Happy joke encyclopedia hilarious about happy joke encyclopedia hilarious.

1, my mother has always been frugal, and generally does not let the air conditioner be turned on, which consumes too much electricity! I slipped two dogs back at night, sweating profusely, and my mother turned on the air conditioner in distress! Me: Mom, you don't have to turn on the air conditioner. I just need a fan! Mom: If you want to fan, just close the bedroom door and watch our dog get hot. Then I went to the refrigerator and took out the chilled watermelon.

2. Recently, a boy moved to the community and brought different girls home every day. I asked him: How many girls do you harm every day? He said bitterly: My girlfriend studies makeup, and she says that every day gives me a different feeling.

In the intensive care unit of the hospital, a seriously ill patient woke up, saw the nurse and asked: How long do you think my life can last? Nurse: This one? You have to ask Yan! Patient: Will God want me? Nurse: I don't know! Patient: Aren't you angels? Nurse: We just pick up and drop off, regardless of approval! !

4. Zhan Zhao told Mahan about his heroic deeds: "On that day, I inquired about Xiaoyao Building and got important information, but I was caught in the office by mistake and was seriously injured. I took a strong breath and supported it to Kaifeng. Suddenly it was dark. " Mahan asked with concern, "Did you faint?" Zhan Zhao: "No, it's Mr. Bao."

A couple got on the bus on a sunny day. After they found a seat, the girl felt too sunburned and asked her boyfriend to change places with her. Not long after the change, the car turned a corner and the girl was exposed to the sun again. She gave her boyfriend a push and he sat back in his original seat. But after a while, the car turned again and the girl gave her boyfriend a push. Her boyfriend stood up and said, "I don't want to sit. I'm not a sunflower."

6. Once I went to pick up my son from school, a little girl greeted his son and he ignored others. Me: "That little girl likes you very much." My son said seriously. "I won't consider these issues before I become a monitor!"

7. After class, I went to the supermarket to buy walnuts. My roommate asked me why I bought walnuts. I said brain tonic. She looked at my chest and said simply, "The chest is big and brainless! Understood! " I'll go. . .

8. In the second day of junior high school, I used my mobile phone to work as a summer vacation worker in Shunyi, Beijing. The manager asked me how old I was. At that time, I was black, and I was 23 if I was more mature. As a result, people believed me and accepted me. After a month, I went to get a salary card, and the bank service staff said that people under the age of 14 could not get a bank card by themselves. . . . . .

9. Our teacher said that she was busy with business, and two mobile phone cards were simply not enough. I hope to have a mobile phone that can insert three cards. Then I muttered: all three cards of the mobile phone have been issued, okay? Two mobile phone cards and a memory card. . . Only the teacher has a black line on his face. . .

10 I have a colleague named Liu, and we all call him Time. Once the company wanted to do a product advertisement, it held a meeting to discuss it. My colleague went out to meet a client and didn't come back until halfway. We disagree about the length of the advertisement. At this time, my colleague just pushed the door and came in, just as the boss said, "I don't care, anyway, you have to use time to strangle me!" " Then my colleague walked out of the door silently with a shocked face. The door closed, and we all froze for a few seconds, and then we laughed hysterically.

1 1, "Why doesn't WeChat come out on the computer?" "Because the computer is too heavy to shake." Q: Is there anyone who makes you feel sour when you think about it? Yes, the one who sells Sugar-Coated Berry.

12, many people don't need cash now. Yesterday, I queued for payment, and several people paid by WeChat. A woman with cash in the back has begun to doubt her life. Q: Can I pay in cash?

13. Colleagues should exercise by bike to work. I saw her not riding a bike today and asked her, Did you lose your car? My colleague glanced at me: it was too hot, so I changed my car into an popsicle. . .

14. In summer, Anonymous will take a road test. She kept looking down at the gear nervously and the examiner stopped her. This woman is more nervous. She looked up at the front, reached for the gear and accidentally touched the examiner's thigh! The examiner said with a straight face, "I won't buy your set!" " "

15, I remember once when I was cutting BP, I set up a platform with a doctor who came to study. Tell the patient to take off his pants and lie down to start the operation. Seeing that the doctor's hand holding a needle and tweezers is just the opposite of usual, I casually asked: Hey, are you left-handed? Before the doctor could answer, he heard the following patient shout: Wow, doctor, you are awesome. You can tell I'm left-handed by looking at my little brother.

16, before going to bed last night, a silver roommate was hungry. I found a loaf of bread on the table, so I picked it up and ate it. I kindly remind you that the shelf life of that bread seems to be today. Then he looked at his watch. Oh, my God! It's 23:59, so look at your watch and take a bite. Jump to 00:00 and stop. Don't forget to say: I can't eat now, it's expired.

17, foreign tourists: boss! Boss: What's the matter? Tourist: Why is there no fish in this fish-flavored eggplant? Boss: Fish-flavored eggplant has no fish at all! Tourist: What is the name of a fish without fish? Boss: It's hard for you to say so. If you order a "tiger skin green pepper", the employer must first give you the whole tiger skin and then order a couple's lung slices. I won't kill two people?