What joke do you tell your girlfriend?

1. The husband heard that his wife was having an affair and planned revenge. One night he took his wife to bed and put concentrated rodenticide on her nipples.

The next night, my wife came home late, and my husband asked why. My wife said bitterly, "Our leader is poisoned to death!" The husband asked, "Do you know who did it?" The wife said, "The murderer is very cunning." Even the police can't find out how the poison was passed, but there are clues. We are investigating Sanlu and Shengyuan milk powder. "

The husband asked, "Why?" "The wife said," the leader said when he died, "Oh, my God! Is there any safe milk in the world?

2. The leader spoke at the family planning publicity conference: Children are the flowers of the motherland and the growing saplings, but you have been exceeding your life span. What will happen in the future? A person in the audience replied: Greening the motherland.

3. Someone cursed in the office: The director asked for it! Director just came in: I'm asking. What are you? This person is witty: we are close to you.

4. In the restaurant, woman: Are you going to marry me or not? The man was silent. W: Don't think that nobody wants me. If I get angry, I'll find someone to marry here right away! The waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop.

When a hungry wolf was looking for food, I heard a woman training her child: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf!

The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside until dawn and sighed, liar, women are liars!

6. A prisoner was shot.

Because the bullet was inferior, the first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired ... the third shot ... At this time, the prisoner cried: Brother, strangle me, it's really fucking scary!

7. After watching the black 100 meter run, an old lady wiped her tears and said, I was scared to death! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot, but they fired without aiming. The children ran in fear, and the rope couldn't stop them!

8. Mr Huang loves revolution. In memory of Hong Jun, he named his son Jun.. One day, he sent his son to class, and when he saw that the No.8 bus had stopped, he shouted to his son: Huang Jun, run, the No.8 bus is coming! ~~~

9. A bear went to the mountains to start a business. The farmer gave him a sickle and the carpenter gave him a hammer. When the bear came to the mountains, he met a tiger. He was so scared that he held a sickle and a hammer over his head. The tiger said, I didn't see it. You're still a producer!

10. Farmers are carrying excrement. The foreigner looked at it and asked, Grandpa, how much is this sauce? Without saying a word, the farmer put a little in his mouth with his hand and thought, I won't tell you how much it is a catty unless you tell me.