Joke cabbage

1. There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" When the polar bear heard this, he pulled off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!

Xiaoming lost a leg in a car accident.

Xiaoming lost another leg in a car accident.

Xiaoming lost his other leg in another car accident.

Xiaoming lost another leg in a car accident.

In fact, Xiaoming is a dog.

One day, the cabbage was walking on the road and felt very hot, so it was taken off one by one and disappeared.

4. A steamed stuffed bun walked on the road and felt very hungry, so he ate himself.

Xiaoming and Xiaohong are deskmates. One day, Xiaoming borrowed a pen from Xiaohong.

Xiaohong said "don't borrow"

"Lend it to me and you're dead!"

Then Xiaohong said, "Oh, I'll lend it to you."

When Xiaoming returned the pen to Xiaohong, Xiaohong really died.

6. Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day, he went out to play and met a wolf. The wolf said, "I will eat you!" " ! ! "

Guess what?

As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

7. Xiaohua, did you use my pencil?

Xiaohua: No, I'm useless.

Bug: Are you really useless?

Xiaohua: I'm so useless!

Bug: Alas, you are the17th person to admit that you are useless.

8. When will Taiwan Province Province be reunified?

When buying instant noodles

9. One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

10. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why don't they say hello (assuming they can talk)?

Because ... they don't know each other very well ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

1 1. Devil: God, can I be born again?

God: Yes.

Demon: I don't want to be a demon anymore. I want to be as white as an angel and have wings, but I still want to suck blood.

God: Well, you can be reborn as a nurse.

12 One day, a man met God.

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish.

God asked: Do you have any wishes?

The man thought for a moment and said, I heard that cats have nine lives, so please give me nine lives!

God said: Your wish has come true!

One day, the man was idle and bored.

If you want to say death, forget it. There are nine lives anyway.

Lying on the tracks,

As a result, a train passed by,

That man is still dead.

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 cars.

13, Xiaoming owed 200,000 yuan to the underground bank, and Xiaoming begged him to give up for a few more days.

The banker said, "Be sure to return it tomorrow, otherwise ... chop off two fingers;

The day after tomorrow ... chop 4; The third day ... "

Xiao Ming: "There is no need to return it, right?"

Banker: "no, then you will become a tinker bell." 」

14, one person has a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital and said to the doctor, "I pull everything, eat watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber!" " The doctor thought about it and said to him, "I think you have to eat shit!" " "

15. Three small animals are chatting in the forest. Pig said: nicknames are popular now, so you can call me pig in the future. Rabbit said: well, I'll call it rabbit. The chicken looks unhappy and says, I have work to do. I have to go first.

16, I went to the hospital alone. The doctor said you should have a blood test, a urine test and a stool test.

After a while, he came back and told the doctor that I had swallowed blood and urine, but I really couldn't swallow stool.