200-word joke

1, sign up as a city manager! Examiner: What education? Candidate: I didn't graduate from primary school. Examiner: Have you ever been in a fight? Candidate: This is the usual practice. Examiner: Do you have a criminal record? Candidate: Just came out. Examiner: What about physical fitness? Candidate: Not bad. You can kick over the peddler's tricycle with one foot. Examiner: Dare to take other people's things? Examinee: This is my strong point, just like taking my own things. Examiner: Does the old man dare to fight? Candidate: Cai Xiao, my father crippled me. Examiner: You passed the exam. What our urban management needs is talents like you! Examiner: One more question. What if something happens? Examiner: I went to work tonight. One day on the bus, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd. The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?" Confused, the man replied, "Do you have any medicine?" The people in the car snickered! The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?" The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?" The whole car is hilarious! The bus driver stopped to lie on the steering wheel and laugh! Second: The bus is full of people, and there is a woman standing at the door. A GG pushed from the back of the car to get off and said to the woman, "Sorry, get off." The woman didn't move. GG stepped on her when she pushed over. As a result, the woman was too powerful and kept scolding: "You are crazy! You're crazy! ~ ~ ",loud enough for the whole car to watch. GG hasn't spoken. When he got off the bus, he couldn't bear it. He turned to the woman and said, "Repeater!" There are a few funny children behind, playing the scene just now. A said, "You are crazy! .................. B said, "You repeat the machine, Later, a little MM got off the bus in ............................................................................................................................................., and squeezed over and said timidly, "I ~ I ~ I want to go down, I'm not crazy ~!" "The whole car smiled again ~! The woman didn't speak, and a word came from the side: "Are you out of power?" The whole car is laughing ~! 3. Confucius said; Hit with bricks, don't play around! Press the head! Whether you die or not! Buddha said; Bullshit! I am kind! Stop playing! A brick is dead! ! ! On Monday, I got on the bus with nothing but 1 yuan. Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, I feel very calm all the way. But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: "An adult goes out without anything, and it's no shame to lose it." On Tuesday, I took a broken wallet with 1 cent in it. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "We are not beggars, please don't insult our profession. On Wednesday, I still broke my wallet, which contained counterfeit money of 100. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "It is illegal to hide large face value * *, please consciously turn it over to the relevant departments. -"On Thursday, I took an envelope containing a stack of overdue People's Daily of the Straits. When I arrived at the terminal, I found the envelope was still there. I took out the newspaper and read it. The newspaper was replaced by the latest straits talent newspaper. 1 Remarks: "Now is the consulting era. Only by updating information in time can we seize the opportunity and win success! -"Friday, I put a toy mobile phone in my pocket. After arriving at the terminal, the mobile phone was still there, and there was an extra note: "Please don't make such jokes, which will affect the normal work of our company. -"On Saturday, I took a toy pistol and stuck it in my waist. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the gun was gone and a note was stuffed in my pants: "I hate you robbers most, you have no technical content at all!" " Confiscate the tools of crime! -"on Sunday, I was about to get on the bus, and there were too many people to squeeze in. When waiting for the next bus, I felt in my pocket and found that I had 20 yuan more. There is also a note: "eldest brother, it is not easy to be in our line all day." This is 20 yuan. Please take a taxi to where you want to go. Please don't mess with us "5. A brother went to the toilet and went into the ladies' room by mistake. After going in, he found that there was no urinal, which was wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the ladies' room. He walked out casually. When I opened the door, I met a mm who came in and met him face to face. He blushed and hung his head. He turned and went to the men's room for six days. One day, there were too many people on the bus, which was very hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted This is a worse environment. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket!" 7. A sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a girl held a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. Publicly soliciting names from off-campus students, many people's slogans coincide-reading is a bird's best! 8. A brother is constipated and can't be comfortable in the toilet for a long time. Just as he was going all out, he watched a buddy rush into the toilet like the wind and enter the next position. No sooner had I entered than there was a real storm. A brother envies his buddy and says to him, I envy you. The buddy said: I really envy you, your pants are still on ~ ~ 9. I lost my bike at school very badly, and my new car didn't blink, but sometimes I was lucky. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " The next day, Xiao Jing came back from self-study at night and looked depressed. He still holds a piece of paper in his hand, which reads: Don't be the owner here, I borrowed the car, and I'll pay you back in a few days! A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. He bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride! 10 The beggar bought breakfast with counterfeit money, and the stall owner was annoyed: "Don't think about giving counterfeit money, at least it is printed, and your bill is actually painted! To say the least, forget to draw. You can draw a set of ten or five, or you can draw a set of seven! Let's make it seven dollars for seven dollars. At the very least, we have to paint it in color. Actually, we use pencils. Forget it. Black and white is good, but you can't draw with toilet paper! The feel is too bad. Even toilet paper, cut the edge with scissors. This one was torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated. Ok, I'll put up with burrs, but you can also tear a rectangle. This triangle is too unreasonable. After another 10,000 steps, even if the triangle shape is irregular, you can replace this used one with a new one, which is too unsanitary! 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