Do you have any good jokes to kill time?

1, one thing shows that you are really old!

I bought a dress online a few days ago, but today I got it and found it was a middle-aged and elderly dress.

The most terrible thing is that it fits you well when you try it on, and it doesn't look old at all! ! !

2. quarrel with your wife. During the cold war, I accidentally saw the zipper of my pants fall off when I was joking.

So I took a pair of scissors, unzipped my pants and prepared to cut the thread.

When my wife saw it, she immediately ran over, hugged my thigh and cried, "Husband, I was wrong."

3. Friend: What are you doing?

Me: What about the game?

Friend: Look at your promise. No wonder you have been poor for so long. Can you do something promising?

Me: What are you talking about?

Friend: One of the three is missing. . .

4. Answer: "Last year, the boss said that the economy was in recession, and the company increased revenue and cut expenditure, used less electricity, used less paper, ate less, and paid less bonuses."

B: "Is it effective?"

Answer: "Yes, the boss's BMW is closed this year. He bought a big one."

A female leader of the company asked a colleague: My family hired a nanny to take the children to and from school. What car should I give her?

Colleague replied: that depends on how far your family and nanny have gone!

6. When I got up to put on my pants this morning, I wore a pair of green underwear.

A friend came over and said, shit, you cuckolded your dick!

Me: Nima. . .

Data from/Wen Zi Xiaohua/