What's so funny about being bored? Just type it out.

Today, on Valentine's Day, a girl who has a crush on me for a long time called me: "Come to my house, no one!" " "I ran away with excitement! ! ! ! ! ! ! I knocked on the door for more than an hour and found that there was really no one. ...

Wife: "How does the fish-flavored shredded pork taste?" Husband: "Just so-so." Wife: "What about burning eggplant?" Husband: "Not bad." Wife: "What about Mapo tofu?" Husband: "Just make do." Wife: "Can a good word kill you?" Husband: "The rice is so hard!

When I got up in the morning, my husband turned over and was wrapped in a quilt for several layers.

I looked at him who continued to sleep and felt very cute, like a sushi to be cut.

Then he wrapped this big one in the middle with a belt and went to work.

When I came back at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I saw my husband still lying in bed. It was the shape of sushi to be cut in the morning, but he looked at me from different angles.

He said: Hungry for a day is not the key. It's not the key to turn off the air conditioner when you leave and heat him to death. Explaining that you didn't go to work the next day and didn't answer the phone is not the key.

The point is: the wardrobe is directly opposite the bed, and he feels embarrassed and funny when he looks at himself in the mirror. I didn't hold back when I laughed. . . .

It is said that one day I had a stomachache and hurried to the toilet. It took me a long time to take off my pants. I have been farting loudly all my life.

Then I heard my buddy in the pit next door: "Holy shit ..."

When I was leaving, the buddy said, Brother, do you have any paper? You scared me just now, and the paper fell into the pit!

If you laugh, I hope to adopt it as the best answer! Thank you!