100 humorous classic stories

In a zoo, a keeper was telling jokes to the piglets and puppies in the zoo. They were very funny. All the other animals laughed, but the piglets did not laugh. Then he told another joke, which was not funny at all. None of the other animals laughed, only the piggy laughed. The breeder asked the pig: Just now the joke was funny, but you didn't laugh. Now the joke is not funny, but you laugh. Why? Pig said: Because I think the first joke is funny! (Pigs are slow to react) "100 words of classic jokes" ＿Sir, the dish you asked for has arrived

A friend's surname was Liu, and he said that according to the genealogy, the next generation should be called Liu Xing. I said you want to give birth. My daughter’s name is Liu Xingyu, how romantic. He said no, I want a leader, and I want a domineering name, Liu Xingchui! One day, the teacher walked into the classroom, and the students stood up and shouted: "Good morning, teacher!" The teacher said angrily: "Just good morning? What about me in the afternoon? Isn't that bad?" So the students shouted again: "Good afternoon, teacher!" The teacher said angrily: "What about me in the evening?" The students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher!" The teacher nodded and said, "That's enough, now shout it again!" Students They shouted together: "Teacher, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening!" The teacher said: "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. We practice like this. I will say one thing and you will say the antonyms out loud. Start now." Teacher: " The weather is very good today.” Student: “It’s sunny everywhere.” Teacher: “There are people on the road.” Teacher: “There’s no one on the road.” "Young." Student: "Old." Teacher: "Stand." Student: "Lie down." Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road." Student: "There is a young man lying on the road." Teacher: "I picked up a dollar." Student: "I lost a dollar." Teacher: "I picked up a dollar and gave it to the teacher." Student: "I lost a dollar and stole it from the teacher." Teacher: "Wrong , you can’t say that!” Student: “That’s right, you should say that!” Student: “That’s right.” Teacher: “That’s okay, that’s legal!” "Teacher: "I said it is wrong." Student: "We say it is correct." Teacher: "Listen to what the teacher says. It is correct!" Student: "What the teacher says is wrong! "You are stupid." Student: "We are smart." Teacher: "Stop!" Student: "Continue!" Teacher: "Stop now! Stop talking!" Student: "Let's continue now! Keep talking!" Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I say stop!" Student: "We are all geniuses, we say continue!" Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" Student: "Teacher listens to us!" Teacher: "Students have to listen to the teacher "Yes!" Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!" Teacher: "Now you stop practicing!" Student: "Now we continue to practice!" Student: "We have a beginning and an end." !” Teacher: “Then stop! Stupid pig!” Student: “Then we should continue! Genius!”…Then the teacher walked out of the classroom angrily. Two old men were playing chess. Said to an old man: Uncle, your car has been lost. The old man said: Then read the car (ju). Young man: Oh, uncle, you have lost your bicycle (ju). Sir, the bicycle was stolen.

There was a mental hospital, where many mentally ill people lived. One day, the director there thought of a way to see the recovery of the patients. He said to these patients, "You all come here and say He drew a door on the wall and said, "Today, whoever opens this door can go home." Upon hearing this, the mentally ill people swarmed up and surrounded the painted door. The dean felt very disappointed. , at this time, he found that a patient was still sitting in the original position. He thought it was okay, so he stepped forward and asked, "Why don't you open the door?" He looked at the dean and said something, and the dean listened. Afterwards, he couldn't laugh or cry. The patient secretly told the director: "I have the key here."