Joke English that must be shared every day

Teacher: If Shakespeare were still alive, would he be a great man?

Student: Of course! He must be a great man, because so far no one has lived to be over 400 years old.

Teacher: If Shakespeare were still alive, would he be a great man?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man, because so far, no one has lived to be 400 years old.

1 A little boy asked his father, Dad, how much does it cost to get married? The father replied, I don't know, son. I'm still paying! ! A little boy asked his father how much it would cost to get married. Dad said, I don't know, because I am still paying the bill.

A Sunday school teacher is telling her students the importance of making others happy. "Now, children," she said, "have any of you ever made others happy?"

"Teacher," said a little boy, "I made someone happy yesterday."

"Well done. Who's that? "

"My grandmother."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother happy. "

"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her,' Grandma, I'm going home', and she said,' Well, I'm very happy!' "

The teacher of a Sunday school (a children's class held by the Christian church on Sundays to instill religious ideas in children) is telling the students the importance of making others happy. "Now, children," she said, "have any of you ever made others happy?"

"I, teacher," said a little boy, "I made others happy yesterday."

"Well done, who is it?"

"My grandmother."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you make your grandmother happy. "

"Well, teacher. I went to see her yesterday and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her,' Grandma, I'm going home.' She said,' Oh, I'm glad!

Dick is seven years old and his sister Catherine is five years old. One day, their mother took them to their aunt's house to play, while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four, their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a beautiful cake and a knife, and said to him, "here, Dick, here's a knife. Give me this cake." Cut this cake in half and give it to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman. "

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How can a gentleman do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to others." He menstruation answered at once.

Dick said "Oh". He thought about it for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her, "Catherine, cut this cake in half." .

Dick is seven and his sister Catherine is five. One day, their mother took them to their menstrual home to play and go to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour. At half past four, menstruation led Dick into the kitchen. She gave Dick a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Here, Dick, here's a knife. Cut this cake in half and give it to your sister. However, you have to remember to act like a gentleman. "

Dick asked, "Like a gentleman? What did the gentleman do? "

He Jing immediately replied: "A gentleman always gives a big piece to others."

Dick said "Oh". He thought for a moment, then he took the cake to his sister and said to her, "Catherine, cut this cake in half."

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to put them?

Stan: In the bathroom.

Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: blindfold them!

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where do you want to put them?

Stan: The bathroom.

Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: blindfold them!

George knocked on his friend's door. When his friend's mother answered the phone, he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"

"No," said mother, "it's too cold."

"So," said George, "can his football come out to play?"

George knocked on his friend's door. When my friend's mother answered the door, he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"

"No," said mother, "it's too cold."

"Oh, then," said George, "can his football come out to play?

Daily expressions of essential English for going abroad

▲ Dinner is a way of gathering. The host prepares the venue and tableware. Participants must bring a plate to prepare drinks. You'd better ask the host in advance.

▲ Pull over! Stop the car.

▲ Give me a line! Write me a letter.

▲ Give me a call. = Call me! Call me!

▲ Eat here or take away? Dining room or takeout.

▲ cool; That's cool! Equal to the slang "cool!" Commonly used by young people in China. , said not bad! Can be used for people or things.

▲ What's the matter? What happened? = What's new? Say hello when you meet, "What have you been up to recently? Is there anything new? " The general answer is "nothing!" Or "nothing new!"

▲ cut it out! = Knock it out! = Stop it! Don't do that! Jokes between classmates.

▲ Don't give me a hard time! Don't mess with me!

▲ Cheer up! Cheer up!

▲ Do you have time? What time is it now? Don't mistake others for asking you out.

▲ Hold on. = Don't give up. Keep working hard. Hold on a little longer.

▲ Give me a break! Give me a break! (joking)