I want some refreshing and hilarious jokes.

Huainan.

Lv Xian town.

Qiyuan inn

Tian Zi, room one.

The voice of grapes in a hurry came from the room: "Miss Flower, I really can't do it."

Ruhua: "No, I just want it."

Grape: "I can't tell my wife when I go back, because the girl is so hard."

Ruhua: "I don't care what you say to your wife, you must pay for losing mahjong!" " "

Grape: "Give me some face. I have only a few taels of silver left on me. You have to ask me for it. After all, I am also a knife god. I don't have any pocket money on me. It's embarrassing to walk in the Jianghu. "

Like a flower: "Knife God? ! "

"Yes, knife! -Oh, my God! " Grapes lifted their trouser legs, adjusted their hair, pulled out a machete from their waist with a sigh and screamed at the sky.

It's a one-foot-two-inch-long machete with a black blade, fine workmanship and shining cold light. ...

In an instant, the surrounding walls were shaking, and the candle lights hanging on the roof were crumbling.

Grape: "Ah? ! I didn't expect my sword to be so powerful. No, the two most powerful sword drawing operations in the past, one was to cut my thigh and waste a few taels of money on band-AIDS, and the other was to cut my penis and save a few taels of money on circumcision. How can this time ... "

The clerk looked at it and ran over: "Don't be afraid, the floor is being decorated upstairs these days."

Grape: "Oh, it's the general."

Ruhua: "Since you are a knife god, tell you what, you give me this knife and we'll be even."

Grape: "Hum, do you want this knife? ! From nursing homes to kindergartens. Do you know how many people in the Jianghu died because of this knife? Do you know how useful this knife is? "

Ruhua: "How big?"

Grape: "I have used this knife to peel apples, cut nails, dig corns and pick my teeth in my life!" " It's not that easy to want my knife! "

Ruhua: "It's not that easy to default!"

Grape: "How about this? What do you think? "

Staring at the grapes like flowers and colors, his eyes are straight and his mouth is watering: "Five times!" " "

Grape: "No, ten times!" " "

Ruhua: "Ah? ! "

Grape: "I will be a good person to the end." After that, you can give me five ounces of silver. This time, I went to Wuli Snow Mountain to find medicine to cure the injury, and the toll was not enough. "

Ruhua: "Deal!"

The autumn wind is bleak, the leaves are falling, the sun is dim, and the lone eagle is cold.

Out of the inn, the grapes were in rags and their legs were weak. He dragged his sick body step by step to the snowy mountain. ...

It's snowing.

Flying snow.

Snow mountain.

Kunlun Snow Mountain.

"Found it, found it, finally found it." Grape hand holding "Millennium Snow Lotus", longitudinal laugh. "God won't let me die, hahaha."

Suddenly, there was a knife light in the oblique thorn, caught in the wind and flew in. The blade is sharp and powerful.

Grapes flashed past, jumped to the source of the flying knife and grabbed the wrist of the flying knife.

It turned out to be a young girl, dressed in white, slender and graceful, more white and flawless against the snow, and lovely.

Grape stupefied at the girl, stunned.

Unable to break free, the girl opened her eyes wide: "I will kill if I want, and I will never give in!" " "

Grape returns to absolute being: "You are trying to kill me!" " Who are you? Why should I kill you? "

Girl: "You're not chasing me, are you? Aren't you under the gun god? "

Grape replied, "No," keeping her eyes fixed on the girl's chest. "So you, like me, are also the" evil black gun "of the gun god. You see your chest is swollen like this. "

The girl blushed: "My breasts are so big. The part of my middle palm is on my leg. "

Grape: "Ah? ! Excuse me. Are you also looking for the Millennium Snow Lotus? "

Girl: "Yes. This deadly viciousness can only be solved by Xuelian. "

Grape: "there will be a snow lotus in a thousand years, and now I have picked this one." Since the girl needs help, accept it. "

Girl: "What about you? Without Xuelian, you will die! "

Grape: "There is no sorrow in life and no pain in death." I was lucky enough to meet a girl today, and this life is enough. "

Girl: "Why are you doing this to me?"

Grape: "I think I fell in love with you from the first moment I saw you."

Girl: "So soon? ! Faster than online dating? ! "

Grape: "Love is sometimes hard to say."

Tears rolled down the girl's beautiful face: "you ... why are you so kind to me?" I have lost my parents since I was a child, and no one has ever been kind to me ... "The girl's voice suddenly became sharp:" Do you know who I am? The "Phantom Knife-Shangguan Yue" in Heizi Valley is me! I killed countless people. I should have died. Do you still want to save me? "

"yes! When you went out, I recognized you as a man from Heizi Valley. " The grape said, "We are offended." A palm knocked Shangguanyue unconscious and sent Xuelian into his mouth. ...

I don't know how long it took, but Shangguan Yue woke up from a coma.

Look, the clothes are covered with grapes, and the grapes are lying next to them, leaving only a belt on their bodies, which is very toxic and dying.

Shangguanyue rushed forward: "Brother, wake up ..."

Grape slowly opened his eyes and said with difficulty, "I can't do it." Hurry down the mountain. "

Shangguanyue burst into tears: "No, I can't let you die. I want to be with you forever, forever ... "

Grape: "Don't be silly, there is only one snow lotus. Just now I most loathe to give up unexpectedly is you ... "

Shangguanyue burst into tears and suddenly his eyes lit up. On the top of the mountain in the distance, a snow lotus is shining.

"Snow Lotus!" Shangguanyue exclaimed and ran to the cliff.

Grape grabbed the small: "This must be an illusion. There is only one snow lotus. Don't go, danger ... "

Shangguanyue broke free from the grapes and climbed to the top of the cliff regardless of the danger.

Snow lotus! It turned out to be a real snow lotus.

Grapes can hardly believe their 2.5 eyes.

Look at the grapes again, there is a line on the rock next to it, which reads: "In order to celebrate the 5 million anniversary of the formation of this snow-capped mountain, Snow Lotus will be rewarded this year, get one free!"

At the foot of the snowy mountain.

Grape and Shangguan Yue live a paradise.

On this day, Shangguan Yue said sadly, "Today is August 15th. I'm leaving. I'm going back to Heizi Valley. "

Grape: "Not going?"

Shangguan Yue: "If I don't go, people from the ends of the earth and killer valley will find me, and you and I will die at their hands. They won't let you go. If you and I are destined for this life, we will meet here on this full moon next year. If I don't come, don't look for me in Killer Valley. Those who enter the valley of killers will die. "

Grape: "I'll wait for you!" " "

A year later.

It is raining.

Huainan.

Lv Xian town.

Grape waved the car to stop: "taxi horse!" " "

A carriage creaked in front of the grapes.

Grape face hurts: "Let's go!"

Coachman: "You haven't said where to go, how can I go?"

Grapes are sweating: "You let the horse go forward a little, and the horse ... the wheel of the horse ... ran over my foot."

The coachman immediately shouted, "Drive!"

The carriage took two steps forward, and the rear wheel ran over the grape foot again.

The driver grinned and said, "My guest, you are very lucky!" "

Grape: "Oh? ! "

Driver: "Thank you for the costume drama now. If it is a fashion drama, I should drive a taxi, and your feet will be useless."

The grape endured the pain, looked at the wheel marks on the shoes and waved his hand: "Never mind, just consider that you made me an embossed upper for free."

Driver: "Where are you going?"

Grape: "How much is it to the airport?"

The coachman looked the grapes up and down: "I can tell from your poor appearance that you are here to buy eggs." It costs a penny or two to go to the nearest chicken farm. "

Grape said, "I said the airport."

Driver: "Again, this is a costume drama, there is no plane."

Grape: "Then send me directly to Heizi Valley. How much is it? "

Driver: "Look!" After that, I put the watch on my wrist on the handlebar and whipped it with a whip. "And you must pay a deposit first."

Grape: "Are you afraid I won't give money then?"

Driver: "The dead don't give money. The top ten Jianghu experts, except the knife god grape, all gathered in the killer valley. None of the people who went to Heizi Valley came back alive. "

Grape sighed and said, "Yes, yes. This is twelve taels of silver. "

The carriage bumped all the way, and the grapes were in a hurry.

Grape: "I said, coachman, when will your horse get to the place in these two steps?" ! "

Driver: "No way. My horse is very healthy. I can't take two steps without illness. "

Grape: "Does your horse only take two steps?"

Driver: "No, it will take three steps when it hears waltz music."

Grape: "Shit, I can't help it. It seems that I have to do my best. " ……

The ancient road at dusk, the setting sun shines obliquely.

The carriage flew away and the bell rang.

The coachman sat in the carriage humming a tune and walked like a fly with a hard rope on his grape shoulder.

The killer valley was dark and the moon was high.

The moon on 15 is 16, and today is 16, the second day of the appointment with the moon.

Grapes know that the moon is in danger.

Grapes know that the moon won't go where they meet.

Grapes know that they came to Heizi Valley this time and will not come back alive.

Taniguchi, the janitor stopped the grapes.

Grape: "Please tell me. I am going to find Shangguan Yue. "

After a while, the janitor came back, made a gesture and said, "Please come in."

That's a cave. Grape hesitated, headed for the cave, was hit by the hole, and bowed his head and went in.

The cave is getting wider and wider, but it is winding and secret, and the cold is pressing and pressing.

Suddenly a cold light came, "Phantom knife? ! "Grape zheng, didn't dodge, fly knife stab in the chest.

When the candle was lit, everyone around us laughed wildly: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha."

The grapes struggled to stand up straight. Ahead, the yearning figure of grapes stumbled towards him.

Shangguanyue was heartbroken: "How are you? ! Why are you? ! Grape, why didn't you tell me you were a knife grape? "

Grape struggled to say, "I ... I ... I didn't tell you at that time because I didn't want to cause you trouble."

Shangguanyue burst into tears: "forgive me, forgive me, I was seriously injured when I killed the spear god." I can't see you. I killed you, I killed you. "

Grape smiled and touched Shangguan Yue's face: "Don't be silly, although we were a day late, we still met."

Grape body flash, fell to the ground, closed his eyes forever.

Moonlight, according to the body of grapes, according to his blood, blood-like moonlight. ...

Shangguanyue smiled sadly, picked up the grapes and said to the old Hu around him, "Master, can I leave the valley of killing people?" I have done what I promised you, and I have killed enough ten people for you! I just didn't expect that the tenth person I killed turned out to be a knife god! It turned out to be my favorite person! "

Old whispered to nonsense, "Knife God is dead. If you leave killer valley, you will die. Do you still want to go? "

Shangguan Yueyiran: "Yes!"

The top of the snowy mountain.

An affectionate cliff

full moon; a baby's completion of its first month of life

A beautiful girl, holding a man, floated down from the cliff. ...