A well-meaning joke

1, the traffic jam during rush hour is really boring. Shake it on WeChat, find a girl, say hello and say I'm stuck. Sister replied, what car do you drive? I turned to look at a Mercedes next to me and replied, I drive a Mercedes. How much does it cost to return the license plate? Please answer, XXXXX. Sister is back, brother, I'm driving this Mercedes. . One day, my brother-in-law went to drink and came home drunk at night. My sister was angry, but she couldn't be angry with an alcoholic, so she put lipstick on herself and then kissed her sleeping husband on the neck and face. The next day, when my brother-in-law woke up, my sister began to quarrel with him and asked him where he had been fooling around yesterday. My mother-in-law came to stop the fight. When she saw the lipstick mark on her son's face, it was a slap in the face for days. My brother-in-law tried to remember what he did when he was drunk that night ... 3. I was drunk last night. I woke up this morning and found my mouth full of mud. I called my buddy who took me home to ask what was going on. Answer: Last night, you said you were Pleasant Goat. I have to eat grass on the ground and keep pulling ... 4. I chatted with you in the office today and talked about constipation. My metabolism is 1. Man: "Have you gained weight recently?" Woman: "no! I have been losing weight last month and lost more than ten kilograms! " Man: "Then tell me why my eyes are fixed on you." 2. On the way, the girls spoiled and let the boys carry it, and the boys carried it very hard. "I'm not very heavy. Why do you recite so hard? " "Because to me, you are the world …" The girl smiled like a flower, so the boy had to swallow back the words "the heaviest person" that had just come to his mouth. Watching a Korean drama, the hero's girlfriend is going to work abroad for a year. She was afraid that after she left, the hero would have sex alone in China, so she designed to put the hero in prison. Also spoiled with the male host: "Just stay in prison for one year, just one year." 4. Landlord: "For so many years, I have never seen a boy and a girl quarrel to win. No matter who is right or wrong, the last ones who admit their mistakes are boys. " According to Darwin's theory of evolution, boys used to quarrel and win. Later, when I couldn't find a girlfriend, I became extinct. Xiang Hao, who has never suffered from constipation, proudly said, "I have never tasted constipation!" ! ""0 1. Nanny's voice is very loud. The host told her that all the people coming tonight are important people, so be sure to keep your voice down. After dinner, the host plays cards with the guests. After cleaning up, the little babysitter wanted to go to bed early, so she leaned into her master's ear and whispered, "Then I'll go to bed first." 02. If the girl doesn't answer, it's all wet. Go to bed when you see a girl and do justice for heaven. Chest height, the more you touch it, the more coquettish it becomes. Small and thin, with stunts. Small and infinite. Your ass is up. You must finish it. 03. The young couple had sex for one night. After that, my husband went to the bathroom to clean and wipe carefully, and my wife asked why it took so long. Husband said: The sniper rifle needs maintenance after use. My brother's name is Liu Shun ... 04. The man chased the bus until he got home, but he didn't catch up. After coming back, he told his wife that he missed the bus, but he also exercised and earned 1 yuan. My wife was angry at that time, saying that you were stupid enough to chase a taxi and at least earn a starting price. 05. The unit organized a physical examination, and the nurse said that the leader's heart rate had been abnormal, so the chief physician should review it. After the review, the director kindly 06. Have dinner with upper-middle class families. My husband is very interested in stock trading at home, saying that he has "fried well" in the past two or three months. The son-in-law works in the financial field and modestly calls himself "making some bubble money". Mother-in-law said firmly: "The more bubbles, the better!" 07. I always had a crush on her when I was studying, but I didn't have the courage to confess, let alone touch her. She got married after graduation, and my husband and I were classmates. That afternoon, she was breast-feeding, and I made a good excuse. I walked up to her, put my hand on her boobs, and then told her doll, call uncle, don't shout, don't eat! 08. What is a spoiler? A friend named Luo did better. He changed his MSN name to "Dumbledore is dead" and then kept going online and offline. So everyone-including those unfortunate people who don't want to be spoiled at all-sadly looked at the MSN prompt window on the screen and repeatedly reminded that "your friend Dumbledore is dead" has been online ... "09. Today, I was driving on the toll road. The car broke down near the toll booth. I had to wait in the smoking carriage, crying and watching other cars whizzing by. Until a patrolman came and helped me push the car through the toll booth. The woman at the toll booth told me that she sympathized with me, but she still charged me 3 yuan. 10. Mrs. Mary was taken to court for running a red light. The judge stared at her and asked, "Mrs. Mary?" Yes, you used to be a teacher in Xicheng primary school? Yes, how do you know? The judge smiled. I am your student. Mrs Mary smiled and relaxed. The judge went on to say, I have been waiting for this day for more than 20 years, and now I punish you for copying it 1000 times. "I made a mistake when I ran the red light. I won't do it again. "

Hope to adopt