Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - The wolf dodged the joke.

The wolf dodged the joke.

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles!"

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" " "

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! "

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe that was rolling.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the cigarette and the white rabbit and threw the cigarette behind her.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit and threw the cocaine behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Later, they met a lion who was about to fight * * * *.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit and threw the syringe behind him.

Rushed over and gave the white rabbit a good beating.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This bastard rabbit pulls me every time he brings * * * * *.

Running around the forest like an idiot. "

On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home.

On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

If you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!

To test the strength of the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests.

See who finds the rabbit in three places first.

Before the first forest was the United States, they spent a whole half-day meeting to make a battle plan, and the division of labor was strict.

After that, special forces were sent to the forest for a carpet search. As a result, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away and the task was completed.

defeat

Then it was Hong Kong's turn. They sent more than 100 people and dozens of police cars lined up outside the Woods, led by leaders.

Loudspeaker: "Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed, but nothing happened.

Flying Tigers went into the forest and searched again. No result, mission failed!

Finally, China * * *, only four, first played mahjong for a day, and at dusk, one person went into the forest with a baton, not five.

A few minutes later, I heard the screams of animals in the forest. China * * * came out smoking and talking and laughing.

There is a black and blue bear dragging behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Stop fighting, I'm a rabbit." .....

.."

The little white rabbit was walking in the forest. When he met the wolf, he came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers.

Son, say, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came over and gave it again.

The little white rabbit has two big mouths and says, "I want you to wear a hat."

Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter. Please believe it." . while

One day, the tiger found his partner, the wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. It is very difficult for me. " say

After wiping the dust off the table, he said, "Do you think this will work? You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece

Meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can beat her?

Let's go Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found a plump, you said you.

I like slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "big

The grey wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above guidance work was

The little white rabbit who is weeding the tiger's house outside the window heard it. I hate this in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu,

Come and find me a piece of meat. "Tu Tu said," So, do you want to be fat or thin? "The wolf listened.

After that, my heart sank and I was delighted. I said, it's a good thing there is a plan B, and he said, "Tutu, Mary, find me one."

Here comes the woman. "Tu Tu asked," So, do you like plump or slim? " The wolf was silent 2.

After a few seconds, I raised my hand and gave Tutu two big ear posts. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."

Bears and rabbits shit in the forest. After that, the bear asked the rabbit, "Have you lost your hair?" The rabbit said, "Don't drop it ~"

So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass.

A rabbit molested a wolf (this rabbit is very strong).

Then he ran away and the wolf chased him angrily.

The rabbit will catch up with the wolf when it sees it.

He sat under a tree,

Put on sunglasses and read the newspaper.

Pretend nothing happened,

Then the wolf came and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree.

Q: "Did you see a rabbit running past!"

The rabbit replied, "Did the rabbit tease the wolf?"

The wolf shouted, "No way! It's in the newspaper so soon! ! ! "

One day, a little white rabbit came to a shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head: "No."

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

The next day, the little white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

On the third day, the white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shouted angrily, "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with pliers! "

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

The fourth day, the little white rabbit came to this shop again and asked timidly, "Boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said, "No."

The white rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

I don't know how many days later, a little black rabbit came to this shop and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little black rabbit ran away after hearing it.

The next day, the little black rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was very angry: "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with pliers! "

The little black rabbit ran away after hearing it.

On the third day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly, "boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said angrily, "No."

The little black rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

The boss got angry, grabbed the little black rabbit, took out a small hammer and knocked out the little black rabbit's teeth.

The fourth day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked vaguely, "Boss, do you have carrot juice?"

Giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. Everything is delicious.

When I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck. That delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The rabbit looked at him blankly.

"Also, in summer, rabbits, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. Have a long neck

Great! Rabbit, can you imagine? "

The rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

One day, a kangaroo was driving on a country road, and suddenly he saw a white rabbit on the road, whose ears and body were almost broken.

Everything on the ground seems to be listening to something. ...

So .. Kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "What are you listening to, Little White Rabbit?"

"A big truck passed here half an hour ago ..."

"Wow .. so God! .. how do you know? .."

"He XX! That's how my neck and legs are broken .. "

Walking in the forest, the ant suddenly met an elephant. The ant burrowed into the soil and stretched out a leg.

The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing?

The ant whispered to it:

Shh ... don't make a sound, watch me trip. ...

One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The wolf asked again, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves."

The wolf laughed and said he didn't believe it.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. At this moment

Another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The fox asked, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?"

The fox laughed after hearing this, expressing disbelief.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit came out alone again.

Cave went on writing his paper.

At this time, in the cave, a lion was sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: 1

The ability of an animal depends not on its strength, but on who is its boss behind the scenes!

In a mental hospital, one day, the dean wanted to see how three mental patients were recovering, so he went to see each of them.

There is a white rabbit in front of people. The first mental patient sat on the white rabbit and grabbed its ear.

, mouth shouted "drive", the dean shook his head; The second man turned his back on the white rabbit and patted its ass and said

With the words "chase me", the dean sighed; The third crouched there, touching the white rabbit assiduously. After the dean saw it,

Nodding with satisfaction, I only heard him say, "demo, let you walk 300 meters, and I will chase you after washing the car!" " "courtyard

The dragon fell to the ground and fainted. ...

The white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit.

Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits are good-looking, you are in trouble! You'll know when it's dirty. That's disgusting.

Heart!

The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it?

Bear said, yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away.

The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar.

An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes.

The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true.

The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true.

The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again.

The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again.

The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turning the bear into * * * * * * ...

Three white rabbits picked a mushroom.

The two big ones let the small one get some wild vegetables to eat together.

The younger one said I wouldn't go. If I leave, you will eat my mushrooms.

The two older ones said no and went ~ ~ ~

Half a year has passed, and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. The big one can't come back. Let's eat.

The other big one said wait ~ ~ ~

A year has passed and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. Don't wait for us to eat.

Just then, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the nearby jungle and said angrily, Look! I knew you would eat me.

Mushrooms.