Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Look at our house.
Look at our house.
I am a lively, lovely and intelligent little girl, and I am also very helpful. Once again, I saw a blind old woman crossing the road, so I immediately ran to help her cross the road. First she was surprised, then she touched my hand, and I helped her to go forward. When I crossed the road, she touched my hand again and said to me, "Thank you!" " ""You're welcome, that's what I should do. " "What's your name?" She asked me softly, "My name is …" I didn't tell her, and I didn't know why. Maybe I want to be an unsung hero! She said nothing but smiled at me. I said goodbye to her and left.
My father has four eyes. He loves reading news articles and often asks me to watch them with Mo Mo. I'm annoyed at this because he always shows it to me. I wanted to watch cartoons, but he said, watch the news! Comics are useless! Alas ... he likes to talk about some "papers" for an hour. What: in order to save food, every grain is hard ... study hard, make progress every day ... and so on. I get bored when he says it!
My mother! I love my mother very much. Is a person who loves cleanliness, but has no cleanliness addiction. She often wants to clean the house. Once again, my relatives came to my house and saw my mother clean the house with relish. She joked, "You are so clean!" " (dialect? ) "I smiled. My mother will take me out to play, I think it's because she loves to play! Oh!
This is my family, you envy it!
Look at our house. Trees are made up of countless green leaves, the sea is made up of countless rivers, and rivers are made up of countless water drops. Our family consists of three people with different personalities.
The mother of Tang Priest.
Speaking of Tang Priest, everyone is familiar with it! The Tang Priest in A Chinese Odyssey is the embodiment of nagging, and so is my mother. It was just five o'clock in the morning when my mother woke me up. She kept urging me at my bedside: "Hurry up, hurry up ..." I thought to myself: It's not six o'clock, and the school gate won't open until half past seven! I'll cover myself with a quilt right away. Who knows, my mother came over and opened my quilt! I was wide awake at once. "Get up, or it will be too late!" She opened the curtain of my bedroom again, and I got up helplessly. When eating, she began to nag again: "Eat more vegetables to grow, don't eat too fast, you can't talk …" I walked to the school gate and entered the school gate. She shouted behind me: "Be sure to listen carefully …" This is my mother Tang Yan. Can you stand her nagging?
"the Monkey King" dad
My father, like the Monkey King, can do anything. Nothing seems difficult to him in the world. Last time the washing machine broke down at home, my parents were at a loss. My father fiddled with it a few times and the washing machine miraculously recovered. The refrigerator lights at home, any kind of household appliances "sick", as long as dad comes out, will immediately restore "health". Look, he bought a new wardrobe at home and assembled it in a few minutes. How's it going? That's awesome!
"Hong Haier" me
In The Journey to the West, Hong Haier can breathe fire. I'm telling you, I can do it too! That was when I lost my temper. Once, a friend came to my house and stole my toffee. I immediately flew into a rage and fought with her on the spot. My mother finally dragged me away, but that was when I was a child! Although I won't do it easily now, don't provoke me easily! Because I can still breathe fire!
Home is a happy place, how happy it is to talk and laugh with your family! This is our family. Please introduce your family to me.
Look at our house. I have a happy, warm and caring family, where my parents and I live.
They all care about me very much. First, let me slowly introduce my family members to you: My father's greatest advantage is his love of sports, especially running. He can run many laps as soon as he runs, which is very fast! But he has a small shortcoming, that is, he is a little lazy. One morning, my mother and I went running, but he didn't get up when we called him, so we left and waited for him in the playground for a long time but didn't come. When I came back from running, my father was still sleeping. No choice but to let him sleep again. My father is too tired to work. The advantage of my mother is that she is diligent. If she really cleaned it, the house would be as clean as when she just bought it. My mother is still very persistent. She used to be fat, but now she is slim, which is the result of her persistent exercise. Once, my mother ran for more than an hour, and my father and I advised her: "If you run again, you will become a bamboo pole." But mom still insists that running now is for health. How awesome my mother is! My hobbies are playing basketball, swimming and running, among which swimming is my favorite. I am good at butterfly stroke. My hands paddle like paddles, and my legs push up and down like freestyle. It feels good. I don't stop when I swim. Once my parents advised me to have a rest before swimming, otherwise I would be tired. I didn't listen to them. Keep swimming. As a result, my leg felt sore and almost cramped. I can't help it I don't listen to adults. I really don't listen to the old man, and I will suffer in front of me!
My parents still love me the most in the world, and I love them and my family. When I grow up, I must repay them well.
Look at our house. There are all kinds of people in our family. Temper and character are not unified. Take watching TV for example, there will be many "fights". Next, let me introduce my family to you.
There are two TVs in my house, one is upstairs and the other is downstairs, so there can still be a "fight". Let's start with my parents! What kind of TV series they like to watch is different, so they always fight for the remote control. My father likes watching TV dramas such as the Anti-Japanese War, and my mother likes watching Ancient Times. Look! They are fighting for the remote control again! My father wants to see the finale of Snow Leopard, and my mother wants to see The Queen of the Palace. She thought about it all night and wanted to see Zhen Xuan dance. Hey! To tell the truth, my father has seen the snow leopard many times and is still watching it now. Maybe he can write down his lines now! Ever since my mother fell in love with the queen in the palace, she has been obsessed with Zhen Xuan all day. As soon as she saw Hua Guifei, she couldn't wait to "fish" her out of TV and beat her up. My parents like watching TV series, and they gave birth to me who likes watching cartoons. As the saying goes, "Don't enter the house unless you are a family." This sentence suits our family very well.
I also have a brother who is twelve years older than me. He and my sister-in-law seem to be in harmony. However, you don't know that they also have different preferences when watching TV. One likes watching idol dramas and the other likes watching sci-fi movies. Hey! These two people are always quarreling about watching TV. There is a computer in their room. My sister-in-law asked my brother to watch it on the computer, but he just refused. He also made an excuse to say, "I'm watching American science fiction movies. How can I watch it on the computer? " Look at my brother's serious appearance. He wants to laugh when he looks at it. My sister-in-law has recently fallen in love with "different handsome guys" and fantasized about electromagnetic force all day. Hey! My brother doesn't even know what to say about her. My brother is born with a good temper, so my sister-in-law always has the upper hand.
Look, how interesting our home is!
Look at our house. Look, the one sitting in front of the mirror with beautiful makeup is my mother. She loves beauty very much. The one who chatters while cleaning is my father; I am the one who hummed while doing my homework.
One day in the summer vacation, Tintin Tintin, I was awakened by my father's cell phone ringing. I just woke up and remembered that I was going to travel today. My spirit recovered immediately, and my mother got up with lazy sheep.
Dad is a hothead. Like a commander, he said loudly, today's plane is at eight o'clock. Please get ready and don't miss it. I am singing happily, and my mother is making up happily. She ignores me and says slowly, Don't worry, I haven't finished my makeup and my luggage has not been packed yet. Dad proudly pointed to the suitcase. It turned out that he had finished packing last night. While listening to them, I brushed my teeth and hummed pop songs. Under dad's constant command, we got into a taxi.
On the way to the airport, the traffic was blocked. Dad is in a hurry. He looked at his watch and said loudly to the driver, can you drive faster or take a shortcut? We're going to miss the plane. The real driver was also very helpless and shook his head. And my mother sat next to me, quietly looking in the mirror and asking me if I had makeup from time to time. I made up a song! My mother, you are the most beautiful person in the world. After some tossing, you finally arrived at the airport.
Dad pulled us out of the car at once. He pushed the suitcase with his left hand and pulled me with his right hand. When he got there, he was relieved to see that there was still plenty of time. Because of the hot weather, my mother's delicate makeup disappeared. She let out a scream and rushed to the bathroom to pick up the foundation to make up her makeup. I wear headphones, nod my head while listening to music, and sometimes sing along. Dad asked me to buy three bottles of water, but I didn't hear it either. He had to take the money and go to the store by himself. Busy for a long time, my mother finally came out, her face was painted white, the lipstick on her lips looked charming and her hair was not messy.
Finally got on the plane and started a pleasant trip.
You see, how harmonious our family is. I love my family!
Look at our house. There are five people in our family, father, mother, grandfather, grandmother and me.
My mother has a tight schedule for everything. You see, the tap is washing rice in running water, the pot is full of oil, and mother is choosing vegetables. No, the flame in the pot jumped more than a foot high, which scared my mother to put the eggs into the pot quickly, so as not to cause a "fire", but the "flood" came again. I flew to the faucet like an arrow, turned off the water and helped my mother out. When cooking, my mother did not forget to touch my head with her hand and praise me for being good.
Introduced my mother, I can't help but say my father. My father is a standard football fan. Whenever he is free, he will gather in front of the TV to watch the football match. My father never missed a game during the World Cup. When it comes to football, my father always makes it clear. Once, when my father was washing his feet, he watched a football match. A beautiful jump shot on TV made my father dance. He kicked out the footbath as a football, making the living room full of water, which made my grandfather and I laugh.
I am a naughty boy, and I like to play racing. No matter what kind of racing car comes to me, it can be assembled in less than ten minutes. I also like origami, a very ordinary piece of paper, which becomes a "work" of different shapes after three or two times in my hand. My classmates all say that I am clever and handy.
My grandfather is a fan of Huai opera. Every night when the opera program arrives, he will put on reading glasses, hold a cup of tea and watch it with relish. Sometimes I am happy to see me, and I sing a few words in an orderly way, which makes my grandmother laugh and bend her back. Grandpa often tells her the plot in the opera, and grandma listens carefully!
You see, our home is very interesting!
Look at our house. 7. Dad who loves singing.
My father's hobby is singing. Although his voice is not very good, he likes to sing strangely. No matter what happens, he is humming a tune at home. Whenever someone asks him to go to KTV, he will not hesitate to promise to run faster than an ostrich. Sometimes, my father will perform songs in a particularly funny way. Once at home, his mother grabbed the sofa and watched TV with him. As a result, my mother squeezed me off the sofa. Dad lay on the floor and sang, "You are a little villain. I can't hit you too much. The red smiling face stimulated my heart and ignited the fire in my chest. " It made my mother and I laugh.
Ahmed's mother
Mother loves beauty very much and likes to wear new clothes best. She dresses up every morning when she goes out. Her other hobby is shopping online. My mother is a moonlight family, sending clothes, shoes, ornaments and cosmetics almost every day ... even many daily necessities at home are online shopping. However, my mother is very diligent. Every day when my father is lying on the sofa watching TV and singing, my mother is busy cleaning and cooking is delicious. Every time my cousin comes to Guichi, she shouts, "I want to eat the dishes cooked by my sister-in-law!"
Care about me
I am a very caring "little friend". Every time I organize a fund-raiser at school, I always donate my lucky money to help students with difficulties. Sometimes when I see a stray dog in the street, I can't help touching it and then ask my mother for money to buy it some food. I like small animals best, so I have a dog named "Black Rice" at home. In my spare time, it spent a lot of happy time with me. At least one third of my paintings are about small animals.
Home is refreshing honey, home is the light in front of you when you are depressed, and home is the eternal melody. I love my family, because it is my happy harbor!
Look at our house. Look, there are four people in our family: father, mother, sister and me. The family lives in harmony, full of happiness, joy and harmony.
Mom belongs to our family. The real "boss" is also the "tigress" of this family. I gave my mother a nickname "Look". Do you know why? Now I tell you-every time I do my homework, my mother either looks at my sister, plays with her and teaches her sister to eat; Sometimes just take a book and watch me do my homework. Sometimes in the kitchen, I see if the rice in the pot is almost cooked; I seldom watch my mobile phone occasionally. So I gave my mother this nickname: "Look", isn't it funny?
Dad is a great man in my heart. Whenever I do my homework, my mother will severely criticize me when I encounter a problem that I can't or do wrong. At this time, my father would interrupt with a smile and try his best to send my mother away. When my mother found out that she was cheated, my father had already taught me a lesson, and my mother had nothing to say. But it's a pity that my father is a temporary good man. After my father left, my mother began to nag again. But sometimes I like my mother's nagging because she knows me better.
After finishing my homework, my favorite thing is to play hide-and-seek with my little sister, who hides from me. But my naive sister likes to hide behind the curtain every time, so I can find her easily. Every time I find my sister, she is very happy, giggling and holding me in her tender little arms. I like my sister!
This is my family! Happy and harmonious family.
Look at our house. Some people say that their home is like a pen. Some people say that their home is like a car; Some people say that my home is like a nest of bugs ... and I think my home is like a the legendary swordsman, where there are many heroes, and Huashan talks about swords, each showing his magical powers. Please look!
Sunflower Collection-Dad
My father is the only stable source of income for my family, and he is our cash cow. His expenses depend entirely on him, so he works very hard. Of course, there must be a magic weapon to be so busy, so my father got his "sunflower collection"-mobile phone, which my father used to contact work, arrange affairs and command "a thousand troops." In my father's words, as long as the mobile phone is there, the financial resources are rolling in.
Ling bo Wei bu ma
My mother is worse. She quit her job for my sister and me, and stayed at home with her wholeheartedly, wandering the rivers and lakes. How can she not learn some skills? My mother's study is really threatening and tempting, and she can do anything. Not only that, she also taught herself a trick-Lingbo micro-step. The effect of this move is this: first, come to your door silently with lightning speed, then gently push the door open and suddenly appear in front of you ... You may see a gentle face of Zhang Shanliang; Maybe you will see a frowning face; probably ...
Super brain-me
And I am the most powerful one in this "Jianghu", because I have a super brain, my brain can rotate more than 300 times per second, and I have a super memory. Because I like the knowledge of physical chemistry, I now practice punching in the physical chemistry of the eighth and ninth grades every day. I am awesome! I also know that I think twice before acting, so I am the best in this "Jianghu"!
Do you think my home looks like a "Jianghu"? Does every warrior in the Jianghu have his own magical powers and unique skills?
Look at our home, 10. Every life has its own home. Home is the eternal concern, the stub of happiness, the place you rely on and the destination of wandering souls.
My home is a place full of warmth and happiness. Here are my father, mother and my naughty brother. I took root here and began to grow. The days passed day by day. During this period, many things happened in our family.
My father is the backbone of this family. He is a self-confident, patient and meticulous person, who can give others an optimistic emotional contagion everywhere. Once when I was doing my homework, I racked my brains and couldn't figure out how to write a question. Neither can my mother. We are at the end of our rope, just as my father asked for help. My father patiently explained the topic to me when he saw it, and he would give several examples from time to time. In order to make me understand the topic more deeply, he will also write and draw on white paper until I understand it. I remember the math teacher said that triangle is the most stable structure. My father's home and mine are like a three-dimensional equilateral triangle, which makes me feel firm, warm and full of strength.
My mother is a hard-working person. She is in charge of this family. No matter her husband or children, what she gives is love. Once, grandma was ill. It is my mother who travels back and forth to take care of us at home, school and hospital alone every day. She is not bitter or tired, and she never complains in front of the children, just so that we don't have to work hard anymore. In my mind, she is an excellent person.
I am a good daughter in my parents' hearts. I am still young and can't make any contribution to my family. I just study hard and grow up healthily under the care of my parents. On the eve of the final exam, in order to get a good grade, I carefully reviewed in front of the desk lamp and lived up to my parents' expectations.
My home is a harbor of love, a nest of happiness, and the driving force of our family's efforts. I will always love this family.
Look at our home 1 1. There are four people in our family: father, mother, me and my brother. Each has its own personality. Although he sometimes plays the trumpet and music by himself, he can still play nice music most of the time. Let's talk about housewives first
Housewife mother
When it comes to housewives, people naturally think of fast. However, smart and capable mothers always get into some small troubles. Once, my mother cooked fish at home, and quickly dissected the fish, cut the side dishes, put them in the pot and sprinkled with salt. Mother is anxious to cook fish. She didn't put the salt bottle away. She only heard a bang. The salt bottle fell to the ground with the salt, and the salt spilled all over the floor, and the salt bottle broke. Mother kept thinking about the bottle of salt, and she blamed herself for making such a mistake.
Chef, dad.
"Men who can cook are the most attractive." Dad said proudly. Dad can cook many dishes! For example: sweet and sour pork ribs, fish with Chinese sauerkraut, shredded potatoes ... all kinds of delicious food, dad knows. Is it great? Dad brings food and joy to our family.
Leisure me
I am a careless and outgoing person. Once, my father prepared a sumptuous dinner, and I couldn't wait to eat it. As the stool is too short to eat, I want to push the rice forward by hand. But the rice bowl slipped to the ground like a tumbler. Mom and dad said I was careless.
Humorous younger brother
My brother is a humorous person, who often brings us laughter and makes the whole family boil. But sometimes it changes from humor to mischief. So, I was scolded by my parents.
Our ordinary family is full of this kind of happy laughter every day, and every day is so happy!
Look at our family 12 There are five people in my family, namely, father, mother, sister, brother and me. Each of us has our own characteristics. Listen to me slowly.
A mother who leaves early and returns late.
My mother is a kindergarten teacher and always goes out early and comes back late. Get up and disappear, and go home at night, which leads to the midnight snack left by my father for my mother becoming a midnight snack. But fortunately, my mother has time to accompany us on weekends, make us delicious sushi and take us out to play.
An amiable father.
Dad is a kind-hearted person who respects everyone, is approachable and gets along well with others. Of course, my dad is still a superman in our family, always taking care of and protecting us. Especially taking care of my mother, whenever my mother comes home late, he will be very anxious, which I can see from his expression.
A girl who likes qq.
My sister is a mobile phone fan. She keeps her mobile phone at home all day except at school. It's no use trying to persuade her, because no one can persuade or stop what she likes.
People like my sister.
As I said, my brother, like my sister, is also a mobile phone fan with similar personality, but he is much better than my sister because he listens to his parents, even though he fights with me every day for his mobile phone.
Qq Xiaodi
The so-called qq brother is me. Go to qq and play qq games every day if you have nothing to do. I can't live without qq.
This is our happy family. Although we sometimes quarrel, we still love each other.
Look at our home 13 Look, there are three people in our family * * *, my father, my mother, and our family is full of laughter together.
My mother is the head of the family and she is responsible for everything in the family. I remember once wanting to buy a two-yuan iron ball toy. My father was about to pay me when my mother stopped him and said, "What toys to buy!" " My dad stopped when he was about to pay for it. I cried and said, "What's wrong with buying a ball casually?" Mom said, "Never buy toys! "Later, I was dragged away because of this. I deliberately told my mother, "No toys. What about school supplies? " She said, "Of course. "Then I took out my mobile phone, pointed to Paul Frank's pencil case, which cost more than 60 yuan, and said," This is it. "My mother bought it without saying anything.
My father is a great cook. Every time a guest comes to his house, he will be praised for his good cooking. Every weekend, he will show his skill, and this weekend is no exception. As soon as I watch TV, I smell braised pork. I ran into the kitchen and saw a large plate of braised pork, crystal clear and fragrant. Most importantly, the outer layer of braised pork has red juice! I put a piece in my mouth, soft, juicy and sweet. When I chew fat, it is delicious. I can't help but praise it. Even people like me, who never eat fat, love it. Then I ate like crazy, piece by piece. After a while, I ruined half a plate of braised pork, and finally I couldn't eat any more.
I am a pistachio. One day, my mother had a flat tire on her bike, and it was wrong to repair the car! That's why I've been moping. I made a face. Instead of laughing, she frowned. I had an idea and told her a joke. She still does. Finally, I bowed my head and massaged my mother's back and shoulders. Finally, she smiled.
Look, this is my home, a warm and harmonious home.
Look at our family 14 Look, our family is harmonious, happy and kind, but they "do their jobs".
There are four people in our family, father, mother, me and my brother.
Dad works all day and can't stay at home. You can only come back to see us during the holidays. My mother is a standard housewife. She does some housework, cooking, washing clothes and mopping the floor, except sending my brother and me to and from school all day. Very virtuous. My brother and I have been staying at school.
During a holiday, our family of four went out to play, which was actually not fun. We just went shopping and didn't play anything.
We are ready to go home after shopping. "I'm walking on a country road …" I hummed as I walked.
On the way, my brother found a stray dog and showed it to me at once, so that we could feed it.
I saw the dog was dirty, so I quickly ran five feet away.
My brother saw my face and went to my parents at once. My parents and I have completely different attitudes:
"good! To be a caring person, the dog is so pitiful ... "So, my mother threw some bread to the dog, and the dog barked happily.
Then my mother said to me, "dogs are also spiritual." If we don't help them today, what will they think of mankind? " We must consider this problem from another angle ... "
Since then, I have become caring.
When we got home, we "did our own work", that is, did our own thing. After that, we hugged another mobile phone and played attentively.
Look, this is our family.
Look at our family 15 Look, there are three people in our family, including my father, my mother and me. The family lives in harmony, full of happiness, joy and harmony.
Mom is the real head of our family, and she keeps her word. As long as she promises you one thing, she will do it wholeheartedly. In our family, mom is like a powder keg that may explode at any time. Every day my father and I only act according to my mother's face color. If it looks good, it's ok If not, we are all in fear like a mouse seeing a cat. At this time, if the powder keg breaks out, then we have to grovel and widex will obey.
Dad is a great cook in our family, and cooking is delicious. Every time a guest comes, praise him and say, Xiao Wang, your skill is really extraordinary. Really comparable to the chef in a high-end hotel! Once I got high marks in a Chinese exam, my father made braised carp, beef tenderloin with tomatoes and fried chicken legs for us on a whim. Eating will make our mouths bleed and our stomachs round. Mom smiled and said, Dad, if this continues, won't you eat me into a big fat man?
Mom and dad are models of respecting their elders. Once, grandma came to our house to play because she had a high fever because of a cold. At this time, my parents are in the suburbs. After hearing my cry for help, they put down their busy work and hurried home without saying anything. Take grandma to the hospital, accompany her for intravenous drip and help her buy medicine. After several days of careful nursing, grandma's illness soon recovered.
I am the real king of error correction in our family. No matter who says a wrong word at home, I will catch it. Once, my mother scolded me: you bastard. I quickly said, mom, you still said that I can't reform the education, so can you. I have corrected it many times. It's Shi, not Si. Mother was angry and praised me.
Living in such a family has taught me how to live, how to study and how to be a man.
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