Humorous short story joke

Humorous short stories and jokes in 2 words (8 selected stories)

Stories are generally closely related to the production and life of primitive human beings, who are eager to know nature, so they take themselves as the basis and imagine that everything in the world has life and will like human beings. The following are humorous stories and jokes I have compiled, hoping to help everyone!

1

No chance

A man accused the lawyer of saying, "You promised me that my wife would be acquitted, but she was still sentenced to one year." The lawyer said angrily, "That's because she kept talking in court, and I didn't even have a chance to interrupt!" "

Legal consultation

The newly-married wife asked the lawyer, "I have been married to him for less than a month, and he threw a cake at me. I want to divorce him. " Lawyer: "Yes, just charge him with intentional injury." The bride continued, "What I can't forgive most is that I made the cake myself." The lawyer thought for a moment and said, "Then you are guilty, too. You are suspected of making and providing a murder weapon."

Wait another year

A couple wants a divorce. They are fighting for custody of three children in court, and both want two children. When the judge was annoyed, he said, "Well, don't divorce first, go back and have another child, and then divorce again next year, so there is no need to argue."

What a grievance

Three prisoners were sitting in front of a squint judge. The judge asked majestically, "What's your name?" "Bill." The second prisoner answered honestly. "I didn't ask you!" The judge growled. "But I didn't say anything!" The third prisoner replied with grievance.

reason

the husband asked a lawyer to handle the divorce procedure. Lawyer: "Why do you want to divorce your wife?" Husband: "I can't stand my wife's bad habit any longer. She doesn't lie down and sleep until morning every day." Lawyer: "What does she do at night?" Husband: "waiting for me to go home!" "

why the fight?

The judge is interrogating a young man who was fighting with someone in a telephone booth. "Why fight?" Asked the judge. "At that time, I was calmly chatting with my girlfriend in the phone booth." The young man said, "At this moment, that guy came over. He wanted to call, but I wouldn't let him, so he kicked me out of the phone booth." "No wonder you lost your temper." The judge thought for a moment and said. "Not only that," the young man added, "but he also kicked my girlfriend out of the phone booth."

have a cigarette!

Before the execution, the prison guard said to the condemned man, "Come on, have another cigarette!" Prisoner: "if you don't smoke, it will be addictive." Humorous stories and jokes 2

Praise their sons

Two parents praise each other's sons.

a: my son is a genius. yesterday, he drew a dragonfly on the wall, and his mother caught it several times.

b: what is that? My son drew a snake on the floor, and I was so scared that I broke out of the door, but he also drew that door on the wall!

front and back doors

Look at how the Beijing subway bullies foreigners: the bus stop name "South Square East of Beijing West Railway Station" includes four directions in the southeast and northwest; When I announced the stop, I said, "The front door is here, please get off at the back door" ...

I once saw two foreigners dumbfounded on the spot.

The medical treatment is ineffective

I received a leave note this morning, which said, "Teacher, a certain classmate in your class is ineffective because of medical treatment in the school hospital ..."

There was a loud bang in my brain, and people who were alive a few days ago, how come now ... my tears come down.

After crying for a long time, I picked up the note and suddenly saw, "So I went to the city today to continue my treatment. I hope the teacher will give me leave!"

kiss up

it's very pleasant for the chairman to lead outstanding employees to go for an outing. The chairman is over 5 years old, and he is full of energy with us young people. We all praise him for his youth.

while everyone was flattering, a colleague made up a wreath from nowhere and gave it to the chairman. Another colleague said, "Leader, you look great in a wreath."

raising a son

I suddenly feel that raising a son is like playing online games. Building a number is like being born, and then taking care of it hard every day. It takes only one year to get promoted to more than 2 levels. It's amazing, it's well equipped, and I can shoulder the BOSS alone. As a result, my daughter-in-law has stolen the number and will never get it back ...

Suddenly, I realized

On the weekend. However, wandering around my dad disappeared. I just looked for my dad, but my mom didn't buy anything, so I had to give up ...

Suddenly, I had an epiphany-ginger is still hot!

Tutor

The old horse called the name of his first girlfriend several times in his sleep, and his wife woke him up and asked warily, "Who are you calling?"

the old horse quickly covered up: "I dreamed of being a teacher, asking students to answer questions."

The wife asked, "Then why do you always ask the same student to answer questions in a class?"

The old horse was stupefied and then replied, "Because I am a tutor."

quarrel

We had a quarrel with our deskmate just now, and neither of us talked to each other in class. Suddenly, our mobile phone shook, and it read three words from our deskmate, "I'm sorry."

I was immediately moved, so I replied to his short message. Just as it was being sent, my deskmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted, "Teacher, he plays with his mobile phone in class!"

I guessed the beginning, but I couldn't guess the ending.

Do you know each other?

On the bus, a woman dragged a dog to sit next to me. I took a look at the dog, and it looked at me, and then it looked at me. I kept staring at it, and it stared at me.

after a while, the woman looked at her dog, then at me and asked, do you know each other?

lovelorn message

A few days ago, I received a puzzling message: "Let's break up and don't contact again."

I guess I sent the wrong message. Out of kindness, I replied, "You sent it by mistake, I don't know you."

a moment later, I received a text message again: "You are cruel." Humorous short story joke 3

"Driver:" Hey, sir, didn't you see the propaganda slogan of' No Smoking'? "

passenger (cigarette in hand): "Yes, but I'm all confused by you. Isn't there an advertisement for' Please wear a mermaid bra'? Do I have to listen to it, too?" "humorous short story joke 4

one day, Xiao Ming and his grandmother were having dinner. His grandmother told Xiao Ming to eat more, so she said, "Come on, grandson, have a fisheye. You can see clearly after eating the fish eye. "

Xiao Ming said happily," Really? Grandma, I want to eat bird wings. After eating them, I can fly! 5

It snowed heavily all night. The next morning, I prepared my tools and planned to take my son to the square of the community to make a snowman.

Before going out, my son and I discussed, "Dad, when we get to the square, please stand still, and I will shovel snow on you, so that I can build a tall snowman that can run and blink."? "humorous short story joke 6

Jia Jia went to the concert with her mother.

mom: Jia Jia, do you know what the man standing in front of the band is doing with a stick?

Jia Jia: Mom! Do you see those instruments? They made different sounds, and the man stirred them up with a stick!

mom: ...... humorous short story joke 7

There was a young monk who ran into the yard with a long bamboo pole in the middle of the night, waving and beating at the night sky, making a scene. Finally, the old monk was alarmed. The old monk asked, "Don't sleep in the middle of the night, what the hell are you doing? "The young monk nervously summoned up his courage to answer," Master, I want the stars in the sky, but no matter how hard I swing, I can't beat them all the time ... "The old monk immediately flew into a rage and swore," You idiot, you don't even know such a simple question. It's really stupid and unforgivable. How can you fight from a place like that ... You won't climb on the roof. 8

My son couldn't afford to support his elderly mother, so he decided to carry her up the hill and throw her down. In the evening, my son said that he would carry his mother up the mountain for a walk, and her mother climbed up his back with difficulty. He wanted to climb higher all the way before leaving her. When he saw his mother secretly spilling beans on his back, he asked angrily, "What are you doing spilling beans?" As a result, his mother's answer made him burst into tears: "Silly son, I am afraid that you will get lost when you go down the mountain alone."

The love of parents will accompany you all your life, even if they are old;