The better the child, the more disappointed the parents will be. this is no joke

The following words will break a parent’s heart deeply, but they are said by the children themselves.

Parents work hard on their children’s education, but they ignore the most important point. What is it? The article is not long, you will know it after reading it.

01

The purpose of striving to be excellent is to break away from your original family as soon as possible

Recently, a post on Douban went viral, and netizens complained about their 10-year-old nephew.

This little nephew not only has excellent grades, but also excels in various hobbies such as Mathematical Olympiad, Go, and roller skating. Here comes the key point. The little nephew feels that he is too good and despises his parents for not being worthy of such a good person.

The child said that his parents are too poor and can only afford to drive a Toyota with a cost of more than 100,000 yuan. His classmates all have iPhone7, but he only has a children's watch.

He ranked first in the overall examination and had outstanding talents. However, such an outstanding child despised his parents because he felt that he was excellent. It was a true scene of "the dog hates the family for being poor, and the son hates the mother for being ugly." farce.

"I strive to be excellent in order to get rid of my ignorant and incompetent family of origin as soon as possible." This is the value pursuit of this child who was the first in the exam.

This little boy who always ranks first in exams and has outstanding talents is held in the hands of his parents and placed on the top of their hearts. He is often posted in the circle of friends. His parents have given the best they can. Good, but rejected by his own children.

02

Parents are a disaster

There is a group on Douban.

This group has a name that makes all parents tremble: Parents are a disaster.

The group is a group of people who deeply feel that they have been hurt by their parents and choose to stand against their parents and hate them.

Some netizens in the group complained about how poor their parents raised them, and some felt that they were unable to enter the upper class because their parents were too poor.

The resentment towards their parents in their words, some even gritted their teeth, made others feel chilled when they saw it.

Many Chinese-style parents unknowingly cultivate white-eyed wolves, giving all their efforts, but raising children who "well-deserved".

"Well-deserved" means that children feel that all their parents' contributions are deserved. If one day their parents do not pay enough, the children will feel resentful.

People who have a strong sense of well-deserved will eventually turn into a white-eyed wolf.

For a family, parents are the root and children are the fruit.

If there is something wrong with the fruit, there is probably something wrong with the root. If a child does not know how to be grateful, it is often because there is something wrong with family education.

Chinese-style parents tend to be child-centered and pay too much for their children. They are used to taking care of their children's chores, big and small, but forget that their children have the right to learn to love and give.

Your love is too strong, but you miss the opportunity to let your children learn to be grateful. The more parents give, the easier it is to encourage their children to feel worthy, and they often fail to raise grateful children.

03

Top students who are ashamed of their parents

There is a family in Wuhan with average economic conditions. The couple is usually very frugal, but they treat their son He is very generous. As long as his son wants something, he will buy it for him even if he sells it.

What mothers often say is "no matter how hard it is, you can't hurt your children."

When the iPhone 4S first came out, the children insisted on buying it. The father drove a crane on the construction site to buy a mobile phone for the child. In the nearly 40-degree summer in Wuhan, he was reluctant to buy a bottle of water.

Then, after buying the mobile phone, he also bought a computer and went on a trip. It even rained once and the father went to pick up the child. The child was so angry that he refused to go with his father even in the rain.

The child yelled at his father: "Don't come with me, you don't even look at yourself."

The child has excellent academic performance and his parents are proud of him , but he never wanted his parents to appear in front of his friends. He even resented why his parents were so poor.

Parents give everything, but it breeds a sense of superiority in their children. Children have become accustomed to their parents' efforts, but they do not know how to be grateful and enjoy their parents' efforts with peace of mind.

As time goes by, children feel that their parents’ efforts are deserved, but they cannot feel the difficulty of the adult world.

04

Even if parents give everything they have, if they are not satisfied with just one thing, they will kill them

There was such a TV news story a few years ago:

A tragedy occurred at Shanghai Pudong Airport. A 25-year-old man named Wang, who had been studying in Japan for five years, stabbed his mother nine times when she came to pick him up at the airport, causing her to fall unconscious on the spot and her life was in critical condition.

The reason is that in the past five years, Wang’s study abroad expenses in Japan were entirely borne by his mother, which cost more than 1.5 million.

His mother lived frugally, sold her only property, and stayed with her parents' family. Finally, she borrowed money from everywhere and was still unable to pay for his high tuition fees.

The mother gave her all, but when she could not meet her son's requirements, she earned his son's hatred.

It is instinct for parents to love their children. Many parents in China live their lives centered on their children. They give too much, but their children take it for granted.

The child who was raised by oneself, the child whom he regarded as his "heart and soul", grew up to become a white-eyed wolf who squeezed himself out, despised himself, and even hated himself. This really makes parents who have worked hard all their lives feel sad. Cold to the bone.

Why do parents who give more often fail to raise grateful children?

In fact, the answer is very simple: Chinese-style parents often only care about their children having enough food and clothing, and only care about their children's grades, but they forget to teach their children to be grateful.

For a child who is ungrateful, no matter how much his parents do for him, it will be normal in his eyes. Once the normal in his eyes is broken, he will feel resentful.

Parents all over the world: If you love your children, you must teach them to be grateful.

Children who know how to be grateful can escape from their own world. They can feel the difficulties of others, are more likely to develop empathy, and have better interpersonal relationships.

Children who know how to be grateful are happier and happier.

A survey from the University of California, Davis, shows that people who are grateful are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety.

Children who are not grateful will always feel disappointed and dissatisfied in the end.

Let your children learn to be grateful, face the world with gratitude, and learn to love others. This is not the selfishness of parents, but a vision for their children's future life.

05

Let children learn to be grateful, but do not cultivate it deliberately

The heart of gratitude cannot be cultivated by others. The so-called cultivation of a heart of gratitude is all artificial. .

For example, washing your parents’ feet and patting their backs is considered grateful?

Washing feet and beating back is just a behavior or an action. Whether it is out of gratitude depends on what one thinks in his heart.

Some people will do anything to make others happy for their own selfish interests. Not to mention washing your feet and beating your back, you can be a cow or a horse.

But once personal goals are achieved, they will turn against others. Can this also be gratitude?

Although a grateful heart must be reflected through external behaviors, having similar grateful behaviors does not mean that one has a grateful heart!

06

Let gratitude permeate daily life

1. Learn to say thank you

Learn to let your children say " Thanks".

Saying thank you is an expression of gratitude. Don’t let your children be stingy in saying thank you.

For example, if a relative or friend buys a toy for your child, ask the child to say thank you;

At the dining table, a colleague gives your child some toys that your child likes. For food, let your children say thank you.

There are many things like this. Starting from small things, you have to let your children learn to say thank you.

2. Cultivate children’s sense of responsibility

To cultivate children’s sense of responsibility, do not let them think that everything should be done by others.

For example, at home, if he is a toddler, he must learn to put on his own clothes, socks, etc.;

When he is older, you can ask him to help with housework. , washing dishes, vegetables, etc. Don't let him take it for granted that others should take care of him from an early age.

3. Parents should lead by example

Parents should teach by words and deeds and be a good example.

Parents are their children’s first teachers. They should always pay attention to their own words and deeds. When a child is young, he will imitate his parents’ words and deeds. When he is older, his parents’ thoughts will also affect his children, so Be a good example.

4. The family must have an atmosphere of gratitude

We often ignore it when we treat people we are familiar with, but the atmosphere of gratitude in the family is really important.

For example, during dinner, the food is very rich. At this time, parents should say to their children: "It must be very hard to prepare these dinners."

In this case, Not only say thank you, but also explain the situation and let him know that he is grateful.

5. Sense of ritual: Thanksgiving day

Families should have a specific day of thanksgiving.

For example, if someone in the family has a birthday, at the birthday party, everyone should thank each other, write letters by hand, and make gifts for family members.

This method can enhance feelings very well.

6. Help others

Let children learn to help others.

For example, when you are at home, you can tell your child that you need his help on a certain matter, but you don’t know how to do it yourself.

Involve children and learn to help others.

In addition, the most important point is:

Parents must not achieve 100, and do not deprive their children of the opportunities that life itself gives them to hone and grow.

A grateful heart will ultimately be fulfilled by the ups and downs of life. If a person does not understand the hardships and sufferings of life, it will never be possible for a person to be grateful.

Moreover, these ups and downs and tribulations are not man-made, they come from life itself.