Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who has a sketch or cross talk about training, urgently needed! ! !
Who has a sketch or cross talk about training, urgently needed! ! !
A: What do you care about cross talk?
Say, learn, tease and sing.
What can A sing?
B can sing a lot, such as Peking Opera, Pingxi, Bangzi, Drum and Zilaibao. ...
A Can you still say "counting treasures"?
b!
It is not easy to count a few treasures.
B that's nothing, I'll have a plenary session!
What is a? First of all, these seven boards are not easy to play.
B would you?
A will!
You hit one.
A line. (playing the board)
Oh! He wants to eat!
A: Don't look at this beggar's gadget, it still can't hit!
What is this? (playing the board)
Oh! He wants to eat too!
Wow! Wait for me here!
In fact, it was not easy to count treasures in the past.
B what?
A: It must pay attention to the existing words and be quick.
Which is faster than B?
Quick eyes, quick heart and quick mouth.
Short-sighted
A pair of eyes saw it.
B fast heartbeat?
A heart immediately made up words.
B is a quick talker?
Asan said this from his mouth. You see, as soon as we enter the street, no matter how many businesses there are, there are 360 lines, and everything we meet has words.
Can you do it?
A I'm pretty sure.
B ok! In this way, you are like a big shopkeeper who came to treasure, so I went to open a shop. What do you think of my business?
I have all the words that are suitable for your business.
B, forget it from now on. This table is not a table, but a business counter. I am the shopkeeper, and you are the baby of this size.
A line! I am the treasurer, and you are the shopkeeper of business!
B less manned?
A manned!
What does the shopkeeper do in B?
A Anyway, the business belongs to your family!
B no! I'm the owner!
A line! I have a word to describe all your business.
B come on!
A (playing board) "Play bamboo board, come to the street, one street and two lanes are good for business. There are also buying, selling, and signs and signs. Gold signboard, silver signboard, Li Li La La Hang up. I didn't come these two years, and the big shopkeeper made a fortune! "
Go, go, go!
Answer: "Tell me to go. I can't go until it's dark. I'm empty-handed and have no money. I have to be hungry all night today! " "
B Then why do you only want food?
The shopkeeper asked me why I had to eat alone, and I couldn't blame myself for begging. Chiang Kai-shek fought the civil war and changed legal tender into gold dollar certificates, from one hundred to one thousand, from one thousand to ten thousand. I bought a catty of noodles in the street, and the ticket cost two and a half jins! The economy oppressed the people, so I bought rice! "
B hey hey hey!
A: "Hey, you, me, I'm so stupid. I knew that the rules of the shopkeeper were big, so I won't say it! " "
What do you want from me?
A: "Not me, I am ashamed. I want anything you buy or sell. Maybe I want a believer in the Catholic Church, Jesus and Confucius. As long as you have the font size, I'll get it today. "
B wants it. Wow! What business did you see?
A "I haven't read the San Zi Jing since I was a child. I can't recognize your font size. "
B can't recognize it clearly! Tell you what: grocery store!
1 "hit the bamboo board, took a big step and opened the coffin shop manned. Your coffin is well made, with a big head and a small head. The living inside can't stand it, the dead inside can't run, and the patients inside can't keep well ... "
Wait, who told you I run a coffin shop? I run a grocery store!
A grocery store?
b!
That thing ... how nice of you to open a coffin shop!
B good. What?
Coffin, coffin, you must make a fortune in this business.
Oh! Get rich?
A that's right.
B can't open it!
A look ... I know the word coffin by heart.
B Oh, is this word familiar?
A: Yes.
B can't open it!
Look!
B, come on, come on, have nothing to say? I'll exchange it for another one.
A there is no need to change it. What did you say? What business do you run?
B grocery store.
The grocery store is nothing! What do you sell?
B everything, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, vegetables and miscellaneous grains.
A selling vegetables?
B.
A Do you sell onions or not?
B sell.
A, come on!
B have words?
A "grocery store, you sell green onions, one is white, one is green, one is grown on the ground, one is born in the soil, one is solid, one is empty, one is eaten, the first one is thrown, and the shopkeeper sells a green onion!"
My grocery store is closed! Just one onion? Sell everything!
A "Not bad, not bad, the grocery store also sells coffins!"
B not for sale! I'm telling you, if you sell everything, you won't sell coffins.
A selling everything?
B.
A "Ding, Dangdang, pistols are sold in the grocery store!"
B no!
You said, everything
I sell everything except pistols.
What exactly do you sell?
B Oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, vegetables and miscellaneous grains.
Listen to the words: "hit the bamboo board, take a big step, and the shopkeeper opens a grocery store." . Grocery store, the goods are really complete, brown sugar is good, sugar is sweet, you need to buy sand sugar to save money. Open your mouth to buy a package of peppers, buy a package of peppers going round and round, shrimp, bending around, yellow flowers, fungus on the scale, chopsticks what crime? Tie it up with three hemp ropes, kick it twice, three inches three inches, light it on New Year's Eve, and bang-bang! Go to heaven! "
B and miscellaneous grains!
A "grinding, plate, Luo, cabinet grinding, grinding 10,000 tons of grain every day, buckwheat noodles, white flour, rice flour, grinding rice like frost, japonica rice is good, old rice is long, you should eat golden millet, black beans, yellow soybeans, and pink sorghum. The shopkeeper's heart is like a big tiger, mixing loess into the stick! "
B no! I'm telling you, I won't open a grocery store. I changed my business.
A "hit the bamboo board, take a big step, and the shopkeeper will open a coffin shop!" "
B I haven't opened it yet.
A It's time for you to open a coffin shop this time!
B can't open it! I'm here to sell popsicles this time.
A selling popsicles?
B that's right! Is there a word?
That's nothing! Sell popsicles! (Board) "Beat the bamboo board ... Beat the bamboo board ..."
B nothing to say!
A: "Playing bamboo boards is really interesting. You sell popsicles in the big shopkeeper. "
B: Yes!
A: "Your popsicle is really sanitary. It is completely frozen with boiling water and sugar. Eat popsicles ... eat popsicles ... "
B nothing to say.
A "You still have to eat popsicles!"
B I ate three popsicles in such a short time!
A "Eat popsicles, pick them up and see, adzuki beans, oranges, bananas, good things, high materials, not afraid of sun, not afraid of baking, can't be melted in the fire!"
Is this a popsicle?
A fire hook!
Can I eat the hook of fire B? Come on, we switched businesses this time!
A "bamboo board, big step, manned ..."
Coffin shop again. Wow! This time I opened a bathhouse!
A opened another bathhouse?
b!
A "bamboo board", I hurried away, a manned bath hall. Your bathhouse is really sanitary. It's completely frozen with boiling water and sugar! "
b? All right! I'm frozen into a popsicle after taking a shower!
A "Your bathhouse is really sanitary, and the towels are white and clean. Take a bath and come in, the pancreas smells sweet, the towel is white, and there is a big towel around the waist, but the head is not wrapped! "
B I have never heard of Baotou!
Answer "There is warm water and hot water. The hotter the better. " . There is an 88-year-old man. As soon as he entered the pond, he burst out laughing, dizzy and his eyes blurred, and fell to a big party! Dude saw it and took it out. "
What's the matter?
Dizzy pond!
B and get out of the tower! I'm telling you, I won't buy or sell this time. I want to marry my wife! See if you have anything to say.
What are you doing?
B marry a wife, is there a word?
Obedient: "Playing bamboo board is interesting. The boss wants to marry (Finn) ... "
B's ridiculous!
It's a bit of a' beating a bamboo board'. A big shopkeeper marries a daughter-in-law (xi) and a wife (Fa) ... "
B I also married a magician!
"I came at the right time. I came when the shopkeeper got married. My relatives and friends congratulated me and the store laughed in front of the hall. " There is a causeway in front and eight sedan chairs behind. Eight sedan chairs were carried through the door, and the bridesmaids came to help the couple. Spread a red carpet, pour a happy carpet and pour it on the happy table. There is a pair of wax-loving incense burners in the middle; Worship the earth, heaven, heaven and earth, ancestors, ancestors, temples, and couples' bridal chambers. You are happy when you enter the bridal chamber. The groom lifted the hijab and shoveled it off. Look carefully. The bride is bald! "
B baldy?
A "bald head, big eyes, open mouth and loud voice."
B man?
A "fat man weighs 300 Jin, so the shopkeeper married Lu!" "
b! I am a bully!
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