What’s the joke in 2008?

The college entrance examination was filled with laughter and Chinese dictation (many people fainted with laughter)

The college entrance examination is over, and after the college entrance examination it is the high school entrance examination... The test questions are all kinds of weird, and the answer sheets are also diverse. I really admire today’s students

Ah, they think outside the box and are wild and unconstrained, which is so different from the rules-based behavior we had back then, haha. Look at the fill-in-the-blank questions in a set of Chinese language test papers -

1. ___, I feel haggard for Yixiao

Student’s answer: I will never regret taking off my clothes and belt

(The correct interpretation is "As the clothes get wider, I will never regret it." I admit that this is a problem with my thinking)

2. Asked how he could get such clarity, ____

The classmate answered: In my heart, I There is a clear spring

(The correct interpretation is "Only the source of living water comes", we are still a little bit attached to the water~~~)

3. Why should *** cut the west window Candle, ____

Classmate’s answer: The couple sat together until dawn

(The Chinese teacher fainted with laughter while marking the papers. Later, when I mentioned this in class, I fainted again! The correct interpretation is "But Bashan When it rains at night")

4. The earthworm shakes the big tree, ____

The student answered: Not moving

(The correct answer is "It's ridiculous to be overconfident" . Motionless, impressive, very consistent with the facts)

5. The beauty of a gentleman as an adult, ____

Classmate’s answer: The villain wins the love of others

( Directly fainted to death)

6. If you are poor, you will be alone, ____

Student answer: If you are rich, you will have a group of wives and concubines

(Correct answer: If you are prosperous, you will benefit the world)

7.___, who in the world does not know you

Student answer: Only one who looks like Saddam

(Khan|||....)

p>

8. There are three thousand beauties in the harem, ____

Student’s answer: Iron rods can also be ground into needles~~~ (I guess it’s not as simple as grinding them into needles)

(The correct interpretation is "Three thousand favors in one body")

9. Without a colorful phoenix with two flying wings, ___

Student answer: A plucked phoenix is ??not as good as a chicken

Another student answered: The husband and wife both returned the house

(The correct interpretation is "the hearts are in harmony")

10. The sun rises in the east and rains in the west, ___

Classmate’s answer: Fighting at the end of the bed

Another student answered: Marrying the right man in the wrong sedan chair

11.__, a bad wife will not leave the court

Classmate’s answer: Don’t go to bed with a married woman

(Chinese teacher is furious!)

12. I wish you a long life, ____

Classmate’s answer: One A memory that will last forever

(I laughed wildly at the time, but now I think it’s quite a classic.

The correct answer is "Qianli *** Chan Juan")

13. Egrets fly in front of Xisai Mountain, ___

Classmate’s answer: Turtles crawling along the river in East Village

(That’s right, it’s quite neat)

14. I advise God to cheer up, ____

Classmate replied: God roared at me three times

(The correct answer is “ Recruiting talents regardless of style", Gong Zizhen)

15. I am born with talents that will be useful, ____

A student answered: Show your magical powers at critical moments

Another student answered : The son of a mouse can dig holes

(The Chinese teachers in the entire office laughed wildly without any image)

16. If the sky is affectionate, the sky will also grow old, ___

Classmate replied: If a person is not romantic, his youth will be wasted!

(The correct interpretation is "If the moon has no hatred, the moon will be full" Li He's "The Golden Bronze Immortal's Ci Han Song") (Another sentence is "The right path in the world is the vicissitudes of life")

17. Relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, ____

Classmate replied: Please don’t tell him

(The correct interpretation is "A heart of ice is in a jade pot")

18. End of term The first couplet came out of the exam, the first couplet is a hero's sword that has not grown old

The third-year junior high school student's second couplet is: My mother's charm is especially beautiful

19. Good medicine is bitter in taste and good for the disease, ___

Classmate’s answer: You would be a fool if you don’t eat

Since ancient times, no one has ever died, ___

Classmate’s answer: It’s just that people die in order

(Ending: After the parent-teacher meeting, he was left by the teacher to lecture the bird...)

20. There is a bright moonlight in front of the bed, ___

Classmate answered: Li Bai sleeps sweetly

21. A glimpse of the leopard through the tube , ___

Classmate replied: It scared me

(Hahaha! The correct answer is "it can be seen")

22.___, flew into the homes of ordinary people

Student answer: Konka Caiba TV

23. Grape wine luminous cup, ___

Student answer: Lots of money and beautiful women

24.____, pedestrians on the road are dying

The masterpiece of a first-grade junior high school student: a ghost knocking on the door in the middle of the night

25. There is another test of Tao Yuanming's "I can't give up for five buckets of rice" ", the classmate filled in "Just give me six buckets"...

26. Laowulao and man's lao, ___

Classmate's answer: Wife, my wife and man's wife

(The teacher later said that the classmate was particularly dedicated when marking the paper, haha)

27. I think back then, when we were strong and strong, ___

Classmate replied: Look Today, stalking

(the correct meaning is "to swallow thousands of miles like a tiger")

28. I got "Three Stooges, ___" in a fifth grade exam

p>

Student answer: The stench is the same

(It made the invigilator and the principal outside laugh)

29. A student in the first grade of junior high school said to the couple, "Dengcheng Baiyun" Holding the mountain scenery in my arms, ___"

Classmate replied: I went to the hotel to hug the lady to bed

(His Chinese teacher almost vomited blood and died on the spot)

30. If love lasts for a long time, __

Classmate replied: It’s time for two people to get married

31. Thousands of sails are passing by the side of the sinking boat, ___

Classmate’s answer: There are many ways to open a peacock’s tail

32. It’s only when the books are used that I regret the lack of them, ____

Student’s answer: There is not enough money to spend by the end of the month

33. Days If there is love, the sky will grow old, ____

Classmate’s answer: If a person has love, he will die early

(The correct interpretation is "If the moon has no hatred, the moon will be full")

34 .No one has died since ancient times, ___

Classmate’s answer: Who poops without paper

(No language...)

35. Once Examining Li Qingzhao’s dreamlike order, “Do you know? Do you know? ___”

Student answered:

SORRY I, DONT KNOW...

(The correct interpretation is "It should be green, fat, red and thin")

36. Once I was studying a sentence of Mr. Lu Xun: "___, I use my blood "Splashing Xuanyuan"

Classmate's answer: He stabbed me with his knife

37. In the Chinese language exam, there is a revolutionary poem in the fill-in-the-blank section: "The door for people to enter and exit is locked, __

, a voice shouted: __I long for freedom, but how can a human body crawl out of a dog hole

..."

The student answered: The hole for the dog to crawl out of is locked too/ Damn, it's all locked!

38. There is always love in thousands of mountains and rivers, __

Student answered: Can you give me one more

(The marking teacher said: Love It’s love, it’s divided, it doesn’t matter if you give more than one share)

39. When I was in the first year of high school, during a monthly exam, the sentence “Look up to the sky and laugh and go out,” (correct answer) How can I be a Penghao person? ".

Someone in the class wrote: I accidentally twisted my waist. There is another sentence, the previous sentence: "Clear water brings out hibiscus, (correct answer) nature removes the carvings"

. Some people wrote, Lotus roots emerge from the mud; others went even further and wrote: Heroes emerge from troubled times

40. I asked you how much sorrow you can have, ___

Classmate replied: Just like a pot of Erguotou

(The teacher criticized "You drank too much again...")