Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who helped me to adapt China's classical poem Mulan into a novel of about 1000 words? Thank you.

Who helped me to adapt China's classical poem Mulan into a novel of about 1000 words? Thank you.

The Huns came again. The damn Huns were so brave that they won several cities in one breath. The emperor was too scared to sleep. He ordered extensive military service overnight and went to the front to resist the strong enemy.

You can't let me spend your time, but the village chief said, presbyopia, it's your turn to be healthy and strong! Dad was trembling with fear, pointing to his leg and saying, village head, I can't walk smoothly. How can I get to the front? The village chief said this question is classic, and I'm going to send you to be a cavalry.

Dad is shaking even more. What if he falls? The village chief said meaningfully, I have fallen for you, and there are descendants. That's settled. I'll meet you at the head of the village tomorrow morning.

Mom and dad are crying, preparing for the farewell ceremony. My sister, who has no opinion, asked me in a panic what I thought. Brother cried. I patted him on the head and cried. I didn't ask you to go out for dad. Just like you, going to the front is cannon fodder. You have no wisdom and courage, even the courage to escape!

I paced a few steps, looked at my crying family and shouted, Dad, you can rest at home. I'll take care of this little thing.

They looked at me with suspicion and confusion.

Anyway, I was tired of staying at home. I wanted to find an opportunity to go out for a walk. Unfortunately, the old saying "Don't travel far when your parents are here" held me back.

I pa, kneeling in front of my father, let me go, the country is in trouble, everyone is responsible, and the kindness of parenting is rewarded. If you don't promise, I'll die.

The whole family was in tears, especially Dad, whose voice choked with tears. He said that children should be like Sun Zhongmou and daughters should be like Mulan.

The village chief saw me and was about to ask a question. I simply said, just make up the number and do my duty. Hearing this, the village chief silently handed me the armor and horses.

Being a soldier is no joke. My heart was very sad when they set up tents by the Yellow River. The sky will be used as a bed, and it will shrink into a ball with cold. Fortunately, dad escaped, otherwise his arthritis would have a bad start.

Alas, I turned over and fell asleep thinking about it.

At dawn the next day, after receiving the news that the front line was tight, the troops set out immediately, catching a day and stationed in Montenegro. The sky is vast and wild, only the sound of Yanshan war horses neighing in the sky.

I stood on the top of the mountain and reflected on my motivation to join the army this time. This is not a joke, let alone a tour. I need to adjust my mentality and turn Mulan into a man with indomitable spirit. Military orders are like mountains, and there is no room for a delicate daughter.

Since the day I went out to war, I have committed the crime of deceiving the monarch, and I have made no achievements, so I am already waiting for the crime. Only by redoubling my efforts can I make the word Mulan powerful and effective.

I decided to abandon my daughter's mentality and drink, laugh and tell dirty jokes with those men. I am as dusty and heroic as they are. I stepped into the battlefield like them, standing on life and death.

When I first went to the battlefield, I raised my weapon and couldn't kill the enemy. At the moment of palpitation, his left hand was cut by enemy soldiers and blood gurgled out.

My companion picked up a sword and killed the man for me. Among the hordes, he shouted to me, there is no one on the battlefield, either he dies or you die!

The pain in my hand is sharp. I cried with tears. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! The right hand dances the weapon, and the cold light is full of lotus flower, and there are four cries. I cried and cried all the way, never knowing that I would kill so many people at once. I must not have killed them. I have never known them, and I have never killed a chicken since I was a child in Dalian.

Why do the two armies confront each other, why do the soldiers kill each other, you and me, you and him, why not * * *?

The war drums finally stopped, all was silent, the setting sun was like blood, and bodies were everywhere on the battlefield. I was so shocked by the scene left in front of me that my knees went soft and I fell to the ground at once.

This is my first time to kill. When the company commander asked me how many people I had killed, my mind went blank. Someone stood up and answered for me, 28.

No, not that much!

Yes, he said quietly, just more. Your left hand was cut, and I watched from behind you.

That crazy moment is back. My eyes were red and I endured the pain in my left hand. To save my life, deus ex, stop my death, stop my death, so many pieces are like logging.

That man, I call him Qi, is from the Central Plains and has been an executioner for generations. He is the first sharp knife hand in the army, and his head fell to the ground with a flash of knife light.

We became friends, and Qi often gave me oral sex and taught me knife skills. He said that as a professional killer, you must have a murderous look, which comes from countless killing experiences. To a certain extent, there are higher requirements for speed, method and accuracy. It is the professional ethics of every executioner to give the victim a good time.

I have a high understanding and aura about killing people. We killed each other on the battlefield, and gradually, the number of people I killed was close to that of him. At the celebration dinner, we held a banquet to watch the military prostitutes singing and dancing. I never smile at any woman, and at the same time I scoff at the military prostitute sitting next to Qi.

Lonely and boring military career, if it weren't for this, I would have been unable to persist. Year after year, the cold clothes were worn out, and the familiar partners died suddenly. The recruits naively didn't know that it was not the victory but the silent death that greeted them.

On the eighteenth night of the twelfth lunar month, Qibi and I tried the knife method. The moonlight is cold and the cold dew is deep. I finally put the knife rest on his neck, and he said with a smile, you cut it.

I said yes, my men worked hard and blood was oozing out. He smiled mournfully and said, why don't you die at the hands of unknown Huns?

My hand went soft and the knife crashed to the ground.

Mulan, I am tired of it, day after day, year after year. When will it end? Sometimes I really want to escape, but how can I go back? Qi raised his hands, his hands were bloodthirsty, and he had nothing but killing people.

Half a month later, Qi died in battle. I know he gave up his life. I didn't cry. Qi's flute became the only memorial.

Twelve years, twelve years, my youth is buried here. The Huns finally bowed their heads, and the army is preparing to return to the DPRK tomorrow, with thousands of lives, just to achieve the reputation of the general. That night, the three armies were jubilant and drunk. Ten years ago, there were only a dozen veterans left.

Those of us who are lucky enough to go back naturally pay tribute to our deeds. I met the emperor in the golden palace-it was not the one twelve years ago, so the crime of deceiving the monarch was not established.

He wanted me to be a minister, but I politely declined, asked for a swift horse and hurried home.

After all these years, is home still there? I came home in a trance. My family is fine, my parents are old, my sister is married, and my brother is married.

I am not the Mulan I was ten years ago. I was brave, which turned my life around. My heart is hard. I am no longer the Mulan who wore the clothes and hairpins twelve years ago.

Qi, but Qi doesn't know I'm a girl. I stood at the window and sighed.

Personally, I prefer this one. . .