Funny from black conversation

1. If one day men all over the world have their period, I will sell hygiene classics.

2. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find out!

When I can't sleep, my roommate asked me to count from one to one thousand. I almost fell asleep when I counted to 200. Just drink? .

4. Now I know that Baidu doesn't know everything. I asked it where my fiancee was, but it was difficult …

I was bitten by mosquitoes all night last night, and I found that I lost weight the next day.

6. A tinkling cat always lives in the dark because it can't see its fingers.

Maybe it wasn't a meteor that fell from the sky, but a crashed plane.

I didn't know that dinosaurs could really reappear until I met you.

9. I know you don't treat me like a number. Actually, I didn't take you seriously either.

Everyone wants to catch the tail of youth, but youth is a gecko.

1 1.

12. What are the two words you hear the most in the new water margin-eating wine.

13, shout after me: money is coming, money is coming, and as a result, money really falls from the sky. Alas, it turned out to be a dream.

14. Don't complain that there is no beef in the beef noodles. Is there no wife in the old lady's cake?

15, put away your white eyes. I want to ask, "Is there red eye? Will it infect me?"

16, the kindness of dripping water is rewarded by the spring. When I lend you a dime, please pay back 100.

17, don't be cool with me. You think you are Youku.

18, I gave you my phone number. Why don't you understand my mind? Should I be charged for something? .

19, the teacher said to his mother, "This child giggles at his crotch every day in class."

20, too hot, nothing is positive, acne is the most positive.

One day, the emperor said to the little eunuch, "You can describe me in one word. The little eunuch said: hey!

22. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you should eat at least a pair of whales.

I generally don't like to see a doctor, because doctors have nothing to see.

24, my left eye jumps for money, my right eye jumps for disaster, and both eyes jump. Does this mean that I will fall into a bank full of money …

I want to be your heart in my next life. If I don't jump, you will die.

26. I went swimming in the lake in the afternoon and suddenly it rained heavily. I quickly dived into the water to avoid the rain.

I would rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince pig riding a white horse.

28, I want to be as strong as a cactus, but also learn to poke the bad guys.

29. If you ignore me, I will sing "Uneasy" at your house.

30, the first thing to get up in the morning, open your eyes, the first thing to go to bed at night, close your eyes.

3 1, you are crazy, I am a fool, you are crazy together.

Although I am delicate, I am actually illiterate.

33. Sometimes I feel that life is really fun, but sometimes I feel that life is playing with me.

34. When I go to bed at noon, I set the automatic reply to "Then what?" As a result, my classmate chatted with it all noon.

35. I didn't dare to sleep after watching ghost movies last night, but I couldn't sleep after being bitten all over tonight.

I am still sleeping on such a sunny day. I repented, in order to express my deep regret …

37. Don't tell me that you are virtuous. You are just too lazy to do anything.

38. I won't compete with an idiot, so others won't know which one is an idiot.

39. Don't try to be brave after dark without health insurance and life insurance.

40. I like daytime because I can daydream during the day.

4 1, woman who is not good to me, curse you for being sucked dry by Hu.

42. Commitment is like a woman saying she wants to lose weight. It's easier said than done.

43. Today, I saw a buddy hit C with a sniper, squatting on a Yin person, and even squatting out of the screen saver!

44. After visiting the supermarket today, the cashier said: No change. Here are two plastic bags for you.

45. At the beginning of life, you are kind in nature, and you are a hero if you don't do your homework. What should the teacher do when checking? Raise the broom and work with him.

46. I failed in primary school. Since you can play QQ. D, more talkative than college students.

47. Whether you go to school or not, the school is there and starts on time.

48, in fact, people's life is doomed, can live to death.

49. The highest state of being a man is not that you pick up girls, but that you let girls pick up girls.

50. At the beginning of life, human nature is good, and it is a hero to say that you don't find a wife. Mom and dad are in a hurry. What should we do with our bags?

Tell me something interesting.

1, the so-called chess player is the picture of mistress and the real challenge, which is very harmonious.

No one is embarrassed to go out without a fat daughter-in-law these days.

A foreigner came to teach English and broke the platform.

Only the beautiful ones are young, and only the ugly ones get acne. ...

5. Sorry, buddy, you are blocking my cell phone signal.

6. Learn not to be angry first, and then learn to make people angry.

7. The most romantic thing I can think of is that you spit bubbles on me after drinking 1 liter shower gel.

8. Don't think about this sacred world with your villain's mentality.

9. Why is Friday so close to Monday and Monday so far from Friday? This is not scientific!

10, we are brothers. I will help you up when you fall, but wait for me to finish laughing.

1 1. It's not necessarily the cleaner who is holding the broom, but it may be Harry Potter.

12, after 90, you have a heart born after 80 and a face born after 70.

13, there is a kind of silence, call the old class. ...

14, I'm a nail, I'm afraid of hammers!

15, QQ every day, have you ever thought about the feeling of QQ?

16, the original "husband" is RMB in turn, and "husband" is "paying the bill" in turn! ?

17. Every time the chemistry teacher does an experiment on the podium, the students at the bottom will silently say the word "fried".

18, the tree dies without skin, and people are invincible without face. What are you afraid of losing face?

19, have fun, have fun, clap your hands.

20. Who gave you such great courage? Don't tell me it's Fish Leong.

2 1, what are your joy beans eyes staring at? I'm not yours anymore.

22, killed the wolf and spared the tiger. It used to be a 250.

23. If I love you, I will tolerate you. If I don't love you, I will ignore you!

24. Ocean-like murder comes from ant-like jealousy.

25, shouting grass mud horse, all kinds of good moods.

26, thick thighs, black stockings, this summer is terrible.

27. Military training is available, but the instructors are not handsome.

28. What city people are pretending? Now the earth is called a village.

29. I won't say anything until I'm killed. You haven't done a honey trap yet!

Don't mess with me, or I will let you die rhythmically.

3 1,-It is morbidly lively when you are happy, and scary and quiet when you are quiet.

32, the sense of security is a bumpy man, money is a bank, handsome is a chess game!

33, see beautiful men do not bubble, go against the sky. Go to bed when you see a beautiful man and do justice for heaven.

34. Tell you a joke. The name is I still believe in love.

35. If you love me deeply, ask my lover to listen.

36. How can I not believe you when you make love words so sensational?

37. As soon as you pose, you can't help but compare with scissorhands.

Fat, why are you always so attached to me?

39. Gold always shines, mirrors always reflect light, and scum had better die.

40. Algae I like good times.

4 1, during the military training, send Jam Hsiao incense sticks and invite him to give a concert in Jiaozhou!

I don't have a man, so I will be fat until winter. ...

43. When you see the person you like, you will enter the pretend mode.

44. Last year, even monks traded in stocks. This year, stock speculators became monks.

45. I broke up with the summer vacation because of that bitch who started school!

46, you 3, I 9, except you or you.

47. "What's your seat?" "Made of meat"

48. I'm curious, why doesn't an ant bleed when you crush it?

49. After my death, I will engrave the QQ number on my tombstone, with a postscript: Anyone is allowed to be my friend.

50. Girl, what dishes do you cook well at home? I boil water very well.

Funny and self-deprecating personality signature

1, tell you a joke, I am a joke!

2. Why isn't my gray head beating?

The back waves of the Yangtze River push the front waves, and the front waves die on the beach.

4. A woman's lack of talent is virtue. I must be too wicked.

5, put down your body, I am the master of my road.

6. My mud is well paved and I don't need your help.

7. Not only talent, but also waist fat.

8. Take courage to lower your head and raise your head confidently.

9. Making money is like digging the ground with a needle, and spending money is like water seeping into the soil.

10, many people despise me. Who are you?

1 1, I not only have a car, but also my own.

12, the hero has no good wife, and the lazy man marries the cuttlefish.

13, everything is difficult at the beginning, difficult in the middle and difficult at the end.

14, Chopin of Niu B, can't play Lao Tzu's sadness!

15, I don't want to work 30 days a month.

16, what's left of me except my back?

17, some people are born good, and some people are born to struggle!

18, live well and have a new blow every day.

19, please raise your hand if you love me, please stand on your head if you don't love me.

20. Regret never seeing me, regret never seeing me.

2 1, I really want to make a clean break, but I am afraid of pain.

22. You really don't matter anymore. I'm bulletproof.

23. Don't you know that you always dream about what I am doing, and I am busy?

24. I don't know whether I went to college or the college fucked me.

25. I am not a casual person. I'm not just anyone.

26. I am proud of being single. I am a condom of my motherland.

27. I want to be different from others every day, and the result is the same every day.

28. It's good to be single, and it's good to be single with whoever you want.

29. Don't ask me where I come from. My hometown is the morgue.

30, everyone is drunk and I wake up alone, the whole world is turbid and I wake up alone!

3 1, I am the most normal among abnormal people and the most abnormal among normal people.

32. Not only am I lucky, but my beriberi is also good!

The quieter the tree is, the more I love it. It's not there.

34, sleep until the hand cramps, count the money and wake up naturally.

35. In front of that winner, I will always be a loser.

36. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

37. With you all the way, I am willing to suffer a little, even if I suffer a lot.

38. Efforts may not be successful, but no efforts will be easy.

There are so many life guides in the world, but I am in The Journey to the West.

40. Actually, I haven't changed, just because your selfishness has forgotten me.

4 1, I am not single, I have a girl with a hard disk.

42. What should I do if I am wrong? Yeah, so what? That's it for me!

43. We haven't eaten for several days, and everyone looks like pancakes.

44. After being used by you, do I have to say it's an honor?

45. Sometimes being fat is also a kind of beauty. At least I am fat but not greasy.

46. If you are drunk, you won't obey anyone, just hold the wall.

47. My heart is not a bus. I can't sit down if there is a vacancy.

48. I am a professor who doesn't sit on the stage. I always leave after class.

49. I am ugly, but I think it is beautiful.

50, fat paper remember: enjoy a moment, fat for a lifetime.

5 1, the husband is like a dog on the side of the road, whoever has the ability will take it away.

The more people I know, the more I like animals.

53. Shushan is diligent, only blaming you for not having a rich life.

54. How long will you like me, stay with me for a long time or leave after playing enough.

55. Don't tell my sister to grow old together. My sister will always have black hair.

From now on, I am no longer greedy, but I just love to eat.

Everyone says I'm ugly, but I'm just beautiful.

58. After studying for more than ten years, I still want to go to kindergarten!

59. What's wrong with ugliness? We are white.

60, who is whose husband, are all temporary workers!

6 1. Thanks to those who beat me. Lying down is really comfortable.

Since I became shit, no one dared to step on my head again.

63. I finally quit smoking. Let's have a cigarette to celebrate.

64. Your mother chased me for ten blocks and insisted that I looked like your father.

65. People who are better than you are still working hard, so what's the use of your efforts?

66. There is no need to pretend to be a good person, just be yourself.

67. Are you bored? If you are bored, fart and play by yourself!

Self-blackening one's own funny sentences

1, the sun is so big, is it bad for me? I'm so black. Why, do you want me to be an equal with the African people?

How can you say that he is crazy? The premise is? Have brains, too!

My parents gave me this face, which successfully prevented me from puppy love.

I don't care whether my friend is black or not, but he is not as black as me!

You don't need a visa to go to Africa! Interesting quotation

6, too long without kissing, even eating a duck tongue will feel gentle. If you don't hold hands for too long, you will feel shivering with a pickled chicken feet.

7. For me, a haircut is tantamount to disfigurement!

8. Go your own way and let others talk! Eat your own food and make others vomit!

9. When soy sauce dripped on me, I couldn't find where it dripped.

10, what's wrong with being fat? No money. Why? It is non-mainstream. Why? So I will look up and show you that I am not only short and poor, but also ugly. . .

1 1, I have long hair and waist, just the waist of a bucket.

12, God, please let me grow five centimeters taller. I'm willing to change ten pounds of thinner.

13, this mid-term exam should have been a blockbuster, but when the test paper was handed out, I decided to hide my strength.

14, I am a good girl and boy you don't care about. Do you like men?

15, once I passed the fire scene and was taken away by an ambulance for no reason.

16, those who are not afraid of debt collection are heroes, but those who are afraid of paying back money are really poor!

17, holding the mouse, you lose the will to do your homework. .

18, wearing a skirt to go out, others think I am wearing black silk.

19, the younger siblings are shorter, more frustrated and more awkward.

20. Praise a female classmate in person: You are really a lotus flower! !

2 1, I am a fighter in the wretched pervert. Can you do it?

22. You say you are shameless enough for the whole earth? Hehe, then I can't underestimate the whole galaxy.

23. Don't treat me like a dish! ! !

24. Once I went to see the Zen master and asked him: What should I do if I am too dark? The Zen master opened the temple gate, and I said, Zen master, do you want me to open my heart? The Zen master replied, I just want to see where you are.

25, don't cheat in the exam, fart your mother. Don't panic when you cheat, but play dumb when you get caught.

26, crossing the zebra crossing, I appear, I disappear, I appear, I disappear,

27. People, with a dream of red mansions, live in the water margin world. They want to make friends with the Taoyuan brothers in the Three Kingdoms, but they always meet some monsters in Journey to the West.

28. As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

29. One night, I asked the mirror, mirror, mirror, who is the darkest person in the world. The mirror says, who's talking! ?

30, squatting in the coal pile can only be poked with a stick, soft is me, hard is coal.

3 1, the most tragic thing in the world is that when you buy delicious food, you meet a deskmate who eats food.

32. I have a heart for knowledge, but I have a failed life.

33. That on my brother's face is definitely not acne, it's called youth.

34. Is my face oily? Reflect light, can't see clearly

35. I want to buy things when I am angry. When I buy things, I have to spend money. When I spend money, my money becomes less. I get angry when I have little money.

36. The more you want it, the more you pretend it doesn't matter; The more afraid of losing, the more pretending not to care.

37. Every time I bring a test paper home, the first thing to do is to wear cotton trousers to meet the storm.

38. I failed in the middle school entrance examination twice, and I took the college entrance examination for three years. After graduation, I participated in more than 30 interviews and was rejected for more than 30 times. I went to KFC to apply, and 24 people accepted 23, but I was the only one who was rejected. Take the police exam, five people recruit four, and only I am rejected. Later, I submitted 10 applications for admission to Harvard University, and they were rejected every time without exception.

39. Exams are like Fu Nan's batteries. One section is longer than six.

40, two masters, two masters, college entrance examination, college entrance examination! One didn't write his name and the other didn't fill in the answer sheet. What an honor! What an honor!

4 1: You can only find me at night with a grin!

42. One day, my friend was walking on the road, and suddenly passers-by shouted to my friend in horror: You, your shadow is still alive!

I really don't know what you like about her. Although I have no money, no face and no figure, I won't love you!

44. The famous flower I love is taken. It's terrible to love me.

45. How beautiful she is, opening the pearly casement and a thousand roads without footprints. Apes on both sides of the Taiwan Strait kept crying and began to croak. (Teacher's comment: Is this still a beauty? )

46. Human nature is greedy, but without greed, society will not progress.

47. How much do you love me? Almost a dime. Is that all? Isn't a dime ten dollars? .

48. It is said that handing in a blank piece of paper can get three points, which is called clean paper.

49. The beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of people lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying. Zhou Libo

50. A joke from myself: people wait for the bus at night.

5 1, I really want to put my size shoes on your size face at once.

52. One is more dangerous to wear and the other is safer to grow.

53. The Chinese teacher summed up the reasons why an almond went out of the wall: the wall was too short, the tree was too high, and the wind was too strong.

I hope that one day we can become strangers again, and then we can get to know you again. See how I kill you!

55, don't be depressed, life is like an electrocardiogram, and smooth sailing proves that you are hanging your eyes.

56. In a more shameless era, it is called excellent psychological quality.

57. Driving at night was photographed unmanned.

If you want to go, I won't stop you. If you want to die, I will help you!

59. Hey, have fun, think about it, and make small noises.

60. At present, many women are in such a state: they obviously want to love, but they dare not.

6 1. Without toads, swans would be lonely.

62. I don't know Wu Bai very well, but his brother 250 knows me very well.

63. Grinning at night,,,,, yeah! Whose false tooth is this? ,,,,,,

64. My deskmate is a schoolmaster. Even if I am scolded by my teacher one day, he can take me to Demassia!

65. Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves and be bullied.

66. A funny sentence from myself: My character has not been unlocked.

67. God has three apples: one seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, and one was bitten by Jobs!

68. People say that a tree needs a skin and a face, but why do I feel that I can take it or not?

69. My friends who play hide-and-seek at night can't find me. In the end, I won.

70. Turn off the lights with friends. My friend once thought his computer was black.

7 1, when I was a child, I had no money at home, and I was flying kites all the time, with a plastic bag tied behind me.

72, just don't let fierce Zhang Fei, also don't lose black Li Kui jy, dug coal in Xishan, worked as a thief in Dongshan.

Recently, people always ask me whether it's China fever or Africa fever.

74. I admire myself very much. Sometimes I kowtow to myself when I look in the mirror.

75. Every time I pass the blackboard, my classmates think that the clothes have gone by.

76. Men are affectionate and women are interested. I will leave as soon as the lights are turned off.

77. Quarrel on QQ is not the accumulation of swearing, but the speed of typing.

78. When doing chemical experiments in class, our teacher said: Did the students in the front row buy insurance?

79. Because of your expression, I got an appetite in anger and moved from the canteen to the toilet.

80. I don't envy the little grape pro EXO. I am not blind. How can I not envy! Ah, sincere envy and jealousy!

8 1, I like snacks best, but if someone trades snacks for EXO, I will not hesitate to say, no, that's my life.

82. Others are made of amniotic fluid, and I may be made of ink.

You said you would wait for me to come back. You did it. You found someone to wait with.

84. It's only now that I discovered that streaking was bold when I was a child.

If you ignore me, then I won't become a dog.

86. You haven't fully evolved. It's really difficult for you to be an elephant man.

If anyone burns my sister's paradise, I'll stew her wings.

88. No matter how you take a picture of me, it's a silhouette.

89. I like going out at night, a feeling of wandering.

90. I got drunk last night and did something I will never forget. Drunk, stamp out a cigarette end, and then find that you have no shoes to wear.

9 1, introduced a girlfriend to a buddy who just retired from the army. The next day, my buddy let the girl run away. This guy just dumped her for a few kilometers to show his quality as a soldier.