A humorous joke that pleases girls.

I beat my deskmate up on the first day of school, and the teacher told me to call my parents. I said: nothing, I can beat him by myself!

second, man: marry me! W: Do you think we will be happy when we get married? M: Of course. W: How do you know? Man: You are such a man. Even if love doesn't work, friendship can last forever.

Third, the doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with the telephone pole. One of them passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two sticks!

4. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What happened? Drunk: I don't know, I just arrived.

5. A: Long time no see, old classmate. What's your annual salary now? B: 3 million. A: Is there 2, to 3, in that month? B: Yes, this is the basic salary. A: Not bad. What do you do? B: Dreaming.

6. I met my dad buying lottery tickets on the road and asked him, "Dad, what are you going to spend if you win the grand prize?" As a result, my dad glanced at me, "Why do you care so much? What's your business?"

7. "Our manager said that selling insurance requires a shameless spirit." "That's why you go to the ladies' room to sell insurance!" Asked the policeman.

Eight, one day, the phone rang at home, because my parents didn't answer it at the door of my parents' house, but my parents always didn't answer it, so I had to put on my clothes and get up to answer the phone, only to hear my father say on the other end of the phone, Send me the TV remote control ...

Nine, Teacher: Xiao Ming, please make a copy of "If every drop of water can represent a blessing, I will send you an ocean". Xiaoming: If each flower represents a blessing, I will send you a wreath! In an instant, the whole class is sensational! ! ! Teacher: Roll, roll, roll at once! !

1. Today, some idiot asked his sister out, saying, "Girl, I see that you have fine features and are upright and upright. Can you be buried in my ancestral grave in a hundred years to ward off evil spirits?" I guess this idiot may not find a girlfriend in his life.

Xi. Male: Daimengmei, why did you reject me then? Woman: Because my heart beats faster and I blush every time I see you, I thought I would get sick and die with you.

12. One of my classmates is a Christian, and I feel a little possessed. School should do morning exercises in the morning, and he thinks that teachers must also get up early to do exercises, otherwise it is unfair. So I went straight to the headmaster to negotiate. The headmaster paused and said, "Where are you from?" My classmate said lovingly, "I was sent by God to save you." Principal: ...

XIII. Xiao Li in the office said to Xiao Zhang, "Which should I listen to first, good news or bad news?" Xiao Zhang: "Bad news." Xiao Li: "The good news I want to say is false."

XIV. Son: Dad, tell me a story. Dad: OK. Once upon a time, there was a frog. Son: No, I want to listen to historical stories. Dad: OK. In the Song Dynasty, there was a frog.

XV. The monitor asked: Who was the biggest official in our platoon? A: It's a platoon leader. The monitor asked again: Who is under the teacher? The recruit answered: It was the horse that the teacher rode.

16. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. How can I get back to normal if I eat cucumbers and eat watermelons? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

XVII. On the plane, an air hostess asked a little girl, "Why doesn't the plane hit the stars when it flies so high?" The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will flash!"

18. Friends went climbing together. When they reached the top of the mountain, a girl shouted to the beautiful mountains and rivers: Motherland! My mother! A boy who secretly loves her quickly shouted: motherland! My mother-in-law

19. Bees chase butterflies, but butterflies marry snails. The bee doesn't understand: where is he better than me? Butterfly answers: People have their own houses at least, which is not like you living in a dormitory.

twenty, my wife bought a dog, and when she had nothing to do, she took RMB to let the dog smell it. I felt very strange, so I asked, Wife, what are you doing, letting the dog pick up money for you on the street? The wife smiled mysteriously: "You will know later!" A few days later, my private money disappeared, so I stopped talking, and all I said was tears ... < P > 21. When the teacher was in class, he suddenly talked about the self-cultivation of girls. Xiaoming raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I know: I took three thousand selfies, only one." Teacher: Get out!

twenty-two, when you reach the age of blind date, you will find: how well-connected your parents are!

Twenty-three, a woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms and making a hug. The man fell to the ground and cried, saying, It's the third piece, so it's so difficult to bring a piece of glass home.

Twenty-four, the tortoise is injured. Let snails buy medicine. After two hours. The snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise scolded in a hurry: I'll die if I don't fucking come back! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking say that I'm not going!

twenty-five. I quarreled with a friend before. A friend is a particularly proud person, who ignores anyone after a quarrel. Suddenly sent me a message in the middle of the night: "The sum of the first item plus the last item is multiplied by the number of items divided by two." I asked, "What are you doing?" He said, "make peace."