I'm tired just to see you.

I used to think, with all my strength, I still can't wait. Later, I realized that maybe all the obstacles were to test whether we were qualified to spend the rest of our lives together.

One,

In 2006, I was just a freshman and traveled thousands of miles to the city where the Yangtze River and the Han River meet.

That year, even though I carefully maintained my feelings with Cao Hainuo. But after June, when I saw him hugging the beautiful girl, the fragile thread hissed and broke.

He turned away and I was in tears.

Later, I heard that Cao Hainuo also came to this city, but everything about him has nothing to do with me.

Shortly after the start of the new semester, the school's annual club recruitment day came. There are hum and haw Taekwondo, folk music, refreshing voice and unpredictable magic. Liang Xiaoyao and I joined in the fun and squeezed into a corner blocked by the crowd. It turned out that a group of teenagers were performing. They were singing "Days of Our Lives", and my eyes turned from enthusiastic drummer to lead singer, and my thoughts suddenly flew to outer space.

At that time, you were dressed in black, leaving the sea and naturally hanging on your forehead. I don't know whether the ear drill in your left ear is too dazzling or your eyes are too bright. I unconsciously pressed the shutter button of the camera.

I always remember that when I pointed the camera at you, you always looked at me with your eyes on the ground and your face was sly. You happen to be humming softly. As long as you are willing to look forward to it, hope will not be disillusioned.

Han Yifan, I used to think that you and Cao Hainuo are much alike, with the same blue earrings, the same love for music, and even almost the same eyebrows. But then I realized that you were never alike. He is not as kind and responsible as you. You can set aside one day a week to take care of the young and old, but he can't stand it for a few minutes. Girls are new to him, but you have a long-lasting heart.

Second,

Fate brings us together again. We all took part in orienteering.

When we met for the third time, I hid my nervousness and played a killing game with you. I pulled out the killer again and again. I killed you the first time. The judge asked you what your last words were. You turned to look at me and smiled, making my heart beat faster and faster. Finally, I had a chance to be killed. I couldn't wait to say my long-awaited last words, not about the game. The teammates who camped together knew how brave Xu Mouning was. They handed Han Yifan their mobile phone and said slowly, I want your number.

I'm so hungry that I can't sleep late at night. I turned on my cell phone and sent you a short message. You asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner, and I agreed without reservation. The result of rushing downstairs to your dormitory is to see Sun Zheng snuggling up to your relatives. I am really a fool, blindly following in your footsteps, but never paying attention to whether you have a beautiful woman to accompany you. I even thought you cared about me, but in the end it was just an empty joy.

I didn't dare to come to you slowly until Sun left with a group of people. You took me to eat a famous hot pot outside the school. When we were arguing about whether the bottom of the pot was spicy or not, the enthusiastic Chongqing proprietress interjected that young couples would eat Yuanyang pot, and you still stared at me with a coquettish expression. I feel better when I see your expression that almost makes me misunderstand it as spoil.

That night, I was drunk. I can't tell you what's in your eyes, but I cry loudly in your arms, no matter how your nose and tears stain your clothes. I haven't cried so freely since my parents divorced.

You walked slowly on the road behind my back. I thought it was forever. But forever, it's not up to you or me.

I sobbed and asked you why Sun is in love and you still cherish her so much. You know how much I care about you. Why do you always enjoy happiness there? You don't understand, although it will break my thoughts about you, it will make me regret it for life.

Third,

I haven't contacted you since that midnight snack. Maybe you also felt my deliberate avoidance and didn't ask more questions. The school is so big, it is so simple to hide from someone, but it seems that God will play hide-and-seek with me until the end. The Minister of Literature and Art actually asked me to participate in the activity planning of the K-Song Contest on the grounds of my rich experience. And the other day you told me that your band was going to take part in the competition and asked me to help. I gave up my job on an excuse, and now I'm standing in front of you and directing things. You asked me with an unhappy face, didn't you say you couldn't come?

After several rounds of competition, your name will be mentioned again and again on campus. Everyone is talking about how excellent and dazzling the boyfriend of the Chinese department is. Holding Han Yifan's hand, Sun Yixi's smile became more brilliant.

The distance between us seems to be getting farther and farther. Your light will shine on others, but it will hurt my whole body.

In the final, you deserved to win the championship, and you dragged me to the celebration dinner. Sun is waiting for you downstairs in your dormitory. She said helplessly, you are always drunk because she stood me up. I looked up at the thin stars and swallowed my bitterness and grievances.

After a day, Liang inexplicably asked me to open the campus network. A large piece of unsightly text immediately jumped out of the screen and the sky was flooded with red.

Fourth,

I changed my number, you left a message on Q, I was always invisible, and you took the trouble to wait under the dormitory. I stayed out late and didn't come back. Just wait for him. Until I finally hit you because of the entrance guard, I touched your tired face with love. You keep saying you're sorry. Hold me tight. That night has been deeply rooted in my heart ever since. Your chest has become a shackle for me to paint the ground as a prison.

Sun Yixi rushed out of nowhere and tore me apart and held me in her arms. He gave me a backhand. She cried and accused you of cruelty. She said that she gave up her dream for you, so how can you keep going? I stumbled back to the dormitory, hiding in the quilt and crying. I just can't figure out why you went back and begged me to forgive you, since you have planned to be with her forever. Do you just want to atone for Sun Yixi? You really love her enough to deal with her cruelty. How can you ignore my pain because you love her? Love one person, how can you torture another person to death?

I can ignore those words that insult me as a fox, and I can ignore the name of doing improper work in a bar, but there is only one thing I can never accept, and that is your betrayal. You know my past pain. How can you please my lover with it as a joke? You really don't care if others show my scars bloody.

The ear drill stolen from your ear that night sparkled in your palm, just like my ridiculous obsession, which made me unable to open my eyes full of tears. Sail, if my stubbornness is only your contempt, then I would rather be humiliated by everyone than cling to the past and be shameless. I can expose the past in front of others like a clown, and I hope it is perfect in your eyes.

I sobbed and turned on my mobile phone and sent you a multimedia message, leaving the last trace of dignity for myself. MMS is an old photo of Cao Hainuo.

Five,

I met Cao Hainuo when I went to my hometown school to play. See him again, there will always be a day to let go. He insisted on sending me back to school, and I followed him. On the way, he said a lot and apologized again and again for the harm he caused me. I smiled and gave him a gentle hug. After watching Cao Hainuo leave, I smiled and walked to you standing downstairs in the dormitory.

You asked me with a livid face if I approached you on purpose because I looked like that person. I nodded my head. You finally said that sentence yourself. I thought I would never hear it again. You want me to give you a day to make it clear to Sun. I can't believe I want to go upstairs. You grab me and cover my lips. Just a promise, I am willing to fall.

That time is our happiest memory. With the coming of the end of the world, we are tired of being together all day. But sometimes your frown makes me feel scared and uneasy. I secretly asked your good brother the way, and he faltered out everything. He told me that you and Sun were lovers in high school. At that time, you were unruly and always quarreled with a group of friends. Just before the college entrance examination, you had a conflict with others. At that time, in order to protect you, Sun blocked the brick that greeted him with his right hand and treated him for a long time. You came to this school together after the college entrance examination.

Ming Lu also told me that you gradually noticed me after the day when the club recruited me to take your picture. You don't understand how a young girl can have such tired eyes. I didn't expect it to become my preconceived idea, just what you want. The campus network incident is not your fault, because you were drunk that night and kept calling my name to Sun, and she got angry from Liang.

You had a showdown with Sun, and she threatened to make my years in a foreign land restless if I broke up. You know Sun's paranoia and madness, and you are afraid that she will hurt me, so you decided to let Sun go abroad for half a month and let her go as soon as she comes back. No wonder our days together always make me feel uneasy about losing. I thought it was sudden happiness that made me afraid of losing. It turns out that your strong reluctance makes me sad.

I pretended not to know and happily dragged you to eat hot pot. Last time that aunt laughed and teased us about our good relationship. I pinched your neck and spoiled, and you put a piece of my favorite frozen tofu and said, wife, open your mouth. I wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes without a trace. We all know in our hearts that the person you want to call your wife for life will never be me.

Ten days, ten days like a dream. I proposed the separation first. Say goodbye like this, even if I want to be with you again, I can only drift away in time. It's better to have it than never leave it.

Six,

In your last year of school, we met several times on the road. You go first, I'll watch you. When you came to me, I looked down and ignored the hand you were holding with Sun.

After graduation, I returned to my hometown and became a newspaper reporter. Running around, I don't have time to think about you at all, and occasionally I hear bits and pieces of news about you from Ming Road. I heard that you have opened a musical instrument shop called Glory of the Years. You said it was in memory of the girl you love. They all thought Sun had gone abroad, but you smiled and lowered your head, with some fog in your eyes. Another year later, Liang He got married, and I once again set foot in Wuhan to attend her wedding. Listen to her, you and Sun have been separated for a long time, and she brought back a foreigner boyfriend. She told you that this time, she should untie herself and set you free. You came to Lijiang to find me, but that day, a boy carried me back to the rental house.

I cried at her wedding. Why do we always miss each other? I staggered into your shop, and you became more calm and restrained. You are patiently introducing a musical instrument I don't know to customers. Your charming smile makes the 17-year-old girl who peeked at you in the street blush. Time seems to have returned to the past. At that time, I was the same age as you and walked towards you regardless. The girl who just went in has a quiet smile. I heard that she was introduced to you by your parents. She took you to dinner, and you stood together and amazed passers-by.

One day, I saw an article called "I want to take you to Lijiang", and my tears kept falling. Many years ago, you promised to accompany me to Lijiang and visit all the ancient towns. Those vivid images have become vivid, and I can't stand the pain. But the streets in Lijiang are much more prosperous than six years ago. You don't know how you are getting along with the person who said you want to be together.

Seven,

In the spring of 20 1 1, Lijiang mountain fire shocked the whole country. I was assigned to the foot of the mountain by the newspaper, and fell asleep as soon as I got home after a busy day. I woke up the next day and found that my mobile phone was dead. When I opened it, missed calls and text messages came one after another. After replying to my friends' messages one by one, I trembled and pressed the callback key of the last number.

Are you okay? There immediately sounded the voice of worry. Your familiar and distant voice.

I cried out in grievance. That time, I got lost and my cell phone just died. Fortunately, I remembered your number and used the public phone that took me dozens of minutes to find for help. At that time, you were angry because you couldn't find me. When you found me, you reluctantly told me to remember to charge at any time. I wrote it down like a child who made a mistake.

You thought something had happened to me, and you had planned to come to Lijiang to find me if you didn't hear from me again. I said, where's your wife?

You were silent for a while, and then you burst out laughing. I'm unknown so. After a while, you said with a smile that the girl is married and the groom is not you.

I was stunned. So, the girl in the wedding photo forwarded by Weibo, the girl your mother likes, the groom is not you? Shit! Then I didn't shed a lot of tears in vain!

I was so angry that I hung up the phone directly.

The next night, Lijiang was as blue as a shower. I got on the bus after work, and the breeze encouraged me. I sent you a short message: I sprained my ankle that day and the boy who carried me home was my cousin. Stupid!

Dee The text message rings: I am downstairs in your house.

oh It seems that I should get off at the next stop and take a taxi.

Yifan, there are three things in my drawer, a ring, an ear drill and a photo. These are all full of love you gave me. I believe there will be more in the future.