What are the hidden rules in rural areas?

1. When going to an elder’s home, bring some gifts.

2. During festivals, married daughters must give holiday gifts to their parents.

3. White things come uninvited and red things go uninvited.

4. Never show off your wealth, let alone your poverty. "There are people who hate people, but there are no people who laugh at them" has become the norm.

5. When drinking and clinking glasses with others, be sure to keep the rim of the glass in a low position. When someone hands you a job, you should take it with both hands to show courtesy.

6. When eating, hold your own rice bowl with your hands and do not use your hands to separate the bowl.

7. Networking is all an illusion. If you are not strong, it is useless to know anyone.

8. When eating, do not put your feet on other people's stools.

9. Don’t talk about family conflicts. No one will help you solve the problem, and more people will fan the flames and laugh at you.

10. Don’t always talk about helping others. Every time you say it, you make a hatred.

11. Don’t talk about family income. If you talk too much, others will ask you to borrow money. If you say too little, others will look down upon you.

12. Show off "filial piety" appropriately. In rural areas, special attention is paid to face and reputation, and keeping farewell is filial piety.

13. When pouring tea, pour it shallowly, and when pouring wine, pour it fully. Tea is eighty and wine is tenth.

14. When visiting other people’s homes and chatting with them, don’t shake your legs when sitting on a stool to avoid appearing uneducated.

15. Those who know how to act stupid are the real masters of doing things. You don’t have to expose someone to see them clearly, and you don’t have to fall out if you hate someone.

16. Keep your mouth shut.

17. Don’t join the crowd if you don’t have money, and don’t help others if you speak softly.

18. Don’t talk about people behind their backs. If others find out, the knot may not be untied for the rest of your life.

19. As long as the interests are large enough, no relationship can withstand the test.

20. "Three don'ts" when meeting acquaintances: don't ask about other people's income, don't talk about how other people's couples are doing, and don't ask why they don't have children.

21. Only speak a few words when you meet someone, and don’t reveal your heart. You must not have the intention of harming others, and you must not have the intention of guarding against others.

22. If there is only one cigarette left in the cigarette pack, don’t take it out and smoke it yourself.

23. The closer people are to you, the more they can’t stand your sudden change for the better.

24. Don’t accept gifts from others casually. Every gift has its purpose.

25. Never go to someone else’s house empty-handed, and never eat someone else’s food empty-handed.

26. When borrowing money, be sure to tell when you will pay it back. When you have a lot of money, take the initiative to write an IOU.

27. Your financial ability is directly proportional to your voice.

28. The roof ridge of a new house should not be higher than the roof ridges of other people’s houses.

29. When the other person is sad, being with them is the best comfort.

30. No matter how invited you are to a dinner party by chance, don’t go.

OK, let me answer!

Speaking of the "hidden rules" in rural areas, they are not actually rules. They can only be many customary habits or opinions on some things that have been formed with the development of society step by step. view. Moreover, many habits are short-lived and become history after a few years.

Let me call it a "hidden rule". Since "rural areas" covers too much, I will only talk about the unspoken rules here in recent years.

Let’s talk about weddings and funerals!

1. When the matchmaker comes home to propose marriage to his son, he must prepare the meal quickly whether it is meal time or not. If the matchmaker insists on leaving, in addition to a pack of cigarettes for each matchmaker (for both men and women), meals must also be given. If it is agreed, the matchmaker will definitely invite three to five or even more companions when the banquet is held, and each person will ask the man to prepare a generous gift before leaving.

I once hosted an engagement banquet for a cousin’s son. It was originally a matchmaker, but by the end of the banquet, there was actually a table full of people sitting at the table. Before leaving, each person asked for a large gift package of about a thousand yuan. From this, after both men and women left, I negotiated with them. We had a dispute and finally broke up.

2. During the engagement, in addition to close relatives, the man also invites some famous people to decorate his appearance. Moreover, those who accompany the man to the table must bring gifts such as cigarettes, alcohol, etc., while the women’s guests not only bring nothing, but each of them is given a gift bag before leaving. Depending on the relative, the items in the gift bags are of different grades. Most of them include tobacco and alcohol, a few packets of snacks, melon seeds and candies, and the like. The minimum price is about a hundred yuan, while the big gift package costs thousands.

3. On the day of the wedding, if two or more families in the village arrive one day (we usually choose it after the 20th of the twelfth lunar month, this often happens), whose new daughter-in-law comes in early, it means that May the future be better. Therefore, every family tries their best to advance the time. It is common for the new daughter-in-law to arrive home and the sky is filled with stars. The bride has to go to the hairdresser to have her hair done and put on makeup the night before. After midnight, she has to wait for the "bridal sedan" and has no sleep all night. When the bride gets off the sedan, there are rules for which direction she should face and which foot she should take first. The woman who supports the bride must match her zodiac signs and must not be filial.

4. On the night before the wedding, two or four married women should go to make the bed and chant auspicious words. The women who make these beds must have: two children, a healthy husband, no filial piety in three years, etc. After making the bed, two boys will be found to sleep on the new bed that night, which is called a "rolling bed."

As a result, it seems to have become a routine for some mischievous children to sprinkle some glass wool and other skin-itchy things on the new bed after a night's sleep, causing the newlyweds to suffer unspeakably.

5. "There are no young or old after three days of marriage." When the bride first enters the house, almost everyone can make a fuss, both verbally and physically. If no one is having fun at the wedding, it will make the host feel that it is not festive enough.

A few years ago, there was such a bridal chamber incident: a young man sneaked under the bed when the newlyweds were not paying attention. At the important moment when the newlyweds were inseparable, they suddenly got out and opened the door. People waiting outside rushed in. After turning on the light, several people pulled away the quilt. The bride was ashamed and angry, and had to go back to her parents' house that night. Later, the mothers of several young men came to apologize, and it took a lot of trouble to avoid a serious disaster.

6. When the new daughter-in-law returns home three days after the wedding, the groom must make a show of herself and be accompanied by at least three or five to as many as a dozen relatives and friends, each of whom must bring a big gift for the groom. On this day, the groom must sit in the main seat of his father-in-law's house. No matter how high the status and seniority of the guests are, he cannot sit in the middle of the main seat. During the meal, the groom must pretend to be reserved, not to say a word more, and not to go to the toilet - as soon as he goes out, his face or clothes will be covered with all kinds of oil paint.

7. From the time the old man dies to the time when the old man is buried, the children are not allowed to enter the door of any house (the same is true for women who are less than one month old after giving birth), or even in the house. Stop outside other people's gates. At the same time, they are not allowed to get a haircut, wash their hair or take a bath, and it is their utmost filial piety to wear a hooded head and a covered face. For three years, Spring Festival couplets are not allowed to be posted at home, and children are not allowed to wear festive colors.

8. During the suspension period, pregnant women and all livestock and poultry are not allowed to approach.

9. All items needed for the funeral, even if you borrow a shovel or a needle from a neighbor, must be paid for, which is equivalent to renting from someone else's house.

10. Those who come to pay their respects are not allowed to park their vehicles outside other homes, nor are people allowed to stay in front of other homes.

Once I went to a cousin's house to pay my respects. While I was waiting outside the house opposite his house, the owner (an old lady) scolded me and refused to let me go. The chicken was killed at its footing before letting me go.

11. As long as someone comes to pay filial piety, the filial son and grandson must lie down on the ground and cry loudly, and the cry should be heard by the visitor. If you have many relatives, you will often cry dozens or hundreds of times a day.

12. During the wake, filial sons and daughters can only squat, lie down, or kneel, and never sit on a bench or sofa. Three days after the old man is buried, he must go to his uncle's house to pay filial piety. Likewise, no matter how much the uncle's family persuades him, he cannot sit there.

At the same time, Xiaobu's shoes cannot be lifted up to the heel and can only be worn by stepping on them.

13. After the old man seals the grave, the daughter-in-law should grab a handful of soil and put it in her pocket to take home. If there are many sisters-in-law, they will run home as fast as they can after carrying the soil. Whoever gets home first will indicate that her family will have a better life in the future. No matter son or daughter, after leaving the grave, they must never look back.

14. After the funeral, the son will often make a fortune, while the daughter will have to serve the old man during his lifetime and be "consumed" after his death.

I have just returned from a family that had a funeral. Let’s take this family as an example: the deceased had a son and three daughters. The son was fifty-five years old and lived a well-off life. The family situation of the one sister and two sisters was not as good as he. But in order to let his sisters pay more gifts, he asked his daughter (who was already married) to go to the gift room first and pay a gift of 10,000 yuan. According to our unspoken rules here, the amount of gift money goes first to the daughter, second to the niece, third to the granddaughter, and fourth to the nephew and wife’s nephew (nephew from the mother’s family). From there, it depends on the relationship and family situation.

His daughter (granddaughter of the deceased) paid 10,000, so his sisters (three) and cousins ??(eight) should be more than 10,000 according to common sense. This makes it possible for those who are not wealthy or Those who did not prepare so much money when they arrived were caught off guard. They discussed and discussed, and it was not until lunch that they made a decision: each daughter's family would have 11,000 yuan, and each niece's family would have 5,000 yuan.

People discussed this topic in the afternoon: Even if his daughter pays one hundred thousand, he can pay it back to her later. This is just a "shill" that everyone can see. But his sisters and cousins ??really lost all their money!

15. Relatives with the same relationship, rich or poor, must pay the same amount of gifts.

I have a very good friend who is a brick factory owner. When his mother-in-law passed away, he and his brothers-in-law had agreed in advance that each person should pay 10,000 yuan as a gift. However, when he handed over the gift, he was more thoughtful and asked the manager how much his brother-in-law would pay as a gift. He was told that his brother-in-law would pay 12,000 yuan, and he took out the bill for him to check. After seeing it, he immediately became angry and threw 20,000 yuan on the table. As a result, the two families later became enemies.

There are many more, I just remembered these for a moment, I am right and wrong, thank you for reading and commenting.

1. Keep a low profile and don’t show off your wealth. It has become the norm to “hate some people but laugh at others”.

2. Don’t show off your poverty, because you don’t know how you will be laughed at behind your back.

3. Never talk about others behind their backs. If others find out, the knot may not be untied for the rest of your life.

4. Try not to borrow money, especially if you don’t repay it, your reputation will be ruined.

5. Building a house is a major event in farmers’ lives. Do not offend the people who build the houses.

6. Say hello to people you meet, even if you don’t know them.

7. Only speak a few words when you meet someone, and don’t reveal your heart.

8. It is not true at all that you will be a living person for the first half of your life, and you will take care of your children for the second half of your life.

9. Everyone loves to take advantage.

10. When visiting relatives, don’t go empty-handed.

11. If someone else gives you a red envelope, you should give it back.

12. Don’t talk about family conflicts everywhere. No one will help you solve the problem, and more people will fan the flames and laugh at you.

13. Never recommend products or projects with good intentions. Once they fail, the whole family will suffer.

14. Don’t pry about other people’s income.

15. Don’t pick the fruit trees on the mountain indiscriminately, they all have owners.

16. The things in the ground are the same.

17. For some etiquette such as weddings and funerals, follow the arrangements of the elderly at home and do not mess around.

18. Don’t interrupt, comment or give any opinions on other people’s housework.

19. Don’t always ask about other people’s children’s grades.

20. Don’t poke people’s pain points, as you may offend others without knowing it.

21. You cannot ask others to pay back money during the first month.

22. You have to go to see patients in the morning.

23. When going to someone else’s house, don’t stand on the threshold.

24. Never open an umbrella in the house.

25. Do not use chopsticks to insert rice standing in a bowl.

26. It’s hard to repay the favors you owe others.

27. Don’t complain that life is too difficult in front of older people or elders.

29. When you are living a better life than others, speak a little more hypocritically.

30. Don’t give advice to people you don’t know clearly, even if your advice is absolutely correct.

31. Know what you should and should not ask.

32. Don’t interrupt others casually.

33. Put on your ears and close your mouth.

34. Be wary of people who gossip about others in front of you, they will gossip about you in front of others.

35. Not everyone has empathy.

36. Know how to say no. There are things you should help with and things you shouldn’t.

37. Ridiculing at the people and things that others like is tantamount to laughing at him or herself.

38. Everyone wants you to live well, but they don’t want you to live better than them.

39. Don’t make decisions for anyone else.

40. Spend more money on weekdays and be more open-minded when trouble comes.

Do you know anything else?

1. Keep a low profile and don’t show off your wealth, otherwise you will cause a lot of trouble;

2. Don’t talk about friendship with them, they only value profits, and even a small profit can cause a lot of trouble. A big conflict;

3. Don’t talk to them about your private affairs or secrets, otherwise the whole village will know about it;

4. Don’t lend them money, and if you do, don’t Go and pay them back, otherwise your reputation will be very bad;

5. Don’t make random jokes with them. Some things you think are jokes, they will take them seriously and even fall out with you;

6. It is best to bring gifts when you go to their home. If they give you something, be sure to return the gift!

…………

Whoever fails to abide by the unspoken rules in rural areas will become a loner.

For example, your neighbor asked you how many kilograms of grain you harvested from three acres of wheat? You have to say less than three to two hundred pounds. Because, if you say it's too high, if his family doesn't fight as much as yours, they will think you are bragging and belittling her family.

If you say too little, he will remember in his heart: You are fake. Even if I am poor and starve to death, I will never come to your door and borrow your food. Is it necessary to lie to me?

Don’t show off your filial piety: I took a flight on a rainy day and gave my two elders a meal of dumplings; at the market the day before yesterday, I bought three kilograms of mutton for them; during the Chinese New Year, I sewed new clothes for each of them. .

The person being listened to will think that you must have heard some gossip that is not good for you. Here, use the topic to teach her a lesson.

Not to mention that my child studies well and has won six certificates in three years; he has never scored above 80 points in exams; he plans to go to Tsinghua University to go to college.

She will feel that you are comparing yourself to your own children and making yourself look bad. She will even think that you are sarcastically insulting her whole family.

The unspoken rules in rural areas are rural regulations and folk customs. These are obviously regional and related. Weddings and funerals, New Years and festivals, worldly relationships, and conventions are established. This may be what I call unspoken rules!

1: The pot for cooking medicine can only be borrowed but not returned.

2: When the daughter returns to her parents’ home, the daughter and son-in-law cannot sleep together.

3: Don’t go empty-handed when visiting relatives.

4: Do not use chopsticks to knock the dishes when eating.

5: Don’t rush to the door when others are cooking.

6: In rural areas, no notice is required. Once you know, you have to be there. If you know and don’t go, you will be rude and others will not help you in the future.

7: You have to go door-to-door to announce red events in rural areas. Failure to do so would be rude to you. Whether others come or not is someone else’s business.

8: A married girl spends the New Year at her mother-in-law’s house on the first day of the Lunar New Year and is not allowed to return to her parents’ home. On the second day of the Lunar New Year, she and her son-in-law go back to their parents’ home to celebrate the New Year.

9: When eating, chopsticks cannot be inserted in the center of the bowl.

10: When naming your child, avoid words that are the same as the names of your elders.

11: When you see elders in the village, be sure to say hello.

12: During the meal, everyone who meets me will ask if they want to eat at my house. At this time, you cannot take it seriously and use other excuses to shirk it. If you really go to someone's home to eat, you will be disliked by others.

13: You cannot hold an umbrella at home.

14: Once you get rich, you can’t show off your wealth in the village.

15: When entertaining guests, you must not let them stand at the door

16: In the village, you must speak the village dialect and do not speak other languages.

17: When going on a blind date in the countryside, you need to treat the matchmaker to a feast first.

18: Don’t speak ill of others behind their backs. If they find out, they will hate you forever.

19: Pregnant women cannot sit on the wedding bed.

20: Don’t ask about people’s income.

A few words from rural people in the new countryside:

1. When you meet people, you must greet them warmly. Whether you like them or hate them, if you like to live your life like people in the city, , then you will soon be isolated by everyone, they will think you are arrogant, they will not look down on you, and no one will help you no matter what happens.

2. Live a low-key life and don’t show off your wealth. In the city, if you show off your wealth, people will praise you and please you and want to hug you. In the countryside, you will only be hated. When you get into trouble, you will be treated by everyone. Watch jokes together;

3. Borrow and repay, whether it is money, material, human resources or favors, if someone helps you, you have to take the initiative to return it. It is not just a thank you that will solve the problem, so be obedient. It is not used in rural areas;

4. Children who are married off or come to the house do not need to be provided for in old age, and are left to the children who keep the family. Whoever benefits will be provided for in old age, except for the only child.

1. If someone casually asks you to go to their home for dinner, don’t actually go to their home for dinner. Most of them are just out of politeness and you don’t really want to invite them.

2. When you meet a stranger from outside, be careful and don’t tell him about the village affairs easily.

3. Have a good relationship with people from the same village, at least don't make the relationship too bad, otherwise it will be very embarrassing if you meet every day.

4. Have a good relationship with your neighbors. At some critical times, neighbors can be more helpful than relatives.

5. Don’t go to other people’s homes when you have nothing to do. Some people in their homes will welcome you, and some will not.

6. Don’t put your own things on other people’s property, don’t step over boundaries, and don’t take advantage of others.

7. Generally, you can only go to other people’s homes to eat when you are doing official or trivial matters. However, if you are an adult, you must help with the work, except for the elderly.

8. When someone calls you to do something important or trivial, you must go. When you go, you should actively help. Don’t be lazy. If you are lazy, others can see it. If you know that you are lazy, go to the house. When your family is doing red and white things, others will also be lazy.

9. You must pay for road construction, ancestral hall construction, etc. in the village that everyone has to share. Don’t save that little money. If you do, others will look down on you and think you are too stingy and stingy. Maybe the ancestral hall won’t let you in.

10. People from the same village will have some friction to some extent. Don’t worry too much about small things. For big things, you can let the village chief or others intervene.

11. When you go to someone else’s house to eat, be sure not to turn over the dishes, and don’t just eat the most delicious dishes. That is very tasteless.

12. Don’t evaluate other people’s wives or husbands, and don’t evaluate other people’s children. Those are other people’s private matters.

13. Brothers must be harmonious and united, so that others will not dare to bully you, and only then will someone be willing to help you when they bully you.

14. When people ask about your income, it is best to be careless and don't tell them directly. If you say too much, others will be jealous and will ask you to borrow money. If you say too little, others will look down on you.

15. Don’t show off. When you get rich, don't show it off when you go back. If you show it off, someone in the village will be jealous, which may cause you trouble.

16. If you are relatively rich, or become rich, you should contribute more money to major events in the village, such as building ancestral halls and roads, otherwise others will still look down on you.

17. If someone comes to ask you for help, and you can help easily, you must go and help, because we are all in the same village, and sometimes you will encounter times when you need help from others.

18. When someone helps you, you should invite them to your house for a cup of tea and take out some snacks for others to eat.

19. Remember to remember the gifts given by others when doing red things. You will have to repay the same amount when the time comes. It would be better if you can repay more.

20. When you meet someone from the same village, smile and say hello. If you are older than you, know how to call people. Some people call people according to their seniority.

21. You must apologize to your family members or your own livestock for damaging other people’s crops.

Unspoken rules in rural areas:

1. Implicit. For example, if you ask about your child's salary and income, you should answer: average, to maintain daily life. If you say tens of thousands, the other person will not be happy, but probably disappointed, because his own children are far inferior to yours;

2. Keep a low profile. Your own child has opened a company, hired people, and made millions in annual profits. Without positive publicity to the outside world, you should answer others: You have a small company, just make a living. This answer can avoid the jealousy of most people;

3. Don’t borrow money from others. Rural people are most taboo about others borrowing money at every turn;

4. Regardless of men and women, don’t just try to find someone to borrow money from. Chattering can easily lead to disputes and gossip;

5. Borrow things, such as farm tools, and return them after use. It's easy to borrow and return, and it's not difficult to borrow again. Don't wait for others to ask for it, and keep it clean. Some people don't clean up the soil on their shovels and picks after using them, leaving a perfectly good tool rusty. The owner is very disgusted;

6. Don’t just care about yourself when operating the responsible field. You should strictly observe the boundaries and not “take the lead”. Some people only think about themselves, and intentionally expand outward when going to the fields, encroaching on their neighbors' territory, and everyone hates it;

7. After planting in the spring, your own pigs, chickens, ducks, geese, cattle, and sheep need to be enclosed. Get up and don't let them roam anymore, lest the animals damage the dealers in the field.

There are also some hidden rules, which I will not go into details here.