English jokes

1 Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home.

Teacher: Whoever can return to my next question can go home.

A boy threw his bag out of the window.

A little boy threw his schoolbag out of the window.

Teacher: Who threw it? !

Teacher: Who threw the schoolbag out just now?

Boy: Me! I'm going home.

Boy: Me! I'm going home.

What dog can jump higher than a building?

What dog jumps higher than a building?

No dog or building can jump!

No dog, no building can jump.

What has a head, a tail and no body?

What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin!

Coins.

What has only one eye but can't see?

What has one eye but can't see?

A needle.

Needle.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Wife: How would you describe me?

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Husband: ABCDEFGHIJK

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Wife: What does that mean?

Husband: "Cute, beautiful, cute, likable, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous and hot."

Husband: charming, charming, cute, cheerful, elegant, fashionable, beautiful and hot.

Wife: "Oh, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Wife: Wow, thanks, but what does "IJK" mean?

Husband: "I'm kidding!" "

Husband: Just kidding!

Boy: Is this seat empty?

Boy: Is this seat empty?

Girl: Yes, if you sit down, this will be.

Girl: Yes, if you sit down, my seat will be empty, too.

My puppy can't read.

My dog can't read?

Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!

Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My puppy can't read. "

My wife will change.

Anyway, my wife will change tomorrow

A gentleman walked into a shop and asked for a pair of gloves.

A gentleman went into a shop to buy a pair of gloves.

"Cloth or leather?" Asked the salesman.

"Do you want cloth or leather?" Asked the salesman.

"It makes no difference," the customer replied.

"It makes no difference." The customer replied.

"What color?" The clerk asked.

"What color do you want?" The salesman asked again.

"Any" he replied.

"Any color will do." He replied.

"size"

"What's the number?"

"Give me whatever you like," the gentleman said impatiently. My wife will come back tomorrow to change it. ″

"Just bring me a pair casually." The customer was a little impatient. "Anyway, my wife will change it tomorrow."