherwise, planting wheat in autumn can't afford to buy chemical fertilizer ... "
Tian Wuyi thought, he also felt that he could try his luck. Although young, Shao 'an people are generous and may sympathize with their situation. In this way, the poor and hopeless brothers are ready to pester their "old captain"
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