Jokes about hot weather

First, the puppet made a girlfriend and was full of joy. A few days later, my girlfriend suddenly said, puppet, I don't want to ML with you anymore. It hurts to be poked by sawdust every time! The sad puppet went to the carpenter to find a way. The carpenter said to him, this is very simple. You just need to sand it with sandpaper. A few days later, the speaker asked: Have you made up with your girlfriend? The puppet replied, "Who needs a girlfriend with sandpaper?"

Second, it's too hot and there's little urine!

Third, in this weather, all the people who can go out with you are friends of life and death!

Fourth, the rhyme of Xia Feng brings you good luck, and the voice of summer rain wishes you good health, beautiful summer flowers and long-term happiness. The hot summer is here, I wish you a happy summer! Remember to forward it!

Fifth, don't forget to drink porridge in hot weather, and it won't be uncomfortable in dog days; Mung bean porridge quenches thirst and lotus seed porridge refreshes; Red beans and jujube promote blood circulation and invigorate qi, and banana porridge clears away heat and detoxifies; Porridge should not be too salty, and it is convenient to drink in summer.

Girl: I really regret that I didn't cover the sun when I mended the sky last time.

Seven, it was too hot to sleep last night, lz suggested getting up and engaging in activities, so the dormitory collectively fought against the landlord and the loser got dressed. . . Alas, they are all tears. . . . . Four down jackets. . .

Eight, the weather is very hot, just out of the sun, it is already a burning sky.

Nine, my cousin got married and invited Coca-Cola to have a drink ... After drinking, he cried with his wife ... and touched all the guests and friends ... Only I knew that I secretly put mustard in his coke, which made me famous.

Ten, it is said that Wuhan is a stove in summer, and it is only after you go that you really feel the taste of "Regan Noodles".

Xi. Miss in spring, love in summer, blessings in autumn and wishes in winter. Meet in this life and be happy every day; Love this life and love you forever; This life oath will not change. May our love last forever.

Twelve, tell you a few quick ways to relieve the summer heat: besides looking in the mirror, look at the balance of the bank card, pinch your stomach, and look at the stealth state of your sweetheart QQ. Is my heart cold now?

13. After intense light radiation, scorching sun, strong wind, lightning strike, mosquito bite and rain wash, this short message finally reached your mobile phone and said to you: Pay attention to heatstroke prevention in hot summer. The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

14. When I went to work in the morning, on the bus, I found several people around me looking at me strangely. I didn't pay attention to their eyes, poking my fingers and whispering something. My only idea at the moment is to play a stirring song "Above the Moon" with a cottage. Finally, an old lady pointed to my brother and said, "Little friend, are you wearing your clothes backwards?" I looked down, yes, I put on the T-shirt inside, and then I realized that their strange eyes were just to look at 2B. I want to be a seven-foot man, and I can't stand the eyes of these amateurs. So I made an earth-shattering decision now. I took off my clothes and turned them back to wear them in front of the public. Just after undressing, I found that everyone's eyes changed again. How can I describe it to you? For example, they just looked at 2B implicitly, but now this kind of look is absolutely naked and not implicit. Gee, I took a contemptuous look at this group of laity, and then looked down at my clothes. This bow, I finally understand why the eyes of this group of laity are so vivid. It turned out that the bra my daughter-in-law drew for me last night was still fresh in my mind ... so my head suddenly became empty, and there was only one voice left in my ear: horseshoe, horseshoe, Europe, Europe. ...

Fifteen, "Do I know you very well?" "Well, soon," they said, standing in the sun!

Tell the person you like. If the person you like rejects you, your heart will be cold! It won't be hot!

When I was eighteen, I suddenly remembered a deskmate in junior high school. It was amazing. This god often does not wash his hands for several days, and his hands are all black. Oh, my God. One day, the teacher asked me to check the overall hygiene, including personal hygiene. The next morning, the Great God still didn't wash as usual, and class was about to start. I was holding hands with him when I saw this great god borrow a tape from his former classmates, wrapped his hand tightly, and then pulled it away … His hand was white! White! White!

Don't ask me how old I am, just how mature I am!

Don't argue with a fool, or others won't know who is a fool.

It's too hot for me to think. I need to find a place to cool off.

Twenty-two, now I find that "stay where you are" is really not a curse, it is definitely the most sincere concern and the deepest love.

Twenty-three, the hot summer heat is unbearable, I will teach you a strange way to cool off the heat: at noon, the sun is in the sky, and you can exercise hard in the open space without shelter. Once you get heatstroke, you can cool off the heat. This is called fighting poison with poison, and attacking "summer heat" with "summer heat".

Twenty-four, my god, you have to let everyone know that this summer has been contracted by Flame Mountain!

Twenty-five, an old childlike innocence, the harvest is happiness; An endless belief, the harvest is success; A healthy body is at peace; Friends who always care about you will be happy. Friend, give you my deep blessing and reap sweet happiness! The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

26. How often do you take a bath in winter? -In winter, take a bath. . .

27. Yesterday afternoon, it was hot in Lanzhou, Gansu. After a few hours of shopping with his girlfriend, a young man suddenly fainted to the ground and was unconscious. My girlfriend was frightened, so she called 120 to send her boyfriend to the hospital for emergency treatment. The doctor said it was nothing serious, just heatstroke.

He Xiangu: I don't wear sunscreen. I only wear sunscreen leaves and lotus leaves (European leaves)!

Twenty-nine, send you a Saqima, and happiness will take you as a target; Give you a piece of soft bread and your troubles will disappear; Give you a glass of orange granules, knock on the door happily every day and give you a glass of wine. Good luck will be your watchdog!

Thirty, I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I didn't expect to hit the wall!

Thirty-one, protect yourself and love others, please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people ~

Bai: In the past, all the little dragons in the sea were dying from the sun. On the way to learn the scriptures, the hoof faces west and looks like a water dispenser everywhere.

Thirty-three, summer is coming, the weather is hot, there are more girls, glistening thighs! However, although girls nowadays dress more dangerously than one, they look safer than one. ...

34. I don't usually send messages. If I want to send it, I will only send it creatively! In the past, cliches were laughed at. Now, if you do your best, you have to make a high profile. If you say it, you are not afraid of being wonderful, simple but not simple: pay attention to heatstroke prevention in hot weather.

Thirty-five, suddenly a little sad: when I was a child, there seemed to be fewer and fewer trees and ponds to enjoy the cool. How did you spend such a hot summer? Would you like to go back to the days when there was no air conditioning, only fans, shade trees and mosquito nets?

Thirty-six, the table is too hot, mahjong has just been coded, and it is actually burnt.

The weather is like an oven. I really can't stand it. Almost done.

Friends from Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai, the central heating you desperately demanded eight months ago has finally come true!

39. Recently, I saw someone say that when a girl with conservation of energy gets cold, a man will get hot once, but a long and safe girl will only get cold, but a man will not get hot.

The weather is hot and interesting

I am your weather forecast. It's hot, I send you cool, it's cold, I send you warm. Just because you are my best friend, your concern is always by my side. I wish you peace and happiness!

Second, ask how cold the bed is, sell the head nurse and buy air conditioning! Who is not hot in life since ancient times, selling housekeepers to buy air conditioners! Ten years of hot death, selling housekeepers to buy air conditioners! Affectionate waste heat since ancient times, selling housekeepers to buy air conditioners! If the relationship is warm for a long time, sell the head nurse and buy the air conditioner! Don't you see, the coolness falls from the sky, selling housekeepers to buy air conditioners! I'm talking about teenagers having a fever, selling housekeepers and buying air conditioners!

Fujian was rated as the province with the lowest joke in China, only because the local people shouted unanimously in the face of the scorching sun: I am so happy (hot). ...

Fourth, what is the minimum standard for making friends with you? -It has to be human.

One day, a rabbit unfortunately fell into a box and turned into a duck when it came out. Do you know why? Because there is a transformer in the box. ...

Sixth, I bought eggs and turned them into chickens! I bought a mat and turned it into an electric blanket! The car didn't light itself! Meet strangers, smile at each other and become acquaintances! The table is too hot, and the mahjong is burnt as soon as it is finished! Pay attention to heatstroke prevention and cooling in hot weather!

Seven, summer is very hot, and the mood is really wonderful; You can see that your body is hot, and you can run around in shorts. When it is hot, insert an ice cream and the bathtub will bubble; Watermelon and melon are chewed indiscriminately, and sweat is used as glue. Let go of your troubles on the spot and be happy and happy.

8. I received a text message from my mobile phone as soon as I got to work, reminding me that it is hot today and I should pay attention to heatstroke prevention.

Nine, the hot sunset outside the window shines on the vast grassland, but there is no figure, which makes people feel that they have entered the original zone.

Ten, take the bus in summer, and hate people who wear short skirts and cross their legs to show her lace underwear. Whenever I see these people, I always stare at them with angry eyes, indicating that I am angry!

Eleven, this year is a leap year, running in April, plus April, happiness increases laughter, health increases physical health, good luck increases happy events, friendship increases happiness, salary increases financial resources, and love increases warmth. In the leap year, I wish you more laughter and happiness. The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

Twelve, the recent high temperature does not retreat, hot every day, pay attention to cherish yourself, don't be too tired to go to work, eat more fruits during the day, sleep at night, don't worry, nourish your heart and protect your lungs, you and I know each other as friends, the above reminder is free!

Thirteen, sitting in a dark room without electricity in this weather, touching the straw mat under me, I suddenly understood the mood of steamed buns.

Jade Emperor: Heaven has mastered the core technology and will soon install a giant central air conditioner in Lingxiao Hall.

Blue Cai He: I want to get some water for a bath, but I always get water and nothing.

Open the door, headmaster, you have the ability to open the door! Don't hide in there and make no noise. I know your room has air conditioning! Open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door

Seventeen, just kicked a child out of the car, and a group of people applauded. Why? Then Xiong Haizi sang, "It is enough to sow one by one, and many low suns will grow ... every corner of the world is extremely bright."

Buy a mat and sleep as an electric blanket!

Nineteen, I was pulled out before I could flirt.

Twenty, the heavenly queen: I think it is better to change the flat peach banquet into a water-splashing festival to let everyone cool off.

2 1. One day, I received an inexplicable message: "Let's break up and stop contacting." It is estimated that the lovelorn sent it by mistake. Out of kindness, I replied: "You sent it wrong, I don't know you." A little later, I received another message: "It's cruel of you to pretend that you don't know each other so soon. Well, I'm blind. "

Twenty-two, the current weather, tap water can directly soak instant noodles!

Twenty-three, from now on, in the next period of time, there will be a person with the largest number of deaths, and people will always announce his death. His name is "hot"!

Twenty-four, the stone tables and chairs in the park were burnt by the sun, and the paint on the pillars in the pavilion was burnt, giving off an unpleasant smell of paint.

25. Nezha: hot wheels treads on the steam wheel in cold weather and the wind wheel in hot weather.

Twenty-six, I spent 150 yuan to get a very abstract haircut today. After returning to the dormitory, I was strongly criticized by several roommates! At this time, a classmate who was silent for a long time concluded: "This hairstyle is very cost-effective! I only spent 150 yuan and cut my hair for 250 yuan. "

Twenty-seven, "The weather is so hot, you go and take the fan to your father and them." "How many?" "Ah! You dead girl! Don't take it, don't take it! Swear to death! ! ""……"

Twenty-eight, boyfriend and girlfriend showdown, female: give me a reason to break up. M: We are not suitable. W: What's the matter? M: The gender is inappropriate.

Twenty-nine, the sun shines on you, and the darkness is far away from you; Smile blooms on you, and troubles ignore you; Happy with you, not lonely with you; Happiness surrounds you, and fatigue won't bother you. I wish you a regular life and good health every day! The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

Thirty, a wild goose needs 1 month to fly from south in autumn and 2 months to fly from south to north in summer. Do you know why? ..... Because it's very hot in summer, it has to use one wing to fan the wind. I wish it cool in summer!

Thirty-one, in the hot summer, I asked Sister Caterpillar to bring you some intimate kisses, and I asked Aunt Mosquito to sing a lullaby for you every night. Don't be polite to me, there is a better gift for you!

Thirty-two, gently, the wind is blowing; Moisturize, friendship nourishes; Gorgeous, full of flowers; Strong, friendship is sublimation; Really, my thoughts are flying; Warm, friends are greeting: May you be happy and worry-free! The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

Thirty-three, I almost died in the sun. This big sun is really warm. Didn't your mother ask you to go home for dinner?

34. In the evening, my daughter anxiously called her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, something may have happened!" " "

Miss in spring, love in summer, blessings in autumn and wishes in winter. Meet in this life and be happy every day; Love this life and love you forever; This life oath will not change. May our love last forever.

Funny jokes about hot weather

1, it's very hot in summer, and the mood is really wonderful; You can see that your body is hot, and you can run around in shorts. When it is hot, insert an ice cream and the bathtub will bubble; Watermelon and melon are chewed indiscriminately, and sweat is used as glue. Let go of your troubles on the spot and be happy and happy.

2. I saw a dollar on the road today, but I thought for a long time and didn't pick it up, for fear of burning myself! ! !

3. Why do so many people talk about heat? . . Actually, it's okay . . I always feel that the heat will get hotter and hotter. . . If you really can't, give it to someone you like.

4. "Do I know you well?" "Well, soon!" They stood in the sun and said!

5, the idea of cooling off the heat: imagine yourself in the cold ice palm, suddenly frozen; Or imagine you are romantic on the Titanic, and suddenly an iceberg strikes and you fall into the cold water; How about watching another ghost movie? I wish you a fright!

6. Give you 50,000 yuan, health 1 10,000, happiness 1 10,000, peace 1 10,000, good luck 1 10,000, happiness 1 10,000, and red bricks 1 10,000. Hey, hey, build a beautiful castle yourself! The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

7. Recently, I saw someone say that when an energy-saving girl gets cold, a man will get hot once, but when a long safe girl gets cold, a man will only get cold and not hot.

A child was kicked out of the car just now, and a group of people applauded. Why? Then Xiong Haizi is singing one by one, which is enough, and it will grow a lot slower. Every corner of the low sun world is extremely bright.

9, an old childlike innocence, harvest is happiness; An endless belief, the harvest is success; A healthy body is at peace; Friends who always care about you will be happy. Friend, give you my deep blessing and reap sweet happiness! The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

10. Last night, Qiqi's wife suddenly said to me: Your Majesty, the male and female servants have one thing to ask! But it doesn't hurt to say it. Please put my servant in the cold, I can't stand it, it's too hot! I

1 1, barefoot daxian: I can't do it without shoes now. You can't burn your feet where you go. Funny jokes about hot weather

12, Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai have entered the central heating period, that is, the time difference is six months.

13, tell you a few quick ways to relieve summer heat: besides looking in the mirror, looking at the balance of bank cards, pinching your stomach, and looking at your sweetheart's QQ stealth state. Is my heart cold now?

14, my friend ran out to find a customer, and sent a QQ complaint to me when it was hot. Listening to my distress, I immediately got up and took two steps to give him a call: you are hot! I'm standing next to the air conditioner now. Listen, it's a cold wind of 20 degrees.

15, Dou E was ordered to ask questions in the street. Before the execution, it was cold and snowy in June and July. The onlookers were stunned, and then knelt at the feet of the executioner. People kowtowed and wept bitterly. Can you take her back and kill her tomorrow? That's so cool.

16, one hot season is summer, there is a warm word that is sweet, there is an ancient story that is amazing, and there is a girl who loves you deeply. Summer breeze blows gently, I love you forever!

17. On a hot summer day, I asked Sister Caterpillar to bring you some intimate kisses. I ask Aunt Mosquito to sing you a lullaby every night. Don't be polite to me. There are better gifts for you!

18, every wave of life has a happy light ring; Every step of life has wonderful moments; Every color of life has a gorgeous chapter; Every greeting from a friend has a profound friendship. Friends, I wish you good, always smile! The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

19, headmaster, open the door, you have the ability to open the door! Don't hide in there and make no noise. I know your room has air conditioning! Open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door

20. It's said that Wuhan is a stove in summer, and only after you go can you really appreciate the taste of Regan Noodles.

2 1. If this high temperature continues, to be honest, I am particularly optimistic about this year's military training. . Thinking of this, I suddenly felt a lot cooler. . .

22, Yue Lao: Now everyone who is looking for an object is interested in seeing the constellation. No matter whether it is cold or hot, they will always seek Aquarius to quench their thirst.

23. Jade Emperor: Heaven has mastered the core technology and will soon install a giant central air conditioner in Lingxiao Hall.

24. It takes 1 month for a wild goose to fly to the south in autumn and two months to fly from the south to the north in summer. Do you know why? Because it is hot in summer, it has to fan the wind with one wing. Wish summer cool!

It's so hot that I get a tan. It turns white at home every day! Great, we can finally have a hybrid.

26. When a person dies, his name is very hot. Interesting sentences

27. Take an inventory of the top ten summer resorts around Chongqing for you: 1, air-conditioned rooms. 2. Air-conditioned room. 3. Air-conditioned room. 4. Air-conditioned room. 5. Air-conditioned room. 6. Air-conditioned room. 7. Air-conditioned room. 8、

28. Now it is found that staying in a cool place is not swearing. This is definitely the most sincere concern and the deepest love.

29. There are many swindlers in the street now. Everyone should be careful when going out in the future. Today, a person in the street kept saying that it was hot and hot. I followed him for three blocks, but he didn't die.

30. Summer is the season for fruits. I send you a basket of fruits: peace, orange fragrance, happiness, persimmon, nuclear family and plum!

3 1, Empress Dowager: I think it's better to change the flat peach banquet into a water-splashing festival, so that everyone can cool off.

32. Founder of Flint School: Turpan; Current person in charge: Chongqing; Right and left protectors: Nanjing, Wuhan; Uncle Shi: Nanchang; Master elder brother: Changsha; Young: Hangzhou. Existing disciples: Zhengzhou, Shanghai, Fuzhou, Xi, Hefei, etc. Among them, disciple Zhengzhou is the most popular with the leader. Although he is located in the north, he is diligent in martial arts and has been able to pass 38℃. He is a candidate for the next leader.

33. Time warms friendship; Years, let friendship ferment; Memory, let beauty freeze; Missing makes my thoughts wander; Friends, keep your heart warm; Greetings make wishes come true. Friend, I only wish you peace every day and happiness forever! The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

When I put a coin into the wishing pool, a lovely elf asked me what I wanted to wish for. I said to him: Please help me take good care of this information reader, never be depressed, always be happy! It's hot, pay attention to your health!

35. I don't usually send messages. If I want to send it, I will only send it creatively! In the past, cliches were laughed at. Now, if you do your best, you have to make a high profile. If you say it, you are not afraid of being wonderful, simple but not simple: pay attention to heatstroke prevention in hot weather.

36. Pack happiness into your luggage, so that you can fully enjoy happiness at any time; Write the happiness lock into your mind, so that you can feel good in the integral; Fold your wishes in your hands and let you always grasp the brilliance of your destiny; My friend, I wish you a glorious and wonderful life! The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

37. I am your weather forecast. I send you cool when it's hot, and warm when it's cold. Just because you are my best friend, your concern is always by my side. I wish you peace and happiness!

38. Bai: In the past, all the little dragons in the sea were dying from the sun. On the way to learn the scriptures, the hoof faces west and looks like a water dispenser everywhere.

39. I almost died in the sun. This big sun is really warm. Didn't your mother ask you to go home for dinner?

40, leap year leap in April, send a string of blessings, I wish you double happiness, double happiness; Send more greetings, may your troubles and bad luck double; Send another short message, wishing you a better mood and a more exciting life. I hope you are a successful yes-man. The weather is changeable, pay attention to your health!

4 1, it is said that being together for ten days is harmful and not beneficial. The Heavenly Emperor sent those who were good at archery to descend to heaven to relieve the disaster. It took nine days to shoot, and it landed in Anhui, Chongqing, Jiangsu, Zhejiang, Hunan, Guangdong, Jiangxi, Fujian and Shanghai, resulting in today's situation!

42. It's too hot. Go and bring the fan to your father and them. How many/much? Hey! You dead girl! Don't take it, don't take it! Swear to death! !

43. Don't forget to drink porridge in hot weather, and it won't be uncomfortable in dog days; Mung bean porridge quenches thirst and lotus seed porridge refreshes; Red beans and jujube promote blood circulation and invigorate qi, and banana porridge clears away heat and detoxifies; Porridge should not be too salty, and it is convenient to drink in summer.

44. Taishang Laojun: I can't stand this innocence. I have to change the blast furnace into an ice cream machine.

45. Nu Wa: I really regret that I didn't cover the sun when I mended the sky last time.

46. In the hot summer, I hope that if my short message slowly relieves you of the heat, you must remember not to be too busy at work, don't eat too much, don't sleep too late every night, and pay more attention to your health and happiness!

Jokes about Hot Weather _ Classic Sentences

I bought a basket of eggs and turned them into chickens when I came back.

I bought a mat and came back as an electric blanket.

I played a table of mahjong, but it was burnt before it was hot;

Lu Yu, a stranger, smiled at each other and became familiar.

It's very hot these days, and several netizens are chatting in QQ group.

A said, it's so hot here that cicadas are killing me.

B said: It's hot here, too. Walking is like scalding teppanyaki.

C said: It's so hot here that even the sunflowers dare not look up.

It's hot, send you popsicles, love is cool; It's cold, give you a stove, love in the warmth; If you are sick, give you pills, love is taking care of you; Lonely, I miss you, I love you in my mind. Love you for a long time.

Don't forget to drink porridge in hot weather, and it won't be uncomfortable in dog days; Mung bean porridge quenches thirst and lotus seed porridge refreshes; Red beans and jujube promote blood circulation and invigorate qi, and banana porridge clears away heat and detoxifies; Porridge should not be too salty, and it is convenient to drink in summer.

Wuhan used to be one of the three furnaces, but now it is not, because Wuhan has been upgraded to a boiler.

It is too hot to buy raw eggs; I bought a summer mat yesterday and changed it into an electric blanket as soon as I slept. The car caught fire without ignition; I met a stranger on the road just now, smiled at each other and became familiar with it; The table was so hot that it burned after I served it.

In recent days, the high temperature has not retreated, and you suffer from the heat every day. Pay attention to cherish yourself, don't be too tired at work, eat more fruits during the day, sleep at night, don't worry about fire when something happens, and it is precious to nourish your heart and protect your lungs. You and I know each other like friends. The above reminders are free!